Title: What Comes After
Summary: When Tony walked away from NCIS, he was convinced he couldn't have it all. But when an ordinary trip to the mall with Tim and Tali turns into anything but, Tony realizes he might just be wrong. Set three months post Family First (13x24). Tim and Tony friendship. Mentions of past Tiva.
Rating: Teen for violence, language
Spoilers/Warnings: General spoilers up to the end of season 13 and specifically, Family First (13x24). Past Tiva.

Author's Note: This was written as part of the Big Bang Challenge on LJ.

I have nothing but gratitude to rose_malmaison for her hard work at putting together a beautiful piece of art for my story. I've been a huge fan of her stories and art for quite some time, so I was honored to finally have her create a few pieces for one of my stories. It's uncanny how she managed to distill my long story down into a few pictures. I couldn't have imagined anything more perfect to fit my work. If you haven't already, please check out her other artwork/stories on Livejournal!

And as always, a huge thanks to solariana for all of her hard work to organize this challenge every year. Without her challenge, this story would likely never have some to pass.

It's my take on what happened after Tony walked away from NCIS at the end of last season. The way the show treated his departure just never sat right with me, so I attempted to figure out where I think he should've ended up. Hopefully, you enjoy reading my fanon as much as I enjoyed writing it.

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Shopping malls were once a place that Tony DiNozzo never had the time, nor the patience to visit. He would often drive past one on the way home from work and wonder how people could spend hours mindlessly wandering the halls.

But ever since he was thrust into the role of a single dad to a toddler full of Hebrew hellfire, he finds a surprising comradery with the other lost souls in the mall. Their blank faces and world-weary eyes—from young mothers begging their children to please just behave to the elderly speedwalkers to the scantily clad teenagers—mirror what he feels in his own soul.

Desperation.

Maybe it's the sleepless nights where he cuddles a stranger to his chest while she screams and cries and begs for her mother in a language that he will never understand. Or perhaps it's from trying to play catch-up and learn how to be a father when he has no idea what the hell he is doing. No matter what the books say, he is pretty sure that everything is wrong and that he will screw up this little girl for life.

But none of that matters when they are doing laps in the mall. Doing laps past stores that are caught somewhere between the world of women's fashion and teen boys' wet dreams.

At the mall, they are just Tony and Tali. Here, they are no longer two survivors lost at sea with no hope of rescue. To the untrained eye, they're father and daughter sharing a beautiful day together.

Tony traces the familiar course through the parking garage to the mall entrance. Outside, the air is sweltering for an early September afternoon since the summer humidity hasn't released its stranglehold yet. The sun hangs high overhead, beating them to sweaty pulps without even raising a finger.

In her stroller, Tali relaxes for the first time since they left yesterday. She seems to have grown accustomed to their daily routine: hurl breakfast on the floor while screaming her head off, go to the mall for a few laps before passing out in the food court where Tony finally gets to eat something.

They're nearly inside when an elderly woman with a blue bouffant and a mad scientist grin holds the door open for them. Her hunched, gnarled body blocks Tony's path. He debates about squashing her with the stroller's monster truck tires.

"Nice to see a father spend some time with his little girl for a change." Her voice is raspy with a smoker's draw. "Most men these days can't be bothered with their young 'ins."

Tony forces a smile to his exhausted face. "Yeah, I'm getting her started early on shopping."

The woman barely needs to bend down to peer into the stroller. Glancing up with wide eyes, Tali hurls a half-eaten cracker directly at the woman's face. It gets swallowed by her hair and she makes no motion to remove it. All Tony has to offer is an apologetic grimace.

"Real pistol you've got there," she says.

"You have no idea." He gestures towards the mall. "Thanks for holding the door."

When he starts to maneuver the stroller around her, she ducks into his way again. He decides running over would probably set a bad example for Tali. She moves into his path again and he wiggles the stroller as best he can between her and the wall.

Tony's phone rings. He ignores it.

"You know, I see you around here a lot," the woman says, trailing him.

Tony shrugs. "My daughter likes the mall."

She wraps her skeletal hand around his upper arm. Her nails dig into the flesh underneath his t-shirt as though she could suck the life from his body.

"No," she says, "I mean I only see you."

He stops dead, staring at the people lazily mulling around inside. They meander without a care, wrapped up in their phones and conversations and purchases. How he wishes that he could be like them. To know what it feels like for the worst thing in the world is buying the wrong size shirt.

But he doesn't get the chance. This conversation is headed at break-neck speed to the place where they always end up. In that heaping pile of emotional shit he'll never be able to escape.

"I never see the little girl's mother," the woman says flatly. "Where is she?"

Like it's any of your G-damed business…

"No longer with us," Tony replies. He never can bring himself to say the word dead.

The woman clucks her tongue. "What a shame to miss out on her little girl's life."

Closing his eyes, Tony clenches his teeth. "Yeah, I'm sure that's exactly how she planned it."

At that moment, the woman's eyes go wide like she finally understands why a man goes to the mall every day with his daughter. Like she finally understands why a mother would leave her little girl behind. Without saying a word, the woman scurries out into the oppressive summer heat.

Good riddance.

Tony lingers in the entrance like a lost ghost, uncertain as to whether he should try to pretend that to be a member of the living or to retreat back to his lifeless apartment. Tali thrashes against the stroller restraints, shaking the tray table like a miniature earthquake.

"Abba!" she howls. "We shop! We shop now!"

Certain another one of her famous meltdowns is looming, Tony bends to her will. He dives headlong into the twirling carousel of shoppers. Teenagers with green and blue and pink hair and every shade in between play on their cell phones, laughing and gasping as they let each other into their virtual worlds. Couples walk hand-in-hand as they stand by store windows dreaming of what they'll buy for their lives together. Exasperated parents yell at their children for going against the flow of traffic.

Just another Sunday, here at the mall.

Tali stares up at them, awestruck by a world that she'll never get a chance to experience.

"Abba, look," she murmurs, over and over.

And Tony does, feeling even more isolated in their own little world.

But he doesn't come here for himself. He comes here for Tali.

Because the sights, sounds, and smells make her smile in the same way as when someone accidently mentions her mother. It's the same smile that lasts only a split second before she asks when her mother will be home. Right before he has to say that she is gone, still gone. That smile that lingers for a moment before the tears start.

Tony shares a drained, prisoner of war smile with a young mother pushing a stroller.

When he and Tali pass the food court, she tries to leap out of the seat. She rips at the safety harness, but her fingers aren't controlled enough to release it.

"Abba! Stop!" she screams. "Stop!"

But Tony is too lost in his own mind to listen. Only when she thrashes sideways, her whole body pitching dangerously to the floor in toddler rage does he jerks the stroller to a halt.

He sighs quietly. "Tali? What is it?"

"Maggie!" she shrieks at the top of her lungs.

Crouching down next to the stroller, Tony rests his hand on her shoulder. She instantly stills, but her tiny chest heaves and her cheeks grow ruddy. He struggles to keep his head rational because two year olds hell bent on their latest desire are harder to reason with than even the most deranged criminal.

"Maggie! TeeTee sees Maggie!" she howls.

"McGee isn't here, Tali," he says quietly, calmly. Even though he's close to losing it himself.

Tali's body thrashes again. "Maggie! Maggie! Maggie!"

Tony presses his lips together, eases his weight off his soon-to-be arthritic knees. He probably should count his blessings considering his little girl is begging for a friend they see regularly as opposed to her dead mother. But a public meltdown—especially one that's about to go off the Richter scale—is still embarrassing.

He offers her a consolation prize pack of peanut-butter crackers, but she throws them back in his face. She cranes her neck around him; her eyes frantically searching the food court.

"Maggie! Here! TeeTee right here!"

A woman with a well-behaved baby perched on her hip shoots Tony a glance that could turn him to stone. He glances up apologetically, wishing the floor would swallow him whole, because he has no idea how to soothe Tali right now. Against his better judgement, he glances towards the packed food court, expecting to see a crowd staring at him like he is the headliner for a freak show. Thankfully, everyone is too involved in their own lives to notice him.

At a table by the sandwich place, Tony notices Tim McGee engrossed in his cell phone.

Shit, I was supposed to be meeting him to go ring shopping today. How did I forget that?

"Maggie!" Tali's face turns even redder. "TeeTee is here!"

"Don't worry, Tali. I see him," Tony says, touching her shoulder. "We're going."

She bucks against the tray table like a wild animal until Tony points the stroller in Tim's direction.

As they draw closer, Tony is surprised to see the quiet confidence that Tim usually exudes has been replaced by a nervous energy radiating in waves. His leg bounces beneath the table, his sneaker squeaking quietly. In place of his uniform starched oxford and dress jeans, Tim wears a plain green T-shirt and Levis that have seen better days.

Tali suddenly goes silent as though she is trying to blend in with the background. She wiggles back and forth in her chair, ready to explode with excitement.

Before Tony has a chance to greet Tim, she shrieks: "Maggie!" right next to him.

Tim nearly jumps out of his skin. His head pops up, eyes wide.

When he notices them, concern sweeps over Tim's face.

And Tony kicks himself for not pretending to have his shit together like he always does. Maybe it's the half a week's worth of stubble or the dark bags under his eyes that give him away. Or maybe it's just something as simple as his designer suits being switched out for casual clothes. Just like Tim, Tony never looked quite right in a t-shirt and jeans.

Tim climbs out of his chair to stand in front of Tony.

Tim goes for a hug while Tony offers a handshake. They switch their intentions halfway through, and end up with a manly one-armed hug with an entire body length between them. Even though they see each other a few times a week, they're still near strangers living on different sides of the same planet.

Tim's eyes search Tony's face. "Hey, how are you?"

Tony's breath catches in his throat like it always does when Tim asks that question. The real answer lands somewhere between his tongue and his lips. That he still doesn't know how to deal with being a dad. That he still can't understand why Ziva couldn't be bothered tell him about their daughter. That he isn't supposed to be angry, but he is still fucking pissed. At the dead mother of his poor daughter.

And Dad wonders why I haven't slept in months.

"I'm fine, Tim," Tony says. Just like he always does.

Tim takes the reply at face value. "I was beginning to think you forgot about me."

"How could I? We just set this up when we had lunch on…what was that? Wednesday?" Tony smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "How's work been?"

It's Tim's turn to be evasive. "Fine."

The subtle shift that took place over the summer suddenly feels seismic. What used to be hours spent pouring over case details—things that Tony wasn't supposed to know about due to his retirement—slowly gave way to discussions about their lives, their feelings, their loved ones. Tony suspects that Gibbs' choice to pass over Tim's promotion in favor of hiring FBI agent Tess Monroe might have something to do with why they never talk about work anymore.

Tony nods. "How are you?"

"Good." Tim grins. "Actually, great. Last night, Delilah and I finally got to – "

Tony raise his hand. "My daughter doesn't need to hear about how you finally lost your…well, you know what, McSteamy."

Annoyance flashes in Tim's eyes before he laughs. "I was going to say that we finally got to enjoy that bottle of wine you gave us when we moved in together."

Tony tilts his head. "Wasn't that over a year ago?"

Tim licks his lips and looks away.

"And you wonder why people think you've got commitment issues, Tim." When his friend doesn't laugh, Tony tries again: "You better snap her up before she comes to her senses."

Tim shrugs as he continues to stare at a store across from them. When Tony follows Tim's gaze, he finds a jewelry store with windows full of twinkling diamonds, sparkling gems, and expensive watches. Pictures of happy couples—blonde haired with blue-eyes and giant, vibrant smiles—in wedding clothes promise that real happiness is just one overpriced, oversized rock away.

"I will," Tim starts. "I just – "

"Maggie? You here?" Tali blurts out, leaning forward in her stroller and twisting her body upwards.

Tim instantly drops to his knees. "How could I forget about you, TeeTee? You're my special girl, remember?"

"Maggie," she repeats, grinning.

"Let's try my name again, Tali. I'm Uncle Tim." He points to his chest. "Can you say that? Uncle Tim."

Her tongue rolls around like it's suddenly too big for her mouth. Somehow, Tim morphs into: "Ima?"

Tali cranes her neck around Tim, desperately searching the crowd for someone who will never come. Tim glances up with a nervous smile and Tony nods to tell him that it's okay, that it's something she does all the time, that it's the only way Tali will learn to move on.

But Tony still holds his breath.

"Ima," Tali breathes as fat tears start down her cheeks.

Pressing her fists against her eyes, Tali mutters something to herself in Hebrew. Then, hysterical sobs ravage her tiny body as she leans over the tray table.

Tim's expression edges into panic and Tony stoops next to him. When Tim tries to escape, Tony grips his arm to say oh, no you don't. His body goes rigid as though even the slightest breath could send Tali careening over the edge.

Tony rubs the back of her head, chases the curls from her face.

"Hey Tali, it's okay," he murmurs. "Abba is here."

She pulls her hands away. "Abba?"

Nodding, he cups her chin to hold her cloudy, hazel-eyed stare. Everyone always tells him that Tali has his eyes. He doesn't believe them because, to him, she is every inch her mother.

"I will always be here and if I'm not, then McGee will be. Remember? He is mine and Ima's best friend. We were a team. Remember when we talked about what it means to be a team?"

"Team-a," she whispers.

Tony holds his index finger to his chest, then Tim's. "We're a team and we always have your – " then he points to Tali " – six. Just like we had Ima's." He waits a split-second to add: "And remember, that I will always love you."

"Love Abba," she murmurs. "Love Maggie too."

Her eyes grow wide as her toddler brain struggles to understand the implication of what the definition of love really is. Since she is finally on a different subject than her dead mother, Tony elbows Tim's side.

Tim glances over with that dead-fish stare he used to wear during his Probie days. Tony tilts his head towards Tali, telling him to just get on with it. Out of her line of sight to not show the growing dent in their united front, Tim shrugs helplessly.

Tony sets his jaw, hoping to hell that he doesn't have to call the bomb squad on Tali if he's wrong.

"Tali," he says, "McGee brought you a present."

Her tiny brow furrows as she tries to make sense of the words. Then she holds her hands out in a gimme motion in anticipation of the present Tim always brings. When Tim pulls a small, black stuffed horse out of his pocket, he gives it a squeeze. It whinnies.

Tali's face lights up as she clutches it to her chest.

Tony taps her tray table. "What do we say?"

"Toda," she says, grinning.

"You're welcome," Tim says, ruffling her hair. "I need to learn how to say you're welcome in Hebrew."

Tony nods. "Yeah, me too. But thank G-d, I can always count on you to bring her something. Otherwise, I think we would've had to call it a day before we even go this party started."

Smiling, Tim just watches Tali make the horse whinny over and over. "What kind of godfather would I be if I didn't spoil her?"

Tony laughs. "The kind who makes offers no one can refuse."

Tim rolls his eyes as he stands up. After giving Tali a quick kiss to the forehead, Tony joins him.

"So, Tony," Tim says, cautiously, "I take it that she isn't getting any better about missing Ziva, huh?"

Tony clenches his jaw, eyes focused on the jewelry store across the hallway. "What do you say we get ring shopping?"

Tim pales considerably when he follows Tony's stare. "How about we take a lap? I need to burn off that milkshake I had while I was waiting for you two."