Beta: wonderful Nikki ( chenamila at tumblr )

Artist (partner in crime): amazing Annie ( maniacani at tumblr )

Link to pictures: maniacani . tumblr post/151145717313/

Rating: NC-15

Warnings: language, graphical description of violence, slow burn

Genre: fantasy (RPG!AU)

Word count: ~ 55 000

A/N: I present you RPG!MiSawa AU for daiyabigbang at tumblr. It was fun writing it, even if my writer's block decided to try to interfere. Someone may notice that it's in the same universum as my other fic, Over the hills and far away, but reading the other fic is not needed to understand this one.

I was paired with amazing, sweet artist Annie. Not only she drew beautiful pictures, but she had lot of questions, which helped me with the fic (btw if she ever starts to make clothes, I'm calling dibs on Miyuki's coat - I want one like the one she drew!). Also, big thanks to my beta, Nikki, who made this fic readable. Thank you so much, girls, for helping me with this story!

I'd like to thank TG too for hosting this event and being very understanding about changing dates of posting this story.

In the end I want to thank everyone who will read this fic. I hope you will like it. Please, visit Annie and Nikki's blogs, to thank them for their hard work.

Live to tell the tale

Sawamura was following the small lancer (Call me Haruichi) to the place when the entrance exam was going to take place, his head turning left and right so fast it was a miracle his neck hadn't snapped yet.

The whole capital was something different than the village Sawamura had grown up in, but the Gild was simply awesome. Sawamura could feel how the whole place was pulsing with magic; and the presence of so many warriors was making his head dizzy. It was the first time he was feeling so much power around himself and it made him feel alive.

The Gild was a complex of big, stony buildings without many decorations. Behind every building was a field to practice, surrounded by magical barrier – it was shining in the sunlight with a soft, yellow glow. After passing the main gate, Sawamura and Haruichi were walking along with the crowd, avoiding going through the main ground of the Gild. Instead, they were lead (or more like Sawamura was being lead, because Haruichi seemed to know where was he going) left, to a field lying at the side of the Gild. Still, Sawamura could see the roofs of the dorm buildings behind the main practice fields – he'd heard there was a small park with a swimming pond behind dorms.

Every building looked sturdy, strong as if it had been built to survive wars. Utilizing all his historical knowledge, Sawamura knew that was true. At first the city of Ankur, before it had became a capital, was a small military town. A bastion to protect borders of Niho. After the country started to expand , the town began to grow bigger too. Soon, it needed more space than protection the Gild building could provide. Ankur had been surrounded by a heavy wall, leaving the old military building for a newly created school for warriors.

"Eijun-nini," Haruichi pulled on Sawamura's sleeve. "Can you see them?"

Sawamura looked around himself, but he couldn't see any familiar faces.

When Master Rei had arrived with Sawamura yesterday to Ankur, she had left Sawamura in a small motel with rooms booked for kids wanting to attend the Gild. It had been then when he had met Haruichi. The lancer was actually the first to talk with Sawamura, after he almost gotten into a fight with some big kid bullying someone else. The way Haruichi solved the conflict was impressive; Sawamura hadn't even noticed when he had been sitting at the table with Haruichi and his friends, instead of teaching that asshole a lesson. Or trying to.

"No, I can't see them. Maybe they are at the front of queue?"

Barely those words left Sawamura's lips, he felt the familiar auras behind himself. Both he and Haruichi turned immediately to see Furuya and Kanemaru walking towards them.

"There you are!" Kanemaru sighed. "I started to think you decided to quit."

"You wish!" Sawamura grinned at the lancer. "I told you, I'm going to become the best paladin in the country!"

"Sure," Kanemaru snorted. "Have luck with beating one of the Gild Sixth." Then he turned to Haruichi, waving his hand between himself and Furuya. "What took you so long? We've been waiting here for ages."

"We took a wrong turn and, later, it was hard to move too fast in that crowd, Shinji-nini." Haruichi looked up – Sawamura still was trying to figure out how Haruichi could see anything from behind that thick, pink curtain he called his fringe. "Looks like the whole city wants to see entrance exam."

"…Not the whole city," Furuya murmured quietly , adjusting the bow on his back. "But it is quite a lot of people."

All of them nodded. There were many wannabe students with them, but it seemed as if the audience were six or even seven their size. And they were looking at Sawamura and his new friends, pointing at them, and whispering amongst themselves. Of course, it was easy enough to tell they were going to try pass the exam – all of them had been issued a standard set of clothes for the exam and were wearing them already.

Sawamura didn't even try to pretend he didn't feel good in his new clothes. Both his brown trousers and blouse was made from hard, but soft material. He had gotten a few parts of paladin's suit of armour too: silver breastplate, epaulieres, scubitieres and (surprise) silver graves. The sword blacksmith Tanaka had made for Sawamura, before he had gone to Ankur, was heavy on his back, reminding him about what was going to happen.

He wouldn't lie, he was nervous. But more than that Sawamura couldn't wait for the exam. He couldn't wait for it since master Rei visited him three years ago to check his magical powers. She had insisted on sending him to the Gild, while Sawamura's parents hadn't been sure if that was a good idea.

'After all,' Sawamura thought grimly, ' People die during this training.'

Five years. Five whole years of studying, practicing control over his powers, and going on missions, before the final exam, when he would be paired up with a magician to test them both.

Sawamura himself had been sure he wanted to attend the Gild, and after Master Rei had taken him to Ankur, he knew he had to come back here again.

Absentmindedly, Sawamura touched the necklace his mother gave him. It was a habit to play with it every time he felt that pull of magical power – like now.

It was hard to explain and weird, and Sawamura couldn't even bring himself to talk about it with his parents, but since… well, always, he had been feeling something. It was as if someone out there was waiting for him, as if his own magic powers were trying to reach for something. But for what? It was already weird enough that that he was a paladin, while his parents were a healer and a summoner – by all laws he should magician - so Sawamura didn't want to voice aloud another weird thing about him.

Putting a fake smile on his face and trying to sound cheerful, Sawamura laughed.

"Good! Let them stare at the future star of Niho!"

"So noisy," someone said suddenly at Sawamura's left. There was an older man in the civil clothes of a knight, looking at their little group with bored expression. "You won't last a day at the Gild… if you even pass the exam."

Sawamura felt his face grow hotter.

The guy wasn't alone; he was accompanied by another man, much taller, who was wearing dark glasses. The other guy was dressed in the usual paladin's suit of armour, his face closed. Yet, when he spoke, there was reprimand in his voice.

"Professor Ochiai, the exam hasn't even started yet." Then he looked at Sawamura, as if judging his abilities. "This kind of attitude can be helpful in small doses."

"You're too soft, professor Kataoka."

Professors? Sawamura gulped. He had almost told that Ochiai guy to go to hell… Although, it looked as if Ochiai had an opinion about him already, so why not tell anything? But under the unreadable gaze of the other professor, Sawamura felt a weird feeling of wanting to behave his best.

When Kataoka spoke again, this time he addressed their whole group.

"You are supposed to split into groups with your specialization. Paladin will go with me and the rest with professor Ochiai."

They all nodded, because what else they were supposed to do? Telling each other to "do well!", Sawamura went after Kataoka, feeling uneasy. The professor didn't say anything to him though, merely calling to all other paladins to join them. That was distracting. Hadn't master Rei told him that their guides would try to cheer them up, give them pointers or something?

The professor led them to the exam field, which was surrounded by a blue barrier. That made Sawamura furrow his eyebrows in confusion. Why were the rest of the barriers gold, but not that one?

The field is circular, with trodden ground. It's so big that the four groups of warriors (paladins, knights, archers and lancers) have lots of free space for themselves – Sawamura cannot even see Haruichi, Furuya or Kanemaru. Citizens of Ankur and parents of teenagers taking the exam were sitting on benches behind the barrier; it hurt a little to know that his parents couldn't come for the exam, but Sawamura knew they were busy with preparations for the harvest season.

Right in front of the entrance to the field is a stage behind the barrier where, Sawamura learnt, other professors were going to sit to judge their abilities. Half of the seats was empty, yet the one in center was occupied by an old man, who looked like a kind grandfather. He was smiling jovially at everyone; it was hard to believe that he was one of the most powerful knights when he was younger. Sakaki Eijirou: a man, who had almost singlehandedly ended the Last War. Sawamura had to fight with himself to not stare at the man in awe.

Then Kataoka coughed and Sawamura's gaze immediately turned to him. The paladin looked at the group of teenagers, folding his arms on his chest.

"I'm not going to tell you the exam will be easy," he started, his voice cold and steady. "But I'm looking at you and I'm seeing only determination and fighting spirit. Show it to other judges, show them your passion, give your best and you will pass. Show them how great paladins you can be."

The little group cheered at that and Sawamura joined everyone in loud "Yes, sir!". Other groups were yelling already too. Huh; it seemed to be a normal part of the entrance exam. Sawamura suddenly started to wish he had been listening to Haruichi talking about his brother's exam more closely yesterday.

Sakaki stood up and everyone suddenly went quiet. When he started speaking, his voice was heard in the whole place – a magician must had cast a spell on him earlier.

"Welcome! Welcome to the three hundred sixty eight entrance exam." People in the audience started to cheer loudly.

Sakaki allowed that for a few moments, before speaking again, yet this time, Sawamura could barely hear him. The feeling of that strange, familiar magic assaulted his senses, and Sawamura had to start taking deeper breaths in order to not scream out in frustration.

It was happening again! Since yesterday, since the moment he had first stepped into Ankur, Sawamura had been feeling that… something or someone closer, but at the same time he couldn't tell what that was! And now it was happening again! He tried to discreetly look around himself, but one stern "Stop it," from professor Kataoka made him freeze.

Whatever it was, it was closer than ever before and Sawamura decided he was going to learn today what that was. His magic was pulsing, roaring around him – other paladins were already looking at him with puzzled expressions. Sawamura hoped they would think he wasn't able to control his magic too well, because he was nervous. It wouldn't do Sawamura anything good if he admitted to sensing a strong source of magic power through his whole life, right?

Miyuki didn't wake up in too good of a mood.

He had been planning to spend the day in the library, but had been stopped by Master Kunitomo, who had requested Miyuki's presence during the entrance exams of warriors. Miyuki couldn't say "no"; after all, it was a honour to present your talents during the entrance exams, rub it into the faces of all those kids who thought that they were way beneath even the worst student in the Oasis and Gild.

Also, citizens always liked to watch performances of magicians and warriors before entrance exams. Happy citizens meant bigger funds, so Miyuki, reluctantly, had showed up at the exam.

He constantly wished he hadn't.

The sensation of a familiar kind of magic had hit him, with the strength of a griffin, the moment Miyuki had come closer to the exam field. Yuuki, a third year paladin, had looked curiously over at Miyuki, who almost doubled over in pain. Quickly, Miyuki had laughed at himself, joking aloud how he shouldn't had stayed up reading so long the day before, because now he was too sleepy to walk properly.

Yuuki had seemed to buy this excuse for which Miyuki was glad. He didn't fancy the idea of explaining to anyone what he could sometimes feel – now stronger than ever. Miyuki had never before been so glad for lessons in controlling his magic master Rei had given him. As a healer, her control was at the highest level and she had made sure Miyuki's was too. Miyuki's magical power wanted to reach to that other source of power, almost as if it were alive, and it was taking a lot of strength to keep it tightly around himself.

Miyuki groaned inwardly, clenching his jaw. It was nothing. Maybe he was simply corresponding to someone's else magical powers. After all, warriors and magicians' powers sometimes were so similar that they formed fighting powers.

Of course, Miyuki snorted, there were also speculations about so-called battery, but to even try to think this magical pull would be something like that… ridiculous.

He ignored how those fighting pairs normally couldn't feel each other, since they were kids. It wasn't exactly normal that Miyuki had been feeling the presence of that something or someone for years, but since that night when he had met master Rei, was there anything normal about him left?

Lord Sakaki finished his speech, gesturing for the first of performers to step into the field.

"What are you going to show, Zono?" Kuramochi leaned against his bow, looking at the summoner.

"That's a surprise." Zono grinned at them, waving to the professors that he was coming. "Wish me luck!"

"Wish him luck…?" Miyuki repeated, surprised. "What is he planning?"

"I heard he was practicing summoning one of the Mighty Beasts," said Jun, looking at walking Zono with wonder. "Tch, I wonder if he can do it."

Miyuki's eyes widened and he heard excited murmurs of his companions. A Mighty Beast? No one had summoned it in years; some even started saying that Mighty had became angry at something the humans did.

That was something Miyuki didn't actually believe, but he had a hard time believing in summoners' myths and magic. They were almost completely separate class from magicians and warriors. They couldn't fight, their magic powers in fields like dark spells or healing weren't impressive, but they could summon a demon from another world to protect them and control that beast. There were so many questions surrounding them, Miyuki simply thought it was silly to say that this or that statement was true.

They watched how Zono passed the barrier, which immediately changed its colour to green. That barrier was something Miyuki wished he could study: when it was green, people could come outside, but not inside, when it was blue, it was the other way around. It was created this way so no attacks of warriors (especially archers) would hurt the audience during entrance exams and later, before students acquired a satisfying control over their powers.

Man. It paid off to listen to Mei's rambling from time to time.

Observing how wannabe students were moving around the field, to have better look at Zono, Miyuki used that opportunity to see if any of those boys and girls were experiencing problems with their magical powers.

Sure, he quickly located a few of them, but it was hard to say if any of them were answering to his magic or if they were just excited and couldn't control themselves.

That magic…Miyuki closed his eyes for a moment, involuntary tasting that other power: warm and shiny, but at its core stubborn and determined. Huh. If that source of power was a person, then maybe it wouldn't be so bad to partner him or her. A person with such aura was bound to be a hard worker, and Miyuki would like that. Of course they would work like a normal magician-warrior pair, not some imagined, silly bat –

Suddenly, Miyuki's hair stood up on his nape and protective threads in his official coat of a dark magician started pulsing with magic. Something was really, very wrong.

"What –" He hastily turned around, magic ready to use already lingering on his fingers. "Did you feel that?"

"Feel what?" Jun's eyes narrowed. "I don't feel anything." Yet, he reached for his lance, the jewels in his shield gleaming with magic.

Yuuki turned to Miyuki, his expression serious.

"What are you feeling?"

"I –" Miyuki gulped, the feeling of something being wrong not wanting to leave him. "I'm not sure, but if you say you aren't feeling anything –"

Miyuki never got a chance to finish that sentence. The ground shook under them and they almost fell down. This time, there was no mistake: they all could feel the dark powers coming from the field.

"Zono," Takako whispered, her hand going to the belt where she had vials with potions.

Miyuki looked at the field and he felt his heart stopping. In his musing about that weird source of power, he had completely forgotten that Zono was going to perform a summoning. The summoner was standing at the centre of the field, black rings around him – he was trying to stop the spell, but whatever started to transform, it didn't want to go away.

People in the audience started screaming and running away, while kids on the field weren't moving. With a terrified expression, Miyuki observed how they were preparing their weapons, ready for combat; did they think it was a part of the exam? There was no way that whatever Zono was going to summon would be able to be beaten by a bunch of kids!

"We need to help them."

Even before Yuuki had finished speaking, Miyuki was already running towards the barrier. That other source of power changed; it was pulsing in the air, its aura no more warm, but hot, making Miyuki feel dizzy.

And for Shiva's tits, why weren't the professors going onto the field!?

When Miyuki bounced off the barrier, he discovered why.

"It changed the moment Zono started performing the spell," Growled one of teachers – was that professor Kataoka? "We cannot enter."

Only then, Miyuki realized that professors weren't just standing, watching the barrier like lost souls. They using their own magic powers to bring it down – some of them were using their weapons already. On that sight, kids inside the field had finally started to look terrified; a few of them tried to leave the field, only to bounce off the barrier like Miyuki did.

He hit the barrier with his most powerful stinging spell, but it didn't it bulge. Inside, Zono's screams were getting louder, the black smoke getting more and more real. Other students chosen for performance caught up to Miyuki already, but their efforts were in vain too. It looked like the barrier was feeding off the power of whatever Zono was summoning.

Miyuki's head was spinning. That other source of power was assaulting him, terrified in one moment, to calm down in the next.

What the fuck was going on?!

Then they heard a howl.

Strong dark magic filled the air. Astonished, Miyuki watched the beast Zono had summoned: it was big, the colour of dark purple, resembling a mix between a wolf and a horse, long muzzle, and short, strong legs. Its fangs and claws were long, the tail widening and then tightening like a fan. The whole beast was covered in scales, tongues of flame swirling from between its closed jaw.

It looked as if it didn't know what was happening, what lancers standing behind it used to pull a fainted Zono away from it.

Miyuki heard Takako gasp quietly, Jun's curse, and Yuuki orders to not use even a single ounce of magic now. Such a strong looking beast would usually would surely disappear if they were summoned by mistake – after all, Zono wanted to summon a Mighty Beast, not that monster – and it would be the best if the appeared as non dangerous as they could.

But then the beast opened its jaw, attacking the group of archers with fire and Miyuki realized it wasn't going to go back on its own.

Thankfully, all the archers managed to escape, their natural magic making them quicker than normal people, but they couldn't run the whole time!

The beast turned, focusing on the group of paladins, who stepped back, running away from each other to have more place to dodge attacks and run.

All but one.

Miyuki's heart froze. Through the dark power of the beast, he could feel the steady, hot aura of his own. He was suddenly painfully aware of the origin of that power source he had been feeling his whole life: it was the paladin standing in front of the beast, looking like he was in a trance, going to be completely and utterly destroyed in a few moments.

The air was gleaming around that paladin and it took Miyuki only a second to realize that he was preparing to cast a counter-summon charm. But how? He was a paladin, he couldn't…

The beast used fire again, but it stopped in front of the paladin, crashing on a barrier. Of course. Of course; it was impossible to hurt a summoner, who was casting the spell. After they finished? Sure. But when they focused to use their powers, the magic shining around them? Good luck with trying to hurt them.

Knowing this is the only way Miyuki could help, he let his own magic be grasped by the one of the paladins and pushed himself towards the boy in the field.

Yet, instead of taking it, the boy started to fight. Miyuki clenched his jaw, focusing harder. What the fuck was going on? Paladin's magic was looking for Miyuki, wanting his powers, but the boy couldn't take it…?

Other teenagers started to tentatively attack the beast, but it was quick and powerful; many of them were already hurt. Archers were trying to protect everyone, keeping the beast from coming closer, but they didn't have infinite amount of arrows.

Miyuki spotted two lancers running around the beast towards the paladin, who had completely stopped moving, probably to take him away, before the beast remembered about that one piece of meat that wasn't fighting. Sure, fire and claws couldn't hurt him, but eating the paladin alive? That could be done.

Not realizing he was doing it, Miyuki's hand clenched on the medallion from his mother and he started to pray, just pray that those lancers were quick enough, because after already tasting that magic of the paladin, which was almost like his own, Miyuki couldn't imagine his life without it anymore.

Gathering all his strength, he focused on hitting the barrier in front of him, at the same time trying to send his power to his own and help him.

If it were any other time, Miyuki would stop to think about using that particular "his own" phrase, but now, he could only think about the hot magic of the paladin and trapped kids.

Sawamura didn't know what he was doing. The world was in chaos, people were screaming and running in every direction, warriors were trying to attack the beast... and he was standing there alone in front of it, feeling calm. The monster was ferocious, attacking every moving object, but someone was telling Sawamura what to do. It was like his own magic were coming alive, filling him whole, urging Sawamura to do what his instincts were ordering him to.

So, instead of grabbing his sword, he raised his hands up; the magic was pulsing in the air, wanting to be touched and grasped. Sawamura's fingers brushed against it and then bright rings appeared around his stretched out arms – he faintly remembered his mother doing the same thing once, when he was way younger and very, very scared.

The beast looked at him with green eyes blazing with fury. It opened its jaw, showing tongues of flame swirling inside of it. Someone yelled behind Sawamura, urging him to run. He opened his mouth to answer that voice, magic pulsing through his veins, making him feel hot and cold at once.

Instead of a reply, there was a string of words in the language Sawamura didn't know, but he knew it would help. He was hearing a faint echo of his mother's voice telling the same words, could feel the pulsing presence of that person being close to him. He was drunk on magic, pouring every last bit of it into a spell he knew would save them.

"Stop it!"

More screaming and yelling. The beast was being slashed, had arrows thrown at it, but it wasn't backing down. For the first time, Sawamura felt fear; why wasn't the spell working? He was breathing hard, rings shining less brightly, his voice faltering. In place of magic, he had been feeling just moment ago, was only a gaping hole, pulling something inside of him towards darkness, making his heart freeze. If only he was like a lancer who could take powers from around himself...

The beast roared, causing Sawamura to almost make a mistake in the incantation. There were people around him, protecting him from getting hurt, but it wasn't enough! Sawamura needed more magic, he needed –

A sudden rush of power almost knocked Sawamura down. He did double over, hit by an unknown force, but he didn't feel any pain, only extreme relief and happiness. His own answered to him! How could he feel pain when he knew this magic power as good as his own? When that magic was his, Sawamura's?

Not stopping to think why he did know that power, what were those thoughts about 'his own', Sawamura reached for it, preparing himself to end the spell. He couldn't understand his own words, couldn't gather his thoughts together, but he knew what he had to do. So, avoiding hands of someone who tried to stop him, Sawamura began to run closer towards the beast, spell on his lips, power from the rings lingering on his hands. The magic was singing inside of him, reaching outside to protect him, to touch the magic of that other presence Sawamura knew on levels he didn't think were possible –

He dodged the pawn of the beast, going straight for its throat. An arrow burning with dark light flew past him, stopping the beast's tail from smashing him like a bug. Sawamura didn't stop to turn around and see who did that, but he already knew it was Furuya; the archer was sending arrow after an arrow, taking full advantage of his speed, making the beast stop moving and letting Sawamura came closer.

Sawamura avoided the beast's teeth – or maybe magic surrounding him stopped them? It didn't matter. What mattered was the need to finish the spell, to let go of all of that magic. His body suddenly started burning and he knew he wasn't going to last long...

There! Sawamura's hands flew to the scales under the beast's throat. He yelled the final words of incarnation, pushing the magic outside, straight into the weakest part – he knew that, somehow - of the monster. The beast roared in pain, its scales turning black. Sawamura almost fell down onto his knees, screaming in agony too; it hurt, it hurt so much to let go of all that power. It was burning his insides, melting his skin... Gods, he could smell scent of burned hair...

Not thinking, knowing he had to act quickly, Sawamura reached for the sword on his back, fighting back the pain. The monster stood on its back legs, preparing itself to lung forward, right onto Sawamura, squishing him. Praying it would work, the paladin gathered magic left in him – it hurt, gods, it hurt so much! – and threw his sword right in the place where monster's heart should be. The blade wasn't steal anymore; it was black, gleaming with a deadly curse, though Sawamura didn't remember charming it that way. He let that last ounce of magic left in him guide himself, guide the sword, bearing the pain of using more power.

The beast roared again, louder this time. Its eyes rolled back, blood poured from place where handle of the sword was sticking out... and then it slowly fell onto its side. The ground shook and Sawamura fell down too. He didn't even have strength to support himself: he fell flatly onto his face.

Then, as if someone switched something on, Sawamura started screaming.

The magic was ripping through him, his nerves were burning. There was a hole inside his chest sucking the life out of him. For some reason, the rings around his arms weren't disappearing, but were getting stronger, feeding on his life force. He tried to move, to breath, but breathing hurt, everything hurt.

There was his... his someone running to him. Through the enormous pain, Sawamura felt a grain of sadness of losing something precious. They didn't even have a chance to meet properly. But it was too late, everything was too late.

Feeling how his heart was stopping, Sawamura was fully aware that he was dying: almost burned to a crisp, killed by his own magic.

And then that hole swallowed him whole.

It was dark outside, when Sawamura woke up. His limbs felt heavy, as if he were underwater, and his mind was clouded.

It was hard to focus on anything else than the rhythmic beating of his heart. That sound was calming down something within him, although he couldn't understand why and what.

Slowly, he opened his eyes.

He was lying in a bed in an unfamiliar room. It was big, surrounded by white walls, and set of beds standing close to each other. It looked a bit like hospital. But why would Sawamura be in one?

Then memories crashed into him like a wave: the beast, his magic behaving like it had had mind of its own, the rain of arrows around him –

– and the cold feeling of dying.

Sawamura's breath quickened, body felt hot and cold at the same time. He died. He knew it. He was sure of it, as much as he was sure about his name. Sawamura remembered – if a faint echo of losing everything could be called a memory –his heart stopping in mid beat, lungs refusing to take another breath...

But that hadn't been everything, had it?

Sawamura looked down at his bandaged arms, lying on the soft sheets, with unseeing eyes.

He remembered more than that. He remembered someone's magic pushing at him, wanting him to take it – and it all would be wrong if that magic hadn't feel like his own already. Sawamura's brows furrowed at that thought, the muscles in his face hurting when he did that, but he barely paid any mind to that.

There was that strange person close to him, wasn't it? Sawamura remembered that his-but-not-quite-his magic going frantic from worry when he had fallen down, he could remember someone's voice calling for him...

"Eijun!"

Sawamura could barely register someone's voice calling his name, before he got crushed in a hug. Pink hair tickled his nose.

"H-Haruichi?" Sawamura tried to say, but everything what he managed was a quiet growl. How long hadn't he been speaking?

The small lancer moved back a little, his hands shaking on Sawamura's shoulders. He was pale and there were dark bags under his eyes; it didn't take a genius to say that he hadn't been sleeping well.

"We were so worried about you!" Haruichi's voice was shaking as much as his palms were. "Wait, I'll give you some water."

"I'll do it." When Sawamura wasn't looking, too focused on Haruichi, Kanemaru walked to the bed, with Furuya moving behind him, and promptly poured water from a bottle to the glass standing on the bedside table.

Sawamura tried to raise his hand to take it, but the arm barely moved. Eyes widening a little, he tried to move both of his arms: he could raise them a little, but that was all.

Haruichi's fingers wrapped themselves around Sawamura's wrist.

"Don't. Panic." He said slowly and only then Sawamura realized how much his breath had quickened. "Your hands got burned pretty b-badly."

Without a word of complaining or teasing Kanemaru brought the glass to Sawamura's lips and tipped it back. Sawamura drank greedily, not caring about it at all. In that moment that cool water tasted like heaven, smoothing his dry throat. Instantly, he felt a lot better. Still kind of weird, as if detached from everything what was happening around him, but at least his body felt better if the mind didn't.

"Burned?" Sawamura whispered then coughed a few times. He... yes he remembered that. He remembered the magic feeding on him, burning him alive inside and outside. "But they will be fine?"

"Miss Rei says so," Furuya murmured.

With a surprised expression, Sawamura realized that Furuya tried to look everywhere, the walls, the other but at him. Why?

He looked at the faces of his... well, friends, noticing different mixes of worry, sadness, and something else. He couldn't put his hand on what that something was, and, to be honest, with his thoughts trying to wander back to thinking about that unknown magic, Sawamura didn't really feel like guessing.

The next few minutes they spent in silent. Kanemaru filled another glass of water, but this time Sawamura insisted on drinking it alone. After a few more unsuccessful attempts at raising his hands and grabbing the glass, he was finally able to hold the half-filled glass.

The whole time, Furuya was looking at his shoes, refusing to stand closer, while Kanemaru was lingering behind Haruichi, who seemed to be the only one who wanted to sit next to Sawamura.

What was going on?

"What happened?" Sawamura had never been known to be subtle. "You're all acting weird."

The three of warriors looked at each other, only confirming Sawamura's suspicious. There was something going on.

"Eijun... Do you remember what happened?" Haruichi asked gently.

Sawamura furrowed his eyebrows, looking at the window and the moon high in the sky. He had a sudden thought that maybe he should have notified a nurse – were there even nurses in this place? – that he woke up, but Haruichi's question made him unable to focus on anything else.

He remembered dying, but that couldn't be what Haruichi was asking about, right? Sawamura remembered the beast, but how had it appeared on the exam field?

"... The summoner, Zono, summoned a beast," he said finally and Haruichi nodded. His peach-colored eyes were looking at Sawamura expectantly. "And I... killed it?" Something told Sawamura it wouldn't be too smart to say even a word about that other magic presence. "I'm not sure how, though."

His arms and back were starting to hurt, yet he couldn't focus on that or even voice that thought aloud. Was there something wrong with him?

Kanemaru breathed aloud with a swish.

"Sawamura, you used a summoners' spell to stop that beast!" He raised his voice, throwing his arms up. There was fear on his face and that hurt. Should it hurt? Sawamura wasn't sure. "How can you not know what you have done?!"

Furuya laid his hand on Kanemaru's shoulder.

"Behave." For a few long second both warriors were watching each other, but Kanemaru was the first to drop his gaze down.

"Thank you, Furuya-nini." Haruichi's light tone of voice was clearly forced. "But see, Eijun..." The teenager stopped, looking for appropriate words.

He reminded Sawamura about his friends back at home, who had always resisted like that before saying something what could upset Sawamura. Like when Sawamura's little dog had been hit by a wagon. Sawamura had been seven years old then; he remembered crying for days after that accident had happened.

— was Haruichi saying something?

"— Professors said it sometimes happen. You know, that the child receives parents' magic." They were all looking at him, expecting something. Not knowing what to do, Sawamura nodded. It seemed they were waiting for that, because Haruichi continued his tale. "But people got scared, Eijun. You summoned too much power and you couldn't control it, and –"

"It killed me." Sawamura finished, not noticing how his friends shivered. "I could easily kill someone else, right?"

"Y-yeah," admitted Kanemaru after a long pause. "No, wait, I mean no! Just hurt us. You..." he gulped, waving his hand at Sawamura, "you... got hurt like that, because the magic was concentrated."

Sawamura nodded again. He really didn't understand that, but nodding was the best way to make everyone keep talking. He didn't feel so detached, as if there was someone else under his skin, when listening to the voices of his friends.

They were looking at each other again and a shiver ran down Sawamura's spine. There was more to that tale, he could tell that.

Yet, Haruichi started talking again without Sawamura prompting him to do so.

"The last few days... Eijun, it was chaos. Professors and the headmaster were talking for hours in a closed room, people were trying to come here..."

"It was pissing miss Rei off," Furuya interrupted. "She threw us away too."

Sawamura's friends had been sitting with him? A warm, nice feeling spread through his chest. He almost forgot how it was to feel happy.

"Anyway," Haruichi glared a little at Furuya, "Professor Ochiai was very clear about how he wants you out of the Gild."

That information was like a bucket of cold water.

"What?!" Sawamura yelled, his hands curling into fists. "I didn't do anything wrong!" Sawamura's magic raised its head despite his best efforts to keep it down.

"Eijun, calm down!" This time Kanemaru grabbed Sawamura by his wrist – gently, but firmly – and the magic immediately calmed down.

Oh, right. Lancers could calm down other peoples magic.

"Everyone else thinks you saved us all and they are fucking right." Kanemaru growled, clearly pissed off, but not at Sawamura. "The beast's magic interfered with the shield. We could have died there, before professors would be able to take it down."

"... No one takes Ochiai seriously." Furuya said, his fingers stroking bowstring of the bow on his back. "Everyone passed exam, you included."

"Furuya, I think Eijun has better things to worry about –"

But Sawamura only laughed, suddenly feeling euphoria filling him.

"No, it's okay!" He shifted against pillows, silly smile spreading on his face. "Good to hear some good news. So, when I can leave this room and practice with you all?" Sawamura looked expectantly at his friends, who in turn quickly looked down again.

There were good at doing that. Had they been practicing it when Sawamura was asleep?

"Miss Rei said you need to stay here a few days more." Kanemaru got suddenly very interested in the view behind the window.

Well, the moon was pretty, Sawamura supposed, but that wasn't the reason why Kanemaru avoided his gaze, right? And look, Furuya was counting tiles on the floor again.

What was going on?

"You went into magic shock," Haruichi said slowly, obviously carefully choosing every word. "Your body needs time to heal from it... and your shoulder..." Haruichi stopped talking, casting a quick glance at Furuya.

"What about my shoulder?" Sawamura asked, moving slightly his shoulders. The left one started to hurt a little. "I don't remember injuring it."

Which would be funny considering he remembered being burned alive by his own fucking magic if only both thing weren't so gruesome.

Furuya slowly raised his head, his gaze falling at the wall above Sawamura's head.

"... You got hit by an arrow," he mumbled, barely moving his lips.

"I got hit by an arrow?" Sawamura was puzzled. By claws of the monster? Sure. By that long tail? Yup, that would be right too. "I don't remember that. Who... why would someone do that?"

Furuya shifted uncomfortably, looking away from Sawamura. Kanemaru and Haruichi looked at each other, before moving their gazes back at Sawamura, whose insides turned cold. Of course.

Sawamura distantly remembered thinking that Furuya had been shooting the beast. With his speed, he could make that monster focus on him instead of Sawamura; he had been hurting the monster so quickly and with little pause between attacks that the beast hadn't realized Sawamura was close 'till it was too late.

"Furuya?" Sawamura propped himself up on his elbow, smothering a groan of pain and biting his lip. What was he supposed to say? "Was that you...?"

The archer nodded, his head hanging down.

"My control isn't the best," he admitted quietly. "I miscalculated the distance and –" Furuya stopped.

He looked so sad and miserable Sawamura wanted to reach for him and comfort him.

Realizing both Kanemaru and Haruichi were looking at him expectantly, Sawamura said the first thing he could think about:

"We were all fighting, right? You tried to help and –" The rest of the sentence was interrupted by the sound of heels coming from the corridor.

"Oh shit..." Kanemaru moaned. "We're in trouble."

Haruichi didn't even bother with scolding Kanemaru for cursing, which meant that they were indeed in trouble. But why? Could that be Ochiai, ready to kick them all out?

... No, it couldn't be Ochiai. Sawamura knew the aura of the person walking towards them: it was quiet, like a lull, giving away a faint smell of herbs.

Kanemaru's mumbled "she's going to kill us" only confirmed Sawamura's suspicious.

In less than a second, miss Rei entered the room. She was dressed in yellow robes of a head of healers holding a tray with a few glass bottles. Her magic was buzzing around her, but it calmed down, just like the scowl on her face disappeared, when she looked at Sawamura's friends.

"I should have known it was you," she sighed, her shoes making a clicking sound while she was walking towards Sawamura's bed. "You couldn't wait till morning to see him." Somehow it didn't sound like a question.

"We thought we could visit him, since he finally woke up and all." Kanemaru smiled at miss Rei in a way which showed he had used that smile before to avoid consequences.

Miss Rei didn't looked mollified though.

"Which means you were lurking in corridors instead of going to sleep like I ordered you to." She said sternly, as she put the tray down on Sawamura's bedside table. "I should give you all a detention." Miss Rei said with a gleam in her eyes, folding her hands on her chest.

All three friends were looking properly scolded. Normally, Sawamura would giggle at such picture, but now his mind couldn't stop thinking about Furuya. The archer was looking more sorry for hurting Sawamura than for breaking an order from one of professors.

"We are sorry, miss Rei." Haruichi's shoulders dropped. "We just needed to see him."

Miss Rei stopped, brows furrowing; she smiled sadly at them all.

"Sawamura made us all worry, didn't he?" Her gaze was calm, when she looked at Sawamura, but he could see even she had been worrying about him. "As you see he is all right, so go back to sleep."

The three of them nodded.

"We are very sorry, miss Rei." Kanemaru added.

Sawamura blinked hearing those words and shook his head to clear his mind a little. For some reason, it was getting harder to focus on everything happening around him.

"Furuya!" Furuya stopped in middle of bowing to miss Rei. "It wasn't your fault, you know it, right?"

It was important for Furuya to understand that. Sawamura couldn't understand that, but in that one moment, it was the most important in the world: to make Furuya realize Sawamura wasn't angry at him.

Furuya straightened and nodded, but he still wasn't looking at Sawamura. It made him growl in frustration; he was only partially aware of miss Rei's hand gently touching his shoulder.

"Don't just nod at me!" Sawamura almost screamed. "I survived thanks to you and –"A sudden realization why Furuya could refuse listening to Sawamura made him feel sick. Speaking next words felt as if someone was tearing them off from Sawamura's throat. "... My magic had been killing me, before you started to shoot the beast. Your arrow had nothing to do with… that."

That was true and somehow Sawamura was sure about it: his magic had fought him from the moment he started using the summoner's spell.

Hearing Sawamura's words, Furuya looked at him, his eyes wide, face pale, lips trembling. Without saying anything, Furuya turned around and practically fled quickly from the room, but not quick enough for everyone to not see how his shoulders started shaking.

"We will go too." Haruichi grabbed Kanemaru by his sleeve, threw Sawamura a last smile and then they were gone too.

Sawamura fell back on the pillows again, suddenly exhausted.

"That wasn't very tactful." Rei noticed. Her palm disappeared from Sawamura's shoulder and she took one of bottles. "How are you feeling?"

Sawamura blinked, thinking more about this question that probably it was worth. How was he feeling? Tired. Overwhelmed.

Different.

"My back hurts," he said finally.

"Sit and let me check it." Miss Rei waited till Sawamura sat back again, before sitting behind him and pushing his shirt up.

Sawamura hissed, when she touched his left shoulder. The palm moved back for a moment; when miss Rei touched him again her hand was wonderfully cool against his skin.

"This is a healing spell, right?" Sawamura asked, finding similarities between the spell miss Rei used and one of his father.

"Yes. You shoulder was in very bad state," she said quietly. "I understand that your friends told you why."

"Furuya shot me." Sawamura's hands clenched on the duvet. "But why don't I remember it?" He asked with frustration.

For the exam Furuya had brought his special archery bow, which means that Sawamura had been shot by half-meter long arrow. By all means, he should have died. One of those arrows is enough to kill a smaller beast.

Miss Rei tugged at the bandages around Sawamura's torso.

"The magic around you was too thick for that arrow to kill you." She explained, perfectly understanding what Sawamura as truly asking about. "Which is also a reason why you got burnt so badly."

Sawamura raised his arms slightly to help miss Rei with taking off the bandage from him.

"...They said I used summoners' powers. But that shouldn't be possible, right?"

Sawamura needed miss Rei to say "yes". He didn't want to be labeled as some kind of a freak right on the first day of the school. Being able to sense a magician through his whole life was enough.

Miss Rei was strangely quiet, while she was preparing a balm from whatever-it-was in those glass bottles. She started talking, once she started putting balm on his burned skin, probably to take Sawamura's mind from the pain.

"Your mom is a summoner. It's rare for a child to inherit its parent's powers, but it happens."

"But I can't be a summoner like mom. I didn't send that monster back. I killed it." Sawamura protested, hissing slightly when miss Rei put balm on the small of his back.

"Yes, but you weakened it down with a summoner's incantation. With proper training, you may be able to summon weaker beasts and control them," Miss Rei explained patiently. "You showed an astounding amount of magical powers and you saved many people." She took a cotton ball smelling strongly of herbs and pressed it against a wound under Sawamura's right shoulder blade.

Despite being tired and confused more than he would be ever able to describe it, Sawamura felt his cheeks growing hot.

"Everyone was helping, you know? That monster would have killed me easily, if I didn't get any help."

"That's true." Rei put down the cotton ball and took out a fresh set of bandages. Sawamura tried his best to not hiss in pain when the material touched very sensitive skin on his back. "I'm sure this one exam is going to be written down in history books." The magician's tone was light and Sawamura felt himself relaxing for the first time since he had woken up.

Rei was working quickly on wounds on Sawamura's back. Only now could Sawamura feel that it really was the highest time to change bandages; the balm Rei was putting on his back was sweetly numbing the pain, causing Sawamura to breath in relief.

"Are you okay?" Rei asked, alarmed, her hands stopping.

"No, I'm fine. It doesn't hurt anymore." Sawamura pointed at his back, swallowing. Actually, there was something that was not quite right with him, but he didn't know how to talk about it. "Miss Rei?"

"Hmm?" she murmured, putting more that herb oil on the wound caused by Furuya's arrow.

"Is it normal to feel...? Ah, never mind!" Sawamura shook his head, embarrassed. It was one thing to cry over characters in a romance book and another thing to talk about his feelings.

Unfortunately, miss Rei didn't want to let go of the subject.

"Feel how? My oil should help you... Did that balm hurt you?"

"No, I meant..." Sawamura could feel that his cheeks were on fire. "I am... I'm not feeling quite like myself."

"Ah, that." Rei chuckled quietly, her hands going back to work on Sawamura's back. "You are much more quiet than normally, aren't you?"

"Y-yeah," Sawamura admitted, thinking about how much of a fool he had made of himself when they had first met. Of course miss Rei would remember him as a loud kid, wouldn't she? "It's like I'm not complete? I don't know how to explain it," he growled in frustration, clenching his fists together.

Miss Rei chuckled again.

"You see, Sawamura, because summoners can get into contact with beings from a different reality," Rei started talking in a tone that Sawamura immediately labelled as her teaching voice, "their feelings often get messed up. It usually takes them from one hour up even a whole day to make them feel back like themselves. You're not a proper summoner and you were badly injured, which is why you may still be feeling differently. I'm sure after a night of sleep, with your wounds almost healed, will do you lot of good."

Sawamura nodded, feeling oddly relieved that there was at least one rule he hadn't broken. He remembered that his mother was often going to sleep after performing a summon. Was it because she had preferred to not wait to get better? Funny, but Sawamura almost didn't notice that he wasn't behaving like always. Only when miss Rei had complimented him, had he sensed that something was wrong. Usually, one compliment was enough to make him laugh in delight, but that time he barely reacted at all.

"I'll come back and change the bandages on your arms in the evening, so I'll leave them for now." Miss Rei stood up and reached for the towel to dry her hands. "Unless they hurt you...?"

Sawamura wiggled his fingers. True, his arms hurt before, but the pain almost disappeared. Maybe they only hurt because he hadn't been using those muscles for a while?

"No, I'm fine." Sawamura smiled, feeling a little bit more like his old self.

"That's good. I'll leave you a sleeping mixture," she took one of bottles from the tray and left it on the bedside table, "but I'd like you to try to fall asleep without its help."

Sawamura nodded, remembering how his father used to ask his patients for the same thing. The less mixtures and pills a body needed, the better.

"I'll try," he promised.

"Good." Miss Rei smiled back at him; a true, real smile. "I'll explain more in the morning, but let me tell you now that if you ever again scare me like this, I'll personally kick you back to your village, got it?" The scent of herbs got stronger in the room, when miss Rei's magic rose, furious and helpless at the same time. "You scared me to death."

Sawamura gulped. It was never good to have a powerful magician being mad at you.

"B-but I don't even know when the whole trance thing started!" He yelled, shifting back on the bed as if that could help him. "I swear on my paladin's honour!"

"You're not a paladin yet." Miss Rei rolled her eyes and then reached for him. Sawamura closed his eyes, expecting something like his grandpa's sights of 'tough love' but everything miss Rei did was to gently pat his hair. "But you will be. Don't let me down, Eijun."

Sawamura's eyes opened when he heard his name.

"Yes, miss Rei!" He yelled, saluting almost without a thought.

Miss Rei stopped in the door though, looking at him with small smile.

"It's professor Rei now, Sawamura. Try to rest." She closed the door behind her and Sawamura realized he was nodding to empty air.

He laid on his stomach, looking at the moon high in the sky, his head still strangely calm. Sawamura supposed it was still the effect from using his summoners' powers. He had a feeling he was going to be much less calm about everything that had happened – he had died, for Shiva's sake – but for now, he could enjoy this lull.