Notes/Warnings: wingfic, canon-typical violence, mentions of depression, angst with a happy ending.

Pairings: Roy Harper/Jason Todd, Cassandra Cain/Stephanie Brown, other implied or ambiguous pairings.

["Succiduous"- falling, in the process of falling]

He couldn't breathe. It felt like his chest was collapsing into itself, and Jason choked on a mouthful of blood. He could hear the Joker's insane cackles, but he was determined not to react. He wasn't going to give this bastard anything.

"What's the matter, little birdie? Not up for a conversation with good ol' Uncle Joker?"

The freak's gloved hand roughly grabbed his hair, wrenching his head up. Jason just breathed slowly through his nose, eyes involuntary slipping closed when the Joker tried to make eye contact with him.

"Oh, come on now! That's not very nice, you know."

His head was slammed against the concrete, and Jason almost bit through his tongue when stars erupted in his vision.

"F-fuck you," he spat out, unable to take it anymore.

The Joker tutted disapprovingly. Even though Jason couldn't see his face from this angle, slumped forward on his stomach with his arms tied behind him, he could perfectly imagine the deranged grin the madman was sporting.

"How rude," he mock-scolded, and Jason involuntarily flinched when the man's hands, already sticky with drying blood clinging to them, latched onto his wings and pulled.

Jason let out a startled, pain-filled scream. He lashed out, wings flaring out in an attempt to escape the punishing grip.

No! He should have known. The Joker had been so careful this whole time, making sure to never touch his wings directly, not even striking the back muscles responsible for controlling them with that goddamned crowbar. And now he knew why. Unsurprisingly, it wasn't because there was a few lines even the Joker wouldn't cross, the wings that represented a human's very soul being one of them. No, he had just been waiting until it would make the biggest impact.

The final punchline.

Jason let out a choked sob as the Joker kept yanking backwards, ripping and tearing in a way that made bones crack, feathers falling to the concrete floor beside him.

Jason opened blurry eyes to see one of them flutter to the ground next to his head, and he could feel tears dripping down his face. It was deep black, though he could see the smallest hint of brown speckles underneath.

He'd always loved his wings. They were the only thing he allowed himself to be vain over. His wingspan was huge, a fact belied by his own short stature. And when they weren't covered in dirt and dust, they were a beautiful, magnificent shade of red. They had to be dyed when he was out on patrol, but he knew what they really were. They were a representation of his soul, of who he really was.

That's why he'd always been so proud of them. Because plumage like that wasn't the type you'd expect on a street rat from Crime Alley- they were the kind of pretty wings you'd see on Robin. On a hero.

But now the Joker was pulling out a knife and his surroundings were already full of bloodied feathers and his mother was tied to a post across from him, shrieking at the Joker to stop you're going to kill him this was not part of our deal stop!

Jason took a deep, shuddering breathing as the Joker began to cut and then all he could hear was screaming.

/=\

"Jason, WAKE UP!"

He burst into wakefulness, hand closing around the gun under his pillow and fear still racing through his veins. He almost clocked the intruder in the face, but the sight of her viciously bright red hair and concerned expression managed to stop him right in time.

"Sasha," he acknowledged, taking a deep breath in an attempt to put off his imminent heart attack. "Did I wake you?"

His teenaged partner (they both preferred that title- there was no way in hell Jason was going to take on a sidekick) shook her head, worry clear in the way she bit her lip as she stared at him.

"No… I've been awake for awhile. It's already afternoon."

Jason frowned, reflexively checking the time. Yep, it was a bit past three.

"Damn it," he scrubbed at his face, avoiding Sasha's gaze. This had been happening more often than not, lately. Red Hood and Scarlet would go out on a late-night patrol, get back around four in the morning, and then Jason Todd wouldn't wake up for hours.

He… honestly wasn't sure why. He'd just been sleeping the days away, sometimes not waking up until Sasha would get hungry and need dinner. His life seemed to be blurring into an endless cycle of patrol-food-sleep that made him lose stretches of time.

Jason fucking hated it. Sasha deserved so much better than that, didn't deserve to deal with all of his bullshit, especially when she had already given up so much to help him and his thankless work as an almost-legal vigilante.

"I was gonna just let you sleep, but…" she trailed off, fidgeting as Jason finally turned his gaze towards her, patiently waiting for an answer. "Well, you were screaming. I couldn't just leave you like that."

Jason sighed. Figures, he was causing trouble to his teenaged charge even when he was asleep. He wondered how many other times he'd distracted her, or woken her up after a tiring patrol that she'd been too nice to mention.

"I'm sorry, Jason," Sasha said quietly, expression miserable like she thought she'd done something wrong.

"No, no," he rushed to reassure her, taking her hand and giving it a comforting squeeze. "You have nothing to be sorry over. I was having a bad dream, thank you for waking me."

Her expression brightened, and she beamed at him.

Fuck, he was so bad at this. He could barely take care of himself, let alone anyone else. That's why he'd wanted Sasha to stay with Roy, after the Outlaws (kind of) broke up, but she had vehemently refused. And he didn't get why. She loved Lian, and tolerated Roy, and there she would be able to actually live. Go to school, have friends her own age instead of surviving on the sparse lessons Jason was able to give her in-between jobs and the few sidekicks he managed to arrange training sessions with for her. Sasha would be better off with Roy, hell she'd be better off with Bruce. But she insisted on staying with him.

Jason couldn't understand it. In the aftermath of that kidnapping incident a few months ago, her Dollotron mask had been ripped off, thankfully leaving her with little injury. Jason figured after that, she would want to try having a normal life again- well, as normal as someone in their circle could, but she'd showed no signs of wanting to leave.

She was still painfully shy and incredibly vicious in turn, hesitant when faced with a civilian and brutal with criminals, so brilliant and insightful that it sometimes made his heart ache from nostalgia of days long passed, and Jason was selfishly glad that she stayed.

"Well, since we're both awake, do you want to watch a show with me?" she said brightly, gripping his hand so tightly he thought his heart could burst from the emotions it evoked.

Jason groaned theatrically, "You're gonna make me watch the Super Friends again, aren't you?"

It was a stupid cartoon based on flimsy imitations of the Justice League, but it still managed to rake in millions of viewers, Sasha being one of them. Jason insisted that he only watched it for the irony, but he secretly found it pretty entertaining. It was action-oriented with very little actual plot, but there was some pretty good one-liners, and Jason had always been a fan of the cheesy stuff. Not to mention, their Wonder Woman character was a total badass, and he was almost as enamored of her as he was of the real thing.

"Hey, I watch your telenovelas!" Sasha protested. "And those are way more ridiculous than my shows!"

"Guilty," Jason shrugged, and he stretched as he got off the spare bed. As always, his shoulder blades itched, an ache beginning to manifest from a combination of overuse and underuse. He ignored it easily, having had many long years of practice.

"Hurry, hurry!" Sasha chanted, racing into the little kitchen area this safe house had in order to turn on their tiny TV. Jason ambled after her, yawning widely. He sat at the kitchen table, smiling at the joyous expression on her face. She tried so hard to be serious, it was nice to see her have simple enjoyment over things like this.

As always, his eyes were unconsciously drawn to her wings. They were laying limp, practically dragging along the floor even as she settled down in a stool right in front of the television.

Sasha's wings had a subtle kind of beauty. They were a multitude of different shades of brown, the color layering down until the tips of her feathers were almost yellow. But of course, the pretty colors were never the first thing someone paid attention to. No, they always focused on the fact that both her wings were bent at awkward angles, the primary feathers completely torn out. While in the loving care of Professor Pyg, her wings had been brutally mutilated. She would never be able to fly.

The two of them were the same, in that way.

During a commercial, before which their heroes had been left dangling precariously above a pit of molten lava filled with 'lava sharks' (seriously) Jason stood, scratching the back of his head as he questioned whether he had enough fruit to make a smoothie.

After a quick inspection, the answer was clearly 'yes'. They had a lot of fruit. A suspicious amount of fruit, actually. Jason did not remember buying all this fruit.

Internally, he shrugged. It was probably just Roy, being a meddlesome idiot as usual. Ever since the guy had gotten over his initial panic attack of 'oh god Jason, Kori, I have a kid, what the hell do I do with a child, am I supposed to feed it?', he'd started mothering everyone else as well. Jason still insisted that was the real reason the Outlaws mainly stuck to their own territories now. He and Kori just couldn't take the incessant needling anymore.

Reaching up, he took the blender out of the cabinet and plugged it in.

"Hey, I'm gonna make a smoothie," he said absentmindedly, "you want one?"

"Sure!" Sasha nodded, before her eyebrows drew up in confusion. "Wait, since when did this safehouse have a blender? For that matter, since when have we had a blender at all?"

"We didn't," Jason admitted shamelessly. "Until I stole this one from Roy, that is."

"What, seriously?" she laughed, turning in her chair to face him. "What did you do, smuggle it out underneath your shirt?"

"I put it in my duffle bag. Then I told Roy not to open it under any circumstances, because I had a bunch of severed heads in it."

"You're the worst," Sasha choked out, shoulders shaking with laughter. "He's gonna be so annoyed once he figures it out. He knows you'd never have anything like that with you when you're around Lian!"

Jason smirked, chopping up fruit to dump in the blender, "Nah, he won't get mad. He'll just pout about being fooled, then whine about it to me for weeks until the next time I trick him."

"The worst."

"What can I say?" he shrugged, flashing her a winning smile. "It's just part of my charm."

"I guess someone has to think so," she rolled her eyes, before perking up suddenly. "Hey, speaking of Roy! He called earlier, while you were asleep. Wanted to remind you about that 'team reunion' tomorrow night?"

This time, Jason was the one tempted to roll his eyes.

"He does this every week," he grumbled, though good-naturedly. "You'd think he would have a little faith in my punctuality by now."

"Ah, you know he worries," she teased.

"Yeah, I think the entire planet knows."

"About you, though. Specifically."

He did roll his eyes at that, "Whatever helps you sleep at night, Sasha."

She'd been not-so-subtly hinting for months that Roy had… non-platonic feelings for him. Which was ridiculous. And made him way too hopeful, so he did his best to shut down that line of conversation as soon as possible.

"Well, he said he texted you before calling, so you might wanna check your phone for a string of Grumpy Cat gifs, but he mainly just wanted to know if I wouldn't mind babysitting Lian."

"Wait, he wants to go out this time?" Jason said, speaking louder so that he could be heard over the sound of the whirring blender.

"I guess so! He didn't say where, though. I'd bring a jacket, just in case."

"Alright," he shrugged, turning the machine off and grabbing two cups to dump the mushy goop in. "Makes no difference to me. Kori will stop me if I'm about to do something stupid."

Sasha just hummed as she took her smoothie, studiously not saying anything.

Jason sensed a mutiny.

He was about to interrogate her as to what she and Kori had been plotting when he wasn't looking, but he was distracted when the show came back on. Sasha immediately returned her attention to it, watching intently as she sipped her drink.

"Oh, don't forget," she mumbled. "We have to get going soon. We're supposed to head to the Manor for dinner later."

Jason almost spewed out his disgustingly healthy smoothie, "Shit, was that today?"

"Yup."

He cursed again, eyeing the nearby window with deep longing. In an attempt to coerce everyone into getting along again, Alfred had begun to enforce monthly family dinners. They actually happened weekly, but Jason was able to beg off going most times on the account that he was still recovering from the Pit's influence (which was mostly untrue), and that he was afraid Tim might poison his food (which was definitely true). Forget Damian, Tim was the real terrifying one in the family.

But he hadn't been able to get out of this one, since a new family member was being officially brought into the fold. There had been a big gala around noon to welcome him, but Jason obviously couldn't go, seeing as "Jason Todd, second ward of billionaire Bruce Wayne", was legally dead. It made it really hard to get invited to the good parties, at any rate.

"Ugh," he let his head fall onto the table, groaning pitifully. "Think there's still a chance to flee the country?"

"Alfred would find you," Sasha said simply. "He would find you, and drag you back to the Manor by your ear. Then he'd guilt-trip you into staying for at least a week. I know how you work, Jay, and so does he."

Dammit. She was totally right. Jason had always been a sucker for Alfred. One disapproving look from him had been enough to make him apologize to Dick for one of his (many) attempted stabbings. Dick had been extremely gracious about the whole thing of course, which just made it worse. And he had then proceeded to hold it over Jason's head for months on end, using it as a way to end all of their arguments- "You tried to stab me!", the jackass.

He could already feel the headache building up.

"Fine," he said, trying valiantly not to sound like he was pouting. "Once this episode is over, we better get going. Don't wanna be late."

She grinned knowingly, before clapping her hands in excitement, "Oh! Can we take the bike?"

Jason considered it. True, his motorcycle wasn't the most 'street legal', and probably had a few bloodstains on it if you cared to look, so that wouldn't do much for his reputation. But on the other hand, it would most definitely piss off Bruce.

"Hell yeah! We are totally gonna take the bike."

Sasha cheered, and Jason smiled smugly. He was gonna drive Bruce to an ulcer, one way or another.

Notes:

This is basically a mash-up of a bunch of different canons, so that's why some things might seem a bit weird timing-wise. But this an AU already, so who cares? Oh, and just as a heads up: I hc Jason as Latinx and Roy as half Navajo, so that's what they are in this fic- I didn't get a chance to go into it that much, but it's there. Also, this is crossposted on AO3 under the same username.

Please review!