A/N: It has been WAY too long since I last wrote a short comedy fic! Enjoy!
The Day of Freeza's Return:
Freeza was back, and all of the Z fighters had gathered to combat the greatest evil of all time, together…well almost. The group of old friends and new comrades standing before the Galactic Emperor's spacecraft, Vegeta aside, there was one glaring absence from their dream team of the Earth.
"So why again didn't you bring Eighteen along?..." Piccolo asked the newly clean shaven man several feet to his left. Things for the Z fighters weren't exactly going as planned, not that ANY plan could really go well with a resurgent Freeza on the loose, not to mention his massive army, BUT they WOULD be going just a little better if they had brought all of their best fighters…and not…
Looking over at the green space man, Krillin just gave him a weird look, to him it was obvious why Eighteen wasn't there, it was the same reason Goku didn't bring Chi-Chi after all. "Uhh… because she's my wife…" he said, still perplexed by the Namekian's question, "…and I don't want her to get hurt…"
?! "…uh…I…how?..." A green brow muscle rising along with his irritation levels, Piccolo was silent for a moment as he tried to find a way to tell the little bald man just HOW stupid what he'd just said was…as several long seconds passed, it soon became obvious that this was impossible for the alien fighter, but luckily enough there was one person who COULD say just what he was thinking.
And that…was Tien. "You DO realize that the wife you told to stay home is one hundred times stronger than you, right?" The tall triclops giving Krillin the most discerning three eyed stare of his life, the bald headed student of the Turtle School just tried to play it off just like he always did. "Oh, c'mon, guys!" He spread out his arms and opened his hands as he looked around amongst his gathered friends and comrades, "….You know I'm not like THAT, right?"
Six dots in a pattern moving quickly back and forth as he turned his head one way and then another to see if he was getting through to them, it seemed he might have been… "I think that just because Eighteen has boobs, you wouldn't let her come." Tien crossed his arms with a scowl, staring directly at the sweat dropping bald man, the z warrior obviously flustered by that last accusation.
"Wa…wait…but…but, guys…" Stuttering up a storm, Krillin's neck seemed almost to lock up, the poor little man stuck returning the gaze of the accusatory triclops as the elephant in the room was called out for what it was. Were the z fighters really that bad that they wouldn't allow a mighty fighter like Eighteen to combat the greatest threat the galaxy had ever known just because she was a girl?…Or was there some saving grace to prove it all wrong? The wind blowing past the silent crowd of fighters, time came to an abrupt halt as the last person who should have spoken finally decided to contribute, the one person EVERYONE knew was more qualified to comment on the female sex than anyone…
Yamcha.
Running over from where he had been standing on the outskirts of the group, Yamcha may not have been anywhere near the power level of his newer fellows, and while another glaring example of a weaker fighter than Eighteen being allowed to participate, he DID have a valuable point to make. "Hey, guys! Hold on a second!" He yelled, panting as he sprinted over to the main group, all attention turning at once to him, "…You can't all gang up on Krillin like that!" The scarred man looked around them, Krillin beaming happily at his old friend for defending him, "…He didn't stop Eighteen from coming to the fight just because she has boobs!" Eyes moving from one fighter to the next, he pumped his fists as he continued, "…I mean…he didn't stop BULMA from coming and c'mon, she has a really nice pair!" Grinning as he pointed over to the short haired bluenette, the others quickly followed, all eyes centering on one…er…two specific parts of her anatomy.
Bulma had been minding her own business up until now, between glaring at Freeza and trying to figure out a plan to end this whole mess as quickly as possible, she had been doing important work and could NOT be distracted…that was until those words were said, 'Bulma has a nice pair.' Looking up from where she'd been trying to get into contact with her Dad, Bulma at first saw all the males around her staring at her…but as her eyes followed their gaze, she quickly realized it was not HER they were looking at…but instead the rather large globes spilling out of her shirt… "Hey, guys…what are you talking?..." Her own cerulean orbs lowering to land on her abundant pale cleavage as it wobbled slightly in the opening of her shirt, she suddenly wrapped her arms over her chest, her startled face soon becoming angry as she yelled at the men. "Hey! Quit staring at my, breasts! Okay? Don't we have better things to worry about than my body!?"
"Heh! I bet they haven't changed at all in the twenty years since I last saw them, eh, Bulma?" Yamcha smiled impishly, the look of sheer disgust on his former girlfriend's face putting him down instantly.
The guys all seeing the way she was looking at him…and all of them, it didn't take them long to realize what they had been doing, not that ogling Bulma Brief was such a weird thing to catch a male doing just from looking at her, they each couldn't help turning their heads to the side, looking away from the curvy bluenette in shame as a pink blush spread over their cheeks. The genius, her cleavage still obscured by her arms, still kept herself on high alert though, looking from man to man, waiting for one of them to make another wise ass comment. "Aww, it's alright, Bulma…" a new voice joining in on the rather interesting conversation, Bulma felt her angry expression lessen as Goku walked over to her, the man who as a boy she started that first great adventure with by her side again. "…you shouldn't be mad…" he grinned, placing one innocent, caring hand on her shoulder as she looked up at him, her arms uncrossing from over her chest, "…Yamcha's right! Your boobies are VERY nice and we are happy to have them here with us!" His other hand offering the red faced woman a strong thumbs up, the other Z warriors just nodded their heads in agreement; indeed, Bulma's were VERY nice.
Her face the same color as a newly ripened raspberry, the Capsule Corp. heiress simply took in one breath, letting her lungs fill with clean air as her small fists balled at her sides, forgetting what breathing so slowly and deeply did to the focus(s) of the battle. That breath fully in, her girls giving just a slight wobble as they pulled upward, cleavage drawing back as her body tightened, she let the air out…in a colossal roar. "WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU GUYS!?" She screamed, her petite feminine body suddenly seeming to be monstrous compared to the thick muscular frames of her male companions, her head the size of a planet, "…WE'RE FIGHTING FREEZA! FREEZA! WHY IN THE NAME OF THAT FUCKING GREEN GUY IN THE SKY ARE YOU ALL TALKING ABOUT MY BOOBS?!"
The wind flailing against their skin as the woman continued on her rant, no one noticed the much smaller gust of wind behind them. "AND ANOTHER THING!" Bulma yelled, still not done, "…I AM SICK AND TIRED OF YOU GUYS ACTING LIKE YOU'RE THE ONLY ONES WHO CAN SAVE THE WORLD! I KNOW FOR A FACT EIGHTEEN IS STRONGER THAN HALF OF YOU AND YET SHE ISN'T EVEN HERE!" The whirlwind reaching a fevered pitch, Bulma could see from the looks on the guys' faces she had just about made her point, now was to drive it home "…I BET THAT IF YOU LET ONE TRY, A WOMAN COULD DO JUST AS MUCH AS YOU GUYS DO! HELL, SHE COULD EVEN GET RID OF FREEZ—" The blue haired beauty turned banshee suddenly falling silent, the rest of the Z fighters just stared at the dumbfounded expression on her face, their eyes following her gaze just as hers had earlier, instead of being drawn to her abundant white cleavage, they saw…nothing…right where Freeza's ship had been.
"He…left?..."
The sounds of half a dozen jaws hitting the ground as they realized that Bulma had been right, the rest of their bodies soon fell with them as the beauty who had defeated Freeza once and for all spoke up. "See boys?..." Bulma grinned, crossing her arms under her chest as she spoke, "…I guess you really SHOULD let girls come to your battles…" The force that had been assembled to fight Freeza scattered across the battlefield, down, but without a single punch having been thrown, all that was left was Gohan, the young man simply shaking his head at the others. "And they tease me about Videl bossing me around…"
That Night, Capsule Corp. Bulma's Bathroom:
"Ahhh…now THAT is what I call a shower…" Bulma sighed, the blue haired vixen slowly stepping out of her multi-million zeni shower, water droplets fell down over her porcelain skin as she gently rubbed a fluffy pink towel over her body. "I really showed them today…" the woman grinned as she looked down at her natural curves, her flat belly and shapely hips looking back at her, she felt a smirk tug at her lips as those cerulean eyes of hers landed on THE focus of the day.
"Who said a girl needed to have double Ds to get a guy's attention?..." Bulma said with an air of pride to herself as she walked out of her private bathroom, eyes closed with her small hands rubbing her towel around in her short blue locks, carefully drying them so she would look just as beautiful in sleep as every other moment of the day, "…All a girl needs is a nice pair of thirty four Cs and even the strongest men in the universe are putty in your hands…maybe next time they'll think twice before not letting Eighteen come because of her body."
A small gust of cool air flowing over the woman's naked body, Bulma opened up those deep, powerful cerulean eyes of hers, those lovely blue irises instantly shrinking at what…or who she saw sitting on her bed. His eyes the size of dinner plates, Goku just stared at her, his jaw slamming into the bedspread as Bulma Brief stood completely naked before him.
"Go…ku?..." Her towel fluttering down from atop her head, Bulma's arms stayed up in the air, her hands still messing with her wet hair as Goku got the full frontal view of a LIFETIME! The saiyan man's dark eyes centering on what every man had been talking about that day, he smiled as Bulma's large pale boobs gave a slight jiggle as their owner tensed up, her light pink nipples hardening in the cold. "So Yamcha was right!..." Goku beamed, his eyes never once moving from Bulma's soft naked globes "...in twenty years they haven't changed at all!"
Her eyes still the size of pin pricks, Bulma slowly looked down, her blue eyes traveling over endless miles of naked feminine flesh, her perfect creamy curves exposed to her best friend who was mere feet away. 'Goku…he…he saw…' Those cerulean gems of hers shutting as she at last realized that her best friend was ogling her melons like a teenager peering into a girl's dorm, the rich heiress slowly moved one hand down to cover the freshly shaved sex her friend had undoubtedly gotten an eyeful of…and then squished the other around her prized assets. Those beautiful eyes of hers opening up wide, the look of burning vengeance in them was enough to make Goku loose the growing hard on he'd had from seeing Bulma naked and flounder back across the room in fear, '…HE SAW EVERYTHING!'
"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"
The naked female's screams of righteous fury traveling across the planet, chasing an unfortunate saiyan the whole way, eventually made their way into outer space before overtaking a familiar flying saucer. A koala like alien frantically pressing every button on his keyboard, his lord was soon right behind him, his long tail making dents in the floor as he gritted his teeth in terror. Turning around slightly to see what his commander wanted of him, Sorbet was met by the same words Krillin was as Goku passed him on the highway, the super saiyan and galactic emperor having only one thing to say about what had sent them running.
"Don't look back; just run!"
A/N: HAHAHA! So how was that? A little pervy I know, but it came to me on my way to work so I jotted down a few notes and BOOM here is a fic! XD I am a HUGE Bulma fan as you all well know and love having her appear naked in front of Goku who I ship her with. This was just a fun, ecchi and VERY life changing fic for Goku that I wanted to share with you all! Please leave a REVIEW and let me know what you thought of this and if there are any other DB or DBZ related mini fics you'd like to see! Take care!