A/N: Had 2 breakdowns at work twice. The latest original work I sent to the publishing company was rejected. Had rough cough for more than 2 weeks. Terrible writer's block and horrible birthday. Still not at my best but these two don't deserve to be neglected just because I'm miserable :)

CHAPTER 15

Karma stayed still with his phone in hand for a solid minute, nervous and worrying if Asano would pick it up if he called at this time.

It was quarter to three midnight in December, the weather was biting cold and he heard that there would be snowfall anytime from the news. The roads were mostly deserted so he shortly reached Asano's penthouse but was stuck on the entrance since the guards had to confirm to him first if he was allowing him to go before letting him in to the villa. He didn't want to surprise Asano like that, didn't want to hear rejection from the guards in case he declined. This was his first time to feel profound fear towards rejection. Asano hadn't tried to contact him, after all. Perhaps he had made up his mind and gave him up. Karma clutched at the steering wheel of his car; he could still turn back and let it go just like Asano did.

Karma breathed in. No. He had to do this. He had to face whatever the consequence there was for it was his fault anyway. He had to do this no matter how scared he was to completely lose Asano.

He pressed the call button and listened to the rings, anxious about getting voice mail notification instead when it was picked up after the sixth ring.

Karma leaned against the driver's seat and cleared his throat.

"... Hello, Asano-kun?"

"Hey," Asano's voice was clear despite being obviously woken up from sleep.

"Hey," he returned. "Sorry. Did I disturb you?"

"No. How come you're still awake at this hour?"

"I'm just wondering if we can talk," Karma lowly said. "I won't take much of your time. I promise. Just listen to me without hanging up if you can."

"Where are you?" There was a stern tone on Asano's hoarse voice.

"That's not important. We don't have to—"

"Karma. "

At that, Karma paused and held his breath. He couldn't exactly remember when the last time he heard Asano call him by name. They once talked about how they should address each other but later on agreed to just go with what they were comfortable, and ended up calling by surnames just like they did in high school. It was considerably distant, but neither of them paid it any mind. To hear him call his name that way lent him a small ray of hope. Hearing his voice flared the embers of his slowly dying heart which he had been neglecting for weeks. He wanted to see Asano so bad it hurt. It was the truth that he'd been trying to ignore and deny.

"... I'm right outside the gates of the villa. I can't get through the guards unless you give me authorization."

"I'll call them right away. Go straight to the building's entrance and pick me up," Asano instructed, there were faint fumbling sounds from his end which meant he was moving around with his phone.

"Pick you up?" Karma could barely hold his smile as he started the car's engine.

"Yeah. So put the phone down, drive properly and let's meet at the building's entrance. I'll be waiting for you."

"Alright," Karma more than willingly complied then drove through the gates, with the guards pulling the boom seconds after receiving a phone call, presumably from Asano.

Karma pulled right to the building's entrance of Asano's residence and saw him standing near the glass door. Upon seeing his familiar car and plate number, Asano paced closer and reached for the passenger's seat. He slipped in, closed the door then sighed before leaning heavily against it.

Asano didn't look at him right away, and Karma had a chance to study his appearance tonight without being awkward. He was donned in a heavy coat, with thin lines of sleeplessness under his eyes yet the violets were wide awake. His usually neatly groomed hair had some strays sticking into different directions, as if he combed it using only his fingers. Generally, he looked like he just bolted right out of the bed, grabbed the nearest jacket, ran a hand through his hair and stepped out of his penthouse, which was something Asano wouldn't do on a daily basis.

"Where do you want to go?" Karma asked, wondering why Asano didn't want him to go the penthouse if he wanted to talk privately.

"Father is staying overnight. We don't want to disturb him, do we?" Asano spared him a brief glance before looking ahead again. It was free from annoyance or sarcasm unlike his tone, but there was something like embarrassment with the way he looked away. "So take me anywhere you want."

Karma's heart momentarily sunk at that. He recalled the conversation they had before the break-up and realized that tonight must be Asano's scheduled meet-up with his father. What a nasty timing. "I see," he nodded and grabbed at the clutch. Of course. They had to avoid the Chairman.

Shrugging off the hesitance and doubt, he stepped into the gas and drove on.

"Is it okay if you leave him alone at your place? What if he woke up and find out you're not there?" Karma attempted to start a conversation to break the silence between them.

"I left a note on the fridge. Don't need to worry about that," Asano simply answered, which left Karma with nothing good to reply. He chose to remain silent, then. Asano didn't seem to be eager to talk inside the car while he was driving. Karma then had an idea where they could go; a place where they could be alone and talk properly. Whether it would be to finalize their break-up or to exchange proper apology, it was best to do it the right way.

Akabane brought Gakushuu to a park a few kilometers away from the villa. It was a park with a nice overviewing of the downtown located near the shrine to a hill. It usually was a forty-five minutes to an hour trip from the villa, but it was almost four midnight, the roads were clear and the park was deserted so they reached it just in thirty minute drive. They had gone there once, in the evening, when Akabane whimsically pulled him to 'buy my favorite strawberry drink because the nearest vending machine ran out of it.' Instead of going straight back home after dispensing about ten cartons of his drink, Akabane pointed to the view and headed to a nearby bench. He just realized that the trip wasn't only to hoard strawberry juice boxes when as he sat sleepily next to him, he found himself appreciating the view and the cold draft of air. 'It's nice here, isn't it?' Akabane mumbled.

Gakushuu didn't know why but he was suddenly filled with an urge to capture those lips for a kiss that moment. Gakushuu already had closed in on him before he could stop himself. It was their first kiss in public, though no one was around to see it. It was quick, but it was enough to uncharacteristically fluster Akabane that it took him time to return it. He laughed as he broke away, blushing and shy to look Gakushuu in the eyes. Perhaps he didn't see him doing that. Well, Gakushuu neither.

They were back to that very bench tonight, looking distantly at the night view of the town. The park was dimly lit by street lamps and the moon and stars above them.

Akabane sighed dramatically and rubbed at his eyes. He must be sleepy.

"I'm sorry," he started. "For being immature and short-tempered, as always."

"It's okay. It's not like it's all your fault. Everything's just complicated and we can't handle it correctly," Gakushuu tried to shove away the unnecessary apology. "I can see where you are coming. I'm the one to blame, too."

"Heh," Akabane scoffed. "This is not to talk about who's to blame, I hope?"

"No, of course not. So, what do you want to talk about?"

This was it, Karma braced himself. "It's... okay to me now. I don't mind if you keep me hidden from everybody. From now on, I won't force you to reveal our relationship out in the open. I won't be angry if you keep denying me to everyone. I'll do whatever it takes to hide our secret even if it's the last thing I'll do," Karma knew he sounded so desperate and stupid, but he didn't care anymore. The thought of this hiding forever crushed his heart, but he'd rather be hurting that way as long as he had Asano. If Asano was with him, he could do this. "So if it's still okay, can we try again for the second time?"

Asano looked him eye to eye, face blank but his eyes screamed surprise. "Why? Why are you willing to go that far for a bastard like me who prioritizes pride more than anything else like what you've said before? I didn't even try to contact you and say sorry for being a coward. I tossed you away just like that, exactly what you assumed I'll do later, and yet you're still the one who made the first move. Don't you think you deserve someone better? Because I don't think I deserve this," Asano buried his face in his palms, shoving away his bangs.

"Well, yeah. I won't deny that I think you are the biggest jerk on earth and I want to punch you in the face. I was hurt to see how unfazed you were when you lose me, but it's killing me to lose you without even trying to have you back. It took me time to realize that to keep our relationship a secret is a small price to pay for the happiness it brings me when I'm with you. That I'm an idiot for giving you up so easily. That you mean so much to me," there, Karma threw away all his blades, stripped his ego and pride, and bared his heart and soul right in front of Asano. He was wide open, and one small cut from his response should it be a knife would tear him apart. It reminded him of Koro-Sensei's last moments before Nagisa struck the knife through his heart. It felt personal and painful. Koro-Sensei said it was his happiest moment. Karma finally understood what he meant.

"You are worth hurting and fighting for, Gakushuu."

Asano was visibly overwhelmed with his declared resolve. He remained quiet and frozen on his spot, looking at him thoughtfully, as if garnering words and courage to speak. After a moment of contemplation, he looked away and sighed with a slump of his shoulders.

"It's too late now. Father already knows about us."

Karma held his breath and curled his hand into a fist. He knew it. It's futile. But it's okay. It was okay.

"Right. Of course. That must be why you guys talked tonight. So, how did he find out?"

"I told him."

Karma whipped his head to Asano and asked him incredulously. "What!?"

"I told him about you during dinner. I also told Ren yesterday."

Karma paused, not believing his ears. "H-How did it go?"

"Ren said I was so screwed and how much of an idiot I devolved for my petty assumptions, for underestimating you and not trusting you enough."

"Oh my God," Karma heard himself laughing heartily. The truth was he felt so relieved he wanted to cry.

"How about the Chairman?"

Gakushuu couldn't forget it. The moment he told his father Akabane's name and the way he looked surprised, comprehending then an 'Oh, I see.'

'I didn't expect that. How did you guys fall for each other?'

It was ironic that it was Gakushuu who was so dumbstruck and a bit annoyed because he thought he wasn't taking him seriously.

'I... I thought you already know about us, that's why you wanted to talk to me today.'

'I heard you are dating someone, but I didn't know it is Akabane- kun .'

'Aren't... Aren't you against it?'

'Hmm. What is his current job?'

'A bureaucrat in METI. He was promoted as a department head last month.'

'Is he married to someone, or having an affair with somebody else?'

'No, as far as I know.'

'Has he hurt you in any way?'

' Except for some silly pranks, no.'

'Does he make you happy?'

'... Yes.'

'He has a decent work and it looks like he treats you right. Why should I be against him? Aren't you being paranoid? I don't see anything wrong, though of course I want to have a chance to meet him personally to see what kind of a man he has become. I'll give you my blessings should I deem him worthy of you. Just set time and date then tell me beforehand .'

'Father! This is a serious matter! I'm not joking — Karma and I had dated for six months and — '

'Wait. Had dated?'

'We... broke up last two weeks ago. I thought you wouldn't like him.'

'... You are an idiot, Gakushuu. Perhaps I should take back what I said. You still need some guidance, particularly in romance,' his father teased with a drunken laugh.

'Father...'

'Tell me more about him, Gakushuu . I want to know what's special about him that makes you act like a moron and blush like a high school girl right now.'

"He asked me how we met and fell for each other," Gakushuu said, blushing furiously.

"Man," Akabane shook his head. "That is so embarrassing. What did you tell him?"

"Everything," when they met at the bar and the exchange of emails, when he went to his house for the first time and Akabane made dinner, when Akabane pushed him to the pool with his clothes on, the mustard on the juice. Save for the sexy parts, he told his father the most important things that they did together. He didn't realize he was smiling the whole time until his father pointed it out. His father listened and laughed whenever he complained about Akabane's childishness. They downed the entire wine bottle while the Chairman shared some parts of his romantic ventures when he was young that he couldn't help but remember upon listening to Gakushuu's story.

"God. Gakushuu, are you serious!? What do you mean, 'everything?' Have you no shame?" Akabane was blushing and looking so mortified and so angry at the same time.

"Of course not 'everything,' you idiot. Just a bit of this and that. I told him only the important parts that I can think of."

"What did he say?"

"He wants to meet you personally," Gakushuu smiled at the sudden steeled expression Akabane had. "See if you pass his standards and if you deserve his approval before granting us blessings."

Akabane then became even more serious as if taking it as a challenge.

"What else did he say?"

Gakushuu stopped and tried to remember exactly what his father said that filled his heart with gladness and courage. When the last drop of the wine was spent and Gakushuu was telling his father about the break-up, Gakushuu abruptly halted and bowed in apology.

'I'm sorry for disappointing you again, Father.'

At that, Gakuhou Asano stood and gave him a pat on his shoulder. He was fairly tipsy, yet those usually cold and sharp eyes were conscious, aware and warm.

Gakushuu moved closer towards Akabane, and just like that night he wrapped a hand around his waist before capturing his lips into a chaste, longing and sweet kiss without a warning. As he pulled back, he smiled and filled him in.

"'Win him back. Don't disappoint me this time.'"

Karma could feel his eyes began to water, but he held the tears back. He lunged forward and hugged Asano as tight as he could. He breathed in deep and reveled at Asano's scent. He felt as Asano kissed the side of his head and embraced him back.

"I'll do my best this time, I swear."

"Let's get that blessings from Father together."

Karma nodded as Gakushuu patted his back.

"Together."