A/N: I KNOW right? I have baked and birthed a brand new human since last this updated. AND she's about to turn three months old. Yikes. That's quite a chunk of time. Sorry. The flow of this story throws me off, apparently. Thank you for your patience!

Carlisle woke with a quick intake of breath as a delicious tingle raced up his spine. He blinked, trying to orient himself with little luck. There was too much sensation. He was already coiled at his core—close to orgasm. A firm heat pressed up against his back. The tickle of light kisses dotted his shoulders interspersed with little nips that made him gasp.

Edward. His mind managed to cling to the one word. Edward was in his bed.

Because that was where he'd been when Carlisle drifted off to sleep. He'd been there because they'd done a dance down the hallway the night before. A graceless dance. Fumbling hands pulling and tugging at clothing; one of them pushing the other up against the wall for fervent kisses because they couldn't wait to reach the bedroom. He'd never smiled so hard as he cupped Edward's face in his hands. He couldn't remember feeling so connected to another person. He'd had sex, but this was different.

Last night, he'd lost himself inside Edward, pressing his legs back as he climbed on top of him. This morning, he let Edward push him onto his belly, twining their fingers together above his head as Edward moved inside him.

Sex used to be a means to an ends—a way to fill his desperate need for touch. Before Edward, it left him more empty than when he started. Slowly, though, Carlisle had the experiences he'd missed out on. The spectrum of sex with Edward had fun at one end and, like this morning, something more.

He was cresting a wave of pleasure when a thought hit him, knocking all the breath from his lungs.

He didn't deserve this. It was impossible that someone could touch him like this, take care of him. Bad father. Bad son. Bad. Wrong. His body tensed, the sensation of pleasure making his heart twist painfully in his chest.

"You feel so good, baby," Edward whispered, dropping kisses along the shell of his ear. "You're so good."

Carlisle sucked in a breath, letting the words sink in. He remembered what Edward told him so often. Sometimes, it didn't matter what the voice in his head said. Some things were what they were. Edward cared for him. He wanted to touch him like this, with tenderness and desire.

With that, Carlisle let go of thought again. His body relaxed, and he gave himself over entirely to experiencing this moment, feeling the way Edward filled him, set his skin on fire and sent electricity through his bloodstream.

If a man like Edward thought he was good, he couldn't possibly be that bad.

When they were both spent, it was minutes before Carlisle could move again. Not just because he was pinned. Edward was draped over his body, slick and heavy, panting in his ear. He liked the weight of him, his heat. He liked that there was no space at all between them.

He couldn't move because he was boneless, thoughtless. He was made of something content and happy.

He was so, so happy.

And terrified if he even breathed wrong, it would all blow away in the wind.

Edward moved first, rolling off him. They both rolled onto their sides. They didn't speak. Carlisle rested his hand on Edward's waist. Edward trailed his fingertips along Carlisle's arm, his touch and his look so tender, Carlisle had to swallow hard not to choke on the emotion it brought up in him.

His heartbeat stuttered when Edward's fingers found the long, thick scar on his left wrist. He closed his eyes—the only way he could hide.

He'd survived. That was supposed to be his punishment for what he'd done, how he'd failed his father and his son. He held his breath.

"I'm glad you're here with me," Edward said, his voice soft.

Carlisle let out a long, slow breath and moved to gather Edward in his arms. "I am too," he admitted.

~0~

For hours, days, weeks at a time, life no longer felt like a punishment.

Edward coaxed Carlisle to go back to Disneyland a couple more times as the months passed. It still felt odd to be there as an adult, but he had to admit he enjoyed it.

"This place has moods," Edward said as they reached Main Street. He twined his fingers through Carlisle's, his head turned up as he looked around. "Have you noticed that?"

Carlisle tried to ignore the simultaneous thrill and nervous energy that went through him at Edward's simple gesture. He looked around, self-conscious, and swallowed hard. "I'm not here nearly as much as you are." Though he had noticed that, even from the adults, the atmosphere at Disneyland was oddly tranquil. Oh, sure, here and there you could find the odd exasperated parent and a child mid-meltdown, but most of the people in the park were having fun.

"In the summer, there's a buzz around this place."

"Bees, I would think."

Edward smirked and nudged him. "I mean that everyone is more excited. Hyper. And during October...I don't know how to explain it. People just seemed more mischievous?" He shook his head and gestured at the huge Christmas tree that stood at the entrance to Main Street. "Now, I feel more nostalgic maybe? I don't know the word for it. Just that it feels warm and comfortable and peaceful to be here now."

"Christmas magic," Carlisle mused. The street was lined with Christmas decorations. The windows were painted with snowy scenes. The scent of cinnamon was heavy in the air. He breathed in deep, more of the anxiety easing.

He had to admit Edward was right. There was something peaceful about being here now when the summer heat had finally faded. Though he wasn't sure how much of it was Disneyland at Christmastime versus being here with the man at his side.

"Hey, guys."

Carlisle and Edward turned as Bella came trotting up. Carlisle choked on a laugh when he saw what she was holding—a turkey leg almost the size of her head. "Are you eating that?" he couldn't help but ask.

She quirked an eyebrow. "I considered using it as a weapon, but they frown on bludgeoning people with poultry here. Might as well eat it."

They all decided on an early dinner from the carts. Edward opted for a chimichanga—which was also obscenely large—and Carlisle got a hot dog. They settled on a bench, talking and laughing at Bella's attempts to eat the ginormous turkey leg without making a greasy mess of her face. They talked about her burgeoning relationship with Eleazar and her (feigned) jealousy over the fact he and Carlisle met every couple of weeks for movie night.

"You're intimidatingly pretty," Bella claimed, mock-scowling at him.

Carlisle followed amiably as they road Star Tours and Buzz Lightyear's Astroblasters. He joined Edward in his quest to get their teacup to spin at top speed as Bella screamed at them both to stop, cackling at the top of her lungs. And as evening turned into full-fledged night, he joined them indoors for hot chocolate and candied apples.

"What are you thinking about?" Edward asked when they were driving home.

Carlisle sighed, a little nervous. "I was thinking you do a lot of nice things for me, sharing your work perks." He paused a beat, but then said what he'd been thinking about for the last couple of weeks. "I was wondering if you might want to go with me to the Christmas party at my work."

Edward sucked in a breath. "A Christmas party."

"They cater it, I think. A nice buffet-style dinner. Chocolate fountain. Two free drinks at the bar."

"Is there dancing?"

Carlisle's cheeks flushed and he had to stop himself from grinning at the idea. "I don't know, honestly. I've never been."

Edward paused. "You've never gone...but you want to go now?" With me, he didn't say.

"Might be fun."

"Yeah. Yes. Let's do it."

~0~

When he heard a few of the nurses in his unit talking, Carlisle didn't think anything about chiming in. They were talking about the songs they were going to request from the DJ, and he was distracted when he spoke.

"So there is dancing," he said, head bent over the paperwork he was filling out for their newest patient.

It took him a few seconds to realize the small space was suddenly bathed in silence. He raised his head and found the others staring at him, eyes wide. Self-consciousness made his skin prickle.

"You're going to the Christmas party?" Esme, a nurse around his age, asked.

"I...yes?" He didn't know why it had come out like a question.

The other two nurses, Siobhan and Maggie, looked at each other and laughed. Carlisle wracked his brain, trying to figure out what he had done wrong. Was there some kind of faux pas? Was he, as a man, not supposed to be interested in Christmas parties? What would his father have to say about it? Frivolous, probably, but why would that bother them if they were going, presumably bringing their significant others too?

"Sorry." Esme touched his shoulder briefly, looking abashed. "It's just that you've never been to the Christmas party."

"Or any of the other parties," Siobhan said.

"Oh." Carlisle rubbed the back of his neck. He remembered, then, how the other nurses had asked him out over the years. Not in a romantic way, but the others socialized on occasion. He'd been invited to drinks several times. People asked if he was going to the Christmas party or the summer picnic or whatever event the others were attending. His answer had always been no.

"So…" Maggie plopped down in the chair next to him, smiling brightly, her expression too innocent. "You're interested in dancing?"

His cheeks flushed hot, and he averted his gaze. The women cackled. "You have a date?" Siobhan guessed.

"I…" He straightened his shoulders. He refused to be ashamed of Edward. He didn't deserve that after all he'd been through. "Yeah. Yes."

"That's good." Esme squeezed his shoulder again. "That's so good. We were worried about you."

He arched an eyebrow. "You were?"

"You've never been a chatty Cathy, Carlisle, but the last couple of years?" Maggie patted his knee.

"But you've looked so much happier recently. This is why, right?" Siobhan asked. "Your date?"

"Tell us about her," Maggie said. "Or him?"

Carlisle pressed his tongue to the roof of his mouth and breathed in and out, his eyes darting between the three women. "Him," he said quietly.

Maggie snapped. "Knew it."

Carlisle smiled wryly. "That's the normal assumption for a man in my profession."

Esme scoffed. "Ah, I'm afraid not in this case. We didn't suspect one way or another until you gave yourself away."

"What are you talking about?"

Siobhan's grin was full of glee. "A few years ago an insanely attractive, charming guy came in? You were stumbling over your feet just like the rest of us." She sighed, her eyes gone dreamy. "So handsome. And that accent. You know I love a man with an accent."

Esme rolled her eyes, but her smile was genuine. "Yes, dear. We know you love your husband's accent."

"Liam?" Carlisle asked, his voice almost squeaky. "You're talking about Liam?"

"We're talking about how you were lusting after my now-husband just like the rest of us." Siobhan wagged a teasing finger in his face. "But there are more interesting things to talk about than my husband. He's old news. Let's hear about this date of yours."

~0~

"I didn't realize," he told Esme some days later when she coaxed him into accompanying her to lunch. "That any of you thought about me at all outside of interacting for work purposes."

"Of course we did. Carlisle, we've worked together for so many years. We're a family." Esme sighed, her eyes pinched at the corners. "You've always been a hard man to read. Quiet. And after you lost your son, your father… of course, we would expect you to be withdrawn. But we did worry that you weren't okay."

Carlisle considered her for a few beats. "I wasn't."

"But you're doing better now?"

He had to smile. "Getting there, I think." The words were a revelation to himself.

~0~

"Good god."

Carlisle stepped outside the door to his room and came to a halt, his mouth going dry. He ran a hand over his face, taking in the sight in front of him.

Edward ducked his head, hiding a smirk. He crossed the hall, coming to stand before Carlisle. "Don't look at me like that," he said, his voice low and rough around the edges. He took another step and tilted his head so his lips were near Carlisle's ear. "If you look at me like you want to rip my clothes off, we're never going to make it to this party."

Carlisle caught Edward by the hips before he pulled away. He let his eyes drift down, drinking in the sight of him. He sighed. "It's obscene how good you look all dressed up."

"Obscene?" Edward rested his hands on Carlisle's chest, palms flat. "Are you saying I need censoring?"

"Censoring?" Carlisle laughed, trailing his hands up and down Edward's sides. "I was going to ask you how you propose I go about censoring you, but then I realized how ridiculous that sounded. I'm never going to be smooth, I suppose."

Edward laughed. "That's corny as hell," he confirmed, and then he kissed Carlisle sweetly. "Come on," he said with a contented sigh as their kiss broke. "You promised me a Christmas party."

"I did." He dropped his hand to take Edward's. "Now would probably be a good time to warn you about my coworkers."

"The ones who have an intimate knowledge of how to remove my blood from my body?"

"Not all of it. And anyway, this is a no-needles-allowed party."

"Oh, good." He grinned, full of cheek, and put his hand over Carlisle's on the shifter. "How about sponge baths? I've heard nurses are good at those."

"Wouldn't you like to know."

"I would."

Carlisle's pants were getting tight. He was beginning to rethink this Christmas party idea for more than the usual reason. "Never mind. I'll let you walk into the lion's den unprepared."

"Wait, what? What lions? What den?"

Carlisle chuckled and pressed down on the gas. He was more eager than he could have imagined to spend the night with this man and his friends.

~Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs: Social~

The third tier of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs have to do with love and belonging—the need for family, friendship, and a sense of connection to other people. The need for emotional intimacy.