Disclaimer: Teen wolf does not belong to me in any shape or form – sad face – ANYWAYS this is officially the THRID BOOK? Crazy right? Haha, thanks so much for all your support in the last two books and hope you like this one just as much :)

Ba-bum… ba-bum… ba-bum…

That sound, so gentle yet full of life, was one she hadn't heard in forever. She felt it all around her, deafening her to the point where it almost became unbearable, overloading all her other senses.

Ba-bum… ba-bum… ba-bum-ba-bum-ba-bum-

She was smothered in darkness – darkness so cold it stung right down to her bones, a heavy weight pressing against her chest and forcing her deeper into the freezing depths.

… Was this just another trick? A game? Another form of the nogitsune's torture? She didn't know. She was confused. Shocked into submission. A painful knotting forming in her chest and it took a few moments to recognise what that feeling was.

Her lungs. Lungs that been torn from her body time and time again, over and over again, were needing air. For some strange reason it felt like she needed to breathe. Except dead people didn't breathe. Her lungs should not be feeling this way. Her organs, along with the rest of her body, should be nothing but gunk and bare bone, rotted away into nothing.

Ba-bum-ba-bum-ba-bum-ba-bum-ba-bum-

The tightness expanded, squeezing her entire numb body in its tight grasp, sharp shocks of agony seizing a hold of her and not letting go.

But she had been through worse than this – so much worse. She could handle this pain. It was nothing, just a minor inconvenience. She had been ripped apart and pieced back together time and time again, her mind invaded and torn to nothing but shreds. Whatever was happening she could handle.

… Except it felt different. She couldn't put her finger on it but she felt something like… desperation… surging through her entire being and that was a feeling she hadn't felt in a long time. She had long since given up at the idea of a peaceful ending, accepting her torturous fate.

Ba-bum-ba-bum-ba-bum-ba-bum-ba-bum-

Her body burned, the loud echo rattling around inside her head and it took her a few moments longer to process what that sound was, having not heard it for as long as she could remember.

It was like…

It was like her heart was beating?

Then just like that some instinct inside her snapped, the need to survive kicking in.

Dry and bloody lips tried to open, prepared to inhale a deep breath of some much needed oxygen only to choke on the linen encasing her entire body. Her limbs kicked out against the heavy confines of the dirt smothering her, trying desperately to escape her underground prison, nails breaking and chest exploding with pain as she slowly but surely suffocated.

No… no not like this. She was not losing… not again.

So she fought with strength she long thought gone, a burning desire for answers, for revenge, seeping through her entire being as the linen ripped, waves of dirt beginning to choke her as she squirmed and bucked, digging her way from her own grave.

But her resilience paid off.

Somehow a single hand broke free, the damaged and torn fingers stretching and aching for freedom, the bloody cuts stinging from the nippy night air.

Then the other hand followed suit, clinging to the mud and dirt as leverage to haul herself from the grave, choking on the clumps of soil in her nostrils and back of her throat as she pulled herself free, landing painfully atop the leaf covered ground gasping for breath, gagging and retching up bloody dirt that had scratched her throat.

This wasn't right. It wasn't possible. She was dead, she knew she was. She had spent years, forever really, alone and abandoned with him… with the nogitsune. That was the price she paid for doing the right thing. The price of love.

… Urgh.

She almost choked on that word, holding back a disgruntled snort.

Love? What a horrible concept, even just the thought alone made her sick.

Love got her nowhere except dead. Dead and in pain. You name it she felt it and all for what? For him?

She felt her face screw up in anger, shaky limbs pulling herself to her feet and glancing around, her vision a little blurry.

Yeah, that might have been because two minutes ago she didn't even have eyes – there was bound to be a bit of an adjustment period.

The wind was blustery, dark hair matted and caked with dry dirt flying in front of her face, a calculating frown tugging at her brows as she squinted through the eerie darkness.

Beacon Hills preserve.

Years may have passed for her, a whole infinity and beyond, but she could never forget this place. The place where all of this started. If only she stayed away, refused to move here then she might've been happy.

She would have never met her so called friends.

She would have never met him.

A hatred worse than anything she had ever felt before tugged and tore through her gut, her bottom lip curling as she fought back the urge to scream and lash out, all her uncontrollable anger and frustration hitting her all at once.

Not only was she dead because of them - for them even – but they dumped her in the woods like trash? Like she was nothing? Leaving her to rot and decay with the beetles, worms and maggots feasting on her like a damn Sunday roast… oh those bastards.

In the quiet overcast forest she let out a humourless chuckle which soon turned into a near manic laugh, those once dead eyes of hers lighting up that dark dangerous green.

"Oh just you wait… Payback's a bitch"

"We really didn't think this through" Isaac groaned, letting out a huff as he sat cross legged in the back of Stiles' Jeep, his long limbs cramped together, "we should've taken Camden's truck – at least that has like seven seats and is, you know, actually a reliable vehicle"

"Oh zip it bigfoot" Stiles rolled his eyes, "this Jeep has taken me many miles and it will take me many more"

"Don't jinx it" Isaac warned, "the last thing we need is to break down on the way to Mexico"

"Oh my god that was you that jinxed it, not me" Stiles cast his gaze in the rear-view mirror to see his head just behind Lydia, Kira and Malia in the backseat, probably not all that comfy sitting on the floor of his jeep but Stiles didn't care all that much, "and if you keep yapping then I'll turn off the back air con"

"Your jeep doesn't have air con Stiles" Isaac reminded him, "It blows out warm air"

"Can someone please just get him to shut up?"

"I will knock your heads together" Malia interrupted with a loud sigh, "and don't think that I won't"

Stiles smirked, "take my head out the equation and replace it with a solid brick wall and have at it"

He caught Isaac's glare and his smile widened just as Lydia rolled her eyes, giving them both the 'mom' look.

"Isaac this is why you're in the back – yours and Stiles' bickering does not need close proximity as well"

"I'm in the back seat because Scott is his best friend and you three are girls, my gentleman courtesy does exist you know"

Kira chuckled, "maybe we should stick on some music or something? Distract them"

"Good idea" Scott nodded, swivelling his head to Stiles, "where's your CD case?"

"Glove compartment" Stiles nodded to the small plastic compartment opposite Scott's knees before jumping back to the conversation they were having before Isaac started to get on his nerves, his eyes glancing from the road to the rear-view mirror, "so what happens if we can't find Derek? What next?"

Lydia shrugged, "look for another lead I guess"

"If the Calaveras don't have him then literally anyone else that Derek has an enemy could – in case you didn't know the Hales have a lot of enemies"

He was sure Lydia smirked, "I'm aware. Kay still had that feud with that girl from kindergarten over the last blue crayon"

Stiles smiled a little despite the fresh blossom of pain hitting the centre of his chest, his smile wavering a little. It still hurt, of course it did, but he was now actually coping and not just pretending he was. He felt like he finally got a bit of his life back.

"Scott, bud, what's the hold up?" he questioned, hearing Scott go still next to him, "Not find any good tunes? Cos I haven't cleaned out that compartment in like months. Years probably. In fact I'm pretty sure I still have the spicegirls CD-" he heard a faint snort from Isaac at that, "-and you can all now forget I said that"

But still Scott never answered and he glanced over at him, frowning a little at his best friend's slack look.

"Uh… Scott? What is it? What's the matter?"

Sad yet shocked eyes slid over to meet his curious and worried gaze, his hands tightening around the steering wheel subconsciously.

"When, uh… when was the last time you looked in here?"

"A few months maybe" he shrugged, quickly glancing at the road and then back to Scott, "the damn handle is broken, why?"

"Um…" his best friend fidgeted a little, sharing a worried look with their friends in the back, "there's a… a letter"

"A letter?" Stiles questioned, totally flummoxed, "from who?"

Scott paled even more, those big brown eyes saddening, "I'm pretty sure it's from Kayla"

And if Stiles wasn't trying so hard to be stable in his life then he would've swerved off the road at that statement, his eyes widening.

"She's dead Scott"

"I know" he nodded as a painful rip tore his chest open, his heart starting to thunder against his ribcage, "I think she left this before she did. A just in case…"

His breathing laboured a little, his teary gaze facing the road head on as an uncomfortable silence settled over the jeep, no one really knowing what to say.

"Well? Aren't you going to read it?"

Except Malia of course.

"We uh… we don't have time" he dismissed quietly, the happiness that was once present getting slowly drained from him, "we have to save Derek"

"We can make time if you want" Scott whispered, "if it's important to you…"

"Of course it's important to me. She was important to me, still is" he said immediately, determinedly focused on the endless stretch of road ahead, "but she's gone and Derek… Derek might not be. We could still save him" he slowly twisted his head to the side to meet Scott's gentle gaze, "like we should've saved them"

Allison, Aiden, Kayla. The three they all wanted back but were too late. They were always too late… but not this time. Stiles wouldn't allow it.

Scott flinched a little but cast his stare downward to the slightly crumpled white envelope with his name messily scrawled across it, "if you wanted… I could read it to you?" sensing Stiles' nerves, how badly he really did want to see Kayla's parting message but fear and apprehension paralysed him, not ready to throw himself into the deep end, "unless you want it to stay private…"

He bit his lip, flicking his gaze between Scott's soft stare and the road, his palms getting sweaty and sliding off the steering wheel.

Did he really want to hear this? He was just starting to be okay again, to be whole once more… if he heard this… If he knew what she wrote as goodbye would he ever let himself heal again? But if he didn't he knew it would just plague his mind day and night until he had to read it. He was in a lose-lose situation.

Stiles gulped noisily, giving an almost unnoticeable nod.

"A-Alright" he whispered, not even caring they had an audience, "okay"

Scott sent him a small smile, fingers gently ripping at the envelope before he pulled a folded up bit of paper from it and even from here Stiles could see Kayla's messy but readable writing, her g's, j's and y's overdone, leaking down into the next line of writing.

"Alright… here goes…" his best friend whispered and Stiles could sense the tension in the small cramped jeep, everyone waiting with baited breath as Scott unfolded the paper, curious gaze skimming over the written words.

"Stiles,

Stiles Stilinski. My Stiles Stilinski. My guy" he bit his lip painfully, holding back the tears that wished to fall, "I don't even know where to start. Having to put pen to paper is the hardest thing I have ever done... Having to write to you not knowing the outcome." He knew the outcome. The outcome was her not here, her dead, because of him. It was the worst possible end to their story, "Not even knowing if you will ever read it, or if I'm there to read it with you. God I feel so stupid because a simple bit of paper doesn't do what I say justice, it doesn't do us justice. There's so much I want to say to you right now. To tell you I'm sorry... To thank you... To tell you everything is going to be okay... To say I love you one last time, just in case"

'You did Kaylz' he said silently, the words spinning around inside his head, 'I was holding you and you said it. You showed me how much I meant to you and I will forever love you for that'.

I don't know when or where you're reading this but I hope everything's okay. I hope you're okay. I hope you're doing better - moving on, living your life. All I've ever wanted is for you to be okay, to be happy. I know it's hard, it seems impossible but a year from now? I'll just be a memory. Two years? You probably won't remember the shade of my hair or the size of my shoes. Ten years? I'll just be a hazy image in the back of your head" Impossible – he would never let that happen, not ever, "You'll think about me less and less until it doesn't hurt anymore, until one day you'll just think of me as the girl you used to love until she left. You'll have moved on, wife, kids, a good job. You'll fall in love again, maybe several times, and I should be more disappointed about that, jealous even, but I'm not. You deserve the best, you deserve loving someone that's alive and can love you back, something I can't give you if you're reading this. I came to terms with what was going to happen a long time ago and you should too"

He never would because it was him here, living his life in constant pain and sadness… sometimes he thought the dead got let off easy – they didn't have to deal with the consequences their death left behind. They didn't feel pain or grief. They were finished.

"Don't be sad. We've wasted too much of our lives being sad. Think of all the happy times we shared. All the times Derek threatened to kill you because we held hands. The time you surprised me by taking me to the Grand Canyon. Milly's diner and all those dates. How you could just look at me and make me feel so special and loved, like you saw me, the real me that no one else did. Like at dance where we just let ourselves be free. Or during that horribly sappy slow song at the end and you just held me. Nothing unusual about it but I remember thinking in that moment that I had never felt safer and that was in the arms of a human boy. You made me feel that Stiles. You made me fall helplessly and hopelessly in love with you. You made me feel so many things that I would never give up, not for the world. I would rather have a short life with you in it than a long life without you"

'And I would rather have you over everything…' he thought sadly, burning tears prickling his eyes, his vision blurring as he tried to stay focused on the twisted road ahead.

"And maybe that's selfish of me, wishing for nothing but you to be safe. Believe me I've thought of the possibility of me dying from every angle and every single time I think about how sad and broken you'll be a part of me dies inside. I never want to make you sad Stiles. I know how cut up you'll be. I know that it may even effect you for a very very long time after this, but I have faith in you – always have, always will. You're strong. You'll heal. You'll get over me one day. And if I'm being truthful that thought absolutely crushes me because there's nothing I want more than that stupid sappy future with you… cute house, big lawn, kids, two dogs… maybe a part of me has always wanted that, wanted normal, and I have it with you. And what we have is pretty damn special don't you think?... but if I'm dead then you will have to eventually get over me, you understand that don't you? Holding onto the past isn't healthy, especially a past that can never be got back"

His throat ached, a torrent of silent tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Don't blame yourself. Everything I've ever done has been my own choice. You told me to run, to leave town but I couldn't do that. I'm not going to run, I'm not going to be safe because you need me one last time and you mean everything to me. My death? It's not your fault and it will never be your fault. It's my own choice to stay and fight and it will be worth it when you come out of this alive... When we save you and that's all that matters to me. It's all I can concentrate on. Everything else just fades to the background, completely out of focus.

And yes I know, sap alert, but this may well be my deathbed letter, I can be cringey and gooey and sappy if I want to, especially if I'm, well… dead. Deceased. Gone. Yada, yada, yada – okay, sorry, that was terribly inappropriate, my bad"

He chuckled, sniffing before wiping his nose with the back of his hand.

"What I'm trying to say is… thank you. Thank you for giving me my life back. For making me so incredibly happy it was actually borderline ridiculous. Thank you for loving me when, at times, I couldn't love myself. For sticking with me and my 100 tonne baggage. You have a bright future Stiles and I'm so damn sorry I don't get to be a part of it… because we would've had a pretty awesome one if I do say so myself.

So do what you need to - cry, grieve, get mad, be angry at me, but I need you to do something for me, one last favour?

I need you to live.

And I don't mean just by breathing. I don't want you just existing. I want you to live. Be Stiles Stilinski, the funny, caring, sarcastic little shit I fell in love with. Live Stiles... For me.

And just remember... I will always be there with you, always. I will never stop loving you. Till the end of the road remember?

Goodbye… all my love,

Your Kaylz Xxx"

Scott finished with gently, his own cautious gaze brimming with tears and Stiles couldn't face meeting anyone's gazes, his shoulders shaking a little as he held back his cries, feeling the hot saltwater streaming down his cheeks.

He didn't know if hearing that made it better or worse, especially when he could hear as clear as day Kayla's voice saying those words, whispering them in his ear.

… Wasn't it funny how a simple letter could fuck up all his progress? Feeling himself break apart on the inside.

But he had to keep it together – Derek needed them now, he needed their heads in the game. He had already lost three people; he wasn't about to lose another one – even if that person was Derek. So he just took a few seconds to choke back his tears, lifting a hand and scrubbing it down his face, wiping at his damp cheeks until they reddened, stare flickering to the letter still grasped in Scott's hands.

"Yeah…" he said quietly, his voice getting lost to the saddened atmosphere, "love you too…"

"You sure know how to treat a girl" she snorted, crossing her arms in amusement, "didn't even offer me a drink first"

The hunter snarled, nodding down to the knife at her feet, "you know what to do"

She picked it up, spinning it around in her grasp, "I just got back from being dead for two months, if you think I'm going to willingly stick this in my throat then you have another thought coming cutie"

Okay, rewind. Turns out she wasn't as alone as she thought. Not long after she dug herself free from her grave did she get ambushed by a group of well-trained expert hunters and she was too slow – being dead just minutes before that obviously playing a massive part – and the next thing she knew she woke up in Mexico, trapped in a basement as her strength slowly came back to her.

The guy behind the door narrowed his eyes, "you know it's the right thing to do… when people die, they should stay dead"

"Do I look dead to you?"

He cast his gaze over her body, "whoever or whatever brought you back did a good job I'll give them that but you being here… it's wrong" he stated, "so do us all a favour and restore order… go back to being a rotting corpse"

Not a chance in hell. She was back and she was damn well going to take advantage of it.

"I like this look better thanks" she smirked, "but if you really want me dead, why don't you come in here and try it?" she challenged, "come on tough guy, I'm a dead girl, it shouldn't be too hard"

"Don't tempt me" he growled, face screwed up in anger and distaste.

"Oh but I am" she purred, gaze drilling holes through his skull as she let her eyes flash that deep green, locking stares with him, "I asked you nicely… come in here and try it"

His eyes glazed over, the compulsion in her voice stronger than ever and it didn't take long for that vague look to cross his face, his hand dropping to slowly fiddle with the locks and bolts on the door and she smiled, excitement bubbling in her chest.

"That's right" she smiled widely, stepping forward as he pulled back the sliding door, "I'm right here… Do. Your. Worst"

Because she didn't care, as simple as that. She actually found it amusing they thought they could keep her locked away and force her into suicide. No. She came back stronger, more powerful and with none of those annoying pesky 'feelings' to impair her judgement. Hell burned away every shred of sanity she had, stripping her of empathy and emotions.

And it was fantastic.

The guy tried to rush her, his burly body almost ploughing straight into her but Kayla just continued to smirk, sliding to the right and grabbing him around the back of his neck, her dainty arms slowly but surely choking the life from him.

"I know, I know it hurts, shhhh" she whispered in amusement, tightening her grip even more as his face started to turn red, "it'll be over soon… I'm cutting off oxygen going to your brain, you'll feel it… feel yourself slowly slipping and it will terrify you but you know something?" she laughed a little, holding his squirming body still, "I don't care. I feel nothing and it's rejuvenating" she added loudly, twisting his neck painfully to the side as he floundered, desperately trying to claw her off but she was too strong, weakening him into submission, "for the first time in forever I'm free and I'm going to do… whatever… I… want…" she pronounced slowly, getting a sick sense of enjoyment as his cheeks turned even redder, lips darkening to a nasty shade of blue when she decided she had had enough. Bored now. She needed better entertainment. There wasn't exactly a lot of fight left in this guy… she wanted a challenge, something fun to play with.

So, without even hesitating she just twisted his neck so forcefully to the side she heard the snap in his spine, head completely disfigured back to front as he pitched to the ground as lifeless as a rock at her feet.

"Hmmm" she observed, tilting her head curiously to the side, "love it. Neck snapping, straight to the point, can't beat it" she murmured with a smirk, "now please can someone get me a coffee – being dead is exhausting"

A/N) OKAY IMMA NOT LIE THAT LETTER KILLED ME and oooooh kayla be in mexico same time as everyone else… oooooh fireworks happening at the reunion haha AND OMG ALSO a lot of this seasons humour is actually gonna be due to Kayla – like shes gonna be laidback with a side of psychoticness and playfulness – kinda similar to Harley quinn-ish but also totally badass haha anyways HOW DID YOU LIKE THE FIRST OPENING CHAPTER hope it was alright haah so eager to hear what you think so drop a review and I will see ya real soon x