"What's… this?!" Caboose asked excitedly when his teammates handed him a very large and heavy box though he lifted it with ease. "Is it my birthday?"

His teammates just sighed. Only Caboose would not know when his own birthday was, but at this point, they just weren't surprised. In fact, it was almost expected of the Blue to say something way off the mark. They watched him shake it; something rattled inside. "I wonder what it is?" He said aloud in that odd singsong voice of his.

"Better hope that thing ain't breakable in there, Caboose!" Sarge said, but they all cringed when the Blue shook it even harder.

"Wow, he's even dumber that I thought," Grif said in awe at Caboose's simplicity.

Another shake. "Is it a lava lamp?" Caboose questioned. "I've always wanted one of those…"

"I bet it's something that'll really spruce up the place!" Donut exclaimed, looking around the dull base. "I think we need to make it a little homier. Don't you?"

"Shut up, Donut." Grif sighed in frustration.

"Oh, what could it be!" Caboose got a little too excited, and everyone cringed when whatever was in the box really bounced around.

"Caboose!" Tucker finally snapped even though he told himself to stay calm. Even Church and Wash were doing better than he was. "Just open the damn box already!"

"Well if it wasn't broken before, it definitely is now," Simmons remarked as Caboose dropped it to the ground and started tearing the paper off.

"Actually, you'd be surprised," Church answered.

"Oh, yeah?" Grif sounded far from impressed.

"I had it custom made. It's damn near indestructible," Wash stated.

"But it could still be destroyed." Simmons pointed out the obvious.

"We made it Caboose-proof," Tucker spoke up this time.

"Is that even possible?" Sarge asked, remembering Caboose's tendencies of killing his own teammates. The guy had a longer kill list than anyone except maybe the Freelancers.

"Normally, I'd say no, but I think we might have on this one," Wash answered.

They all watched Caboose rip open the box, and out popped the head of a golden retriever. "It's a puppy!" Caboose yelled happily.

"You got him… an animal," Grif said slowly, trying to process the situation. "You know you just signed its death certificate, right?"

"You guys must really hate dogs," Simmons shook his head.

"Don't worry," said Church, "it's Caboose-proof, remember?"

Wash stood proudly. "It's a robot made of the strongest metals. It'll never break and doesn't need to be fed or anything."

"It's adorable!" Donut looked just as happy as Caboose.

"Wouldn't that weigh hundreds of pounds?" Simmons just stared at the dog.

Tucker shrugged. "Caboose was always weirdly strong anyway."

"But that's not even the best part," said Wash. "Caboose, tell it to speak."

Looking between his friends and the dog, Caboose asked, "Puppy, could you maybe speak for me?"

The dog's eyes lit up at the command. "Bark." It was an unusually low and unenthusiastic voice.

"Is that…"

"It can't be."

"Well Grif'll be damned."

"FRECKLES!" Caboose yelled happily, hugging the robotic dog tightly. "You're a real dog now! We can go on walks and play fetch, and cuddle! Oh, oh! And you'll actually fit in the clothes now! We are going to have the most awesomest time together." He rubbed his face into the surprisingly warm, fluffy fur.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but you Blues did good."