Gray and Natsu's new clandestine relationship has a few small issues: Natsu's never done this before and Gray hasn't told anyone about the sexual abuse in his past. They have to figure out how to be together, how to communicate, and how to be happy when one of them is a trauma survivor. {Gratsu story with smut. NO RAPE SCENES.} See Author's Note.

TRIGGER WARNING: for issues regarding adult survivors of childhood sexual assault including PTSD, flashbacks, panic attacks, sex after sexual assault, and other parts of healing. NO RAPE SCENES. Fic will contain consensual smut only.

A/N 1: Sorry this is a long note, but this is important. I'm writing this for myself and others who deal with this shit: nobody ever told me how to heal and I pretty much had to figure everything out for myself, especially sex. There will be a happy ending. But I will never, ever make a magical happy solution to rape. Being a survivor is for life.

Be kind in the comments regarding sexual assault and other sexuality issues.

A/N 2: This is technically a sequel to my previous Gratsu fic, The Love of Rivals (Gratsu pre-dating fluff and angst), but I've kept references to a minimum so you don't have to read that one first.

Chapter 1: An Awkward Start

Neither Gray nor Natsu had stayed over at each other's place yet.

Granted, they'd only been together a week, but Gray was used to things moving faster than that. However, the team had filled the week with jobs: all easy ones since Natsu was still healing, but back-to-back because Natsu was eager to fight again.

If they weren't careful, Natsu would run off and challenge an entire dark guild just to 'get back in the swing of things.'

Erza argued that taking Natsu on easy jobs meant they could at least control his environment and keep him from killing himself. Gray admitted it was a good strategy. But it meant the most contact he got with the fire mage besides the occasional two-minute make-out was sleeping next to each other doing nothing more than holding hands because they shared a room with Happy.

Happy was the single soul who knew about their relationship, but that didn't mean they could go making out in front of him.

Now they were back from their latest job and Erza had finally declared they were taking a day off.

"…unless," the requip wizard added, "Natsu does something reckless again. I have no qualms tying you to a bed until you're fully healed, especially if you make me chase after you on my day off. No running off, got it?"

"Yes," Natsu said meekly, and Gray knew he meant it—at least as much as a Dragon Slayer with a short attention span could promise such a thing.

Gray planned to keep him otherwise occupied, anyway.

"I'm heading home," he said, and Natsu immediately stood up as if he'd been about to say the same.

"Copycat." The Fire Dragon scowled. He'd gotten better at lying.

"I'm going to give Carla the fish I brought back," Happy said. Gray would've considered this fortuitous happenstance, but Happy had figured out it was best to give them time alone whenever he could.

The two wizards avoided each other until they attained the outdoors. After a few blocks, Natsu took Gray's hand, and since it was dark, Gray leaned in closer. They walked in companionable silence, Natsu kicking at every stray stone in his path like a happy kid.

It took a few blocks before Gray realized he'd automatically picked a direction.

"Uh, we're heading toward my place. Hope that's okay."

Natsu looked startled. "We're also heading toward my place."

"Mine has better tea," Gray said, as if that decided things. It also doesn't have a roommate.

"How do you know? I make fine tea."

"I've been to your house before; that's how I know. Just let me be good at tea and I'll let you be good at other things." Gray suddenly grinned. "Things like blushing when people mention sex."

"Do not!"

"Or squealing when someone kisses you."

"I'll make you squeal," Natsu retorted. Pulling them to a halt, he grabbed Gray's face in his hands and kissed him with fierce, hot lips. To Gray, it seemed Natsu was on fire, but the searing on Gray's skin was pleasant: a tingling heat that made him want more.

The sense of danger that they might be caught pumped adrenaline through him. The reason Gray wanted them to be a secret was that he wanted the Salamander all to himself. It was hard to explain, but he didn't want anyone to get in on this, to steal a piece of their relationship even if it was just a glimpse of them holding hands. The idea of sharing the truth made him feel fragile.

But at the moment, his body was telling him to keep kissing the Dragon Slayer, middle of the street or not.

Natsu ended it all too soon, coaxing them into walking once more. They were only a few blocks from home. For some reason, that made Gray's palms sweat.

"You're good at making out. I suppose I'll grant that," Gray joked.

"You damn well better. You're panting after just one kiss."

"You're good at eating all the available fire. You're also good at wearing too many clothes."

"What?" Natsu said. "We're wearing the same amount of clothes, droopy-eyes."

Gray looked down in genuine surprise.

"You're actually wearing more than me!" Natsu said, victorious.

Gray frowned. "How do you figure?"

"Um, I can count. Pants, boxers, shirt, and a jacket."

"How do you know I'm not going commando?"

Even in the darkness, Gray could see the color rise in Natsu's cheeks. Gray's grin split his face.

"Sometimes I dislike you," Natsu grumbled.

Gray laughed. He knew what this language meant. Natsu took great care never to say, 'I hate you,' to his boyfriend and it had turned into a joke.

"I 'dislike' you too, flame brain."

"Yeah, yeah, don't get mushy on me," Natsu said as they walked up to Gray's place. "Just unlock your damn door."

Gray's fingers shivered as he pushed open the door to the one-room flat. He went and hung his jacket up, moving slowly because it was something to keep his hands busy.

He didn't know how this worked: spending time with someone just to be with them, without any clear objective. That was why he preferred hook-ups—nice and clear-cut. But this…he didn't know what was expected of him.

While all this dashed through Gray's head, Natsu, in typical style, had flopped onto the lone sofa and made himself at home. Hearing a sniffling sound, Gray turned around frowning.

"Are you…smelling things?"

"Yeah. It's been ages since I've been here." Natsu waved a hand at the walls. "It smells like you."

"I do live here," Gray snorted, shoving Natsu's feet over so he could sit. Natsu immediately replaced his feet on Gray's lap. Gray was seriously considering this tantalizing offering for tickling when Natsu spoke again.

"You must not have people over very often."

"I guess not. What exactly do you smell?"

"Just you and life-related things." Natsu shrugged. "Noodles. Rice. Cabbage—gods, do you not eat any meat at all? Ice, of course. And sleep."

"Sleep has a smell?"

"Naturally," Natsu said, his expression saying this was a silly question.

He was playing with his pink hair unconsciously, fingers pulling the strands into spikes. It was such a normal gesture, one Gray had seen a thousand times, but now Natsu was lying on his couch, in his home. In this moment, the gesture belonged to Gray.

Leaning across the Dragon Slayer's body, he kissed Natsu's hot mouth again. Since this put him lying practically on top of Natsu, Gray wasted no time and loosened the Salamander's scarf, leaving a possessive hicky there. Natsu grunted in satisfaction.

Okay, maybe Gray did have a clear-cut objective.

Gray didn't usually notice when he became shirtless, but Natsu's hands undoing his buttons left a trail of needy fire down his chest. Before he could even process this, Natsu leaned in and bit him at the junction of neck and shoulder.

The sound that pulled out of Gray was formless and happy. The places where the Dragon Slayer's sharp canines dug in were like pinpoints of light. Gray breathed out, "Gods, shit, Natsu."

"You like being marked," Natsu grinned against his skin.

"Apparently," Gray replied. "Not like anyone's done that to me before."

Natsu's smile widened. He flicked fingers over one of Gray's nipples, getting more gratifying noises out of the ice mage. Fuck, he wanted the Salamander now.

Gray pulled at Natsu's clothing, getting them both shirtless before frotting against him roughly. Natsu threw his head back into the sofa, unable to moan. The look of ecstasy on the man beneath him had Gray's heart soaring. And they were still half-clothed.

"Gray," Natsu managed, eyes closed as he ran fervent hands over the ice mage's muscled torso and made shivers break out over Gray's skin. "Just FYI…I've never done this with a guy."

Gray had several smart comments on his tongue, from 'you have an awfully good handle on where to start,' to 'luckily you landed with a sex god.' He forced himself to stop and look the Salamander in the eye.

"I won't unless you want to," he said.

"Of course I want to," Natsu snorted, leaning in to swirl his tongue around Gray's mouth.

"Wait, wait," Gray spluttered. Natsu was making self-control difficult. "What do you want, specifically?"

"To be honest, I don't know." Natsu blushed. "Like I said, I've never done this before."

Gray could tell embarrassment was making Natsu want to look away, avoid his eyes, but he didn't: he faced Gray with all of his red-faced bluster.

He looked so strong.

"I have a few ideas," Gray murmured, kissing the fire mage's ear. "Of course, let me know at any point if you have an idea of your own."

"G-Gray."

Gray couldn't tell if the stutter in Natsu's voice was from nerves or the way Gray was nipping at his ear.

"Yes?"

There was a long pause.

"Go slow."

Chapter 2: (Past) The No Dating Rule