Dick fidgeted in his seat, excited and nervous as they got closer to their rural destination. Wally was beside him in the backseat, on his phone saying, "yes mom, okay mom, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay love you too; bye, bye, bye, yes I know, okay bye."

Farm fields flew by them, with Aunt Iris at the wheel and Barry sitting shotgun. They were both laughing at Wally once he finally hung up with his mom. The sulking was to be expected.

"Alright boys, now listen up," Iris said after a moment; "Remember the rules, and don't do anything to compromise yourself. That includes your civilian identity, Dick. Wally, you know the ropes, help him out. Now I know that deep down you two are not total idiots, so be smart, be polite, and try not to feel overwhelmed. Wally, you are familiar with only a handful of the relatives here; don't hide in the attic with the other kids alright, it's a family reunion, so UNITE a little, okay? Dick, there are people here who are well past their 80's, so don't be giving any heart attacks by climbing onto the barn roof."

Wally and Dick both said, "Okay Aunt Iris," at the same time.

"So your mom is already there?" Dick asked Wally.

"Ya, she always gets there 2 days ahead of time to help get everything ready. And dad arrived yesterday with the gran and gramps, and according to them we are pretty much the last to arrive. Are we making it too obvious that we don't want to go?"

"Wally," Iris scolded

"Come on Aunt Iris, you hate this just as much as I do. Look me in the eye and tell me you don't hate these things."

"Wallace, I can't look you in the eye because I am driving and would prefer not to make the reunion into a funeral by dying in a car crash."

"See, told ya, couldn't do it." Wally smarted off, making the adults roll their eyes.

Wally then imitated a high pitched voice, going, "oh Iris honey it's so wonderful to see you! Are you thinking about children anytime soon? Oh your hair hasn't changed one bit, you should do something nice with it! How is Barry? Is he still at his old job? He spends too much time away from home if you ask me. We should get together more often darling!"

Iris and Wally kept continued to make the drive entertaining with their banter as the farm scenery passed them by. Dick was just really happy he was able to convince Bruce to let him come along.

He'd never been to anything like this before, so even though Wally dreaded family reunions with every fiber of his being, Dick was looking forward to a guaranteed crazy experience. It took some prep though, getting ready; couldn't come as Richard Grayson, after all. Which was why he had dyed his hair blonde and gave it a slightly spiky style, wore green contact lenses, discreetly used makeup to make his facial features appear sharper than what they were, and just for extra precaution, had glasses on as well. The latter might seem like a weak attempt at disguise, but it apparently worked for Superman.

After they'd taken care of Dicks appearance, Wally had begun to worry about the story. He figured it'd be fine for Dicks name to be Rick while they were there, made slip ups more avoidable and easier to cover up. However, the main issue Wally saw was what was Dick doing there. Basically, family reunions consisted of blood relations, spouses, offspring, and of course the future additions to the family, which weren't official yet so are called boyfriends/girlfriends. Cause seriously. Who else has any business being there?

Now while Wally usually found it amusing when people mistook him and Dick as a couple, he did NOT like the idea of his entire extended family thinking him and Dick were an item.

Not. Cool.

So they'd just decided to mix things up, and every time someone would ask, they would tell them that Dick was Wally new adopted brother. Or was aunt iris's secret child. Or had showed up in a basket on grans doorstep when he was 7 years old and she'd been quietly raising him since then. Or he was a foreign exchange student and only spoke German. (Or he'd been living under the porch and accidentally ate the rat poison they left out and they felt bad about it so took him in. Or they hired him to paint the mailbox and he had agreed to as long as they pay for his meals and overnight expenses. He was mute. Wally's amateur internet stalker. Time traveler, aka Wally's future grandson.

The idea with the story was to go big or go home, so they were going to go as big as possible cause Wally damn well wanted to go home.

Iris had gotten the upper hand and last laugh in the argument with Wally, so the speedster 2.0 was pouting and complaining about how long it took to get there.

The entire reason they reunion was held out in the country was because it was really the only place big enough for such a large gathering. Apparently it was Wally's great aunts place they were headed to, with several acres, a huge house, a beautiful gothic barn, a machine shed, plus a few smaller miscellaneous building and garages.

"The house isn't big enough for everyone to sleep though," Wally told him, "so since it's a two day affair, some relatives get a hotel, a handful bring campers, they have us kids sleep in either the basement, attic, or the barn. Now the hayloft in the barn has a bunch of raccoons up there and they're mean so we don't go there, the basement is haunted and you know homey don't play that, so that really just leaves the attic which used to be a bedroom so it's nice, but is used a bit for storage now, and of course for us to lay our weary heads to rest. During family reunions, at least. So I hope you don't mind sleeping on the floor dude; I mean, I know you're used to sleeping on a double decker super duper downy California king sized luxury machine mattress."

"Shut up, West,"

"Yes your majesty."

About 30 minutes and a few road games later Iris announced in an overly cheerful voice, "We're here!", and they pulled into a gravel driveway.

"...Where's the house?" Dick asked, looking at the pasture around them as they drove.

"Behind that big grove of trees," Wally informed him, pointing ahead of them.

"...is she a recluse?" Dick asked, puzzled.

"Yep."

"But...she hosts the family reunion?"

"Yep."

"It's how she stays on top of the gossip of what's going on in everybody's life, that's her way of staying busy." Iris explained.

"So a nosy recluse."

"Yes."

"Isn't that some kind of oxymoron?"

"Dick, you'd best prepare yourself for a lot of morons, cause we've officially, arrived," she replied; they'd turned the corner around the trees, revealing a beautiful Victorian style farm house, a red and white gothic barn, and a smattering of other buildings here and there as well, just as expected...

Plus one might mention the cars and campers, at least 25 of them (mostly cars) everywhere. The adults were outside talking in groups around tables full of food, some were rushing in and out of the house, and others walking from one building to another, while a posse of kids ran across the front porch. The age ranges differed, and the oldest seemed to have separated themselves from the others; they were sitting nearby on some low hanging tree branches.

Dick suddenly had a bout of butterflies in his stomach. They parked amid the chaos and climbed out of the car; Wally looked like he was ready to super speed on out of there, and Dick was suddenly half tempted to ride piggyback. Shaking the feeling, he walked bedside Wally as they followed Iris and Barry.

Several ladies immediately flocked around Iris, hugging her and whatnot. He heard someone say, "oh Iris honey it's so wonderful to see you!", but knew way better than to bring it up to Iris. He then saw Wally's mom wave from the front porch; a handful of kids noticed, and followed her line of sight. In the blink of an eye Wally was mobbed by 4 toddlers, ranging from around 3 to 6 years old; hugging his legs and pulling his arms, they loudly demanded that he pick them all up.

"Hogtie him, guys!" one of the older teens sitting on branch yelled, which prompted another one to call out.

"Hey Walls, who's your boyfriend?!"

Well we all knew that was coming, Lol. Should I have just named it We're Not a couple 2. 0, haha