Short, dumb little fic thingy.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this story.

The Hands had a problem on their hands. Link.

"He won't wear it," Crazy Hand reported to Master Hand.

Master Hand sighed. He already had a report a mile long to submit to Sakurai about the mess the Mario brothers had made of the plumbing in the Mansion, Cloud's tendency to limit break in his sleep, King Dedede's demand for eyeglasses so that he could tell the difference between Kirby and Jigglypuff, etcetera. Just thinking about it all made his head (which he didn't really have) hurt. He didn't want to have to add this to the list.

"Is there anything we can do to force him to wear it?" he asked.

They were quiet for a minute, then Crazy Hand did an 'I have an idea' flip. He told his brother his plan, and they both laughed their very evil laughs. "Mwah ha ha. No one messes with the Hands."

000

Link stumbled into the bathroom from his bed. He was both deep sleeper and not a morning person. He had to splash cold water on his face in order to fully wake up every morning. As he raised his head to dry his face on the towel, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. His blue eyes widened in shock and horror. He splashed more water on his face and looked again.

"Oh no," he whispered.

000

"Link!" Zelda exclaimed. "I thought you didn't want to wear that hat. You look absolutely ridiculous."

By now everyone in the dining hall was looking at him. Marth's smirk as he adjusted his tiara was nearly unbearable. Pit whispered to Dark Pit, "Link's always been so weird." Stern and silent Sheik was actually giggling.

"Everyone knows that you love to sleep," Zelda continued, "but you don't need to proclaim it by wearing a green nightcap." She advanced toward him.

"Don't touch my hat!" he cried, and jumped back - into the clutches of Ganondorf. The Gerudo grabbed his arms and held them behind. Link struggled, but there was no escaping from Ganon.

"We're just trying to help you." Zelda traipsed over and plucked off the hat. "Link! You're a monk!"

So yeah, Linky was given a haircut so he'd wear his iconic hat. My thought process is kinda strange, and I dump the products on you guys. I hope this made someone smile.

And a quick question: has anyone else had that moment where you get smacked by the realization that Link looks like Peter Pan? (I looked it up afterwards, and sure enough, the Hero of Time is based off of a boy who never grew up.)