This article is intended as a commentary and companion to Newt Scamander's Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, annotating a selection of the entries contained therein. While his book does an excellent job of describing a range of magical creatures – their physical properties, habits and habitat – personal experience has shown me that amateurs attempting to care for such creatures are often lacking in common sense and require more specific instructions.

A more accurate title for this work is perhaps Fantastic Beasts and How Not to Hide Them; I can only hope that future enthusiasts learn from the mistakes of their predecessors.

Dedicated to Rubeus Hagrid, whose hobby provided data for many of these entries. Hagrid, they're not all simply 'misunderstood', you're just rather more indestructible than the rest of us.

Harry Potter

Chapter 1: Fantastic Beasts

- Acromantula

- Basilisks

- Cerberus

- Dragons

- Hippogriffs

- Trolls

- Werewolves

Chapter 2: Fantastic Beings

- Centaurs

- Giants

- Goblins

- Halfbreeds

- House Elves

- Merpeople

- Veela

- Werewolves*

Chapter 3: Fantastic Incorporeals

- Boggarts

- Dementors

- Ghosts

- Poltergeists

AN: This fic is the result of reading too many logical reinterpretations of the series, and is my first real attempt at a humour-fic. Because Harry's classes are totally insufficient for dealing with the realities of his life.
Also, note that this was written before I realised JK has already done a variation on this, and I have not read her version. It also has no connection to the
Fantastic Beasts movie.