Tweek Tweak and Craig Tucker walked down the street hand in hand. Out of the corner of his eye, Craig saw an older straight couple pointing at them and mouthing "aww"s at each other. He rolled his eyes and reached his free hand up into his favorite gesture. That sent the other couple quickly on their way. He still wasn't used to this whole situation with Tweek. Well, the money thing was nice. Both of them had been able to buy the new Terrance and Phillip game and new clothes. Tweek had needed that, he knew. Craig glanced at the other boy, and felt a twinge of fondness for him. Tweek had cleaned himself up quite a bit the last few months. His clothes were neater, and on some days it even appeared that he combed his hair.

They had become pretty close since being forced into this situation. Tweek was allowed to know things that other people weren't. He was trustworthy. He had even been allowed to meet Stripes the guinea pig. Although Craig was still afraid to let Tweek hold him. Small animals made Tweek jittery, and he didn't want Stripes to be dropped after a vigorous twitch. Tweek's hand was better when it was enclosed in Craig's. That way, he wouldn't cause any accidental damage or hurt himself. Craig was finding that he balanced out Tweek's anxiety with his lack of fucks given. He didn't care about much. Why care? Life was easier for him when he didn't care. Although he had to admit, he was starting to care about Tweek a little. Not in a gay way, of course. In a I-spend-all-my-waking-hours-with-you-for-money-so-we-may-as-well-be-friends kind of way. Tweek just did better when he was around. And it's hard to not care about people who are dependent on you.

South Park Elementary loomed up ahead of them. Craig sighed, knowing that he and Tweek still wouldn't be ignored. Sure enough, he saw Cartman off to the side staring at them.

"Oh my God, boo," he said to Heidi, holding his hands up to his mouth. "Look at Tweek and Craig. They are so cute. I just- I just can't even handle this, babe. I'm seriously."

Every goddamn day. Every fucking time. It never got old for Cartman. He was such a closeted douchebag. Why would a straight kid be so obsessed with a gay "relationship?"

Tweek's hand twitched in his own at the attention, and he muttered a soft "gAH, pressure!"

Craig squeezed his hand reassuringly, flipping off Cartman with the other, and Tweek calmed down again, walking with hardly any twitches. Craig was proud of how far he had come. Sometimes he made it full hours without twitching now.

"Hey, dudes," Token said. Token was one of the few guys that still talked to them like nothing had changed. Like the Asians hadn't made them gay. Craig loved him for it.

"Uh, hey, Token!" Tweek squeaked with a nervous smile, "Did you do the homework yet? I couldn't sleep, so I finished it all."

"No way, I was watching the Broncos game. It was brutal. I would have rather been doing the stupid homework," Token lamented.

"Oh, uh, I don't watch much football, but go Broncos-Gah!" Tweek said.

"Go Broncos," Craig repeated in a monotone voice. He didn't really care about football either, unless he was playing it. But Tweek looked great in his Broncos gear. He had a jersey that hung off him in all the right ways, accentuating his features and- no that sounded gay. He wasn't thinking it in a gay way, just in a friend way.

Token seemed pretty down. Craig thought about the girls' power play of breaking up with all of the guys in the school and felt like a hand was gripping his stomach for a second. He wasn't sure exactly why he cared, but he couldn't help but feel a little scared that Tweek might break up with him too. He seemed to agree with a lot of the girls' points. What if he sympathised with them too much? Although that would be good, he told himself. Then they could stop pretending to be a couple.

"How are you doing, man?" he asked, trying to distract his weird thoughts. "Nicole is a bitch for what she did to you. You deserve better." Token's face fell a little, and he looked up as if to stop himself from crying.

"I'm just fine. Just going to keep watching football and living my life without her. Even if I'm alone forever. Which I might be now. I've got to go," he said, and Craig heard a sob as he ran off towards the bathrooms.

Craig looked at Tweek. His face was scrunched up as if he were thinking hard. He looked more uneasy than usual.

"Seems like everyone's relationships are falling apart," Craig remarked, keeping his voice free of emotion.

"Yeah-Gah! Yeah they are. You won't leave me, will you, Craig? I mean, not that there is a me to leave or anything-aH sorry! But you know, you won't end this fake-AH thing, will you?" he looked at Craig anxiously, and he let go of Craig's hand to pull at his spiky blond hair with both fists. The brunette felt a wave of relief rush over him. Boy, that money must mean more to him than he originally thought for him to be so relieved that Tweek didn't want to end this… thing. The fake thing.

"No I won't end this… fake thing," Craig replied, and he saw Tweek visibly relax. The bell rang for classes to start, but they remained in the hallway. It was emptying out now.

"Good. Err-not that I care. But the money has been-aRgh, nice. I mean. New clothes and what not." Tweek trailed off, looking like he wanted to say something else. Craig stared into his eyes, noticing for the first time what a good color they were. Blue, that matched his Broncos jersey. He should tell Tweek to wear that more often. To bring out his eyes. Tweek wasn't twitching at all now. He was smiling up at Craig, leaning up against a locker. Craig felt the need to reassure him a little more; he liked seeing Tweek calm like this.

"Tweek, I like you," Craig said neutrally, "and I don't mind pretending to be gay with you because with you it doesn't feel like being gay. It just feels like being with you."

Tweek gave him a small grin at that.

"I like being with you too, Craig," he muttered. "I feel something with you. Something I've never felt before. You make me feel… brave. And-GAH- and other things." He trailed off, looking nervous again.

Craig felt a sudden weird urge. He wanted to kiss Tweek. He wasn't sure why. It was a weird feeling for him to be having. Probably just all the pressure from all of their peers and superiors to be gay. But he didn't like to suppress his urges. There was no one around to see them now. And this would just be pretend too, of course. It wouldn't like mean anything. He leaned down to where the blond was standing, pulling Tweek's hips up against his own and pressed his lips to Tweek's. Tweek let out a surprised "GAH," but then he returned the kiss. His lips were trembling a little, from excess caffeine or nerves, Craig wasn't sure. But he liked it. He stuck his tongue into Tweek's mouth, and let it meet Tweek's. Craig broke the kiss first and looked down at him.

"Helps us get in character," he explained. Tweek nodded shyly, and leaned up to kiss him again. This time they didn't stop. Craig was feeling Tweek's body with him up against the wall, feeling him trembling like a leaf underneath him, feeling himself give Tweek the stability to stay upright as they fell into each other. They only broke apart when they heard the threatening voice of PC Principal in the background, asking if they needed to have another talk about affirmative consent.