Author's Note: I WISH that I owned Cardcaptor Sakura, but I don't *starts
to cry.* Please don't sue me; I'm only *counts on fingers* 15 years old!
Anyway, this story is set after the Clow Cards, about when Tomoyo, Eriol,
Sakura and Syaoran are all about 18 years old. Enjoy!
This story is dedicated to Hana no tenshi and Kan-Chan for all of their support. Thank you guys, you really helped me get rid of my writer's block with your reviews! I really appreciate it, even if you don't read this story!
Sacrifices
Tomoyo Daidouji unconsciously pulled her fingers through her long, beautifully straight raven-black hair as she sat outside the doctor's office while the doctor finished with the patient before her. She was momentarily interrupted when she started to cough, but Eriol Hiiragizawa, her best friend, was there to help her out. She hadn't wanted him to come with her, but he mother had had to go to a meeting and Tomoyo would rather have Eriol with her than go alone. Time hadn't really changed Tomoyo very much. She was still beautiful and popular, rich and respected, but nobody really noticed that she was unhappy. To most people she was a really nice, happy person who enjoyed her life and was never unhappy. To people like Eriol, who could read perfect masks, she was a girl who was pretty unhappy because she thought that she was only popular because her best friend was. And because her best friend's boyfriend just happened to be the person that Tomoyo loved. Or thought that she did.
"You okay Tomoyo?" Eriol asked her as her coughing fit ended about half a minute later, "You seem to be out of breath."
"I'm alright thanks Eriol. It's just my cold; I think that it might be the flu," Tomoyo lied, praying that Eriol would believe her. Luckily it was winter time and she had a little head cold, so everyone believed her cough to be a part of that cold. Tomoyo knew that it wasn't though, and that was why she hadn't wanted to bring Eriol. Luckily he was only there to keep her company outside of the doctor's office as she didn't want him to know the truth. She thought that she was dying, but she didn't know whether that was true or not. The patient before her came out and the doctor called her name, so Tomoyo stood up and smiled at Eriol.
"I won't be too long Eriol," she said, smiling a false smile that he could see straight through before walking into the doctor's office.
'I'll wait for you Tomoyo, even if it means that I will spend the rest of my life waiting, I promise that I'll wait,' Eriol thought to himself as he watched her enter the office, 'I'll be there whenever you need me.' Eriol had finally admitted it to himself the night before. He was in love with his best friend, Tomoyo. Whenever he was with her, he felt like he was the luckiest guy in the world. Every time she entered the room he was in, it made him smile. He knew that he loved her, but he didn't know how she felt about him. He sighed and picked up a magazine that was on the table and flicked through it without realizing what the magazine was about.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"Good morning Tomoyo! How have you been feeling?" the doctor asked as Tomoyo entered the room and took a seat in the chair across from her.
"Good morning! I've been feeling a bit better, but my cough seems to be getting a bit worse," Tomoyo admitted, hoping that it was good news. The doctor had the test results open on her desk and she was reading them as she listened to Tomoyo's answer.
"I'm afraid that we've found the reason for that," the doctor sounded as if she had bad news and Tomoyo braced herself for it, "We are pretty sure that you have lung cancer. All of the tests prove it. At this rate, we think that you only have a few months to live. I'm really sorry." Tomoyo couldn't believe it. She was dying.
"What options do I have?" Tomoyo asked, her voice shaking. She had guessed that she was dying, but she had been hoping that she was being paranoid. Now she knew the truth and she didn't really like it.
"Well, the cancer has already started to spread around your body, so a lung transplant would basically be useless. Chemotherapy will prolong the cancer from spreading fast and it could give you more time to live. We suggest that you take this action," the doctor's gaze was of pity and Tomoyo hated it. She didn't want to be looked at with pity, she just wanted to be looked at normally. They talked for another 10 minutes or so about treatments and Tomoyo decided to take Chemotherapy as it would be the best thing for her before she thanked the doctor and walked out of the office to where Eriol was waiting. As soon as he saw her he stood up and waited for her to get to him.
"You okay Tomoyo?" he asked as he saw her face. She had forced on a fake smile and he could see right through it. He knew that she had received bad news and the sadness in her eyes was almost unbearable. He smiled at her, but it was fake. She didn't see through it though, nobody saw through Eriol's masks.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just my stupid cold," she replied, not realizing that Eriol knew the truth about her cough. He knew that it wasn't a part of her cold as he had seen her cough up blood the day before her appointment. She hadn't seen him, but he had watched her in concern and he had known that the cough had nothing to do with her cold. But he wasn't going to tell her that he knew until she wanted him to know. After all, if she was unhappy about her condition, he would only offend her if he pitied her.
"Yeah, I hate colds. They always make me feel terrible," Eriol agreed as they walked into the car park, "But at least they go away after a week or so." Tomoyo looked at him suspiciously, but he just smiled at her and continued to walk towards where Tomoyo's limousine was waiting for them.
"Yeah, I suppose they do," Tomoyo muttered quietly to herself, "But this won't." Eriol heard her comment and knew that whatever was wrong with Tomoyo was a serious thing and that she was probably very sick indeed. That made him worry the whole car ride back to Tomoyo's house. He didn't show it of course, he smiled and told jokes and talked about happy things with Tomoyo, but inside the worry was almost tearing him apart. Tomoyo was really upset, but she put up her masks of happiness and responded to jokes and talked and laughed with Eriol, but she knew that it was hopeless. She only had a few months to live. She had to remember that and make sure that she didn't commit to anything else. As much as she wanted to keep all of her friends, she knew that it would be best for everybody if she cast them all away and left them alone so they wouldn't have to grieve when she died.
"Tomoyo, are you okay?" Tomoyo didn't detect the hidden worry in Eriol's voice as she was too busy thinking. She knew that the first person she would have to get rid of was Eriol, so she answered him coldly.
"Yes, I'm fine," she told him as coldly as she could. Eriol was surprised and hurt at the iciness in her voice, but he could see in her eyes that she was upset about it too,
"That's good. It was just that you have been silent for a while and you seemed spaced out," Eriol smiled at her and she felt as if she was doing the hardest thing in the world by trying to repel him and make him go away.
"Can't I be silent for a while? I was thinking, something that you mustn't do too much of!" Tomoyo's voice was harsh and as cold as ice and Eriol almost recoiled visibly. He knew what she was doing; she was pushing everybody away as she thought that it would be better for everyone. Hat could only mean that she was dying. They were silent for the rest of the journey until they got to Tomoyo's house.
"I just want to tell you that I'll be there whenever you need me. Just call," Eriol told her quietly.
"I'll never need you! I hate you, but I only stayed around because I had no one else to go with and I pitied you," Tomoyo's voice didn't even shake and her eyes were slowly turning to ice, just like her voice. Eriol couldn't tell if that was true or not, and he was deeply hurt.
"I mean what I said. I'll come whenever you are in trouble and I'll help you," Eriol repeated and he turned away and began walking back to his house.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Tomoyo watched as Eriol walked away from her house and she almost broke down and cried. He was her closest friend and she had to push him away. She walked desolately into her house after Eriol had disappeared. Her mother wasn't going to be home for a few hours, so Tomoyo basically had the house to herself.
'A few months! I will never get to fall in love, never go to university and basically have no life when I die! I always dreamed of falling in love, going to university and getting married and having children, but now I'll never be able to do any of that! My dream guy hasn't come and I'll die before I can do all the rest of the things I wanted to do. I bet Eriol read me like a book. I know that he knew something was wrong, that's why I have to get rid of him first,' Tomoyo thought this over and over to herself in her head, silent tears running down her cheeks as she lay on her bed. She lay there for hours before she heard the front door open and close as her mother came home. She heard the footsteps come quickly up the stairs and then the door handle turned.
"Tomoyo, how did the appointment go?" Sonomi Daidouji asked her daughter as she entered the room. As soon as she saw Tomoyo she knew that it wasn't good news.
"I have lung cancer. It's already spreading to my other organs. The doctor says that I only have a few months to live," Tomoyo was getting used to making her voice devoid of emotion. Her voice had come out as cold as ice and she didn't care. Sonomi recoiled at her tone of voice, and when Tomoyo had finished telling hr the news, she burst into tears.
"I can't believe this! I can't! You're only 18, you haven't had the chance to live yet! Have you told Eriol?" Sonomi was trying to control herself, but she remembered the look in Eriol's eyes whenever he looked at Tomoyo and vice versa and she felt sorry for the young man. But mostly she felt sorry for Tomoyo. She knew that Eriol loved Tomoyo deeply and knew that he knew that. She also knew that Tomoyo was still waiting for her true love to come without realizing that he was right in front of her.
"No, I haven't told him, but we had a fight. I doubt that I'll talk to him again," Tomoyo was surprised to find that it hurt to say that she wouldn't talk to him again, it was really strange, "Anyway, I don't want any of my friends to know. They will only pity me."
"But they are your friends, they deserve to know! None of them would abandon you, especially Eriol. They would just treat you normally, like any other person," Sonomi couldn't believe her daughter's negativity. Tomoyo had always been a positive person before, and Sonomi knew that Tomoyo must be very upset to have changed so much.
"I don't want them to know! I'll tell them if I change my mind, but please don't tell them otherwise they will think I can't do anything myself," Tomoyo turned away from her mother so that Sonomi wouldn't see the tears in her eyes.
"It's up to you, but I still believe that you are underestimating your friends," Sonomi got up and walked to the door, "Dinner will be ready in about half an hour." She left the room and tears began to cascade down Tomoyo's cheeks as she lay back down again.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
When Eriol arrived back at his mansion he went inside and went to the piano room, locking the door behind him. He sat down at the piano bench, but his fingers paused on the keys. He couldn't help but wonder if what Tomoyo said was true. Did she hate him? Did she only hang around with him because she pitied him? He knew that something bad was going to happen soon and he knew that he was going to have to be there for Tomoyo, but did she want him there? He was so confused, his thoughts kept on tumbling over each other in an effort to be first. So he just sat at the piano with his hands on the keys for a while, not noticing the time going by. He was still sitting there when he heard a knock on the door.
"Eriol? Are you okay?" It was Nakuru and Eriol knew that she was worried about him. He got up, unlocked the door and skillfully stepped back to avoid getting hit by it flying open to reveal Nakuru.
"I'm fine Nakuru," Eriol tried a fake smile on Nakuru, but it didn't work, "I was just concentrating on something, that's all."
"Is that 'thing' you were concentrating on Tomoyo? Suppi and I both know that you are worried about her. Is she okay?" Nakuru bounced into the room, asking Eriol questions that she was going to make him answer.
"I can see that there's no point in trying to fool you Nakuru. I have been thinking about Tomoyo, but I don't know if she's okay or not. She was smiling and laughing falsely for half of the journey back, before she became all cold and unfriendly. I have a feeling that she never wants to see me again," Eriol went back to his seat on the piano stool, but made no attempt to play. Nakuru knew that he thought that Tomoyo hated him, but she was quite certain that it was the opposite. She believed that Tomoyo loved Eriol as much as Eriol loved Tomoyo, but that Tomoyo didn't know it.
"I'm sure she doesn't hate you. She just probably has PMS or something. Girls always become moody at that time of the month," Nakuru plopped herself down on the floor and stared up at Eriol, "and besides, she wouldn't have been your friend for this long if she hated you."
"You don't understand Nakuru. She told me that she hated me and that the only reason she hung around me was because she pitied me! And when she said it her voice and her eyes were as cold as ice, I know she wasn't lying. She told the truth and now I don't know what to do. Something tells me that danger is coming and that I have to stay near Tomoyo, but she hates me. I don't know what to do," Nakuru had never seen Eriol as upset as he was now and she blamed Tomoyo. Didn't that girl know what she was doing to Eriol?
"Just keep close to Tomoyo. If you keep close to her, you'll find that she doesn't hate you and that she is just lying. She must have a secret or something that she is afraid people will find out and then they will abandon her, so she is abandoning everybody so then she can say that she was the one who rejected everyone, not the one that was rejected. She'll come around before you know it and you'll find that everything is okay," Nakuru assured him before bounding to her feet, "Dinner will be ready soon, in about 10 minutes. I'll call you when it's done." After that she bounded out the door calling for Suppi to come and help her. Eriol sighed, feeling a bit better, but not much. He turned to the piano and soon a sad melody was floating around the house.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
The next day at school, Eriol went straight to Tomoyo as soon as he arrived. She was sitting at a desk in their form room, ignoring everybody else in the room. As soon as he saw her his heartbeat quickened for a second before he managed to slow it down. She was absolutely beautiful.
'Stop staring and go over and talk to her. You've got to let her know that you will still be beside her no matter what she says,' he mentally scolded himself and he went and put his things down on the desk next to hers.
"Hi Tomoyo!" he called to her cheerfully. She just stared at him coldly before looking away without saying anything.
"Tomoyo, I'm not going to stop being your friend. Whatever happens I promise you that I will always be there for you, to protect you as much as I can and to cheer you up if you need a shoulder to cry on. Even if you try to push me away, I will still be there for you. I'm your best friend, please tell me what's going on," Eriol pleaded and he sat down next to her.
"Nothing's wrong, I'm fine! Please, I've already told you that I hate you, what will make you go away?" Tomoyo's voice was still as cold as it was the day before, but even though it hurt Eriol, he just smiled his usual fake smile that no one but Spinel and Nakuru could see through.
"I've already told you. I'm your best friend and nothing will ever change that. I know that you don't hate me, so please stop trying to push me away!" Eriol was desperate. He didn't want to lose Tomoyo and he would do anything to make sure that he didn't.
"I'm not, I'm just trying to get it into your head that I was only friends with you because I pitied you. That is the only reason I became your friend. That and the fact that there was nobody else as Sakura and Syaoran basically ignore everyone. THAT is why I was friends with you and now I hate you more than you could ever know," and with that Tomoyo got up and moved seats so that Eriol couldn't sit next to her. She was still upset about learning that she was dying and she was didn't know how to handle Eriol's promises of undying friendship. She wasn't sure how to handle herself in this situation, not counting anyone else.
"Tomoyo, remember my promise. I will be there," Eriol had moved to the seat behind her and had gotten his books out and seemed to be studying. Actually he was watching her and thinking about her words. She seemed to be sincere, but he knew that if he gave up, she would be lost to him forever.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
After school Tomoyo went for a walk in the park to try to clear her mind. She sat down on the swings and slowly began to swing herself, staring at the ground. It was all happening so fast. She didn't really know what to do about Eriol as he hadn't lied when he said that he would be there for her. Even though she had tried and tried to make him stay away from her, he had kept by her side and she was starting to feel that her mother was right about him.
'Next time I see him I'll tell him,' she decided, but she didn't want to look for him. The next time she saw him it was going to have to be because he found her. She continued to swing herself slowly, not noticing the rain clouds gathering overhead. Eriol noticed however.
"Hey Tomoyo. Don't you think that you should get out of the open? It's about to rain," he told her, sitting down on the swing next to her. Tomoyo looked up at him and couldn't help but notice how handsome he was.
"Eriol I have to tell you something," she said, not noticing that rain was starting to pour down around them. Eriol looked at the ground, trying to fight the urge to kiss Tomoyo right then.
"I'm your best friend Tomoyo, you can tell me anything," he replied, knowing that it was going to be bad news, "Whatever it is, I'll try to help you as much as I can. I promised, remember?"
"Yeah, I remember. I don't think that you will be able to help me this time though. Eriol, I-I'm dying. I have lung cancer that's at the stage where it's spreading to my other organs. The doctors say that I only have a few months to live. I'm really sorry," Tomoyo started to cry silently, wishing that Eriol would say something or at least look up. After a moment Eriol looked up at her, his face pale.
"I'd already guessed that you were dying. But you're wrong. I can help you by being your friend and making sure that you stay happy and accomplish the things you want to do. I promise that I'll help you with that as much as I can," he had to control himself a lot to make sure that he didn't cry as he looked into her eyes.
"Thanks Eriol. I don't know what to do! I'll never be able to meet the guy of my dreams to fall in love with, I'll probably never fall in love. I basically won't have lived when I die, not experienced everything I can in life. You're lucky, you will be able to experience all that and probably live a long life. I'm sorry, I shouldn't complain like this. At least I have lived," Tomoyo looked up at Eriol and saw that he was looking at the ground.
"As I said before Tomoyo, I will help in anyway I can. If that means listening to you complain, I will. After all, that's what friends are for, right?" Eriol was feeling very depressed. Tomoyo had said that she hadn't met any guy and fell in love. That meant that she didn't share his feelings at all, "Anyway, 'm sorry but I have to get home now. You really should head home too. I would walk you but Nakuru asked me to help her with dinner and I'm already late. I'll see you tomorrow." He got up off the swings and started his long walk home.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Tomoyo watched as Eriol left the park, still swinging softly in the wind. Once he had gone she finally realized that it was raining. She stood up and was starting to walk home when someone stepped out of the shadows of the bushes.
"Ms. Mizuki? Is that you?" Tomoyo asked, amazed at seeing her 4th grade teacher standing in front of her, blocking her path.
"Tomoyo, it's nice to see you again. Too bad it was under such bad circumstances," Kaho smirked and pulled out a gun and pointed it at Tomoyo.
"Why are you pointing a gun at me?" Tomoyo asked, getting very scared, 'I thought that Eriol was always going to be here for me when I was in trouble,' she couldn't help thinking to herself.
"You don't know? The only reason that Eriol came back here was because of YOU! You were the only person that he could think about, he missed you so much. You took Eriol away from me and now you will pay for that with your life!" Tomoyo closed her eyes as Kaho smirked again and pulled the trigger.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Eriol was just out of the park when he felt that something was not right. He turned around and walked back quietly, making sure that his aura was lowered and that he made no sound. He both saw and heard the exchange between Kaho and Tomoyo and knew that Kaho was going to shoot her. He knew that if he had to watch Tomoyo die in front of him, he would die too, just thinking about it.
'I promised her that I would always be there, and I will,' Eriol thought, before he got ready to transport in front of Tomoyo. Hw saw Tomoyo close her eyes and saw Kaho's finger almost push the trigger before he teleported in front of Tomoyo. Kaho was so insane that she didn't see or feel Eriol's presence and she pulled the trigger. BANG! The gun went off and the bullet hit Eriol on the left hand side of his chest, just above his heart. Kaho ran off without realizing that she had shot the wrong person as Eriol fell backwards.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
BANG! Tomoyo heard the gun go off and she waited for the impact of a bullet in her chest, but none came. Instead, someone collapsed on her and Tomoyo knew that they had saved her life. She picked herself up and almost went into shock as she saw who it was. It was Eriol.
"Eriol, why did you save me? You knew I was going to die soon anyway. Why didn't you just save yourself and let me die?" Tomoyo asked him, oblivious to the fact that people were coming to investigate the noise. Eriol opened his eyes slowly and smiled at her, and for the first time Tomoyo realized that the smile was fake.
"I promised to protect you as long as could didn't I? In the next few months you could fall in love before you die and you could accomplish a few of your dreams, right? I already know what it's like to be in love with someone, and so I thought that I could help you," Eriol's voice was filled with pain and she knew that he must be dying. In the distance there was a person on their mobile phone, watching the pair closely.
"But what about the person you love? What will they do when they find out that you're not there anymore?" Tomoyo didn't have a clue who Eriol loved, her brain was refusing to work and her heart was very heavy in her chest.
"They don't love me back. They said so themselves," Eriol had to close his eyes the pain was that bad, "You said it. You told me just before that you wanted to meet a guy and fall in love. Ever since I first met you, you have been the person I have loved. That's why I have always been with you and that's why I saved you. I couldn't stand the thought of losing you when I could save you. I love you Tomoyo," Tomoyo was stunned at his words, which were going to be his last words. Tomoyo had been holding him in her lap, and she felt his body go limp. She knew that he had gone. Now she could finally admit something to herself that she had always known.
"I love you too, Eriol," she whispered and she closed her eyes and cried, hugging Eriol's body close to her until an ambulance arrived and took him away. She was instructed to go home and rest, but there was something she had to do first.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
She was crossing the street to go across to Eriol's house when it happened. Kaho was there, sitting on the curb as if she was waiting for Eriol to come home.
"What? I thought that I had killed you!" Kaho called out as she saw Tomoyo approaching the house.
"No, you killed Eriol instead. He put himself in front of me and so the bullet hit him, not me," Tomoyo cried out, wanting to kill Kaho for taking him away.
"You have made me lose Eriol twice now Tomoyo. Now you definitely have to pay," Kaho pulled the gun out again and pointed it at Tomoyo. This time Tomoyo didn't close her eyes as Kaho pulled the trigger, and the bullet hit it's intended target.
"Eriol, I'm coming," Tomoyo whispered as she felt herself being thrown back to the ground and the life flowing out of her, "Then I can tell you that I love you." Those were her last thoughts as her soul rose to the dark sky, the rain washing her blood away from the street.
The End
Well, sorry if it's really gloomy or sad, but I just had to write it to get rid of my writer's block. This type of story has been haunting me- trying to make me write it, so I did. It took me about three hours to write this, so I hope you like it. It's a one-shot, obviously, and I hope you enjoyed it. The idea was given to me after reading Angel-Hiragizawa32's story "Porcelain Tears of Polaris," so go read it; it's really good. Of course my story is not the same, but it inspired me. Anyway, please review as I LOVE reviews and it helps me a lot. Thank you for reading this and remember: E+T and S+S FOREVER!!!!
This story is dedicated to Hana no tenshi and Kan-Chan for all of their support. Thank you guys, you really helped me get rid of my writer's block with your reviews! I really appreciate it, even if you don't read this story!
Sacrifices
Tomoyo Daidouji unconsciously pulled her fingers through her long, beautifully straight raven-black hair as she sat outside the doctor's office while the doctor finished with the patient before her. She was momentarily interrupted when she started to cough, but Eriol Hiiragizawa, her best friend, was there to help her out. She hadn't wanted him to come with her, but he mother had had to go to a meeting and Tomoyo would rather have Eriol with her than go alone. Time hadn't really changed Tomoyo very much. She was still beautiful and popular, rich and respected, but nobody really noticed that she was unhappy. To most people she was a really nice, happy person who enjoyed her life and was never unhappy. To people like Eriol, who could read perfect masks, she was a girl who was pretty unhappy because she thought that she was only popular because her best friend was. And because her best friend's boyfriend just happened to be the person that Tomoyo loved. Or thought that she did.
"You okay Tomoyo?" Eriol asked her as her coughing fit ended about half a minute later, "You seem to be out of breath."
"I'm alright thanks Eriol. It's just my cold; I think that it might be the flu," Tomoyo lied, praying that Eriol would believe her. Luckily it was winter time and she had a little head cold, so everyone believed her cough to be a part of that cold. Tomoyo knew that it wasn't though, and that was why she hadn't wanted to bring Eriol. Luckily he was only there to keep her company outside of the doctor's office as she didn't want him to know the truth. She thought that she was dying, but she didn't know whether that was true or not. The patient before her came out and the doctor called her name, so Tomoyo stood up and smiled at Eriol.
"I won't be too long Eriol," she said, smiling a false smile that he could see straight through before walking into the doctor's office.
'I'll wait for you Tomoyo, even if it means that I will spend the rest of my life waiting, I promise that I'll wait,' Eriol thought to himself as he watched her enter the office, 'I'll be there whenever you need me.' Eriol had finally admitted it to himself the night before. He was in love with his best friend, Tomoyo. Whenever he was with her, he felt like he was the luckiest guy in the world. Every time she entered the room he was in, it made him smile. He knew that he loved her, but he didn't know how she felt about him. He sighed and picked up a magazine that was on the table and flicked through it without realizing what the magazine was about.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"Good morning Tomoyo! How have you been feeling?" the doctor asked as Tomoyo entered the room and took a seat in the chair across from her.
"Good morning! I've been feeling a bit better, but my cough seems to be getting a bit worse," Tomoyo admitted, hoping that it was good news. The doctor had the test results open on her desk and she was reading them as she listened to Tomoyo's answer.
"I'm afraid that we've found the reason for that," the doctor sounded as if she had bad news and Tomoyo braced herself for it, "We are pretty sure that you have lung cancer. All of the tests prove it. At this rate, we think that you only have a few months to live. I'm really sorry." Tomoyo couldn't believe it. She was dying.
"What options do I have?" Tomoyo asked, her voice shaking. She had guessed that she was dying, but she had been hoping that she was being paranoid. Now she knew the truth and she didn't really like it.
"Well, the cancer has already started to spread around your body, so a lung transplant would basically be useless. Chemotherapy will prolong the cancer from spreading fast and it could give you more time to live. We suggest that you take this action," the doctor's gaze was of pity and Tomoyo hated it. She didn't want to be looked at with pity, she just wanted to be looked at normally. They talked for another 10 minutes or so about treatments and Tomoyo decided to take Chemotherapy as it would be the best thing for her before she thanked the doctor and walked out of the office to where Eriol was waiting. As soon as he saw her he stood up and waited for her to get to him.
"You okay Tomoyo?" he asked as he saw her face. She had forced on a fake smile and he could see right through it. He knew that she had received bad news and the sadness in her eyes was almost unbearable. He smiled at her, but it was fake. She didn't see through it though, nobody saw through Eriol's masks.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just my stupid cold," she replied, not realizing that Eriol knew the truth about her cough. He knew that it wasn't a part of her cold as he had seen her cough up blood the day before her appointment. She hadn't seen him, but he had watched her in concern and he had known that the cough had nothing to do with her cold. But he wasn't going to tell her that he knew until she wanted him to know. After all, if she was unhappy about her condition, he would only offend her if he pitied her.
"Yeah, I hate colds. They always make me feel terrible," Eriol agreed as they walked into the car park, "But at least they go away after a week or so." Tomoyo looked at him suspiciously, but he just smiled at her and continued to walk towards where Tomoyo's limousine was waiting for them.
"Yeah, I suppose they do," Tomoyo muttered quietly to herself, "But this won't." Eriol heard her comment and knew that whatever was wrong with Tomoyo was a serious thing and that she was probably very sick indeed. That made him worry the whole car ride back to Tomoyo's house. He didn't show it of course, he smiled and told jokes and talked about happy things with Tomoyo, but inside the worry was almost tearing him apart. Tomoyo was really upset, but she put up her masks of happiness and responded to jokes and talked and laughed with Eriol, but she knew that it was hopeless. She only had a few months to live. She had to remember that and make sure that she didn't commit to anything else. As much as she wanted to keep all of her friends, she knew that it would be best for everybody if she cast them all away and left them alone so they wouldn't have to grieve when she died.
"Tomoyo, are you okay?" Tomoyo didn't detect the hidden worry in Eriol's voice as she was too busy thinking. She knew that the first person she would have to get rid of was Eriol, so she answered him coldly.
"Yes, I'm fine," she told him as coldly as she could. Eriol was surprised and hurt at the iciness in her voice, but he could see in her eyes that she was upset about it too,
"That's good. It was just that you have been silent for a while and you seemed spaced out," Eriol smiled at her and she felt as if she was doing the hardest thing in the world by trying to repel him and make him go away.
"Can't I be silent for a while? I was thinking, something that you mustn't do too much of!" Tomoyo's voice was harsh and as cold as ice and Eriol almost recoiled visibly. He knew what she was doing; she was pushing everybody away as she thought that it would be better for everyone. Hat could only mean that she was dying. They were silent for the rest of the journey until they got to Tomoyo's house.
"I just want to tell you that I'll be there whenever you need me. Just call," Eriol told her quietly.
"I'll never need you! I hate you, but I only stayed around because I had no one else to go with and I pitied you," Tomoyo's voice didn't even shake and her eyes were slowly turning to ice, just like her voice. Eriol couldn't tell if that was true or not, and he was deeply hurt.
"I mean what I said. I'll come whenever you are in trouble and I'll help you," Eriol repeated and he turned away and began walking back to his house.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Tomoyo watched as Eriol walked away from her house and she almost broke down and cried. He was her closest friend and she had to push him away. She walked desolately into her house after Eriol had disappeared. Her mother wasn't going to be home for a few hours, so Tomoyo basically had the house to herself.
'A few months! I will never get to fall in love, never go to university and basically have no life when I die! I always dreamed of falling in love, going to university and getting married and having children, but now I'll never be able to do any of that! My dream guy hasn't come and I'll die before I can do all the rest of the things I wanted to do. I bet Eriol read me like a book. I know that he knew something was wrong, that's why I have to get rid of him first,' Tomoyo thought this over and over to herself in her head, silent tears running down her cheeks as she lay on her bed. She lay there for hours before she heard the front door open and close as her mother came home. She heard the footsteps come quickly up the stairs and then the door handle turned.
"Tomoyo, how did the appointment go?" Sonomi Daidouji asked her daughter as she entered the room. As soon as she saw Tomoyo she knew that it wasn't good news.
"I have lung cancer. It's already spreading to my other organs. The doctor says that I only have a few months to live," Tomoyo was getting used to making her voice devoid of emotion. Her voice had come out as cold as ice and she didn't care. Sonomi recoiled at her tone of voice, and when Tomoyo had finished telling hr the news, she burst into tears.
"I can't believe this! I can't! You're only 18, you haven't had the chance to live yet! Have you told Eriol?" Sonomi was trying to control herself, but she remembered the look in Eriol's eyes whenever he looked at Tomoyo and vice versa and she felt sorry for the young man. But mostly she felt sorry for Tomoyo. She knew that Eriol loved Tomoyo deeply and knew that he knew that. She also knew that Tomoyo was still waiting for her true love to come without realizing that he was right in front of her.
"No, I haven't told him, but we had a fight. I doubt that I'll talk to him again," Tomoyo was surprised to find that it hurt to say that she wouldn't talk to him again, it was really strange, "Anyway, I don't want any of my friends to know. They will only pity me."
"But they are your friends, they deserve to know! None of them would abandon you, especially Eriol. They would just treat you normally, like any other person," Sonomi couldn't believe her daughter's negativity. Tomoyo had always been a positive person before, and Sonomi knew that Tomoyo must be very upset to have changed so much.
"I don't want them to know! I'll tell them if I change my mind, but please don't tell them otherwise they will think I can't do anything myself," Tomoyo turned away from her mother so that Sonomi wouldn't see the tears in her eyes.
"It's up to you, but I still believe that you are underestimating your friends," Sonomi got up and walked to the door, "Dinner will be ready in about half an hour." She left the room and tears began to cascade down Tomoyo's cheeks as she lay back down again.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
When Eriol arrived back at his mansion he went inside and went to the piano room, locking the door behind him. He sat down at the piano bench, but his fingers paused on the keys. He couldn't help but wonder if what Tomoyo said was true. Did she hate him? Did she only hang around with him because she pitied him? He knew that something bad was going to happen soon and he knew that he was going to have to be there for Tomoyo, but did she want him there? He was so confused, his thoughts kept on tumbling over each other in an effort to be first. So he just sat at the piano with his hands on the keys for a while, not noticing the time going by. He was still sitting there when he heard a knock on the door.
"Eriol? Are you okay?" It was Nakuru and Eriol knew that she was worried about him. He got up, unlocked the door and skillfully stepped back to avoid getting hit by it flying open to reveal Nakuru.
"I'm fine Nakuru," Eriol tried a fake smile on Nakuru, but it didn't work, "I was just concentrating on something, that's all."
"Is that 'thing' you were concentrating on Tomoyo? Suppi and I both know that you are worried about her. Is she okay?" Nakuru bounced into the room, asking Eriol questions that she was going to make him answer.
"I can see that there's no point in trying to fool you Nakuru. I have been thinking about Tomoyo, but I don't know if she's okay or not. She was smiling and laughing falsely for half of the journey back, before she became all cold and unfriendly. I have a feeling that she never wants to see me again," Eriol went back to his seat on the piano stool, but made no attempt to play. Nakuru knew that he thought that Tomoyo hated him, but she was quite certain that it was the opposite. She believed that Tomoyo loved Eriol as much as Eriol loved Tomoyo, but that Tomoyo didn't know it.
"I'm sure she doesn't hate you. She just probably has PMS or something. Girls always become moody at that time of the month," Nakuru plopped herself down on the floor and stared up at Eriol, "and besides, she wouldn't have been your friend for this long if she hated you."
"You don't understand Nakuru. She told me that she hated me and that the only reason she hung around me was because she pitied me! And when she said it her voice and her eyes were as cold as ice, I know she wasn't lying. She told the truth and now I don't know what to do. Something tells me that danger is coming and that I have to stay near Tomoyo, but she hates me. I don't know what to do," Nakuru had never seen Eriol as upset as he was now and she blamed Tomoyo. Didn't that girl know what she was doing to Eriol?
"Just keep close to Tomoyo. If you keep close to her, you'll find that she doesn't hate you and that she is just lying. She must have a secret or something that she is afraid people will find out and then they will abandon her, so she is abandoning everybody so then she can say that she was the one who rejected everyone, not the one that was rejected. She'll come around before you know it and you'll find that everything is okay," Nakuru assured him before bounding to her feet, "Dinner will be ready soon, in about 10 minutes. I'll call you when it's done." After that she bounded out the door calling for Suppi to come and help her. Eriol sighed, feeling a bit better, but not much. He turned to the piano and soon a sad melody was floating around the house.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
The next day at school, Eriol went straight to Tomoyo as soon as he arrived. She was sitting at a desk in their form room, ignoring everybody else in the room. As soon as he saw her his heartbeat quickened for a second before he managed to slow it down. She was absolutely beautiful.
'Stop staring and go over and talk to her. You've got to let her know that you will still be beside her no matter what she says,' he mentally scolded himself and he went and put his things down on the desk next to hers.
"Hi Tomoyo!" he called to her cheerfully. She just stared at him coldly before looking away without saying anything.
"Tomoyo, I'm not going to stop being your friend. Whatever happens I promise you that I will always be there for you, to protect you as much as I can and to cheer you up if you need a shoulder to cry on. Even if you try to push me away, I will still be there for you. I'm your best friend, please tell me what's going on," Eriol pleaded and he sat down next to her.
"Nothing's wrong, I'm fine! Please, I've already told you that I hate you, what will make you go away?" Tomoyo's voice was still as cold as it was the day before, but even though it hurt Eriol, he just smiled his usual fake smile that no one but Spinel and Nakuru could see through.
"I've already told you. I'm your best friend and nothing will ever change that. I know that you don't hate me, so please stop trying to push me away!" Eriol was desperate. He didn't want to lose Tomoyo and he would do anything to make sure that he didn't.
"I'm not, I'm just trying to get it into your head that I was only friends with you because I pitied you. That is the only reason I became your friend. That and the fact that there was nobody else as Sakura and Syaoran basically ignore everyone. THAT is why I was friends with you and now I hate you more than you could ever know," and with that Tomoyo got up and moved seats so that Eriol couldn't sit next to her. She was still upset about learning that she was dying and she was didn't know how to handle Eriol's promises of undying friendship. She wasn't sure how to handle herself in this situation, not counting anyone else.
"Tomoyo, remember my promise. I will be there," Eriol had moved to the seat behind her and had gotten his books out and seemed to be studying. Actually he was watching her and thinking about her words. She seemed to be sincere, but he knew that if he gave up, she would be lost to him forever.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
After school Tomoyo went for a walk in the park to try to clear her mind. She sat down on the swings and slowly began to swing herself, staring at the ground. It was all happening so fast. She didn't really know what to do about Eriol as he hadn't lied when he said that he would be there for her. Even though she had tried and tried to make him stay away from her, he had kept by her side and she was starting to feel that her mother was right about him.
'Next time I see him I'll tell him,' she decided, but she didn't want to look for him. The next time she saw him it was going to have to be because he found her. She continued to swing herself slowly, not noticing the rain clouds gathering overhead. Eriol noticed however.
"Hey Tomoyo. Don't you think that you should get out of the open? It's about to rain," he told her, sitting down on the swing next to her. Tomoyo looked up at him and couldn't help but notice how handsome he was.
"Eriol I have to tell you something," she said, not noticing that rain was starting to pour down around them. Eriol looked at the ground, trying to fight the urge to kiss Tomoyo right then.
"I'm your best friend Tomoyo, you can tell me anything," he replied, knowing that it was going to be bad news, "Whatever it is, I'll try to help you as much as I can. I promised, remember?"
"Yeah, I remember. I don't think that you will be able to help me this time though. Eriol, I-I'm dying. I have lung cancer that's at the stage where it's spreading to my other organs. The doctors say that I only have a few months to live. I'm really sorry," Tomoyo started to cry silently, wishing that Eriol would say something or at least look up. After a moment Eriol looked up at her, his face pale.
"I'd already guessed that you were dying. But you're wrong. I can help you by being your friend and making sure that you stay happy and accomplish the things you want to do. I promise that I'll help you with that as much as I can," he had to control himself a lot to make sure that he didn't cry as he looked into her eyes.
"Thanks Eriol. I don't know what to do! I'll never be able to meet the guy of my dreams to fall in love with, I'll probably never fall in love. I basically won't have lived when I die, not experienced everything I can in life. You're lucky, you will be able to experience all that and probably live a long life. I'm sorry, I shouldn't complain like this. At least I have lived," Tomoyo looked up at Eriol and saw that he was looking at the ground.
"As I said before Tomoyo, I will help in anyway I can. If that means listening to you complain, I will. After all, that's what friends are for, right?" Eriol was feeling very depressed. Tomoyo had said that she hadn't met any guy and fell in love. That meant that she didn't share his feelings at all, "Anyway, 'm sorry but I have to get home now. You really should head home too. I would walk you but Nakuru asked me to help her with dinner and I'm already late. I'll see you tomorrow." He got up off the swings and started his long walk home.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Tomoyo watched as Eriol left the park, still swinging softly in the wind. Once he had gone she finally realized that it was raining. She stood up and was starting to walk home when someone stepped out of the shadows of the bushes.
"Ms. Mizuki? Is that you?" Tomoyo asked, amazed at seeing her 4th grade teacher standing in front of her, blocking her path.
"Tomoyo, it's nice to see you again. Too bad it was under such bad circumstances," Kaho smirked and pulled out a gun and pointed it at Tomoyo.
"Why are you pointing a gun at me?" Tomoyo asked, getting very scared, 'I thought that Eriol was always going to be here for me when I was in trouble,' she couldn't help thinking to herself.
"You don't know? The only reason that Eriol came back here was because of YOU! You were the only person that he could think about, he missed you so much. You took Eriol away from me and now you will pay for that with your life!" Tomoyo closed her eyes as Kaho smirked again and pulled the trigger.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Eriol was just out of the park when he felt that something was not right. He turned around and walked back quietly, making sure that his aura was lowered and that he made no sound. He both saw and heard the exchange between Kaho and Tomoyo and knew that Kaho was going to shoot her. He knew that if he had to watch Tomoyo die in front of him, he would die too, just thinking about it.
'I promised her that I would always be there, and I will,' Eriol thought, before he got ready to transport in front of Tomoyo. Hw saw Tomoyo close her eyes and saw Kaho's finger almost push the trigger before he teleported in front of Tomoyo. Kaho was so insane that she didn't see or feel Eriol's presence and she pulled the trigger. BANG! The gun went off and the bullet hit Eriol on the left hand side of his chest, just above his heart. Kaho ran off without realizing that she had shot the wrong person as Eriol fell backwards.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
BANG! Tomoyo heard the gun go off and she waited for the impact of a bullet in her chest, but none came. Instead, someone collapsed on her and Tomoyo knew that they had saved her life. She picked herself up and almost went into shock as she saw who it was. It was Eriol.
"Eriol, why did you save me? You knew I was going to die soon anyway. Why didn't you just save yourself and let me die?" Tomoyo asked him, oblivious to the fact that people were coming to investigate the noise. Eriol opened his eyes slowly and smiled at her, and for the first time Tomoyo realized that the smile was fake.
"I promised to protect you as long as could didn't I? In the next few months you could fall in love before you die and you could accomplish a few of your dreams, right? I already know what it's like to be in love with someone, and so I thought that I could help you," Eriol's voice was filled with pain and she knew that he must be dying. In the distance there was a person on their mobile phone, watching the pair closely.
"But what about the person you love? What will they do when they find out that you're not there anymore?" Tomoyo didn't have a clue who Eriol loved, her brain was refusing to work and her heart was very heavy in her chest.
"They don't love me back. They said so themselves," Eriol had to close his eyes the pain was that bad, "You said it. You told me just before that you wanted to meet a guy and fall in love. Ever since I first met you, you have been the person I have loved. That's why I have always been with you and that's why I saved you. I couldn't stand the thought of losing you when I could save you. I love you Tomoyo," Tomoyo was stunned at his words, which were going to be his last words. Tomoyo had been holding him in her lap, and she felt his body go limp. She knew that he had gone. Now she could finally admit something to herself that she had always known.
"I love you too, Eriol," she whispered and she closed her eyes and cried, hugging Eriol's body close to her until an ambulance arrived and took him away. She was instructed to go home and rest, but there was something she had to do first.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
She was crossing the street to go across to Eriol's house when it happened. Kaho was there, sitting on the curb as if she was waiting for Eriol to come home.
"What? I thought that I had killed you!" Kaho called out as she saw Tomoyo approaching the house.
"No, you killed Eriol instead. He put himself in front of me and so the bullet hit him, not me," Tomoyo cried out, wanting to kill Kaho for taking him away.
"You have made me lose Eriol twice now Tomoyo. Now you definitely have to pay," Kaho pulled the gun out again and pointed it at Tomoyo. This time Tomoyo didn't close her eyes as Kaho pulled the trigger, and the bullet hit it's intended target.
"Eriol, I'm coming," Tomoyo whispered as she felt herself being thrown back to the ground and the life flowing out of her, "Then I can tell you that I love you." Those were her last thoughts as her soul rose to the dark sky, the rain washing her blood away from the street.
The End
Well, sorry if it's really gloomy or sad, but I just had to write it to get rid of my writer's block. This type of story has been haunting me- trying to make me write it, so I did. It took me about three hours to write this, so I hope you like it. It's a one-shot, obviously, and I hope you enjoyed it. The idea was given to me after reading Angel-Hiragizawa32's story "Porcelain Tears of Polaris," so go read it; it's really good. Of course my story is not the same, but it inspired me. Anyway, please review as I LOVE reviews and it helps me a lot. Thank you for reading this and remember: E+T and S+S FOREVER!!!!