"Because I Love You"

A/N: I noticed there seems to be no Audrey/Noah love on this site; let's change that. Takes place post-Season 2. Enjoy.

Audrey Jensen couldn't sleep.

This wasn't particularly unusual, mind you. She had, after all, just spent the better part of a month being ruthlessly stalked, threatened, manipulated, blackmailed, and almost killed by a masked murderer. It took Emma three whole months in a treatment facility in order to regain any semblance of a normal life after facing Piper that momentous Halloween night; it should come as no surprise to anyone that, just weeks after Kieran had been arrested and imprisoned, Audrey still had trouble sleeping.

Sometimes she still heard his voice – the voice – whispering to her in the dead of night. Sometimes she could still feel the blood dripping on her face from the writing on the ceiling above her. On more than one occasion she had actually woken and thought she spied that telltale mask looking at her from outside her window, only for it to turn out to be the moon or a simple trick of the light. But Kieran was gone, and would be troubling Audrey no longer.

Problem was, it wasn't Kieran or Piper or Brandon James that had been keeping Audrey up lately. It wasn't school or her burgeoning "refriendship" with Emma or the police detail that tried Oh-So-Hard to follow her and her friends everywhere without being overly conspicuous. That wasn't why Audrey couldn't sleep.

No, it was Noah Foster that was keeping Audrey awake at night.

It had been just over a month since she and Noah had been kidnapped (well, okay, she kidnapped him, she reminded herself) and Noah had spoken his deathbed confessions. That he didn't like his cat. That he wishes he had learned to play the sax. That Terminator wasn't his favorite movie, or even in his Top Five. That Lakewood sucked before he met Audrey.

That when they kissed . . . he felt something. That he always kind of wanted to kiss her.

At the time, Audrey had told Noah she loved him. She did, just . . . not like that. And at the time, she had been telling truth. But now? Now she wasn't so sure.

A lot had happened since then. Noah had fallen in love with Zoe, and then lost Zoe. Audrey and Emma had reconciled and even worked together to stop Kieran. Noah was back to his old obsessive self and producing new episodes of The Morgue. Some things stay the same. Some things change.

And now Audrey was beginning to think her feelings had changed as well.

Had the tightening in her chest she experienced every time she saw Noah smile or heard him laugh always been there . . . or was it something new? Had she always glared at the other girls who approached him or subconsciously moved closer to him in class? Had her heart always skipped a beat whenever he texted her?

Had she always kind of wanted to kiss him too?

"Fuck," Audrey whispered to herself as she stared up at the ceiling. Her bedroom felt dark and stifling around her, unfamiliar territory. She had returned from working at the Zenith Theater hours ago, an eight hour shift, so she knew she had to be tired. And she felt tired. But sleep would not come.

Fucking Foster, she thought to herself. He was supposed to be the obsessive one. He was supposed to be the insomniac. He was supposed to be the one pining over her.

Audrey looked down at her phone and, for the thirty-second time that evening, contemplated texting him. But what would she say? I think I love you?

"Ugh," she groaned, dramatically tossing the phone back onto the bed before getting up to see if her father had any sleeping pills he hadn't hidden very well. "I give up."

She hadn't even reached the door before she heard her phone buzz. And she didn't even need to look before she knew exactly who it was.

Noah Foster. The text gleamed in the darkness of the bedroom: Hey, you awake?

Audrey's fingers danced over her phone.

More like Living Dead. What's up?

Can you come over?

A small smirk curled at the edge of Audrey's lips as she responded.

In the middle of the night? What kind of chick do you think I am?

There was a pause. Then:

I need you.

Audrey felt her heart skip a beat, and then chastised herself for noticing. Her fingers made the decision for her, dancing over the keys before she even had time to consider her response.

On my way.

It was almost two in the morning by the time Audrey arrived at Noah's. She noted the driveway was empty as she pulled up and put the vehicle into park. Noah's mother was away again. It didn't really matter either way; she and Noah had been so close for so long that Mrs. Foster had long ago grown accustomed to Audrey's frequent visits and sleepovers. Audrey even had her own key.

After double-checking to make sure her phone was still in her pocket, Audrey quickly made her way into the Foster home and walked up the same staircase she had walked up a thousand times before. The whole residence felt familiar to her, all of it, more familiar than her own bedroom in her own house with her own things.

She knocked on Noah's door.

"Come in."

Noah was sitting on the edge of his bed when Audrey entered, staring into space. All the lights were on, illuminating the dozens of movie posters plastered around his room. His computer and television, however, were off. No books were out. No movies were playing.

He just sat there.

Without a word, Audrey walked over and hopped onto his bed, landing beside him and looking over at him with an eyebrow raised in concern.

"You okay, dude?" she asked as she wrapped her arm around his like she always did. Something was wrong; she could tell. And whatever she was feeling . . . it would have to wait.

"No," he said simply. That was it. That was all. He said no more.

Noah Foster wasn't running his mouth? Something was definitely wrong.

"Alright, Foster, I see how it's gonna be," Audrey said as she kicked her shoes off and then pushed herself to the far corner of the bed, by the window. "Come on. Let's do this thing."

Noah did as he was asked and laid back onto the bed. Audrey did the same, laying down beside him before resting her head and hand on his chest. It wasn't long before she felt his arm instinctively snake around her waist. This was a ritual they had, one they had performed countless times before when Audrey had spent the night.

Even before Audrey became the illustrious Bi-Curious, this was something they had done. Sometimes Noah initiated it, sometimes Audrey did. It had never really seemed romantic before (well, okay, maybe a little) but it helped both feel safe, trusted. It felt comfortable. It felt familiar.

It felt right.

Audrey didn't know how long she laid there listening to Noah's heart beat in his chest before he spoke again. It had probably only been a few minutes but, to her, it felt like an eternity.

"I'm so sorry, Audrey." His voice was sad and low, barely more than a whisper.

Audrey frowned without looking at him. "For what?"

"For loving you."

There was that tightness in Audrey's chest again, the one that made her feel like all the air in her lungs was being squeezed out little by little, the one that made her heart beat just a little bit faster as though her ribs were closing in on it.

"Explain," Audrey demanded, still struggling to keep her cool. Noah had called her here; she was here to help, not to hinder. She was his badass Bi-Curious and she needed to be strong for him.

"That night at the carnival, when you kidnapped me . . . I meant everything I said," Noah began, his voice growing steadier and more confident as he spoke.

"Even the part about your cat?" Audrey asked in a poor attempt to inject some humor into the situation. Noah either didn't hear her or simply chose to ignore her.

"I meant it when I told you I felt something when we kissed. And I'm sorry. I know you're not into me like that; I get it. I can't imagine how uncomfortable that had to make you . . . how uncomfortable that might still make you."

Noah took a breath before speaking again. "But it didn't make the feeling go away."

Audrey could feel his heart as it began to pick up speed, little by little. She bit her lip to keep herself from stopping him; he had to finish. He had to do this on his own.

"Even when I was with Zoe . . . I think a part of me still loved you," Noah continued, his voice growing shaky again with his use of the dreaded L-Word. "And sometimes I feel like that's why Zoe had to die."

"What the hell?" Audrey asked, finally breaking her silence as she lifted her head up and looked at her friend as if he had grown a second head. "That's what you've been beating yourself up about? You think you're responsible for Zoe's death?"

"Logically, no," Noah admitted without managing to look her in the eye. "But by horror logic . . . yes. Because no matter how much I loved her, so long as even the tiniest part of me still loved you . . . I was wronging her. I didn't deserve her. And so Kieran took her away from me."

"Noah, that is the stupidest thing I have ever – "

"But that's not the worst part," Noah continued, interrupting Audrey before she could finish. "That's not why I'm sorry."

Audrey rolled her eyes dramatically. "Alright, Foster, you win. Spill. What are you actually sorry about?"

It took Noah a moment to compose himself before he spoke again, and once he did speak he did so through what sounded like a choked sob.

"You're going to die because I love you."

Audrey's eyes widened as that one, single statement sent her mind reeling. Her black nails inadvertently dug into Noah's chest as her grip on his shirt suddenly tightened.

"What are you talking about, Noah?" she asked, softly.

"Don't you see, Audrey?" Noah said, finally gathering the courage to look her in the eyes and reveal his own were filled with tears. "It's the perfect slasher pattern. I dated Riley; Riley died. I loved Zoe; Zoe died. And now . . . now I love you. I think I always have."

Audrey didn't know what to say. She was half-sitting now, lifting herself off the bed so she could look down at Noah lying next to her. "Noah, I – I – "

"I love you so much it hurts, Audrey," Noah interjected, the tears flowing freely now. "And it doesn't hurt because you don't love me the same way, or even because I feel guilty about Riley and Zoe . . . but because I know you're going to die, too. You're going to die because I love you and you don't even love me the same way. And that means it really will be all my fault."

Noah turned and looked her in the eye. "You're going to die because I love you."

A moment of silence passed. Then two. Noah sat up with a curse and turned away until he was sitting on the edge of the bed again, furiously wiping away the tears he felt streaming down his cheeks. Another moment passed before Audrey joined him, scooting up beside him.

"That's why you've been so flaky lately?" Audrey asked, looking over at her friend as he wiped away the last of his tears. "That's why you've been acting all weird and avoiding me and shit?"

"I can't let you die, too," Noah confirmed, glancing at her quickly before glancing away. "Riley and Zoe . . . I still see them dying every night in my dreams. But if you die, Audrey, if I lose you . . . I don't know what I would do. I don't think I could live in a world without you."

Audrey didn't know what to say. Another moment passed. Then:

"Noah Foster, you goddamn idiot."

Noah turned with a confused frown, wondering what in the world Audrey was talking about, just in time to widen his eyes as he felt her place her hand on his cheek and press her lips to his. It took Noah almost a full second to register what was happening before he felt his eyes flutter closed and he finally began to reciprocate.

It wasn't a soul-searing or fiery kiss that caused them to fall all over each other. Nor was it a full-on make-out session like Audrey had done with Rachel or Noah had done with Zoe, or even which the two had experienced together while under the influence of ayahuasca. This kiss was short. It was sweet. It was intimate.

It said everything they couldn't.

Having first initiated the kiss, Audrey was likewise the one to eventually end it. She pulled back, not without a tinge of regret, and opened her eyes to see Noah do the same. His face was red and she knew hers had to be too. And though she saw tears still glimmering in Noah's eyes, she also saw the ghost of a smile, and that was enough for her.

"So, um," Noah began, his attitude regressing yet again into that of the awkward and goofy young man Audrey knew and loved. "Well, yeah, that was . . . huh. So . . . what does this mean?"

Audrey rolled her eyes. "It means that if I go down, I'm gonna go down swinging."

With that, Audrey pushed Noah back down onto the bed and quickly climbed on top of him, her hips straddling his waist. But when she looked down at the confused boy beneath her, it was not with a mischievous smirk or an expression of arousal, but with a stark and serious glare, he one Noah affectionately called 'The Look.'

"Listen to me, Noah," Audrey began with both eyebrow raised, as if explaining something simple to a disobedient child. "I can take care of myself. You know that. Who shot Piper?"

"You," Noah timidly admitted.

"And who beat the crap out of Kieran and put his ass in jail?"

"Also you. Well, and Emma. And Chief Acosta, I guess. And didn't Eli – "

"Not the point," Audrey interjected. "I am going to die someday, Noah. But, short of pushing me in front of a bus, it will not be your fault. Not now. Not ever."

She places both hands on either side of Noah's head and leaned down until she was looking him in the eyes and their lips were mere centimeters apart. "You want to know what this means, Noah? You really want to know?"

Noah nodded rapidly.

"It means I am officially taking full responsibility for my own impending doom."

With that, she closed the gap between them once again, pressing her lips to his for the second time that night. And as Noah finally kissed back, one hand hesitantly and awkwardly making its way up her arm before sliding down to her waist, Audrey no longer felt alone or conflicted. For one brief and beautiful moment, all was right with the world.

She collapsed beside him when they were finished, her heart pounding in her chest and her lungs gasping for air. She felt his arm snake around her waist once again and let herself be pulled back up against him, resuming their usual position.

"So, um, unless that was the greatest pity kiss ever, I'm assuming you actually do love me . . . like that?" Noah asked a little bashfully, his cheeks as red as a tomato as he looked over at her.

"Pretty much," Audrey replied with a nonchalant shrug, forever the cool one.

Noah sighed dramatically. "Well, now you're definitely going to die."

Audrey couldn't help it; she laughed. It felt good to laugh, good to feel Noah beneath her and beside her, good to feel like she wasn't alone anymore.

She felt Noah's arm tighten around her waist and responded by placing her head back on his chest, once again placing her ear over his heart and listening to its rhythmic beat. The regular pounding of his heart, the weight of his chest, the feel of his arm around her . . . it was familiar. Reassuring. Everything Audrey had missed about Noah.

"I've been lying awake in bed every night because of you, Foster," she finally admitted. She felt Noah prop his head up and look down at her as she spoke. "Literally every damn night. Wondering what I did to push you away or scare you off. And this whole time you've been terrified that I'm going to die because you love me?"

Audrey smiled and shook her head. "You are the dumbest smart person I know, Noah Foster."

With that, Audrey buried her head in his chest and wrapped her arm around his torso, holding him close. Noah reciprocated by tightening his grip on her with one arm and using the other to rest his hand on the back of her head, lightly stroking her short black hair. They held onto each other for dear life, as though letting go would mean the end of everything.

"I'm sorry I couldn't tell you earlier," Noah whispered just as the two of them were finally drifting off to sleep. "I didn't want to lose you."

"You won't," Audrey promised as she nuzzled into his chest. "I'm your favorite Final Girl for a reason. I'm not going anywhere."

"I love you, Audrey Jensen," Noah said sleepily, the ghost of a smile haunting his lips as he finally fell asleep.

Audrey just smiled and nuzzled closer. "Love you too, dude."

That night, held by familiar arms in a familiar bed, Audrey Jensen finally slept.

A/N: Apologies for any potential OOC. These two are among my all-time favorite characters, and to say writing for them is daunting would be a colossal understatement.

Reviews and comments appreciated!