She blinks absently, shocked at the scene before her.

"Well then. Now there's something you don't see everyday."

Indeed, Konoha's gates were not something one could expect to just magically spring into existence in the middle of the city.

She awkwardly readjusts her pink beanie, whistling at the sight before her. Just a few moments ago, she remembers being in the city, doing... something. She can't quite recall, now, but is sure that whatever she was doing wouldn't have ever resulted in her appearing, well, here. And here is something she associates with fantasy, and make-believe. The false but quite enjoyable side of life. Here is not a material place, but simply the imaginary setting for an imaginary tale of an imaginary, ninja boy.

So why the heck is she currently standing at its entrance?

She blows a bubble, sucks it into her mouth, and pops it, all the while trying to organise her muddled thoughts. It seems that the shock of suddenly appearing in a fictional place is a bit much for her to think around. Sighing, she plops herself onto the ground, uncaring of the dirt on the main path leading into Konoha, ignoring the annoyed looks from the travellers around her. She knows that it's not exactly a smart idea to sit right in the middle of traffic, but she can't find it in herself to care.

She rubs at her eyes, chewing her gum distractedly, irritated by the bright sunlight. In the city, tall, magnificent skyscrapers prevent the sun's glare from becoming too much of a problem, and air conditioning is the number one solution to all of summer's stifling heat. But in Konoha, situated in the middle of the Land of Fire and almost always portrayed with blue skies and cheery sunshine, heat is a given. Her sweater collar already sticks to her throat, and she has to roll up her sleeves for some relief.

Once she feels a little better, she rubs at her cheeks, trying to think of a reliable course of action. First things first: she needs to find out how she got here, then find her way back. It should be simple, except she can't really remember how she appeared here. The last thing she remembers doing is walking down the street, making a left on Fifth, taking her cellphone out to answer a call and slipping her earbud out of her ear to listen… And then nothing. The next thing she knows, she's stumbling forward from some unknown momentum, finding herself facing Konoha's gates.

Her gum has lost its flavor by now. The civilian travelers grumble about her disturbing the flow, and she rolls her eyes at them. They shouldn't be complaining. It's not like they were the ones going through a potential crisis right now. All they had to focus on was getting into Konoha. Her fingertips shake slightly as she digs into her pants pocket. Her uniform for school is ruined from gym, Arts, lunch, and now Konoha's dirt path. Hah! Her uniform got dirty because of Konoha. Boy, the kind of reaction she could get by telling this story to some of her friends would probably be worth more than a million dollars. Her hand snatches another stick of gum, and she replaces it by habit. Mmm, peppermint. Her favorite flavor. Okay, back to thinking about important things now.

Perhaps these aren't really Konoha's gates? Honestly, what are the odds that she was suddenly transported into a fictional universe? She laughs a bit, amused at her previous overreaction. Duh! Of course something like that didn't happen. Most likely, someone was crazy enough to recreate Konoha somewhere in the States. How she got there is still unknown, but first things first: she should ask for directions. Getting home is her first priority. Actually, before asking for directions, she should probably call her sister. Just to let her know that she would be late in picking up her younger sibling from school, seeing as she was magically teleported–or most likely kidnapped–to a wanna-be Konoha.

Feeling much better than before, she stands up, easily slipping on her messenger bag. Jeez, she must've been really out of it if she believed that this was actually Konoha. She laughs a little more, slapping a hand to her forehead. My goodness! It was as if logic left her for a few minutes back there.

She calmly walks away from the bustling crowd at Konoha's gates, finding some shade underneath a tree. There, she flips open the pouch on her bag's strap, slipping out her phone with practiced ease–

It falls right through her slippery fingers.

"Shit," she hisses. For a moment, she doesn't move, taking care to breathe in counts of eight. Her hands are trembling fiercer than she can ever remember, and her bottom lip is practically vibrating. She feels chilly all over, and her palms are starting to sweat. Goosebumps are traveling up her arms even though it's probably 400 degrees here, wherever here is, and that's another damn problem, because shit how did she even get here, how is she going to get home, where the fuck is here, she really can't deal with all this right now she has to go pick up her sister and holy fUCK–

Breathe in.

...6...7...8.

Breathe out.

...6...7...8.

Her hands are still shaking when she picks up her phone, and her knees feel as unbalanced as popsicle sticks, so she leans against the trunk of the tree she's currently under and tries to type in her sibling's number. She pushes the cloth of her beanie over her ear and places the phone against her sweaty cheek–it's surface is so cool, but it's going to be all sticky when she stops talking, she just knows it oh crap–and the call rings.

It fucking rings.

She nearly breaks down right there because yes signal thank god for signal.

Her chewing picks up speed with each ringtone, and her bubble pops before she can blow it into completion. She doesn't care too much about that right now, so she licks it back into her mouth and keeps chewing. It's...taking an awful long time for her sister to pick up. She usually can't get her sibling off the darn thing. Why is it taking so–

There's a click, and she breathes out in relief. "Oh my god, sis, are you okay? You won't believe–The thing is–Okay so I can't remember much but I'm in this weird place and I dunno how to get home–"

"It is not yet your time. Be patient. Be wise. Farewell until we contact each other again."

The call drops.

The phone drops.

And she gasps silently.

That was not the voice of her sister. That was not the voice of a seven year old. Seven? Her sister was seven years old? Or was she six? Oh fuck she can't remember the age of her sister, oh fuck she can't remember how she got to this place, oh fuck a man A GROWN MAN talked through the phone after SHE CALLED HER SISTER who has her sister is her sister safe–

Please, if there is a god out there, somewhere, or some strange supernatural being of awesome power, please let them have a kind heart and ensure her sister's safety, she could care less about whether or not she got teleported to fucking Konoha, but please let her sister be safe!

She blinks rapidly, the unfamiliar sensation of tears searing through her eyes making her even more uncomfortable. Okay, okay, she needs to calm down, she needs to calm down right now. She needs to find her way back to the city, she needs to get to her sister. She needs to save her sister. She does not have the time for a panic attack right now.

She tries to breathe in counts of eight again, but she can't seem to count correctly past five, and her breath wheezes slightly as it passes through her teeth, and her phone is lying innocently on the ground, right in front of her, right next to her left shoe, and it's glinting in the sunlight, and the sunlight is reflected into her eye, and she's hyper aware of everything and yet all she can think of is her sister, her sweet little sister, who is with a man an evil man what is he doing to her who has her phone–

She snatches up the cell, punches in her sister's number, and calls. It rings, and rings, and rings–

Click–

She's too scared to say anything but, for her sister, she needs to save her sister–

"H-Hello?"

"It is not yet your time. Be patient. Be wise. Farewell until we contact each other again."

The call drops.

She inhales hastily, the air getting trapped somewhere in her throat. She falls to her knees, too unsteady the world is spinning what's going on what what what–

Her thumbs move so fast across the screen of her mobile that she only registers what happened after the phone is at her ear, the dial tone beeping for the three-digit emergency line. Yes, she is calling the police. She hates the police, and doesn't believe in any kind of authority, but they are the only hope she has in finding out who has taken her sister and how she got to this strange Konoha-esque place–

Click–

"H-Hello? Officer, police people, someone kidnapped my sister and someone kidnapped me a-a-and–"

"It is not yet your time. Be patient. Be wise. Farewell until we contact each other again."

She's desperate for air, there's not enough air, she can't breathe–

She calls her sister–

Click–

"It is not yet your time. Be patient. Be wise. Farewell until we contact each other again."

She calls the police–

Click–

"It is not yet your time. Be patient. Be wise. Farewell until we contact each other again."

She calls her sister–

Click–

"It is not yet your time. Be patient. Be wise. Farewell until we contact each other again."

She calls her sister–

Click–

"It is not yet your time. Be patient. Be wise. Farewell until we contact each other again."

She calls–

Click–

Her sister–

"It is not yet your time. Be patient. Be wise. Farewell until we contact each other again."

Her sister–

"It is not yet your time. Be patient. Be wise. Farewell until we contact each other again."

Click–

"You have extended the allotted amount of usage for your cellular device. Shutting down."

Click–

I like to call this the "Realistic Occurence of Events If One Was To Be Transported into the Narutoverse" AU. Or, the "No-BS" AU. Or, "The Shit Is Real" AU. Yeah, I like that last one! Okay! This is now officially "The Shit Is Real" AU! Welcome all, to this wonderful, sarcastic, mostly-comical and borderline-dramatical adventure/pursuit of happiness while one is stuck in a world that encourages brainwashing, death, warfare, emotional manipulation of youngsters, totalitarian and dictatorial governments, politicking based on life-or-death scenarios in which the participants have no control over their own lives, slavery, PTSD, and wow I could go on FOREVER but yeah.

I just loooove the Narutoverse ^^ (no really I do, that wasn't sarcasm, I'm a total nerd for it. For most of it. For some of it-OKay so I'm not THAT much of a nerd for it as I should be, considering I'm writing fanfiction about it, but if I fuck anything up I will be depending on YOU, lovely reader(s), to tell me, since I can't edit out/in what I don't know.) Thank you very much for checkin' this out, and I hope to continue on with a relatively normal updating schedule though I wouldn't count on it seeing as college business life etc. Life. Liiiiiiiiiiife suuuuuuuuucks. Ciao ciao all!

Constructive criticism is much appreciated. I'll even take flames. I can't promise a regular updatcing scheduale because the last time I tried that my house burned down, my computer grew legs and went AWOL, and then my dog proved his ancestorial connection to Mr. Peabody by dancing the cha cha on my bed when I woke up one morning. (Okay, that's an exaggeration, but it's close enough.)