1

"We have to hurry darling" she speaks with a worried tone, almost fearful as she looks down at me and she pulls at my hand to encourage me to run. Her long blonde hair is bouncing, the large wavy curls flying on the wind as she tries to hurry me along.

Steps.

Steep and curving downward.

It is cold, there is a fierce wind and it whips at my face as she loses patience and scoops me up, running for the car.

Old.

She literally hurls me onto the back seat and I land with a dull thud, the air knocked from me but at least the wind is gone now. It is warmer in the car.

Vauxhall?

Everything is black and white, the colour turned down and muted but it is cold so it's real and I am afraid now as she runs for the driver's door, pausing to look back over her shoulder with wide eyes, her mouth open and panting with alarm.

They found us.

She is driving, looking back between the seats with wide eyes, then down at me where I lay sprawled across the back seat, clinging to the upholstery for dear life. Then she gives me the smile she used to give Da. Her Liar Smile, "It's going to be OK Teddy. Don't be scared, it's OK."

They she is cursing as we slide around a corner on the road. I hear the screeching brakes, I hear her panting and my own heartbeat's pounding a strange tattoo.

A country road, trees and the sunlight flashing through the canopy like a searchlight swinging about, coming and going. I am in my back now, looking out the back window at the storm as it rages above us, the rain chasing us too. No. We go towards the storm, we want the storm.

Mama is looking up like she is afraid of being hunted from above as well.

The car jolts to a halt and she has hit the guard rail for the parking area, the crunch throwing me off the seat to the floor with a dull thud and I have bitten my tongue.

I taste the blood and tears well as I try not to cry.

Men don't cry.

Da always said so as he raised his hand again, the second slap always for the tears from the first.

The door flies open and she is dragging me out with bad words as she hugs me, kisses and apologises but tells me there is no time. Cuddles later but big brave boys run.

The sea, I can smell the waves, hear them as we run and I look up at the building. A lighthouse, it's a lighthouse and we run up the concrete path that turns in a lazy circle around it, Mama pulling at my hand again as she keeps looking up, then back behind me.

She is breathing in short gasps like in pain. As an adult I know its stitch or something worse but as a little child it just confuses me to see her afraid. Mama is never afraid, not even when Da hit her did she show fear, only defiance as she looked back up from the floor.

But that is another memory and this one is still moving forward.

A stream of water and I hesitate. My fear of water holding me back and she looks back at me, already having stepped over it with a frown.

"Come on Teddy Bear, no time to dilly dally, we have to keep moving."

She has pulled her scarf off, no. She was never wearing it. I don't know where the scarf came from but it is in her hands and she it twisting it, wringing it as she begs me to step over the small stream of water.

I look up into her eyes and see fear. Mama is afraid.

I step forward, my foot sinking into the water and I look back up with alarm as I feel it spilling into my little shoe but her hand is there and I reach for it with my cyber hand seizing it as the world explodes with sound, into real life.

She is shattered like glass, flying apart as he screams her name.

Noise.

A gunshot.

.

.

.

.

.

Ianto surges from the bed with a hoarse cry, clutching at the air and Jack grunts as he grabs for him, stopping his fall from the bed as he pulls him back into his embrace.

He is covered in sweat, quivering as his muscles seem to have a mini riot and he struggles for a moment before smelling his beloved's scent of safety, relaxing into the clutch, into the bond.

Another comfort tickles the back of his mind as Heath calls out to him from his little bed beside them, the commotion having woken him and he wishes to have a place in the clutch too.

Ianto pulls back and retrieves the baby, placing him between them as he attempts to control his heart.

"A dream" Jack says softly, "It was just a dream sweetheart."

"A memory" Ianto corrects as he starts to relax.

Safe.

"What about?" Jack asks softly, "Sharing is releasing. Tell me baby."

"It was ….Mama" Ianto frowns, counting in his head and chastising himself for still being afraid of something that happened so long ago.

"Bad? With your father again?" Jack sighs softly.

"No. No. Yes. No. The bad men wanted me. Mama, she was trying to hide me, trying to get me to Taddy. Me Da, he was one of the bad men trying to snatch me back" Ianto shuffles in the bedding as he becomes more aware of himself and the fear was now gone as he relaxes.

"Wait, Taddy or Da. He can't be both" Jack frowns into the darkened room as a tiny hand strokes his neck.

"Taddy was my Taddy and Da was me Mama's husband" Ianto sighs. "Two."

"The man who raised you was not your real father, a step-father" Jack finally understands and lets it alone, rubbing Ianto's shoulder where the cyber arm is connected as if he knew it was burning.

"I don't want to talk about it, it was a bad time, evil things and I ….I let them go. Mama made me promise, to let them go" Ianto whispers as he closes his eyes and tries to go back to sleep.

But the image of her lying in the water comes back to him, the water beneath her changing to red as it flows away over the edge of the walkway and colour bleeds all around him, the long scarf now in his own hands as he cries.

The sound of footsteps as he runs toward them, crying out her name.

"Promise me Teddy Bear, you will let them go. Don't harm them, don't ever, ever use your gift." She chokes as blood bubbles at the corner of her mouth and he knows she is leaving him. She had promised she never would but there in the cold, bleak autumn morning she is leaving him.

She had promised.

She had lied.

So he smiles and lies right back.

"I promise Mama, I won't hurt them."