Well, I decided to be one of those fanfic writers and leave this thing alone for way too long. Apologies for that! Now let's forget about all of that and get on with what you really want.

"I still cannot believe you young children think that you should have the entire world handed to you on a silver platter! Just because you're young doesn't mean that you should be excused from work!"

"Skip."

"Why, I'll have you know that, back in my day, we had to work in the fields, day in and day out, until our hands were raw and our feet bled. Fun? The only fun we had was seeing how many cabbages we could harvest in a day. School? Bah! The parents taught the oldest and left them to teach the younger children. And you know what? We still knew more than you children know today!"

"Mute."

"There's a reason our wonderful world is falling apart nowadays. Heck, 'merely' would be if you were putting the news in a positive light! I swear, if the world doesn't destroy itself in a decade, why, I would be surprised. No, actually, I would be, because that would mean that you lazy children actually got up for five minutes and accomplished something worth mention!"

"Silence."

"So, what is your excuse, young lady? Are you content letting your overworked and overburdened elders do all the work for you? Do you think that by letting your tired grandparents carry your burdens that you can just laze around and let them carry you? Should I bring out your palanquin, your majesty? Ha, as if you even know what that word means."

"Finish. Complete. End. Terminate."

Silica continued to ramble on various words, nearly all synonyms of "quiet" and "end," as she was led along by the old woman. At the start, the NPC's antics were more amusing than anything else: the "cranky old woman" character was definitely different from any other archetype she'd seen so far. Within five minutes of said quest beginning, the hag had started to complain about near literally anything that Silica could imagine was possible to complain about—most of it involving those "young lazy kids." Within fifteen, Silica no longer found this archetype amusing in any way. Thirty, and she had given up on trying to pay attention to the noises around her, simply resigning to impending sneak attacks. Forty-five, and Silica was nearly begging the game to send them said attack so that she could at least have the witch shut up for a few minutes. Not too many enemies though; Silica still wanted to survive all of this.

The evil woman next to her? Silica felt fewer strong opinions.

Thankfully, what was three hours later, the canopy of leaves above slowly cleared to let the light of a clearing shine through. Or at least she thought that might be the case; she imagined the same thing an hour back, but instead found only more trees and ferns and despair. That didn't matter now, though, for this time it was surely the edge of the forest and she were going to leave it and the old nasty woman next to her and go on with her life! Happy thoughts!

Silica reached to a tree next to her and knocked on the trunk.

After listening to only another fifteen minutes of the wretched example of computer programming continuously insulting her and everyone with two digits in their age, the light slowly trickling down from above erupted in full force, showing that indeed they were nearing the edge of the forest. A smile broke across Silica's face, and she had to fight the urge to rush forward and start kissing the ground. Instead, she restrained herself to merely hastening her pace.

That smile morphed into a gasp and giggle as the last few trees were left behind her. Ahead, no more than a couple hundred paces away, was a tiny village separated from the forest by a large expanse of grass. Well, calling it a village would've been quite generous, for Silica was fairly certain five small buildings and a rough dirt road wasn't enough to fit the definition of an actual village. All but one of the buildings appeared identical, with all five forming a horseshoe ring around a well. The five buildings were nearly square with the walls of each made of wooden planks. Cheap wooden shingles covered the roofs of the smaller four, with the fifth still being wooden shingles, but seemingly a slightly better quality. From the way the four smaller buildings were rotated, she could tell they all had six windows: two on the longer walls and one on each of the shorter sides. The fifth and larger of the buildings had what looked like twice as many, six on the first floor and six on the second.

The front door of the houses faced the inside of the horseshoe, facing the stone well in the center. Surprisingly, at least to Silica, the doors were roofed by a covered porch, seemingly the only luxury granted to them. The largest of the buildings stood in the middle of the horseshoe, nearly double the size of the other four due to the second floor. Granted, a building twice the size of structures only as large as her real-world bedroom wasn't saying much, but it said something.

Silica shrugged to herself. Though, whatever it says, I don't know.

"Finally!" the hag said, her tone beyond exasperated. "Looks like you aren't entirely useless. I have to say you exceeded my expectations."

Silica smiled.

"After all, you were able to follow me all the way here without crying out for mommy or complaining about the mosquitoes."

Silica frowned.

A few seconds later and she trudged after her supposed charge, the quest still not triggering as completed. The witch led them into the village and towards the largest of the buildings. As Silica shadowed the crone, she noticed that the few villagers that called this settlement home—Silica could only count about ten standing and walking around the dusty road—were openly staring at the pair. Do I have something on my face? she thought to herself. Probably not; she was well aware that the stares that everyone was shooting at them were less at her and more at the crank. A well-known crank? She didn't voice her question—suicide wasn't part of today's schedule.

Without even knocking on the front door, the banshee burst into the two-story building and yelled, "I'm home, you good-for-nothing oaf!"

"Mother? Is that you?" Mr. Oaf asked, nearly twisting himself into a spring as he spun his head around in a blur. Silica was surprised at how fast he could twist around, considering how overweight he was. Sure, he wasn't the heaviest man she'd met, but easily the heaviest NPC. It looked like he was less fat and more just blown up like a balloon, considering how his shirt and trousers were too tight and his weight seemed to mostly gather around his belly. A full beard hiding additional chins, a mop of curly brown hair, and a couple of stains on his shirt completed his look.

Standing from the dining room table he was previously eating at, he dropped his fork and knife and took a few shaky steps as he crossed the wooden floor. "You're... you're alive..."

"Of course I'm alive. You aren't so lucky as to be rid of me yet," The monstrous woman declared as she stomped past Mr. Oaf. She made straight for the kitchen, opening several cabinets to pull out some food from the cupboard.

Silica remained silent as Mr. Oaf half-turned to where the bat now busied herself, but whatever he was planning on saying died on his lips, apparently deciding against voicing it. Instead, he turned back to Silica and said, "Thanks for bringing back my mother."

Nodding, Silica replied. "No problem, Mr..."

"Oh, my apologies! Where are my manners? My name is Earl." He smiled, extending a hand towards her.

She took it, giving it a shake. "Nice to meet you, Mr. Earl. I'm Silica."

"A pleasure, young adventurer. Please, if you don't mind," he said, gesturing towards the stairs. Hesitating a moment—she wasn't sure if Mama's and Papa's advice about creepers applied to NPS's—Silica stepped towards and up the stairs creaking with every step as she climbed the twenty or so steps. Taking a glance around the upper floor, she noted it was mostly the same style as the ground floor: that of wood. Wooden walls and wooden floors supported large wooden crossbeams overhead. To Silica's right, a small round table was placed, standing near an open wall that overlooked the first floor of the building. Three wicker chairs surrounded the table on three sides, with a simple oil lamp on the table. To the left, there were three beds: one queen-sized and two twins. A simple bedside table sat in between the queen and the nearest twin bed. Giving the room light were windows surrounding the entire floor, each window on this floor directly another a respective one on the ground floor.

"Please, make yourself comfortable," Mr. Earl said from beside her, motioning with his hand towards the table and chairs. Taking the hint, she pulled out the nearest chair and seated herself, flattening her skirt out as she did so. She watched as Mr. Earl sat across from her and couldn't help but to raise an eyebrow as he set down two ceramic cups he got from somewhere. Sliding one towards her, she noted it was filled with... lemonade? Silica sniffed the cup. Probably lemonade.

"Again, I would like to thank you for saving my mother," Mr. Earl said, taking a sip of his drink. Leaning forward, he said in a much more hushed tone, "Even though she's... quite the handful."

Taking that as a cue to relax her lips, Silica let out a groan and scratched her cheek. "Ugh, don't remind me. I saved her and everything, and she does nothing but complain the whole way back to the village!"

Mr. Earl chuckled, shrugging slightly. "That's just my mother's way, really. She comes off as hard and cold lady—and she really is—but she means well."

Silica nearly retorted, but swallowed the "more like a cranky vile creature" comment that threatened to escape her lips. Instead, she forced a convincing smile onto her face. She wasn't sure if she succeeded in the convincing part. "Well, if you say so, I believe you."

Again, Mr. Earl shrugged. "Well, as long as one of us does, that's good enough for me."

Silica nodded, then blinked. "Wait, huh?"

Mr. Earl waved his hand in the air, brushing away the current subject. "It's not important. Besides, she's been extra... emotional lately, what with the whole incident a week ago."

"Incident?" Silica cocked her head. "She was kidnapped that long ago?"

He shook his head. "Oh no no, she was only taken earlier this morning while trying to find our village guardian."

As soon as the words left his lips, a question mark appeared over his head. Oh? A hidden quest chain? Silica thought, her heart rate quickening slightly and a smirk appearing on her face. I've heard of these before! Front Liners say that you can get some crazy good items or unique skills from them! Though... even if it's deep in the forest, how did everyone miss this quest? I thought the first floor was completely explored five times over now. After a second, she shook her head. Doesn't matter, I guess.

Not seeing an obvious display or button to accept the quest as per normal, she simply continued the conversation. "Well, if you need help finding your guardian, I could lend a hand."

"Oh no no. After all you've done, I couldn't possibly accept your help. You've done so much for us already."

Silica grinned wider. "Oh please, good sir, I insist!"

Mr. Earl sighed, possibly weighing the options of accepting her help—though, Silica supposed he was just an NPC, most likely not—until he eventually sagged his shoulders. "Young adventurer, I'd be honored to accept your help on this endeavor." Sighing again, he sipped at his drink.

Suddenly realizing the yet undrunk cup still in her hands she took a sip. The moment the yellow liquid splashed against her tongue, her eyes widened. Holy... this is the best lemonade I've ever tasted! She downed the rest of the nectar in a couple gulps until the vessel was dry.

Lamenting the loss of her loved one, she asked, "So... what do you know about the guardian and its location? I'd rather get started sooner rather than later."

He nodded. "Well, I don't know much really; the guardian business is really my mother's expertise. All I know is it's supposedly a giant bird-thing."

Silica raised an eyebrow. "A giant bird-thing?"

Mr. Earl shrugged. "Supposedly."

"I... see..." Silica trailed off. She raised the cup to her lips. Still empty. Drat.

"Like I said, it's mostly my mother that knows about it, and she's not the most... welcoming when it comes to giving people what they want." Silica nodded, remaining silent as Mr. Earl continued. "But as I said, it's a giant bird, so can't be hard to find."

Again, Silica bobbed her head. "I guess."

"Good. Anyway," Mr. Earl said as he stood and looked out the window, "I would feel guilty sending a young lady like yourself out on your own this late into the afternoon. If you'd take up the offer, I extend my hospitality to you for dinner and a place to sleep."

As if on cue, Silica felt her stomach rumble in gleeful anticipation. A smile broadening across her face, Silica said, "I—"

"What is my failure of a son trying to pull today? Hmm?"

Silica's smile died right there, taking the rest of her happy thoughts with it. Turning around, she saw Mother Hag climbing the steps with a sandwich on a plate and a drink in hand. Not bothering to wait for an invitation, she pulled out the last remaining chair and plopped herself down. Picking the sandwich up, she said, "Let me guess: he's making a fool of himself and all of our ancestors."

"Mother, please." Mr. Earl sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I simply offered the young lady dinner and a place to stay for the evening as thanks for rescuing you."

"For rescuing me? Bah! I had everything under control." Shifting her gray hair over her shoulder, she looked at Silica out of the corner of her eye. "Besides, I thought you would resist trying to seduce girls with less years than you have chins."

"Mother!" Mr. Earl shouted as Silica gagged, coughing into her hand. "I'm not trying to s... to... you know! I'm simply thanking her!"

"Right right, of course." The horrible, horrible, and downright disgusting creature turned fully towards Silica, and she couldn't help but to gulp. Seemingly looming over her, the demon said, "Regardless, if my miserable, perverted, and touchy-feely son of mine offered, it'd be ill-mannered of me to retract the invitation. Well, my little young lady, would you like to stay the evening and sleep cuddled up next to my middle-aged, balding, and overweight son?"

A few hours later and Silica was setting up her blanket, bedroll, and pillow on the grass just outside of the village, but still within the safe zone. Was it rude to say no to Mr. Earl and his evil mother? Probably. However, there wasn't the slightest of chances she was going to stay there with the possibility of him trying to pull something. Sure, considering that her Moral Code setting was still set to safe, it should've been impossible for anything that would ruin her chances to get married to happen, but any nonzero chance was high enough—especially considering Sword Art Online marketing already lied on a few features of the game—for bailing to be the best option. Thankfully, the adults were kind enough to give her a couple days' worth of food to "ward off the bite of the cold." Regardless, she'd slept outside enough that she was prepared for anything.

At least, until she woke up covered in a blanket of snow.

"What the heck?" Silica muttered as she sat up from her open-air bedroll, letting the snow fall off her. All around her, a crisp, fresh sheet of fresh powder stretched, covering anything and everything. The trees in the forest were burdened by their fresh burden, a few every-so-often shedding themselves of their load and allowing heaps of snow to fall to the ground. In the town, near every building was covered by the snow. However, all the houses were surrounded by a small ringed mound, undoubtedly produced by the buildings dropping sheets of packed snow from their roofs. On many other days, the view would've been breathtaking.

Sadly, suddenly finding out that she slept under an open sky in the middle of a snowstorm did not count as most days. How she stayed asleep through the entire thing was a mystery all in its own.

Another second, and a violent shiver raced up from Silica's feet, up her legs, and all the way to her ears. Immediately, her arms were hugging herself and her knees were together, painfully aware at how bare her legs and shoulders were with the starting outfit she still wore. "Stupid skirt..." Silica muttered, her teeth rattling together. "Why do the guys get pants while girls get miniskirts." Chancing a moment, she reached forward towards the bedroll, pressed it, and watched her modest bedding disappear into her inventory. With that, and after noting her distinct lack of any snow-related gear whatsoever in her inventory, she continued.

Throughout the morning, amongst the soft crunching of snow underfoot, she hugged herself and heard her own teeth clattering against each other, staggered breaths escaping her throat. If her arms weren't best served hugging herself at the moment and her feet best for marching, she would've been punching or kicking herself. Sure, the weather yesterday was clear and warm enough, but she knew the game had seasons, and of course Christmas was coming up. Obviously it would get cold at some point. How could she go out like this without any winter gear?! Stupid stupid!

However, as cold as she was, she wasn't taking any actual damage—although the new snowflake-shaped status effect near her heath bar was new. As such, she allowed the thoughts of being what might be the first player to complete this quest-line warm her spirit, if not her body. Yes, with this, she would obtain the greatest weapon in the game, fit for a true hero, and save everyone!

The thought got her through the first half of the first day.

But by lunchtime, that happy, warm feeling had numbed into a dull, frozen ache. Sure, the Stuffed Jalapeños that Mrs. Hag and her son put together for her were fantastic and aided in driving away the worst of the ice in her veins, along with that status effect, it wasn't perfect. After all, Silica never was a fan of spicy foods, and those stuffed peppers was probably the top spicy meals she'd ever eaten, even if the pain of the spiciness didn't translate well into the game. Still, the meal lived up to the flavor text of "helping to drive away frostbite."

Sadly, that spicy warmth brought by those peppers lasted but a scant hour until the biting cold returned with a vengeance, along with that snowflake-shaped effect. Thankfully, here in the depths of the forest itself, the trees blocked whatever wind might've dared to pick up. Unfortunately, said trees reduced the visibility to scarcely nothing, making the guardian search... problematic.

Which lead to the situation Silica found herself in now: laying in the snow, under the stars, with nothing but the bedroll under her, a thin sheet over her, and the scant clothes on her back to ward against the chill. As her teeth rattled and her body quaked, she lamented the failure that yesterday ended up being: the entire day had been one giant bust. Hell, apparently the snow had become some kind of monster deterrent, for other than a two plant monsters that she couldn't remember the name of, there was nothing to break the monotony of the entire search. Where is everything? You'd think the loss of the village guardian would mean monsters would flock here or something. Whatever the case, if nothing else, it gave her peace of mind enough to risk camping out like this outside a safe zone. A couple hours later and Silica fell into a shivering, dreamless sleep.

And thus was how Silica's next few days played out. Wake up shivering, walk around shivering, utterly annihilate some under-leveled plant-thing while shivering, wander around some more while shivering, go to bed shivering, and somehow find the time to shove spicy food in between her clattering teeth three times a day. The food that Mrs. Hag and Mr. Earl gave her only lasted until the end of the second day, after which she was back to lumpy, unsalted rice balls. Even those would only last a few more days, after which it was either discover the joys of hunting and cooking with no relevant skills whatsoever, or discover if death through starvation was a mechanic. Considering her only hunting tools—or at least items that could pass as hunting tools—were her dagger with questionable durability, a nearly destroyed spear, and a short sword, and things weren't looking entirely favorable. That was ignoring the fact that she had no idea how to start a campfire to cook the thing she would fail to find and catch.

By day five, Silica was tramping through the forest, still cold, still affected by that snowflake, but now down to her last rice ball. "Stupid quest. Why did I agree to this anyway? Why couldn't Mrs. Devil do it instead?" Silica asked herself, finding no answer in response. Either way, it was time for lunch. Just like almost every other meal so far, she found a large rock to sit on, brushed some of the snow off the top, then carefully sat atop it as she made sure her skirt was between the icy rock and her skin. Still shaking, she slowly opened and closed her completely numb fingers, the motion as muted as it had been for days now. This only started after the snow. Gotta be a slow or something.

Regardless of which, she pressed the Rice Ball in her inventory to materialize it. When it appeared, her shivering and numb fingers fumbled it and it fell to the ground. A beat, then it exploded into polygons as its tiny durability depleted instantly.

Silica blinked.

Silica blinked again.

Silica blinked again again.

The last of her food did not reform.

Silica scre—

A flash of movement out of the corner of her eye slammed her mouth shut. Instead, she spun her head around and squinted. I could've sworn that... there!

Between a thinner area of trees, Silica could make out a small hint of red and silver contrasting against the white of the rest of the forest. Rice ball forgotten, she jumped off the rock and immediately fell into a crouch, the snow swallowing her up halfway to the shin. She carefully crept along, wincing at every crunch of snow her boots shouted. Thankfully, while the snow screamed out her footsteps, it also swallowed them and every other noise in the forest.

A few more tepid steps and one fallen pile of snow later and she found herself hunched behind the last standing tree before a tiny clearing. There, at the mouth of a cave thirty feet distant, stood a single kobold. However, unlike any of the others she'd fought before, this one wore a metal helmet and some metal armor that covered its chest. Chestplate, they called it? Probably. But why? Regardless, he stood there, by himself, guarding something important, and Silica hadn't fought anything worthy in days.

As such, it was going to die.

Her legs exploded into motion, carrying her across the short distance in no time at all despite the snow. Not even numb fingers stopped her as Silica drew her weapon smoothly and jumped, catching the kobold before it could even shift its stance. The monster only had time to widen its eyes before she tackled it, barreling both over and put it on its back with her on top. She straddled its midsection and, before it could let out a yelp, she lifted her dagger and plunged it into its face.

Surprisingly, it survived what certainly was a critical hit to the face. It even survived the second critical. It didn't survive the third.

Boring, Silica thought to herself as she stood, sheathing her dagger. More than boring, it was a depressing letdown: with a new monster in a new environment during a special quest, she expected some sort of actual fight. Instead, it acted like a standard kobold and it went down just as easily... well... almost as easily.

"Well, whatever." She shrugged, moving her hand to dismiss the post-battle menu. Just as she was about to press the button, she froze. In addition to the slightly elevated XP and Col, there was a strange item included: a Blue Feather.

She selected it, allowing the feather to appear in her hand. Frowning, she held it up against the sky. "This supposed to be a clue of some sort?" she muttered, turning over in her hand. The item didn't have anything written on it except the flavor text stating "A brilliant blue feather." "Is it even supposed to do anything?" Regardless, she dematerialized it back into her inventory.

Feather stowed, she glanced down at the cave sitting in front of her. Well... calling it a cave was somewhat misleading, for a proper description would be a glorified hole in the ground. Just wide enough to fit her, plus a little wiggle room, it bore down into the earth until darkness prevented any further inspection. All sides were made up of a grey rock, with no real notable markings to show.

On one hand, the thought of climbing in a hole like this was insane just to imagine. On another hand, the hole wouldn't have been put here if players would get stuck it in, and it had to have something of interest in it—why have a guard at the front otherwise? On a third hand, if she were attacked while she was navigating the tunnel, considering she was an agility build and not a vitality build... well...

She shook her head. Don't think about that sort of thing. Mentally tossing the subject back and forth, she stood at the entrance for several minutes. Finally, as snowflakes once again started to land on her shoulders and she noticed the sun was just about an hour before setting, she growled and mumbled, "Fine, game; I get the hint," and crawled on in.