Dear Teddy,

I wish I understood, mum says you're an angel now, I know you're shining bright because the stars always look brighter now. You've been gone for two years now and my therapist suggested I write to you, I don't really know if it will help, if it does great and if it doesn't…. well it's not like you're going to read it.

I was ten when you died, I'm twelve now and mum finally told me how you died. They said that you died in a robbery, a selfish man attacked you when you tried to stop him attacking a shop assistant. I decided to look it up and all the news articles said you were a hero, you weren't. You were my sister.

You missed Toby's tenth birthday, yea he's double digits now, when he blew out his candles he wished that he could see you once again. He doesn't really remember you, he said that he barely remembers what happens on a day to day basis, never mind what happened when he was eight. He still made us visit your grave, I don't know how he did it but he got PJ to go too.

Speaking of PJ, do you know he hasn't spoken about you anymore? He speaks to Gabe if we ask Gabe about you but not to us. I get angry about it but Gabe explained to me that you two were always close… it was worse for him than it was for the rest of us. He's been in counselling for a couple of years too, it was like he stopped living when you died. I mean Skylar helps him, she makes him smile. They're married now, I don't know if you know since you're dead but they got married. An hour before his wedding he disappeared, turned up just in time. I overheard him talking to Gabe, he'd gone to your grave.

Spencer went completely off the rails, I don't know about most of it but I know that his parents sent him somewhere to get sorted, I know Pj and Gabe and mum still keep in contact with him and he always sends us birthday cards.

Gabe is doing really well, he celebrated his twenty second birthday last month and set up the Teddy Duncan foundation, yes that's right a foundation completely dedicated to you. It basically raises money to increase security for stores. I'm proud of him Teddy, he's got a job, a girlfriend and he's happy. Something this family hasn't had in a while.

Mum and dad are okay I suppose, they're still together but mum broke after you died, she didn't know but I could hear her crying herself to sleep a night. Dad took up boxing, he gets angry sometimes, he snaps easier. He's better now, he's happy and so is mum. It's like their finally moving on.

I, on the other hand can't. I watch your good luck Charlie videos on repeat and every night I kiss your picture. How can I move on? You were my big sister, my protector and friend. You were meant to be here to talk about boys and beat up any of my bullies, to talk to me about what I couldn't talk to mum about. I'm the only girl now and it hurts, it hurts so, so much because of you. If you hadn't been so selfless then you would still be here.

So I hope you're at peace in heaven Teddy because I'm not because I miss you and the guy that killed you is still breathing.

I hope you're okay up there

With love,
you're little sister,
Charlotte Charlie Duncan.