It started with a fight.

He had butted in again to a dispute between her and an uncouth junk master, for he had been sure that she did not see his left arm swinging towards her. The moment he had blocked it, however, she slammed into him, clearly having anticipated the move.

Upon seeing what he had done, she slammed into him again to push him away.

"Go away," she hissed. Ren slunk back and gazed at the duo darkly. He wanted the slimy Abednedo's blood on his hands for threatening Rey, but she was protective of her fights. And she was good at them. Only a few minutes later, the fight was over and the junk master was unconscious at her feet.

Rey swiped the key from the creature's person that unlocked the bin of rations. She brushed past Ren without word, but he could feel her anger. In fact, she only got a few steps before whirling around on him.

"How dare you, you stupid, arrogant idiot! Why do you insist on butting in on everything like I can't handle myself!"

Ren drew himself up to his full height. "I was trying to lend a hand!" He argued.

She laughed in his face. "You thought I'd miss his shot."

The tips of his ears burned. "I won't let you get hurt."

A flush had risen to her cheeks. "I don't need your help. I've survived on my own for almost fifteen years!"

"I've seen your body, you're riddled with scars," he bit back.

She reared back, something in her eyes that hurt him. "I don't want you here. I don't want you here!" She screamed.

"I only want to keep you safe!" He roared.

She swung her head back towards him, and he was shocked to see that her eyes were full of tears. "You haven't changed a bit! You never care about what I want, never listen to me! I never asked for this, any of this!"

Her words struck him silent and he swallowed. The rough cloth of his desert attire did nothing to warm the chill that ran down his spine.

"I didn't—" he began.

"No," she interrupted. "You didn't."

They gazed at each other for a long time, both broken pieces. Finally, Ren spoke.

"I want…what you want," he tried. "Do you want me to…go away?"

Displeasure flickered across her features. After a long moment, she answered, "No."

He sighed relief, and she pointed her staff at him until it poked him in the chest. "Don't you dare do it again. I handle my own fights."

He nodded slowly and she began to walk back towards the village. "Come on," she sighed.

That night they sat in silence. He tried not to watch her as she ate—she didn't like him watching her. But she was beautiful in the firelight as she licked the oil off her fingers from their roasted game. Her lips shone in the soft light, almost as much as her hazel eyes did.

"Come here," she said.

He stared at her, chest tightening. But he was hers, and he came closer and sat down a few feet from her.

Her eyes rolled. "Closer."

"Rey—"

"Don't," she said. "Listen to what I want."

Hands tied in the matter, he sat next to her as she requested. She turned to be able to look him in the eyes.

"Will you continue doing all this if I die?" She asked.

Startled, he drew back. "Don't say things like that."

"Will you?"

He paused. "Yes." He would avenge her, and then carry on her desire. But he would not think any further of the terrible matter.

She seemed appeased. "What happened to power?" She asked. "What happened to strength and ruling the galaxy?"

You happened. He brushed that away. "My priorities changed," he said shortly and she fell quiet.

"Today, if I had told you to leave again, would you have?"

"…Yes."

"Why?"

He drew his knees up and laid his arms across them. As he stared into the fire, he said, "I must atone for my actions. I would like to just keep you from being harmed or hurt. But if it makes you unhappy…"

She waited, but he could not continue.

"What does my happiness matter if you seek self-retribution?"

He gave her a sharp look. "Why would you assume they do not go hand in hand?"

Her face set hard, she answered: "Because they don't. If you are looking for forgiveness, you can go. I have already forgiven you."

Stricken, he asked, "Is this your way of telling me to leave after all?"

She frowned and curled up her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them.

"No, but if that's all you're here for then go."

He was confused, she spoke in riddles sometimes. He swallowed hard as he began to understand, or at least think he understood.

"I…am not only here for that," he admitted softly. "You know I care for you."

Her eyes caught his. "Then why do you protest when I want you close?"

He did not want to discuss this. "Because I will never…I wronged you in that way, and I would never…I…"

"I see," she said.

Suddenly Rey sat up and faced him fully. She placed a hand on his arm.

"What if it's what I want?"

His eyes narrowed. "Rey."

"I'm serious."

He shook his head and moved his arm away, but she grabbed his hand.

"Listen to me."

He met her eyes.

"I see a thoughtful, sad man who has followed me all around the desert just to make up for something that wasn't entirely your fault. You cared for me before, and you care for me now. I have healed from what has happen. I have forgiven. It is you who has not."

"I could never forgive myself," Ren snapped, but she was not deterred.

"Why? Why was it so unforgivable?"

He scoffed. "It is an unforgivable action," he said sternly. "My mother…I was raised right in that matter. I knew what I was doing and that it was…awful. But I still did. And it is even more terrible to do it to someone you love."

For a moment, he didn't realize what he said. But when he did, he swung his head, wide-eyed to find her gazing at him with a little smile.

"I'm sorry," he apologized. She shook her head.

"Let me have my say," she asked quietly. "Kiss me."

She leaned in, hands on his knees but he stopped her.

"I won't hurt you again," he told her.

"Then don't," she replied.

Their lips met softly, and at first he didn't move. But then he gave in, a hand coming up to cradle her cheek and lips moving with hers. His knees fell away and she came even closer into his lap, like she belonged there.

His free arm encircled her waist as his other cupped her head. She moved her lips to kiss down his neck and he shuddered.

"Rey," he said warningly.

"It's alright," she replied.

The flames in front of them were nothing compared to those inside. She stripped him of his shirt and kissed his shoulder softly before laying her head down there.

For a long moment, he just held her close. It was heaven, feeling whole and loved and wanted. An ache soothed, the one that whispered that he was unlovable and a monster. She burrowed into his warmth, no scrap of loneliness left within her. He moved his lips to her head and murmured, "I love you."

"I know," she replied, and they kissed again, deeply, slowly. He poured all of his sorrow and desperation into their kiss, praying she'd understand, praying she'd accept him. Her eyes shining gold in the firelight, she whispered for him to touch her.

He crept beneath her shirt to map her back with his hands. There were the furrows of her ribs, the valley of her spine. And at the base, a small knot of skin from where he had cut her open to remove the implant that had subdued her power.

When he drew back some, wary and regretful, she kissed him.

"Make me think of us differently," she asked. "I want a better memory to remember."

Rey took off her shirt and went for her breast band as well. Ren did nothing but silently gaze at her, trying to remember if she was so beautiful, so breathtaking before.

She laid down on her own pallet and drew him over her. They kissed and kissed and kissed until both panted for air and all that lay between them was their underwear. When she touched the band, he shuddered.

"Are you sure?"

She nodded and bit her lip. He became bare before her, his erection long and thick between them. Her lips parted and she met his gaze, which scanned hers worriedly.

Her hand ran down and touched him, just barely. Still, his eyes closed as his heart thudded. He couldn't believe this was happening. It was more than he'd ever dreamed, even before. This was…perfect. Slow and gentle, the way he wanted her to experience it.

As her hand curled around him, he couldn't help but grown with pleasure. It had been so long since he had even allowed his own hand to linger there. And her small, callused palm was much, much better. She wanted to touch him, he kept thinking. She wanted him.

When he was throbbing and aching, he remembered himself and removed her hand. To her questioning look, he simply kissed her, longing causing him to loiter there.

Down her body, scars and all, he kissed her slowly. She hummed a little at each spot and her hand stroked his dark, wild hair. When he came to her underwear, they exchanged a look before he drew them down.

Her soft, sweet apex was beautiful. Small curled dark hairs led to a slick center which waited for him. He pressed his lips to the top first, then down. A gasp was heard when he slipped his tongue just between the two folds, and only a little. Her legs fell wide and she opened to him like a golden desert flower.

He pleasured her well there, swiping his tongue on her most sensitive places and using his lips to brush against her. From her lips an incredible moan came, and a spike of want rushed through him. Faster he went until he felt her fingers tightened on his hair and she seized with pleasure.

"Oh, Ren," she gasped, and he drew up to her. She kissed him, not caring that her essence was still on his lips. He nuzzled her cheek with his nose and she sighed.

"Now," She murmured, and he drew back.

"Now?"

She nodded. "I need you, now."

He was lined up and ready when his head dropped to her shoulder and slowly shook back and forth.

"No," he mumbled into her skin. "I can feel you trembling."

She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face into the crook of his neck. "I can't help it," she whispered. "I want you but I can't help being a little afraid."

He pulled back to look her in the eyes, his dark hair covering his own. "Do you want me to stop? We can stop, right here, right now."

She took a deep breath and shook her head. "I want you. I just…I needed that."

She shifted her hips a little forward, beckoning. Staring deeply into her, he pushed carefully forward.

It had hurt the first time, and there had been blood. But now, although it was a little strange and uncomfortable at first, something inside her eased as he stretched her. He was so big and hard, she wanted to cross her legs and keep him there, right there forever. Something fell off both their shoulders as they got lost in being truly whole. Rey thought she had never felt so peace, so full of him and his love for her that she might burst with it.

He moved slowly and carefully, watching her as gentle waves of pleasure flitted across both their faces. She kissed him to keep him from looking, holding him there for a long time as he kept the same pace. Finally, she drew back.

"More, Ren," she encouraged. He pushed a little harder, a little faster, but her heels dug into his back, urging him on.

His thrusts grew less composed when she began to meet him stroke for stroke with a tilt of her hips. He groaned and she answered him, muffling their mouths with a kiss.

"Gods…Rey…" he growled, and she pressed his head close.

"Not, yet, oh not yet!"

Faster and deeper he pushed, and she writhed in his arms.

"Oh there, oh there, Ren!"

Again and again he rubbed her there, and as she began to tighten he hissed.

"Rey…I can't…!"

Exquisite pleasure washed over her and she arched her back up with a loud cry. "Oh Ren!"

Both clung to each other for so long that the sweat on their bodies began to cool. Ren kissed her cheeks gently and removed himself before grabbing her a cloth to clean herself with.

She tugged him to her and she laid her head on his firm, warm chest with a sigh and began tracing the scars there. The desert was silent around them, only the sands shifting in the east could be heard.

"I love you."

He turned his head down to look at hers, her hair messy around her shoulders where it had fallen out. He ran a hand down her long back.

"You love me?"

She nodded quietly and snuggled closer.

"Promise me you won't leave," she asked, and he was surprised that she laid herself open, so vulnerable to him. With so much trust.

"Never," he vowed.

"You still have to stay out of my fights," she told him, and he smiled.

"I know."

A/N

Thanks for reading! Let me know if you enjoyed this ficlet or if you'd rather have me work exclusively on my other fic. Y'all are the bomb.