AUTHOR'S NOTE: I've chosen to ignore the fact that Zay offered Maya company in Girl Meets Bear for plot purposes. Hope that's not too disappointing for anybody! I've decided to post this one-shot as a prompt for a multi-chapter Joshaya story that I'll be posting relatively soon. While the two stories are as of yet separate, nothing has 100% been decided yet.

I can't wait to go on this journey with you guys, please review and let me know what you think/how I can improve! I love feedback, whether it be positive or negative.

- SleepingStarlight

WARNING: There is strong language in here, so read at your own discretion and let me know if you think I should change the rating.

And lastly, I own none of these characters nor any aspects from the show Girl Meets World.

Birthdays weren't always the best for Josh. Everyone would have Valentine's plans, (he rarely would), and as a result everyone would always celebrate hastily. So, in all honesty, university was refreshing in this aspect- and this aspect alone- because everyone had to go to school anyways so he didn't really feel like he was missing anything. He was going for a few drinks after class with his friends the next day, but for now he was heading over to Cory's to spend the evening with his family, and a certain blonde, he thought with a smile.

He pressed the buzzer confidently while waiting out in the frigid air. Another disadvantage of being born in February, it was always fucking cold.

"Come on up Uncle Josh," he heard Riley say through the speaker box. It had been a while, he reflected on his trek up the stairs. They had changed the carpet on the landing to a red and green manifestation, clearly left over from Christmas and he couldn't help but chuckle thinking that they should've gotten the Valentine's Day memo by now.

As he knocked on the door, he heard the sound of feet running before a ten year old Auggie flung opened the door, then launched himself at his uncle enthusiastically. He had gotten a bit bigger, so Josh didn't lift him up, but instead knelt down and gathered his nephew into a bone-crushing hug. It had been way too long.

"Uncle Josh!" he heard Riley cry before running and draping herself over him in a hug from behind- essentially dogpiling him and Auggie.

"Niche Riley," he called with a laugh, seeing the puzzled look on her face.

"Only Uncle Eric can call me that!" She said sternly as she got up.

"Understood," he replied with mock solemnity that Riley bought up so easily. "My brotha," he shouted reaching out to Cory for a hug.

"I almost thought you forgot about me," Cory said with a pout.

"Never could, honey," Josh replied watching Cory's expression as he slowly registered what was just said.

"I'm not your honey, Joshie!" He cried out defensively, reaching for Topanga, "I'm hers," he added smugly.

"Pangerz!" Josh shouted excitedly before reaching for a hug.

"Josh," Topanga said through her laughter, "you can't just adopt Eric's nicknames for us, he'll get all territorial and I don't want to deal with that next time he comes down for Christmas!"

"Yeah, okay," Josh reconciled with a smile. He missed this.

"Come'on kid," Cory said while grabbing Josh by the arm and dragging him to the kitchen. "I love you so much that I thought I'd try my hand at your favourite dish, Lasagna. So, you can at least set the table," he said handing a pile of plates to Josh with over-dramatic disdain.

"Fine, Honey!" Josh said sarcastically, loving to antagonize Cory and fully expecting what would happen next.

"I'M NOT YOUR HONEY," Cory yelled exasperatedly.

{ … }

"Maya's coming!" Riley called, running to the kitchen as everybody was preparing to eat. "She just texted me. Oh crap, it was supposed to be a surprise. Josh try and act surprised!" she instructed.

"Oh okay, good," Topanga said while taking the lasagna from Cory after he burned his hand, and setting it on the table.

Josh smiled, happy at the news. He had wondered where she was, considering she was always at his brother's house. It wouldn't have felt quite the same without her and he had come to value her company to a degree which he hadn't before. Whenever circumstance brought them together, they would spend sometimes over an hour conversing about anything they could, not wanting the moment to end. And while they were getting closer, Josh still felt the need to put some boundaries between them. And he usually drew the line at some mutual flirting, much to the discomfort of Cory.

He had just taken his seat at the table when he heard the front door close quietly and felt a pair of hands covering his eyes. "Guess who?" she asked childishly.

"Well," he thought out loud, trying to remember her exact wording, "who do I most want to be here?"

He felt the hands move away from his face.

"You told him, didn't you Riles?" Maya asked, slightly disgruntled.

"Yeaaa." Riley admitted guiltily.

"It's okay Maya, it was kind of obvious anyways," Josh said. "I'll always be able to tell if it's you," he said, offering her a smile.

Maya laughed, then plopped herself down in the seat across from him, meeting his eyes then hastily looking away.

"So how's high school going for you two?" Josh asked while reaching for the salad.

"Oh, it's so exciting Uncle Josh," Riley recounted happily. "There is so much drama, and I didn't know it, but now I live for it! I tried out for the cheer team again, but it didn't work out. So I decided to join Global Issues! I've realized it's time that I get information about the world, aside from what the Riley Committee decides to tell me," she said with pride. "And Lucas and I are together!" she squealed. "He's so sweet, and we help each other with our homework, AND he invited me to go to Texas with him to meet his family in the summer. They still haven't said yes though," she said gesturing to her parents.

"Yeah, sorry for ruining your highschool career Riles, but I think you'll survive," Topanga quipped through her mouthful of lasagna.

"What about you, Maya?" Josh asked, naturally expecting a less enthusiastic response than Riley's, but still more than he received.

"Good," she said, not looking at him directly and causing him to feel instant concern. But, she obviously didn't feel like talking about it there, so he saved it for another time and proceeded to ask Auggie how the fourth grade was carrying out. After lengthy replies on everybody's behalf except Maya's, they finished their food and began to clean up.

"Oh, come on Josh," Topanga exclaimed while putting the dishes in the sink. "Tomorrow's your birthday, go sit down with the kids, this isn't your job."

"You sure?" he asked hesitant to leave all the work for them.

"Yeah, go have fun." She smiled.

He scanned the living room for Maya, hoping to ask for more details on her abrupt reply earlier, (after all it seemed to be their thing to figure out their problems as a unit). So he walked over to Riley's room, fully expecting to see the two huddling by the bay window, but instead saw a small Maya-shaped bundle sitting on the fire escape. He heard footsteps behind him and ran into Riley, who glanced suspiciously between him in her room and Maya outside.

"I was going to follow her, but you can take it this time," Riley cautiously said to him before backing out of the room slowly. Near the door, she turned to him and carefully said, "she's already a bit broken, so please be careful with her," before leaving and closing the door behind her.

So he headed out onto the fire escape towards the small body huddled against the cold. Climbing through the window, he noticed how small the escape really was and gulped nervously, before allowing his mind to settle and sit down next to her with his shoulder pressed against hers. He could feel a startlingly loud heartbeat and checked himself. He was nervous. Maya did that to him, and trust him, it wasn't a new effect. He felt himself relax a bit when he heard her steady breathing next to him. She hadn't said a word so far, so he turned to her with a question on his lips.

"I don't want to talk about it," she interrupted abruptly. She was not going to have this conversation with Josh of all people.

"Self-centred much?" he immediately quipped after retracting his question hastily. This would clearly have to be approached differently. Although, making a strategic plan was a bit difficult with her sitting so close to him, cheeks and lips pink and flushed from the cold air that swirled around them. She's sixteen, he reproached himself while cursing inwardly. So he cleared his throat and continued, "I just wanted to update you on Schnoop-a-loop," he said with a slight laugh. She smiled next to him and he took that as a sign to keep going. "He tried to wake me up this morning to help him reach a spot he couldn't reach on his back in the shower. I had to physically leave. I went to my first class in my pajamas," he said, madly hoping to put another smile on her face. So when she began to laugh, he sighed in relief. But her next words pierced his bravado slightly.

"How is it actually going Josh?" She asked with concern. She had heard Riley mention briefly how difficult it was for him to adjust and how lonely he got on occasion.

He looked at her, trying to decipher her expression, but eventually gave up when she continued to only show him her profile and gaze out onto the busy street.

"It isn't easy," he sighed dejectedly. "You think you know exactly how everything is going to pan out, but you don't. Half the time I'm surrounded by people I don't know very well, and the other half, sometimes you get to spend with your friends, but a lot of it, you're just doing work. Schoolwork, or a job to pay for your schoolwork, it's relentless. You don't really get a break." It was wearing him down to a degree, each night he fell into bed exhausted. "I feel like a shitty uncle," he lamented, mildly noticing that he had never sworn in front of Maya before. She just seemed so much older this time. "I never even get to drop by anymore. Auggie's growing up and I'm not around half as much as I want to be. Riley and Lucas, they're together and essentially Cory and Topanga 2.0. And I'm missing it all." He glanced nervously towards her, "I'm missing you," he said, reaching out and grabbing her hand. It was still their six weeks until tomorrow, he thought.

"Yeah, okay, Boing." She said, feeling her heart flutter slightly.

"But, enough about me," he said, glancing at her and hoping she'd do the same. "What is going on with you?" he asked, "You're never this quiet at dinner. I already opened up, so now it's your turn. After all," he smiled, "conversation is the most important part of any relationship, and if you open up, you and I will have just had another amazing one."

She turned to him shyly with a smile on her face, happy that he had remembered what she had said that day. He's so close to her that she can't focus, so she turns to the side again, and begins to talk as the smile falls from her lips. Josh can't help but lament its loss.

"Um," she began, "things have just been a little difficult lately." She swallowed audibly before continuing, "Riley and Huckleberry have been together for a while now, and I guess I've become a little bit of a third wheel. They've only been an item for a little while and yet, they gravitate to one another. I can be standing with Riley at her locker talking, and the next moment she's across the hall with the Cowboy doing their awkwardly adorable 'Hi/Hey" thing. And I can't be mad at her, I mean have you seen how happy she is? I could never complain to her about it, she's just a lovestruck fool, and I love her too much to demand anymore of her time, especially since I know she would never hesitate if she knew how I felt." She took a deep breath before continuing, the hardest part was yet to come. "I just- it's hard and I kind of want what they have. And I'm so tired Josh." She sighed sadly, "I want someone to look at me that way. As if I'm their entire world. I just want somebody to love me," she murmured, glancing down at their intertwined hands, almost feeling the current passing through their fingers as tiny electric shocks overloaded her senses.

She looked up at him and he felt his breath catch in his throat because her eyes were so fucking blue and her face was rosy from the wind and he had to physically restrain himself before he did something stupid.

She looked back down at their hands and continued, even though she hadn't planned on pouring her heart out to him, on his birthday of all days. "It's hard to wait on you," she said, feeling her heart palpitate beneath her ribs, "I know- I know that wasn't part of our deal, but I just don't want anyone else, and this-" she gestured between the two of them, "This is only a few months old, and I can't stop thinking about you." This was spinning out of control, she reflected, but her mouth opened of its own accord and she couldn't help what spilled out next. "I've never been behind Riley on anything. She always used to follow me around, but now she's got a boyfriend, and I caught them making out in the Janitor's closet one time. I've never even been kissed. I've never dated anybody. All I've ever wanted is you, but I know that's not even true for you." This wasn't fair, she knew it wasn't, but she continued on regardless. She was rambling, and very little would stop her now. "I know you have. You've had girlfriends and other people in your life. You've kissed them and told them you loved them, they were your age and probably oozing sex appeal and maturity, and it keeps me up sometimes wondering what it is about us- about me- that I can't have that. That I can't have you, and be with you, but for everyone else it's fair game." She began to feel tears well up in her eyes, and she couldn't help but think that this was not how it was supposed to go. "I wouldn't even blame you if you wanted to drop out of our little game, it probably doesn't even mean very much, does it?" She asked, bitterness lacing her tone as she turned towards him and looked him in the eye.

Josh sat with his thoughts racing a million miles per hour. He couldn't begin to understand- but no, he could see where this was coming from. He had always pushed her to remember that they were in different stages of life and it seemed to have finally caught up with her. And this was never the way he had intended it to. And his heart was breaking for this girl that he lov- liked, but he couldn't do anything about it.

"Maya," he began, choosing his words carefully with his voice being slightly dry from everything that had just happened, "You have no reason to be this insecure. And, I'm feeling everything that you are right now. I miss you every time I think about you. And, when we're like this," he said, squeezing their conjoined hands, "I feel everything. And when we talk, even conversations like this," he laughed, "I just want to keep going. It's honestly one of my favourite things. I love our six weeks together, but I wish they were everyday. Um," he swallowed, "I have dated other girls. And I thought that I loved them, but it was the kind that you don't quite understand when you're a boy that age. Unless you're Cory, that is," he chuckled, his brother was the model of unattainability in a relationship. "I've never felt anything close to holding your hand. It's addictive. You're amazing, I meant what I said that day. And-" he hesitated, "when we're sitting this close to each other, I just want to kiss you," he cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand, "but I don't think I would be able to stop," he said huskily. "You have no idea how many things I have to remind myself I can't do with you," he whispered. "And, this may be a long list," he leaned forward and whispered in her ear, his lips barely brushing them causing her to shiver, "but trust me, you're ridiculously more gorgeous than anybody I've ever met before, and I never forget it." He could see her face lift considerably while he spoke and she looked at him with eyes that he would never be able to forget. She trusted him, utterly and completely, and while a part of him was jumping for joy from that look, the rest of him felt scared. Everything was happening so fast.

He could see her leaning in closer to him- a difficult feat considering they were already so close to one another.

He could count the freckles on her nose.

He could see her eyes sparkle with mischief and slight nerves, and he was suddenly so relieved to see that look again that he almost missed what she said next.

"In that case, happy birthday Boing," she said before leaning in tentatively, giving him the chance to move away, before closing the space and gently pressing her trembling lips against his. He almost melted right then and there when she began to try and move her lips against his, scared with inexperience and clearly begging for him to reciprocate. He could feel her shivering, whether from the cold, or from what was happening he didn't know. In all honesty, he knew very little at the moment and was lost in the sensation of her. He must have been in shock, because she began to move away, a slight hurt and disappointed look clouding her face. He could see her beginning to close herself off again, and that couldn't happen, so he reached forward as though he was drowning, closing the few inches between them and encapsulating her shuddering lips within his again. He wanted nothing but Maya, nothing but the way she felt in his arms as he wrapped them around her waist. Nothing but the electric current he could feel travelling through the both of them. Nothing but the tender, sweet kisses she kept giving him, when suddenly they began to move more fervently against one another. He gasped when she started understanding the rhythm, and sucked on his lower lip before biting it and releasing it. He groaned before tracing her lips with his tongue and begging for entrance. It was all happening so fast, and going so far that he just kept going when she opened her lips and gasped into his mouth as his tongue tangled with hers gently. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck before shifting onto his lap for a better position. She could still feel his tongue against hers, trying to entice something out of her, so she began kissing with what little she knew, leaving Josh breathless in the process. This was everything she wanted, she thought as she moved his hands to her hips when his mouth shifted downwards and began kissing the column of her neck as she gasped at the sensations flooding her body. His mouth started off gentle, but progressed to hot, open-mouthed kisses pressed near her collar-bone at the base of her neck. She couldn't help the moan that escaped her mouth when he bit down lightly then soothed it over with his tongue, leaving a mark.

She could feel warmth radiating from him all over her body. This was where she was meant to be. Her hands roamed his soft hair desperately and she felt lost with everything happening around her. He was so careful with her, and he knew what he was doing, she reflected as he returned to her mouth and expertly opened her lips. It felt so loving that she just stopped, stopped moving and let him drive her senseless. It was all so new, and she didn't know what to do so she tried mimicking him and the patterns he traced onto her tongue. If his response was any indication, he loved it and the low noise in the back of his throat sent shivers through her body. It was just so perfect.

She panted slightly, shifting her weight on his lap, and suddenly everything registered to Josh. He tore himself away from her and dropped his head to her shoulder trying to catch his breath. Maya wrapped her arms around his neck gently, contrasting to before, and buried her head into his neck, pressing soft kisses to it as she calmed down.

This has gone way too far, Josh thought and he half-lifted Maya out of his lap, while she whined from the lack of warmth in contrast to the frigid air. Josh placed his head in his hands, trying to calm his racing heart and let Maya take his hand, interlacing their fingers once again.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice hoarse. "That never should have happened, I- I mean I wanted to, but not when you're hurting and not right now. Your first kiss," he groaned, "Oh god, your first kiss is supposed to be sweet, not some college guy shoving his tongue down your throat" he said, seeing what just happened the way he assumed Maya had. He was beginning to ramble when Maya pressed her lips gently to his for no more than a few seconds. This kind of kiss she could handle, she thought. Whereas Josh tried to memorize everything about her lips in whatever time he had. Their softness, the way she gasped lightly every time they connected as though each time she was surprised that he had let her come this far, and the light sweet taste of her. It would be awhile before they could ever do this again- a fact Josh was very aware of but it hadn't quite struck Maya yet.

He broke away reluctantly, instead bringing their foreheads together lightly as they shared the same air. He closed his eyes and leaned back, trying to create some space between them.

Maya laughed nervously, noticing what he was doing, and quietly looked him in the eye and said, "It's okay Josh. I know someday isn't today, and… that's okay. And that was a perfect first kiss, so don't be so dramatic," she blushed. And Josh didn't think he had ever seen her blush.

He looked at her and felt a painful pang in his chest at the way she was looking at him. As though she trusted him with her life and heart, and those two things were not mutually exclusive. He couldn't give her what she wanted, she couldn't have a normal highschool relationship with him. They couldn't experience everything together, they were destined to go their own ways for a while. And while it was one of the hardest things he'd done, he knew it had to work that way. And he knew that she knew it as well, despite how difficult it would be.

There was nothing else to say, so he held out his hand in their timeless agreement, "Someday?" he asked tentatively.

Her response surprised him, she grabbed his hand and yanked him towards her, whispering in his ear, "I think we've gotten past that a little bit, don't you think Boing? When you turn eighteen tonight, we can go back to before," before slamming their lips together and kissing him with such determination, that what she lacked yet in skill, she made up for in other ways, causing him to moan as she released him and climbed through the window sill, sticking a hand out to help him in. He gratefully accepted it, his head was spinning so harshly that he doubted he could walk straight after everything that had just happened.

Once they were inside, Maya placed a hand on his chest and pushed him slightly before walking out Riley's bedroom door. After the initial confusion, he began to understand that he should wait a minute, then rejoin the general populace so as to not raise any suspicion. He began to hear everyone calling for him and walked out into the kitchen, astounded as he took in everything that had been orchestrated in his short absence. Banners were hung skillfully by Riley, Auggie had used his mini balloon pump to blow up birthday balloons, and Cory and Topanga had brought out a cake just large enough for a six of them with three candles on them.

"What does three candles have to do with an eighteenth birthday Cor?" Josh asked jokingly, hoping to hide his flustered face.

"We're cheap, okay?! Ya imp," he shouted exasperatedly, pointing to Maya across the room with Riley, "You know, she asked the exact same question!"

"Ha, ha, ha" Josh laughed, hyper aware and awkward to have Cory mention both he and Maya at the same time after the events on the fire escape. "What a coincidence," he shrugged, hoping to seem nonchalant.

"Whatever, kid," Topanga said, carrying over the cake, placing it on the counter, and gesturing for Josh to stand on the other side so they could take a picture.

"Come'on Uncle Josh," Auggie said excitedly, "make a wish!"

Josh looked up at the people around him and his eyes rested momentarily on Maya. He could see the way she looked at him, and he was sure it was mirrored in his own eyes. He knew how painful this would be for her, their game. He knew that he had made it a thousand times worse with what happened outside. So when he saw the trust in her eyes, (in eyes that have seen little reason to trust before), he wished for the impossible- that he would never cause her pain, and blew out the candles.

{ … }

After the cake had been cut and served, everyone settled into their plans for the night. Cory and Topanga had gotten tickets for the Opera which was meant to be their Valentine's Day excursion, but having found out that tickets were cheaper the day before, they headed out around seven that evening. Riley headed over to Lucas's (with a new and strict curfew that Josh had no intention of enforcing) and Auggie went to his wife's apartment a few doors down. So as Josh sat down to watch a rerun of SNL, he was painfully aware that Maya was just a few doors down in Riley's room.

He was halfway through the episode when he heard the light patter of feet in the hallway and saw an adorable Maya with her hair in a braid, cute pajama shorts, and small booties on her feet. She grabbed another slice of cake from the kitchen and settled down on the couch next to him without saying a word. Her hand found his own and he laced his fingers with hers naturally, rubbing a comforting thumb across her knuckles. There was a half-hour to midnight and the end of the show. So when the ending credits began to play and the digital clock said 11:59 p.m., Maya let go of his hand, gave him a light peck, and watched the new morning come in before quietly saying, "Happy 18th, Boing," and heading to bed, slightly sad that they were once again three years apart.

She may have been hopeful, but Josh felt both hope and a sense of dread for all the pain they were about to put each other through, just by living their own individual lives. He touched his lips, the ghosting remembrance of her lips glancing over his. He was in so fucking deep.