The two turtles arrived at the lair minutes later, Raph took his role of pizza duty and Mikey headed toward Don's lab. If he was secretly praying that Leo wouldn't already be in there coddling the shell off of Don, well it wasn't spoken out loud. Mikey wasn't sure what to expect when he got to the lab, he didn't know how he'd react around Donnie now that he's been conscious for more than half an hour. His emotions were that of a PMSing preteen currently and he had to silently swear to himself that even if Leo was in there, he'd act natural. He could do that. Put on a little show for his immediate older brother, he's done it tons of times before. Although it's not usually under these kind of circumstances either.

When he reached the door he hesitated on knocking. He did in fact hear Don and Leo's muffled voices through the other side of the door. He could hear his heartbeat pound against his head as he tried to recompose himself before going in. Taking a deep breath and shoving back his feelings, he tapped on the door and waited for Don's gentle "Come in!"

Mikey slowly opened the door to find his immediate older brother sitting up on one of the cots he owned, Leo sitting in a metal chair next to him. When Don saw Mikey walk in his face lit up like a kid seeing fireworks for the first time. His smile was contagious so naturally Mikey returned it, ignoring Leo's presence for the moment and pulled Don's computer chair to the end of the cot.

"Hey Donnie," he greeted almost shyly.

"Mikey! Are you okay? I was worried when Raph said you left the lair, especially after-"

"I'm okay Don. Sorry for worrying you, I didn't go far I promise," the younger turtle quickly informed him. He did feel bad for worrying the purple banded turtle since he was still trying to recover from getting his head bashed in but he didn't need a third mother hen roaming around.

Donnie had been in and out of consciousness after waking up the same day Mikey had after the fight. The younger turtle supposed that the both of them got the worst of injuries even though all of them were covered in multiple colored bruises. Raph at some point had only managed to crack his shell and Leo ended up with a foot long gash along his shoulder blade. Mikey rarely visited Don in the last three days mostly due to the fact that Leo was always hovering over the poor boy and it didn't seem like the younger turtle's presence was wanted in those times.

Mikey's heart hurt again after recalling Leo only asking him how he felt when he woke up but that was the extent of his concern it seemed like.

This isn't about me and Leo right now, it's about Don, Mikey scolded himself with a mental slap to his face.

"How's your head feel?" he asked, trying to divert the attention away from himself as Don started to analyze him for his injuries right away.

"It feels better than the first time I woke up. Leatherhead said there's no cracks in the skull or internal bleeding so I'd say I got pretty lucky. It'll be sore for a while and Leo says I shouldn't overly think this week but we'll see," Don finished, smiling gently between the two of them. Donnie ended up with a bad concussion, bad enough to be worried about him slipping into a coma but when he woke up that first day, Leatherhead had said it was good news. The giant alligator had really saved their shells this time, stepping in to help take care of the turtles when their medic lost to his injuries. Leatherhead had looked after him and Mikey until he left in the afternoon today with a promise that he'd come back tomorrow after gathering a few more supplies from his part of the sewer.

Mikey also couldn't help but hear once again one of his brothers' calling themselves lucky. He couldn't stand how luck played a huge role in their survival that night. They had never been so damn lucky before. Mikey would still argue that they weren't but he also considered things could have been worse.

Like Donnie falling into a coma. Or his own death.

A whispered Leo chose Don flittered across his thoughts and the younger turtle shook his head slightly to get rid of it.

"How about you Mikey? Was Leatherhead able to fix your hand okay? Your nose looks like its back in place at least," Don said, narrowing his eyes at the damage done to his only younger brother.

And there Don went again worrying about Mikey like he never took a brick wall to the back of his head so the orange masked turtle had to take this opportunity to have a little bit of twisted fun.

"Yeah my nose is fine, but Leatherhead didn't tell you about my hand?"

On that note, Leo looked like the witch from Narnia turned him to stone as he froze with tension. He even offered Mikey a quick scrutinizing glance, the first glance he's had since four days ago from the leader and was that concern that flashed among those lake blue eyes? Mikey couldn't be sure before Leo turned back to looking down at the bed.

As he was still trying to guess Leo's reaction, Don interrupted his thoughts with, "No, what?!"

Another pang of small guilt hit the youngest turtle as he saw Don genuinely angry. Oh well, there's no going back now. It was fun to mess with Donnie. They both needed it.

"Oh," Mikey pretended to be heartbroken about the fake news, "there was no saving it Don." He heard Don gasp and saw Leo grind his teeth. If Raph were here he would have already called him on his bullshit since he's the only one that was there when Leatherhead fixed his hand. But he wasn't and couldn't so Mikey played on and if it made Leo feel even more guilty about the whole thing since Mikey's hand did get stabbed in the process of him saving Don's life, of him choosing Don over you, then so be it. The youngest turtle smirked in his head.

"Yeah, he said the nerves pretty much got fried bro. It's just a useless limb hanging off me for no purpose now. LH wanted to amputate it," at this point Don looked ready to cry for him, "but I told him I had a handsome reputation to keep up and it was better just to leave it as it was for image purposes."

Don looked like a knife had been driven through his gut a few times, his hand clenching the side of the cot and Leo just straight up glared at Mikey then. The youngest turtle almost let out a laugh at his oldest brother knowing Leo had caught on to his lie and figuratively dared his brother to ruin his fun after the pain he's been through. Had Donnie not been so medicated right now, he would have caught the undertone of a joke lacing Mikey's words too but he was on the slower end of things today so the youngest turtle decided to give him a hint.

"I mean come on Donnie," he exaggerated, "I'm already a mutated turtle. Picking up chicks is hard enough as it is…but being a handless mutated turtle? I've got like a negative infinity percent chance bro. Can you imagine what I'd look like without this guy?" Mikey asked, finally letting loose a smile as he held up his injured hand , palm facing forward and wiggled his fingers since the rest of his hand had been plastered in a cast.

He had to wait a minute for Don to put two and two together and let it sink in that had Mikey's nerves actually been that badly damaged, he wouldn't have been able to do what he just did.

The orange banded turtle watched Don's face with amusement as it changed from a "holyshitI'msosorryMikey" to a "youbetterstartplanningyourfuneralbecauseI'mgoingtokillyou" look. Don shot daggers at his younger brother, weakly attempting to throw a small plastic cup that once held his drinking water in although Mikey would have easily caught it had it actually reached him at the end of the bed.

"That wasn't funny," Don spat out, angrier at himself for being tricked rather than Mikey's actual lie.

"It was kind of funny. You should have seen your face!" Mikey laughed, and god did it feel good. He hadn't laughed like this since before the fight and that felt like it had been months ago rather than days. His laughing got a small smile out of Don anyways as Leo softened his glare and went back to avoiding his wonderful presence. Leo wasn't being very leader-y at all and it grinded Mikey's gears but he didn't let it show for the sake of Don being there.

Mikey's loud burst of laughter caught Raph's attention as he walked in.

"What'd I miss?" the hothead asked.

"Don just asked about my hand and I told him I couldn't feel it anymore. You should have seen his face when he finally got that I was joking. I thought it was going to explode there for a second," Mikey smiled again.

"Mikey your face looks liked it already exploded with all that purple and yellow bruising covering your beak!"

"HA! Don you got you there bro," Raph chimed in.

Mikey glared at him before realizing why the red banded turtle hadn't come into the lab with him to begin with. "Is the pizza on its way?" he asked, brushing off his brother's insults, suddenly hungrier than he's ever been. All those days of skipping out on meals had finally caught up to him now that he was slowly returning to good spirits and pizza realllly sounded good right now.

"Yeah, I'll go pick it up in ten."

Mikey nodded, content with the answer.

"So," the youngest started breaking the small awkward silence that followed. "What were you guys talking about in here before I blessed you with my presence?"

Don rolled his eyes and Raph grinned like a maniac, ecstatic that his youngest brother seemed to be in a better mood now. Leo still sat there in the corner acting like he had some kind of invisibility cloak around his shoulders. Mikey did notice how he went rigid again and couldn't understand why he would be so worked up about such a simple question.

"Actually, Mikey," Don looked to address said brother, "I was just telling Leo what I remembered from that night and I told him how you were too distracted saving his shell to save your own and that's when I took my first hit to the wall. I wish it went more gracefully than it did," Donnie ended up mumbling by the end looking disappointed and somewhat embarrassed that he was knocked unconscious first which nobody blamed him for in the slightest. He did after all take the hit that was meant for Mikey.

But the youngest turtle upon hearing this took a minute to connect the dots.

Oh? He questioned what he heard, ohhhhh, he thought almost gleefully because he realized Donnie boy had seen him save Leo's ass after all. That's why Leo acted the way he did. He just learned that he gave Raph a bit of unfinished somewhat false information on what really happened on the rooftop and because the hothead didn't see it and Mikey wasn't going to go broadcasting the news, hearing it from Don must've been a low blow. Mikey was pretty sure Leo was just about drowning in guilt now. Or he should be, the youngest thought darkly.

"I think we all wish things went differently that night D, but you helped save my shell back there no matter what it looked like so I appreciate it!" Mikey expressed his gratitude for the bo wielder with a warm smile and a thumbs up which Don was happy to return the smile at least.

But something in the back of Mikey's soul, something twisted, dark, and ugly wanted to take a jab at the comment and direct it towards Leo. He, in a way, wanted to hurt his brother and make him feel one fourth of a fourth of the pain he's been dealing with. At the same time he didn't. He couldn't hurt his brother like that; it wasn't in character of him to do something so vulgar. So when he asked Donnie, "Do you think I was too distracted? That I should have had enough time to defend myself and save you the hit?" he regretted it immediately. Although he wouldn't lie and say it didn't feel good to let some anger through. Everybody had a breaking point after all.

Raph gave a disapproving frown at the back of his brother's head, knowing what Mikey was trying to get at and Donnie sat there stunned. With widen eyes he said to the youngest turtle, "What? Geez-No! Of course I don't think so, not at all. I knew you wouldn't be able to react fast enough when that other elite took his advantage on you so I tried to jump in when I could. Don't you dare blame what happened to me on yourself, you probably saved Leo's life too."

Oh on the contrary, Mikey thought. He didn't blame himself because the whole situation was messed up but he wanted Leo to hear it straight. For thinking Mikey was distracted when their lives were in danger was insulting. He thought Leo knew him better than that but it was also the fact that he went and told Raph his little opinion too making Mikey look like the bad guy there for a second. How rude.

And then he ran past you to save Don, that dark spot from the depth of his soul reminded him. No, I'm glad that he did. I just want to know why, his heart contradicted.

"Besides," Don continued after getting no reply from anyone, "you got a pretty good whooping yourself. What happened after I passed out?"

"Well," Mikey started, a Cheshire grin playing on his lips, "Leo saved you," over me.

That's when hypothetical shit hit the hypothetical fan and hypothetically flung all across the room. It was because at this point Mikey knew that Leo knew what he meant to say. Leo stood so fast it made his head spin and the chair knocked over with a rattled clank sound. He turned his shaking body towards the exit, eyes down casted to the floor as he told them, "I'll get the food," and left with the door shutting firmly behind him.

"What was that all about?" Don asked as the eldest left his three brothers staring after him. Raph was the first to turn back around and give Mikey a questioning look-no wait, it was more of a demanding glare but Mikey simply shrugged his shoulders also turning back around to face Don again and replied, "You know how Leo gets. Blaming himself for things he can't control," which was the half-truth.

The purple banded turtle nodded, deciding to accept that answer before asking, "So how'd he save me? What happened after that?"

Mikey then let Raph explain his side of the story for one, it was sugar coated since by the time Raph got over the wall Leo was already fighting off the remaining elite and he hadn't seen what kind of decision Leo even had to make. But two, Mikey had fallen unconscious as soon as the elite above him slipped with the grapple hook in his neck that led to the almost hole through the back of his hand so Mikey couldn't explain what happened after that anyways.

After a quick discussion of trying to figure out where these new fancy scarfed elites came from, they drew a blank and had to assume it was just some more of Shredder's goons again but more developed and upgraded as ever. Had there been any more that night, Mikey was pretty sure things would have ended a lot differently. The conversation was cut at hearing Leo return with the pizza in hand who stopped by the lab once more just to give the box to Raph before disappearing to the dojo to work off some stress no doubt.

Raph grabbed some plates and handed the first couple of pizza pieces to Mikey and made sure he ate the damn things before eating a slice himself. He even got suckered into letting Don having a small piece by Mikey's puppy dog eyes and the genius's whining. A while later, saying a quick goodnight to Raph and Don, Mikey left for his room. He was dead tired; today had been full of events and extremely draining, especially while trying to still nurse his own injuries. Luckily his legs still functioned somewhat normally and he was able to get around easier as long as he managed not to aggravate his ribs too much.

When the youngest turtle laid in his bed he found himself remembering that dreadful night all over again. He remembered being unable to move on the roof, feeling a brush of air against his face and opening his eyes to realize Leo chose to save Don's life.

It still hurt. It still made him feel sick at night.

Why though? What logical explanation could Leo give for his decision? Why hadn't Leo at least confronted him about it? Leo knows Mikey was conscious enough to remember that moment; it was too hurtful to forget even after falling into a world of darkness and an unknown future.

What was Leo doing? Mikey asked himself with his good arm over his face, blocking out the light in his room. He thought for a good couple of minutes. Recalling Leo avoiding most eye contact, making excuses to get out of a room he had to be with Mikey in, he was…

A conclusion hit Mikey like a two thousand pound wrecking ball that made him break out into a cold sweat. He let his arm from his face fall back to his side and glared in shock at his ceiling.

Leo was running away. His brother, the fearless, was fearful of confrontation.

And. Mikey. Was. Not. Hav-ing. It.

With a burst of new found angry energy and adrenaline, the youngest turtle forced himself out of his bed, exiting his room, and heading straight for the dojo. If Leo wasn't going to volunteer himself for an explanation then Mikey was going to have to make him. Even if it meant a spar.

Wait no, he'd have the advantage right now, Mikey thought as his sore muscles and busted bones screamed in protest. BUT he was going to have some serious words with that turtle. With all the confidence he could muster, the orange banded turtle shoved open their dojo door and slammed it shut again behind him.

He saw Leo whose shell faced him, dripping in sweat from whatever routine workout he just finished. With a small frown on his face, Mikey vaguely hoped that his brother would clean up the wet droplets all over the mats before someone slipped and fell but switched gears back to his intended purpose of being there. The good thing about being in the dojo was that Mikey had Leo trapped with only one way out and the oldest would have to go through the youngest first before trying to make a break away.

"Leo," Mikey said with determination, his casted hand held against the side of his plastron and the other clenched with white knuckles on the opposite side. He squared his shoulders, anticipating a response from his brother.

"Mikey," the eldest retorted with a defeated tired sounding sigh, still not turning around. It was like Mikey was the last person (turtle) in the world that Leo didn't want to deal with and it made that dark hole beyond Mikey's chest expand a little more. What did he ever do to Leo? Leo was the one that hurt him and continued to do so after the fight by avoiding him at all costs.

Why? Mikey desperately thought, his lips quivering with boiling anger. Before he could stop himself he asked, "Do you hate me Leo?" in a small childlike voice after taking a deep breath and forcing himself to calm down.

That tone, that self-doubt and distrust that came from his youngest brother forced Leo to turn around, his brother instinct telling him to assure and comfort him. Speaking in volume right below a yell Leo said with some sort of desperation willing his brother to believe his next words, "Of course not Mikey-"

"Then why have you been avoiding me since the fight?!" Why haven't you confronted me? Why did you choose Don over me?

Leo seemed to be at a loss of words. How do you talk to someone, especially your brother, who you knowingly hurt?

"I didn't think you'd want me around right now," Leo ended up mumbling.

"Why?" Mikey wasn't backing down. He wanted his brother to own up to his actions that night but it was like fighting with tooth and nail to get him to confess.

Leo didn't respond. He didn't want to confirm what Mikey already knew. He didn't want to hurt his brother more than he already had. He didn't want to face reality. Leo saw the way Mikey looked at him since the fight, so hurt and betrayed like a puppy that'd been kicked and thrown out by an owner it loved, admired, and adored. It tore Leo into pieces. He hadn't had a decent sleep since that night, his brother's near death experience replaying over and over again in his head because of his ultimate decision.

"Because you chose to save Donnie's life over mine?" Mikey finally asked in a defeated whisper. This was it, the anticipated grand finale. He was finally going to get the answers he deserved.

Leo went numb. Dropping the sword he held to the ground, he felt he'd been suckered punched in the stomach, the wind getting knocked out of him. His skin went cold and clammy, heart dropping to the bottom of a sea as he stood there staring hopelessly at his little brother.

He needed Mikey to understand. He needed him to understand how sorry he was. Leo would travel to the end of the universe into every and any possible dimension to find a way to change the past and make sure they never got caught up in that fight to begin with. He'd knock on Shredder's front door if the guy had some kind of time travel machine and kill his entire army single handedly to change that moment. He'd offer his life here and now to Death itself if it meant forever taking away Mikey's pain.

But he couldn't.

"Leo," Mikey started again, his voice starting to tremble, "don't get me wrong. I really am happy that you saved Don over me, it's what I wanted. I don't mind dying if it meant one of you gets to live. But by stupid luck that I'm grateful for, I'm still alive and I can't help but look back at that night trying to figure out what made Donnie special enough to run past me. I was closer... the most logical response probably would have been to save me, so I just wanted to know what your reason was to save his life over mine," Mikey finished explaining, his gaze dropping from Leo's distraught stare.

"M-Mikey…" Leo was on his last thread before falling into hysteria's awaiting arms.

"Please?"

"I-What do you want me to tell you?!" Leo lividly asked; he was getting defensive. He was being forced and pressured into answering questions he wasn't sure how to. His once cool skin ignited with a burning sensation as he fought to keep calm and collective.

Mikey was taken aback from Leo's heated response as he looked him back in those swirled grey and blue colored eyes.

Right as the orange banded turtle was getting around to repeating what he wanted, Leo interrupted with, "I don't know what to tell you Mikey. Back on the rooftop my mind just went blank. I couldn't make a decision; you know I would never willingly choose one of my brothers' life over another. I-I couldn't do it. But we'd all end up dead so I had to do something. I was useless as a brother Mikey and I am sorry for that but I couldn't risk both of your lives either," Leo finally broke eye contact since looking at his brother in the dojo and stared at his feet while he concluded with, "So I let my leader instincts take over and make a decision for me."

Oh. I see, Mikey thought. He didn't know whether to be happy and relieved that Leo couldn't make the decision as a brother after all but he was still frustrated with his leader's choice.

"Okay, I understand that…but so, what? I'm not a valued member of the team or something?" Mikey asked skeptically.

Leo quickly looked back up, "No of course you are Mikey! I don't know why that part of me chose Don-"

"Well it's not like a demon possessed you and took over your mind Leo! You are still you as a brother or as a leader. You had to have some purpose behind that decision since you ignored logic. Why do you think the leader in you chose to spare Don's life over mine? I think I deserve to know," Mikey demanded.

"I don't-"

"Think about it!" the youngest turtle yelled, ending up slightly panting. Why did he want to know so badly? Why couldn't he thank the turtle heavens for sparing his life and be done with it? He didn't know. He just knew he wanted Leo's reasoning to feed his own selfish curiosity.

Leo took a minute to look at his flustered little brother, wanting to comfort and pull him in a tight hug and just be there for him for the next hundred years. Instead, he couldn't handle these emotions of guilt and pain keeping him from answering Mikey's question properly so he used his newly acquired skill. He got rid of all those feelings for a minute to let the leader inside him answer instead.

Silver like fog clouded the older turtle's once blue eyes and Mikey knew it was an indication that he was about to get an answer from his leader.

"Maybe it's because Don does contribute more to the team. He's more… useful. Being the team's only medic and a scientist on top of it all puts his value at the top of the list. He doesn't goof off and always comes through when we need him to. That's it. That's my reasoning," he ended, his eyes returning to normalcy.

Mikey knew that whatever Leo answered, it would hurt. He thought he was in pain before but this was hell. No one ever wants to hear those kinds of words directed towards them. Implying that they were of lesser value. Expendable. The youngest turtle stood there as if watching someone slowly pull out his intestines inch by inch. Mikey finally let tears roll down his flushed cheeks as he tried to not choke on air. This is what you wanted, his heart reminded him. You asked for this. Don't hate Leo for his words…for giving you what you asked for.

Leo wouldn't feel the same kind of pain Mikey did but he did hurt in a different way. He watched Mikey start to fall apart before his eyes and had to quickly finish what he wanted to say before he lost his brother completely.

"But Mikey you have to know, I am sorry that I wasn't able to save you too. I'm sorry I had to force my feelings away and make a decision that way. There's nothing I can do to make it up to you right now, I know, but I will try every day until I earn your trust again and I'll make sure that we never end up in that same situation. I promise. I'm sorry Mikey, please please believe me," Leo desperately took a step forward.

"Don't," Mikey ordered in agonizing heartbreak, "just don't Leo."

Leo didn't move again. His brother was hurting so much and it was his fault. His insides felt as if a tiger was clawing at every muscle in his body. He wanted a tiger to; he thought he deserved it. The one thing the oldest turtle promised himself was to always protect his brothers no matter the cost. Instead he was breaking one, watching Mikey fall into a darkened world and Leo's the one who pushed him into it. He knew he couldn't do anything else. Knew he had to let Mikey grieve for himself. Knew that as much as he wanted to hold his little brother he couldn't. He lost that privilege and would have to earn it once again.

"Thank you, Leo. For being a good leader and answering honestly," Mikey hoarsely said, wiping tears away from his eyes and snot off his upper lip.

Leo flinched. He was thanking him? Telling him he was a good leader? He didn't think he deserved a brother like Mikey.

"I'll train harder. I'll stop goofing off and get on Donnie's level. Maybe he can teach me some basic first aid stuff too ya' know?" Mikey chuckled trying to put on a brave front.

That…that wasn't what Leo wanted for him.

"Mikey-"

"I-Leo I feel sick, I'm going to go."

No! Leo inwardly screamed. He didn't want Mikey to leave yet. He didn't get a chance to tell his brother that he didn't want him to change. That he liked Mikey for who he was, mistakes, jokes, and any other flaw included. He wanted to tell Mikey he loved him before his littlest brother thought any different. Leo wanted to admit to his stupidity and carelessness that night of the fight, and tell Mikey that things never should have turned out this way. He wanted to say a million more things all of sudden but he missed his chance.

The younger turtle was about T minus two minutes from spilling his dinner's contents all over the mat. He needed to get to the bathroom. All these emotions caused too much anxiety that made Mikey sick to his stomach and he just needed to get out of that dojo for some fresh breathable air. He couldn't do that with Leo standing there looking at him the way he was. With pity, Mikey thought.

With a semi hunched over posture, trying to relieve some discomfort in his stomach, Mikey turned to walk back out the dojo door leaving Leo feeling helpless and looking lost.

Mikey ran into Raph in the living room who gruffly asked, "What's wrong Mikey?" while reaching out to set his hands on both sides of the crying turtle's shoulders.

The younger turtle couldn't do anything more but shake his head and murmur, "…sick, Raphie. Need bathroom."

The hothead was so confused; Mikey had been fine about an hour ago. He looked around the room trying to find something to blame for this mess when he spotted Leo through opened doors.

He let out an animalistic growl while thinking, what the hell did you do?

Raph would have confronted Leo had it not been for Mikey weakly pulling on his arms to let him through. The sai wielder ended up grabbing Mikey's good wrist and pulled him towards the bathroom to take care of him.

Leo locked himself in his room for the rest of the night.

Lying restlessly with his eyes closed for a couple hours, Leo opened them to stare mindlessly at a small piece of lint that was on his bed. He thought of nothing as he breathed quietly, temporarily hiding from the world. His head hurt and it was times like this he really missed Master Splinter.

He sighed, rolling over onto his shell. He started to weigh the pros and cons about being a leader; the honor that came with it and the sacrifices that were made. He hated this responsibility but he excelled at it which was why he was able to make a call that was best for his team and not his family.

Mikey, he thought.

He ruined his relationship with his younger brother forever. Only time will heal broken bonds as long as Leo puts in the effort to proving himself as a brother again by making sure he's always there for Mikey from here on out. But his little brother will forever wear a scar on his heart. He could forgive Leo one day, not any day this week or even this year, but sometime in the future. He could forgive, but he couldn't forget.

This was the price Leo had to pay, the burden he had to live with forever, the consequence of following a leader's instinct, and for the first time in thirteen years; Leonardo Hamato cried.

End.

There you have it! I don't know where Master Splinter was in this fic, he was just not there. So I will just leave that up to your imagination wherever you decide he was (whether he passed on or was out of the country, up to you).

I hope you enjoyed this story! A huge shout out to those who didn't give up on it! If you would like to leave a review I would love to hear your opinions! Otherwise another thank you to those who follow, favorited, reviewed, and read this!

I hope you're still having a great Wednesday!

Much love,

A Damsel in Distress