FULL SUMMARY:

Four years ago, Izaya Orihara was unknowingly subjected to medical treatment that made it possible for him to bear children. Four years ago he was impregnated by Shizuo Heiwajima after a one night stand.

One year after their son's birth, Shizuo, in anger after an argument, scorned Izaya and told him he wanted nothing to do with the 'mini-flea'

So Izaya took their son to travel, leaving Tokyo and breaking the heart of his repentant enemy.

Four years later, Izaya has returned to settle down, bringing home a cheerful and bright son who seems to despise 'Daddy' for hurting 'Mommy' all those years ago.

Notes:

Hello to any random readers.

I'm still relatively new to Fanfiction, so forgive me for any mistakes I may make.

Before anyone begins reading, they should check out the WARNINGS:

This story contains extreme medical inaccuracies (obviously) and potential OOC (since, well, Izaya and Shizuo have a love child) Also, I'm not that familiar with Male Pregnancy stories. They never really appealed to me but then one day inspiration hit. Another forewarning, I didn't want to make the baby an original character, so I used Psyche. Also, I've never read a Psyche-centered story before so any information I got about his character was through Google. Finally, this story takes place after the first Durarara! anime series.

Hope you enjoy!

Prologue

It had been so hard, back then.

Hearing the impossible diagnosis of being pregnant from his remorseful childhood friend. Shinra had used him as a lab rat at the behest of his kooky father.

He'd never wanted children. Thought he could never love one. He believed in the rights of abortion, and gladly would have taken the option, if it had been available for him.

But he couldn't. The procedure was life threatening, and he was too much of a coward to risk dying. So he'd reluctantly agreed to have it, always said with such disgust and detestation. He'd give it away when it was born, to a family who actually wanted to have a baby, and never worry about the wretched parasite ever again.

He'd been seething, furious with Shinra for doing this to him, and furious at himself for sinking so low as to sleep with that monster. It had been messy, detestable. He'd been fucked in an alley like some prostitute, moaning and bucking and thoroughly enjoying it. The attraction had always been there, for both of them, but they'd never dreamed on acting on something so taboo. It just…happened. An accident. It had been so cliche that Izaya had wanted to vomit. Vomit like he did each morning ever since it had been created.

He could still remember how it felt, ribbons of Shizuo's essence dripping down his thighs, his neck ravaged with bites that left him bleeding and bruised. The brute, unsurprisingly, had been animalistic in his lovemaking. And once they were both sated, they'd gone their separate ways, resenting themselves for their lapse in judgement.

Shizuo was lucky. All he had to do was wash the reminder away, smoke a few cigarettes, and fool himself into thinking it never happened.

Izaya was different. He had the reminder living inside of him, twisting and manipulating his body, making his stomach swell and his hormones rage like he was the opposite sex. He couldn't forget. It was impossible.

He had no choice but to keep it, and under Shinra and Shingen's instructions he managed his condition the best he could, taking a year off work so he could carry it to full-term without any complications. Celty had been helpful, putting aside her dislike for the informant if only for the sake of the unborn child inside of him, and ran errands and other duties for him without a single complaint for his entire pregnancy.

It went by fast, the pregnancy, even with all of his suffering, and he couldn't quite pinpoint when he actually started thinking of the baby inside him fondly. Perhaps it was when the gender was confirmed, or when Celty shyly gave him a soft blue teddy bear to gift it with when it was born, or maybe it was when Shinra and she started treating him like a real extended member of family instead of a charity case.

Shinra would always scold him, when he'd speak of the child like it was a parasite, tell him that the baby was a "Gift" and that soon enough he would be "Cradling that beautiful gift in his own arms".

And soon enough he was. Exhausted after a C-section, laying on an operation table Shinra had had prepared for the last couple of months, with a delicate little bundle in his arms. The baby had been a few weeks early, premature, and for the first time in his life Izaya felt true, gut-wrenching fear. That baby, sticky with birth and with closed eyes, was his baby. His own human. A human he could love fiercely, without judgement, and a human who would love him fiercely in return.

He's beautiful…

He had thought, ghosting a trembling hand over his soft head. When the baby began to cry, he had shushed it, holding the baby to his chest gently and rocking it as if it were second-nature. Celty had gushed at him, quite often, that he had had a dormant 'motherly nature' dwelling inside of him all of this time.

"What's his name?" Shinra had asked quietly, eyes wide as he regarded this new side of his friend.

Celty had 'looked' to him keenly, clearly anticipating his answer. She'd tried to convince him into reading baby name books with her many times, and she was excited.

Izaya didn't know what possessed him. It was an unusual name, it didn't make any sense, and it was completely random when he breathed "Psyche."

Shinra had peered at him strangely. "Um…are you sure that's what you really want to-" He had been cut off then, by Celty elbowing him roughly. "Sure. Why not."

[I think it's unique, Izaya.] Celty had showed her PDA.

A unique name, suiting a very unique son.

In an ideal world, things would have been simple after that. But Izaya had been absent from Ikebukuro for far too long, and there was only so many times Namie could cover for him when the beast came suspiciously sniffing around.

Izaya had been grateful for his large amount of savings. Without them, he wouldn't have been able to afford the woman's wage, and he would lose the person who had been running the majority of his household errands. As much as it had frustrated him, he had to stay hidden away throughout his pregnancy. Even going out for a stroll was too much of a risk when you were Izaya Orihara.

Even when Psyche came home with him, his eyes finally beginning to open, he had been afraid to leave his apartment. His baby was so small and fragile, if something were to go wrong out there, if someone were to hurt him…

He should have trusted Namie to watch him for a few hours here and there, because Shizuo finally came storming into his apartment one day, wondering what the 'bastard flea' was scheming, only to come across Izaya pacing across the floors, singing softly to try and coerce the energetic little bundle into sleep. Psyche had been hyperactive, even back then.

It had been inevitable that Izaya tell Shizuo he was a father. He hadn't been in denial about this, but he hadn't wanted it to be so soon. He'd wanted it to be on his terms, once Psyche was a little older and hardier, in case Shizuo accidentally hurt him in the ensuing argument.

And oh, had there been an ensuing argument. Izaya had been fierce, clutching Psyche protectively, and luckily Shizuo hadn't resorted to throwing things. It had taken a few hours for the man to calm down and actually listen, and a few hours after that for Shizuo to actually believe Psyche was his son. He'd needed Shinra and Celty's testaments, and he had been extremely betrayed when he realised that the Dullahan had been lying to him.

Suddenly, a little bit of excitement had swelled Shizuo's chest, and his eyes had glimmered in hopefulness. He'd looked at Psyche the way a father should look at a son, with all of that love and tenderness, and held out his arms expectantly. "Can I hold him? I promise I'll be gentle."

And Izaya had glared at him coldly. "Over my dead body." He wasn't about to let that monster touch his baby. That monster with his dangerous strength, he could crush Psyche's skull with just the slightest twitch of his hand! He could pry Psyche from his cold dead fingertips!

"Why the fuck not!?" Shizuo had growled. "He's my kid as well!"

"Slowly, Shizuo, slowly." Shinra had said cautiously, giving the former bartender a firm look. "Mothers are very protective over their young, and I'm afraid this mother doesn't trust you enough yet." Shinra had went on, ignoring Izaya's deadly look. "Wait until Izaya's ready. Celty and I are even sore pressed to hold him!"

But Shizuo had been too angry to listen. "You had no right to hide this from me! I don't care if your flea instincts are making you feel possessive, that kid is my son as well and I want joint custody!"

Izaya had let out a derisive laugh. "Is that so? My, my, Shizu-chan, you make it sound like we're divorcing. Go ahead and get yourself a lawyer. We both know that no court is going to allow you, the famed monster of Ikebukuro, any kind of custody."

[Izaya!] Celty had been dismayed. [Don't be so cruel! Shizuo is right! He's the father!]

"Surprise, surprise, Celty's on Shizu-chan's side." Izaya had spat. "Listen up protozoan, I've carried Psyche inside me for nine months. I delivered him, I saw him open his eyes to the world for the first time, and I've bathed, fed, and cleaned him. This kid is practically attached to me. I can't even set him in a crib because he cries when we're separated! I can't even go to the bathroom without him! And you have the stones to ask me for joint-custody!? Your brain must be less formed than I thought!"

"You say all this like I had a choice in the matter!" Shizuo had practically roared. "If I'd known you were carrying my son I would have been there for you!"

"YOU WOULD HAVE KILLED ME!" Izaya had finally lost his cool, his eyes becoming wet. He was tired. He hardly slept anymore, and Psyche was getting hungry, and he needed to be changed…

Tears dripped down his face, and he turned away in mortification.

"Izaya…" Shinra had said in concern. "When's the last time you slept?"

He'd shrugged. "I'm not sure…"

A heaved sigh of concern. "You don't have to be a single-parent, Izaya. Even if you won't allow Shizuo, Celty and I are more than willing to-"

"No." Izaya had denied strongly. "I need to do this by myself. If this is what it's going to be like for the rest of my life, I need to get used to it."

"You damn flea…" Shizuo's voice had been wavering. "I'm not gonna let it be like that. I'm gonna be there for my kid, and if that by extension means I've got to put up with your scrawny ass, then I'll do it."

And that had been that.

For all his hate for Shizuo, he couldn't deny him rights to Psyche. He also didn't want to deprive Psyche of having two parents, when Shizuo was willing to be there.

That didn't mean Izaya trusted Shizuo straight away.

After much bickering, Shizuo had mulishly decided to move into Izaya's apartment, sleeping on the lounge for months until Izaya finally allowed him to share a bed. For a long time, Izaya hovered ceaselessly when Shizuo was around Psyche, always hesitating to hand him over, and glaring critically when the brute handled their son. Much to the informant's relief, Shizuo continued with his work, which meant Izaya got to spend most days alone with Psyche (with the exception of a grumpy Namie), which, much to his satisfaction, ofcourse meant Psyche liked him most. Babies tended to naturally like their mother's more than their father's, and even though Izaya wasn't a woman, it still applied, even with Shizuo home.

It wasn't uncommon (especially in the first few weeks) for Izaya to hand Psyche over and the baby begin to positively squall for Izaya, big fat droplets dripping down his smooth cheeks.

And the more Psyche grew, the more he resembled Izaya (which made the vain man very proud) sharing his dark raven hair and pale skin. His eyes were similar as well, although of a lighter shade than Izaya's, almost pink.

In Izaya's opinion, Psyche was the most darling little boy in the whole world, and certainly the most adorable. His baby was perfect!

Shizuo, of course, always guffawed when Izaya went on his rants about Psyche's perfection, and chortled when Izaya went overboard with his ridiculous baby talk. "I don't know why you argue," He'd say in a richly amused voice. "You're definitely mommy." One time, he'd made this comment whilst holding Psyche. He'd been tossing him up in the air and catching him, much to Psyche's delight, who giggled manically.

Izaya had merely watched with thinly guised disapproval. He knew from their fights that Shizuo had good reflexes, but he still couldn't help but worry Shizuo would drop him. "Whatever." Izaya poked his tongue out, folding Psyche's laundry. He could have had Namie do it, but he preferred to do things for his baby himself.

"Can you say ma-ma, Psyche?" Shizuo asked of the cooing baby. "Or maybe fl-ea."

Izaya had intended to tell Shizuo that if that was Psyche's first word, he'd slice him to ribbons, but instead he was left snickering madly when Psyche promptly vomited all over his face. "Serves you right." He'd barely managed to get out. "I told you I'd just fed him."

Shizuo, whose face was coated in milky vomit, made a retching sound. "Fuck." He held Psyche, who had a stream of vomit dripping from his open mouth, at arms-length. "Stop laughing!" He growled, which only served to make Izaya laugh more. "Come and deal with this fucking brat, will you!?"

This had Izaya stop laughing. Placing down the pink onesie he had been holding (Shizuo always shook his head, but Izaya swore Psyche seemed to like them) he flounced over, grabbing Psyche away and wiping his chin on the bib he was still wearing. "Bad daddy." He said to the baby. "Psyche-chan isn't a brat, is he?" He bounced the baby up and down for a moment, but stopped so as to not have a repeat incident. "Psyche-chan is a little angel. Daddy is just a moron for throwing Psyche-chan up in the air~"

"Kill, kill, kill…" Shizuo was heard muttering as he stomped in the direction of the bathroom.

And Izaya had laughed again.

Those had been the good times. For all of his faults, Shizuo had been a good father. A little gruff, for certain, but a good one nevertheless. Psyche had adored him, and although he'd still cry for Izaya at night, he loved playing with Shizuo during the day.

Izaya had always known that just because you lusted for someone, it didn't mean you loved them, he'd reminded himself of that many times with Shizuo, but Psyche ended up being their glue. He brought them together, and they stuck splendidly, despite the bickering.

Yes. They were like a real family.

But things couldn't last that way, could it?

There was no gradual split-apart. It didn't take weeks or months. It merely happened.

"Oh Psyche-chan!" Izaya smiled at his son, receiving a bright beam in return. "You look so handsome!"

"He's wearing pink and white." Shizuo dully disagreed. "He looks girly."

"I'll have you know Psyche pointed these out to me." Izaya huffed. "Don't listen to Daddy. He has no right to judge when he wears bartender outfits all of the time." He wrapped his nicely dressed son in an engulfing hug.

"Mama." Psyche giggled, in his high-pitched baby voice. "Mama!"

Izaya barely refrained from frowning. Despite his desire to at least be papa, Shizuo's insistence had turned him into 'mama', and he didn't have the heart to berate Psyche when it had been his first word. Turning one today, Psyche could also say Dada, and was learning other words as well, although most of the time he just babbled nonsensically. Izaya was proud of his son, as he hadn't expected him to be able to say tangible words until eighteen months. But, like his 'mother', he certainly liked to talk, especially in musical tones.

Psyche seemed to rather like music, calming down when Izaya sang, and listening to music when he played with his toys. Izaya didn't allow him much television (which Shizuo scoffed at) but when Izaya did switch it on, he would always stare dumbstruck whenever a musical commercial or jingle was heard.

Izaya released his son, kissing him on the forehead with a theatrical smacking noise. "I can't believe my baby is turning one…" He whispered, more to himself than Shizuo. "He used to be so tiny…"

"Don't tell me you're going to get weepy." Shizuo ribbed with a smirk. "He's not even properly walking yet and already you're getting sentimental."

Psyche had begun taking his first wobbly steps not that long ago under Shizuo's encouragement, and Izaya always watched fretfully in case he fell and hurt himself.

"Shut up, protozoan." Izaya sniffed snobbishly. "I'm allowed to get emotional about my baby." Psyche crawled up in his sitting lap, and he stroked his soft hair. "Besides," This time he wore a smirk. "Don't act like you didn't get all teary the first time he called you Dada."

Shizuo flushed. "I didn't. I just had something in my eyes."

"Yeah, whatever you say, Shizu-chan~" Izaya teased. "I wonder what all those lowlifes would think if they knew the fortissimo of Ikebukuro cried over a baby's words."

"Speaking of lowlifes," Shizuo grumbled, noticing the time. "I have to get to work." He stood from his position on the lounge, and bent down to embrace the raven from behind, pecking his son on the forehead. "You be a good boy for Mommy, Psyche. No tantrums or Daddy will-"

"Stop threatening him." Izaya rolled his eyes. "Psyche-chan is always a good boy. You know he doesn't throw real tantrums. He's just trying to communicate."

"Dada!" Psyche reached up a hand to grab at Shizuo's sunglasses.

"Yes, Daddy has to go now." He informed his son reluctantly. "But I'll see you at Aunty Celty and Uncle Shinra's later for your party, okay?" He shared a short farewell kiss with Izaya.

Psyche appeared confused when Shizuo stood up, and began grabbing for him. "Dada!"

"Don't be late, okay?" Izaya said sternly. "Psyche can't stay up all night waiting, so arrive on time or we'll have to celebrate without you."

"I'm going to be there, okay?" Shizuo promised, his face awash with guilt. "Look, Tom's been so good throughout all of this, when he called last night for me to work today, I couldn't-"

Izaya sighed. "I understand, Shizu-chan."

I understand that Tom's favour means more than your son's first birthday.

Izaya didn't want to fight around Psyche, so he didn't say this, but judging by Shizuo's perturbed face, he didn't need to say it. The brute knew. He'd gotten awfully good at reading Izaya ever since he had moved in.

"Izaya, you know-"

"Wave goodbye to Daddy, Psyche-chan!" Izaya bode in a perky voice. "Bye Daddy!"

Psyche raised a small, spit saturated hand and waved clumsily, looking to Izaya immediately for recognition.

"What a clever boy you are, Psyche-chan!" Izaya praised, tickling his son under the chin. "Does that tickle?" He said teasingly, when Psyche began giggling. He gave another sigh when he heard the door shut behind Shizuo.

He knew the blonde's work could be unpredictable, but they had a child now, a child who was celebrating his first birthday. They'd planned to go to the playground together, and push Psyche on the swing and go down the slide together, but Izaya didn't fancy going alone. Truth be told, he was too nervous about being recognised. With Shizuo, no one would dare approach him.

Then they were going to get Psyche some shaved ice, and go for a stroll together, Psyche sitting atop Shizuo's shoulders and peering downwards in interest.

It doesn't matter.

Izaya thought resolutely.

I can give Psyche the perfect birthday without him.

And he knew how.

"Psyche-chan, do you want to read some musical books with Mommy?"

He would make this day about Psyche, by appealing to his love for music. Playing musical games, singing songs…

I don't need Shizu-chan to give my son what he deserves.

But God did he want him.

"Look who it is!" Shinra cheered upon opening the door. "It's the birthday boy and his mommy!"

Izaya pointedly tapped at his pocket with a glare, a reminder that he was still carrying one of his trusted switchblades.

"Unca!" Psyche squealed, squirming in Izaya's hold. "Unca!"

"He's calling me uncle!" Shinra proclaimed, a starry look in his eye. "Imagine me, an uncle! And at such a young age as well!"

Izaya rolled his eyes. "Can you move aside? I'm kind of towing a tonne of presents." Izaya had used the stroller to transport them all, cramming them inside with no small amount of difficulty. Psyche hated the stroller. He always screamed whenever he was placed inside, wanting to be held by his parents. Izaya, of course, obliged, but Shizuo always grouched about it, telling him he was being too soft.

So with one hand cradling his son, and one hand pushing the stroller, he had soldiered all the way to Celty's and Shinra's, sticking to back alleys when he could and taking the lesser populated routes, even when they were longer.

Psyche didn't mind. He didn't get to go outside as much as regular kids, and was always enthralled by everything he saw. He blabbered to Izaya all the while, and the man replied with mundane 'is that so's' and 'I see's', because he wanted his son to know he was listening, even if he didn't exactly understand.

"Oh my God!" Shinra breathed, as he eyed the behemoth mound. "Izaya! You should have called Celty to help you!"

"It was fine." Izaya assured, gratefully stepping inside when Shinra moved.

"That independent streak again…" Shinra tutted. He led them (and the ridiculously laden stroller) inside of the apartment, and Psyche renewed his squirming, struggling to get down so he could crawl about and explore.

"Just a moment, baby." Izaya said, forcibly yanking the stroller. "We're almost…" He trailed off as he caught sight of the lounge room, which had been transformed into a baby-proof haven. Usually, Psyche was finding all kinds of dangerous instruments lying about when they visited, but today everything was clean, with all sharp and dangerous objects stowed away safely in locked drawers and cupboards.

But it wasn't only that which had rendered him speechless.

White and fuchsia streamers hung from the ceiling and over every surface, with a row of balloons hanging downwards from the roof, and a couple dotting the floor. A big, homemade banner read in clumsy black kanji 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY PSYCHE!', and to top it all off, a small inflatable slide and ball-pit were sitting in the middle of the living room, set-up and ready for Psyche to go crazy over.

Shinra had turned his life upside down with what he had done to him.

And right then, he couldn't be more thankful.

"Shinra," Izaya said, and the smile he directed at him was thankful and genuine. "This is amazing."

"Really?" Shinra asked eagerly. "I wanted to go with a bounce house but Celty said it wouldn't fit, so we got the slide and ball-pit instead. It's our present for Psyche."

"All of this is amazing." Izaya complimented. "Psyche is going to love it." True to his words, the baby, who had been reaching upwards in a doomed attempt to reach the balloons, went stock still when he saw the slide, pink eyes widening with a matching smile.

SNAP

Izaya blinked, retinas momentarily overwhelmed, and he saw that Shinra had procured a camera from his coat, and had snapped a photograph. "Documenting this momentous occasion!" He informed joyfully.

Izaya moved over to the slide and ball-pit, knowing that waiting any longer would only frustrate Psyche. He sat on the floor beside the small set-up, and pointed at the slide with a flourish. "What's that, Psyche-chan!?" He asked in an excited voice.

Psyche angled him a humorous look, as if to say you know what it is, Mommy.

Izaya placed him carefully atop the slide, resolving to teach him how to use the tiny stairs soon. "You ready to go down?"

Psyche glanced downwards, appearing afraid suddenly, and Izaya realised how very big this must seem to a one year old.

Still my baby.

He thought fondly.

"Do you want mommy to help you?" He questioned. Psyche kept staring down the slide dauntingly. "Let's do it!" He cheered, guiding his son swiftly but safely down to the ball pit below, where he gained more confidence and began kicking his legs, grinning. "YAY! Go Psyche-chan!" He blinked again when Shinra took another set of shots, but ignored the irritating actions and focused on his son.

He felt so damned happy. Happy to see his baby happy.

It's hard to believe that just twelve months ago I didn't have him in my life.

Psyche began crawling up the slide, and Izaya pulled him away gently. "No, darling. We go down the slide, not up. Mommy will show you." Patiently, Izaya showed the steps to Psyche, helping him to climb upwards slowly. This time, he went down unaided, and Izaya clapped for him. "Good job, Psyche-chan!" He watched a few more times, and once he was sure Psyche was occupied, he joined Shinra on the couch. "He loves it. Thanks again, Shinra."

"Anything for our little lovechild!" Shinra quipped. "Sooooo, about Shizuo-"

"Talking about it will just piss me off." Izaya interrupted curtly. "He's made it clear where his priorities lie."

"You know he's just doing what he thinks is best." Shinra reprimanded mildly. "He loves you and Psyche more than anything. But at the same time, he wants to repay Tom for being so considerate with his working hours over the last year. You can't blame him for that."

Shinra had been reasonable.

"I guess you're right." Izaya admitted grudgingly. "But if he isn't here on time, I'm going to flay him."

"Speaking about time, I'm sure Celty will be here with the cake soon." Shinra announced. "She's picking it up from a nice little bakery near Raira High."

"Is it-"

"It's pink and white and in the shape of a music note." Shinra interjected knowingly. "Does that suffice, Momzilla?"

Izaya turned a little pink himself. "That's fine." He was not a momzilla. He just wanted Psyche's first birthday to be memorable.

And it was. But for all the wrong reasons.

Psyche played very contently with the slide and ball-pit whilst Izaya unpacked all of the presents and loaded them on the dining table, Shinra cooked up some party snacks for the adults to eat (Izaya had already packed Psyche's age-appropriate dinner) and Celty returned with the cake, non-verbally cooing over Psyche and taking a few more photos. She also changed him, monopolising those shadows to do real dirty work.

Izaya was envious. He wished he had shadows to change dirty diapers with. He only had his own hands (which had come into contact with unspeakable evils ever since Psyche was born) and Shizuo (who was hopeless with diapers and even put one on Psyche backwards once)

Shizuo may have been a present figure in Psyche's life, but he often failed to do the small things Izaya did constantly. Not that it really mattered that much. He still contributed and that was better than nothing.

"Did you see Shizu-chan when you were out?" Izaya questioned the headless woman, noting the time on his phone. If Shizuo wasn't there soon, they would have to start without him, otherwise Psyche would get tired and cranky and his birthday experience wouldn't be enjoyable at all.

Celty tapped at her PDA with quick, practiced fingers. [No. I thought I might have, but he wasn't around.] She tensed at Izaya's venomous look. [I'm sure he's going to be here! He probably just got caught up!]

"I'm not waiting around all night with Psyche miserable just so he can waltz in late." Izaya told unwaveringly. "Ten minutes, and if he's not here, we're opening presents."

Izaya was true to his word. When Shizuo didn't arrive (and he felt horribly upset, although he didn't show it. This was about Psyche, after all) they commenced in opening the presents, Izaya assisting Psyche in tearing through the thin paper. He had purchased Psyche an admittedly overt amount of gifts, with his favourite being (predictably) the music orientated ones, which included a baby xylophone, a tiny wooden guitar, a tambourine, and a plastic microphone which came with an adjustable stand. He knew he was spoiling the boy, but he couldn't help it. Psyche was such a sweet, well-tempered baby, and as he never intended on having any more children, he thought indulging him was okay, as long as he made sure Psyche didn't grow up to be a brat. Which, obviously, he wouldn't, because his Psyche-chan was a little darling.

To their benefit, Celty and Shinra were remarkably understanding about the whole affair, being respectful to Izaya's wishes, and focusing their attention solely on Psyche and acting as if there was nothing wrong. No one missing. The little boy was the centre of attention, as he should be.

And Izaya "ooohhed" and "ahhhhed" and snuggled into the bemused baby that didn't quite properly grasp why all of this was happening (How could he when he just turned one? He wasn't a genius, although Izaya certainly thought he was an intelligent little boy)

Izaya unpacked a couple of presents that Psyche had taken a particular shining to, and the baby played with the toys and crawled about the floor, grasping at a balloon. He ate with Celty and Shinra, and fed Psyche his dinner in the highchair Shinra had purchased specifically for when he came to visit. The baby was a messy eater, but Izaya had long since stopped caring about being splattered with mashed vegetables. Sometimes Psyche did it purposefully, but Izaya never disciplined the little rascal. He was too cute when he got mischievous, he reminded him of himself, only Psyche held an innocence Izaya lacked.

Shizuo, of course, nearly always lost his temper, but he never raised a hand to the baby, merely berating him sternly. His strong voice alone usually got the waterworks going for Psyche, as Izaya hardly ever scolded him. Only when the baby endangered himself. Shizuo told him Psyche would grow up to be a cry-baby, but Izaya wasn't going to worry about that.

Oftentimes it seemed like Shizuo was the critical parent. The father who was too hard on his son, and at times he was, but that was only because (and Izaya would never admit it aloud, or acknowledge it fully to himself) Izaya was the figure who was too soft. He kissed and cuddled and coddled his son too much, pandering to his every need and fussing like a mother hen. Shizuo enforced the rules, gave Psyche boundaries, and would no doubt discipline their son when he got older (although Izaya didn't know how. Hopefully it wasn't some barbaric method) what one parent lacked, the other made up for, which was why Izaya thought they could continue functioning.

Thought. Unfortunately it didn't end up that way.

"Time to sing Happy Birthday!" Izaya decided after mopping up Psyche's messy face. "Then a bath and bedtime for you, sweetheart."

For the first time since Izaya had started the 'party', Shinra and Celty both hesitated.

Izaya knew why. Singing happy birthday and eating the cake signified the official end of the party, which meant Shizuo had missed all of it, making him totally unredeemable in Izaya's eyes. Izaya hadn't even had the chance to worry about the brute, too caught up in his infuriation about the man missing all of Psyche's birthday.

[We could wait a little longer.] Celty suggested. [I'm sure he'll be here soon.]

"I'm just astounded he's missing this." Shinra voiced. "I thought he'd be here long before now. Do you think he's caught up in something?"

[I really hope he's okay.] Celty was concerned. [He's been talking about Psyche's birthday all week whenever I saw him at work. He seemed really excited.]

But Izaya didn't soften. Psyche should always be the priority, and he doubted Shizuo was hurt or unwell. The brute probably just got caught up in something and was too noble or angry to walk away. That was all that was preventing him from being here.

Psyche gave an indicating yawn, and Izaya strode into the kitchen purposefully, removing the cake from its box and placing it on a nice plate. Shinra and Celty had chosen the right bakery. The cake was absolutely perfect, the icing and shape flawless.

He placed the plate on the table, and took Psyche from his highchair to be closer to the cake. The baby was instantly attracted to the bright colours (his favourite ones to boot) and tried to get at it with curious hands.

Shinra and Celty gracefully conceded defeat, and the glasses-wearing doctor fetched a sole candle in the shape of an English 1, sinking it deeply into the cake.

Celty returned from rifling in a high cabinet with a box of matches, and she lit up the candle.

The flame reflected in Psyche's pinkish eyes, and Izaya nodded, an indication to begin singing, or, in the case of Celty, clapping her hands in tandem.

Psyche, much to Izaya's adoration, copied the Dullahan, enjoying the singing.

Izaya was just singing the last few words when he caught a glimpse of familiar blonde hair out of the corner of his eye, and looked up to see Shizuo, unharmed as he had expected. Celty had left the door unlocked so he could let himself in, and he must have snuck inside whilst the apartment was filled with noise.

Izaya caught his eye very deliberately, narrowing his own orbs in a clear display of displeasure, before finishing off the song and encouraging Psyche to blow out the candle. Unsurprisingly, the baby didn't quite understand, and Izaya ended up blowing it out for him, inciting dismay in Psyche, who had wanted to play with the flickering flame.

Celty summoned her shadows, fashioning a sharp blade, but Shinra shook his head wildly. "No Celty! I'll just grab a regular kitchen knife!" He bustled into the kitchen, wisely refraining from commenting on Shizuo's new arrival.

Celty though, was too worried to ignore him. She typed frantically. [Are you okay?]

"I'm fine." Shizuo reassured quickly. "I just got caught up with something. Work related." He added, as if Izaya thought that was a feasible excuse. "I had to leave late." He looked directly at Izaya here, face soft. "I'm sorry I missed everything."

Upon hearing Shizuo's voice, Psyche looked away from the pretty cake. "Dada!" He cried happily. He looked to Izaya, then back to Shizuo."Dada." He repeated.

"Yes, Daddy…" Izaya drawled, with a sneer on his face. "It seems Daddy thought work was more important than celebrating his son's special day."

Predictably, this angered Shizuo immediately. "I said I was sorry!" He got out from gritted teeth. Izaya often wondered if they were as strong as the rest of his body, since they could withstand such clenching of his jaw.

"What was honestly so important?" Izaya cocked a hip, bouncing the baby up and down to keep him occupied whilst they argued.

"I had to rough up a few guys!" Shizuo defended. "But then it turned into a whole syndicate and Tom had difficulty getting the payment, so we had to track each of them down in Ikebukuro, and some of the bastards were hiding!"

"You missed our son's birthday." Izaya said, in a controlled voice filled with cold fury. "To play hide and seek?"

Shizuo scoffed. "You know it isn't like that. I would have given everything to be here!"

"You could have continued your job tomorrow." Izaya snapped, and Psyche's lip began to wobble at the ice in his tone. "I'm not angry at you, Psyche-chan," He said gently. "Mommy will give you some cake."

Celty had quietly but competently put servings of the cake on plates whilst the two had been arguing. Shinra had left the room altogether, no doubt feeling like he was intruding.

This irked Izaya. Here Shinra and Celty were, hosting a fantastic party for Psyche, and he and Shizuo were making them feel uncomfortable in their own home.

"We will finish this discussion at home." Izaya informed Shizuo sharply. "For now, just don't talk to me. I can't even stand to look at your face right now." Harsh? Yes. But he had felt that way at the time.

Izaya forcefully turned away from the other man, picking up the colourful, plastic plate which was clearly meant for Psyche. The portion was a healthy size, and Izaya sat down with the baby in his lap, allowing him to messily munch on the cake with his hands. He could have put him in the highchair, but he needed Psyche's comforting presence right now. That, and he was feeling rather protective.

He heard Shizuo give a growl, and stomp into the hall to compose himself. Celty followed after him, probably to offer calming words and support.

Shinra emerged from wherever he was hiding a minute or so later, looking weary. "Don't you think you're being a little harsh on him?" He asked, withstanding Izaya's frigid glare without becoming frozen. "It sounds like he had no choice but to help Tom. You know he loves the both of you, so why hold a grudge? He would have been here if he could."

"He could have been here if he actually put his family first for once." Izaya persisted stubbornly. "That anger and righteousness gets the better of him, and he feels the need to play hero. The only hero he should be playing for is Psyche." Izaya had sacrificed his job (although he had actually started taking small ones again recently) and entire life for the baby, and it seemed unfair that Shizuo, who had played a vital role in Psyche's creation, go on with his life mostly unchanged despite this whole baby business. Sometimes he felt that Shizuo wasn't taking fatherhood seriously enough, and he believed Shizuo had proved that insecure thought true tonight.

"Izaya…" Shinra started, but then seemed to think better of protesting. "Would you like a cup of coffee or tea? We don't want you getting dehydrated on the way home."

"Yes thank you." Izaya said in a short, courteous voice. "I'll have green tea." He preferred coffee, but green tea always helped calm him down…

Shinra hastened into the kitchen, and Izaya watched as Psyche played with his food, licking at the icing and squashing the vanilla cake underneath. He narrowed his eyes when Shizuo sat down opposite of the baby, clearly having appeased his temper.

"Hey buddy…" He said in a soft rumble.

Psyche looked up, and smiled, face covered in pink. "Dada!"

"Daddy's very sorry he couldn't be here for your birthday." Shizuo apologised, and Izaya huffed, making sure the brute understood what he personally thought. "Did you open presents?"

Psyche cooed.

"Psyche-chan did open his presents." Izaya said, but he couldn't quite manage the perky tone he usually used when communicating with the pair. "Didn't you, baby?"

"He loved the music orientated ones." Shinra told, setting a cup of tea before Izaya. He pulled a plate of cake before himself, and spooned up a mouthful.

"He also liked the slide and ball-pit." Izaya said. "Uncle Shinra and Auntie Celty got them for him. You went down the slide, didn't you, Psyche-chan?"

"I wish I didn't miss it." Shizuo murmured.

"Try the cake." Shinra recommended. "It's very sweet. You'll love it."

There was nothing sweet about this situation to Izaya though. In fact it was overwhelmingly bitter, and by the time Celty and Shinra were waving them off, Izaya had lapsed into a seething silence, only speaking to the brute on the behalf of Psyche.

The brute pushed the stroller home, and Izaya cradled Psyche, whose eyes had started becoming heavy. When they were back in the apartment, Izaya was quick to give Psyche his bath, soothing him to sleep thereafter with a lullaby. As usual, whenever he tried to put the baby down in the crib, he stirred with a whine, grasping for his 'mother'.

Shizuo put away all of the gifts in the appropriate places, grumbling about the excessive amount Izaya had insisted upon, and when Izaya was in the kitchen, rinsing out the containers that had held Psyche's dinner one-handedly, Shizuo made an impatient noise in the back of his throat. "Are you gonna yell at me now, or what?" He looked to Izaya expectantly. "Let me hear it. I've been waiting ever since I got back from work."

"I'm not going to yell." Izaya shot down, dignified. "That will wake Psyche-chan and then I won't be able to get him back to sleep."

"He's not a newborn anymore." Shizuo pointed out grouchily. "He needs to learn to go to sleep without you holding him. What's it called again? Self, self..."

"Self-settling." Izaya educated. "And Psyche will be fine. He's just not ready yet-"

"You're not ready yet." Shizuo corrected flatly. "You can't keep babying him forever."

"He's not even a toddler yet, you heartless beast!" Izaya snapped. "Don't criticise the way I parent my child when you can't even attend his birthday party!"

And Shizuo felt horribly guilty. Lower than scum, and he was frustrated that Izaya kept trying to make him feel worse. Vilify him further when all he wanted to do was make up. This frustration made him lash out, one of the biggest mistakes of his life. "It's not like he'll remember it anyway!" He snarled his reply. "He's only fucking one, Izaya!"

"Keep your voice down!" Izaya hissed. "You'll wake him up!"

But Shizuo had been too enraged to care. He'd been trying his best to be a good father, trying his best to be a good partner for Izaya, and he loved them so much, but god, did he-

"Hate you!" Shizuo said in a raised voice. "I fucking hate your guts, you damn flea! I wish I never had to deal with you and your shit!"

Izaya had crackled with electricity. "Are you calling Psyche shit!?"

"I'm saying he's exactly like you." Shizuo spat, regretting every word that came out of his mouth, but helpless to stop the furious rush. "He looks exactly like you, he acts like some warped version of you, and he's done nothing but make my life miserable! So yeah, he'sexactly fucking like you, just a miniature flea!"

Izaya's burgundy eyes had widened in utter shock. He knew Shizuo was angry, but to say something so horrible about Psyche, an innocent child who shouldn't be blamed for Izaya's actions…

He forced down the potent hurt, and replaced it with unyielding resolution.

"If that's how you really feel." Izaya's voice had wavered slightly. "Then leave." He dropped the soaked washcloth into the sink and adjusted his hold on Psyche, so he didn't have to look Shizuo in the face. "I don't want Psyche to grow up being hated just because he reminds you of me."

"FINE!" Shizuo bellowed, making Psyche wake up with a start. "You can fuck off with that little bastard for all I care!" Then he turned on his heel, storming out of the apartment and slamming the door behind him, feeling wretched all the while.

Izaya trembled when he was gone, but forced himself into composure, rocking the baby that had begun bawling at the loud noise.

If he's going to be like that…I can't stay with him.

It had been fun while it lasted.

Encouraged by Shizuo's words, Izaya shakily pulled out his cell phone, flipping it open and dialling a familiar number. It was answered on the third ring. "Hello there, Mr Shiki. About that job opportunity you told me about…"

He needed to get away. He needed to start a new life somewhere. A place where no one knew him, where no one could hurt Psyche to get to him, a new place where he was just a regular single-parent doing his best to give his son the best life possible.

He loved Tokyo. But he needed to do this for his son's benefit.

When Shizuo came back a few days later, ready to grovel on his stomach for forgiveness, any trace of Izaya and Psyche had been erased. The two had simply disappeared. The apartment packed up, all of Psyche's toys gone, and the only piece of furniture that remained was the couch. There was no note (Izaya was smarter than that). No indication as to where they had gone, and no method of communication. All of the cell phones Shizuo knew Izaya had were shut down, and Namie Yagiri had seemingly vanished.

Shinra and Celty, whose home he had been crashing in, had not been contacted, and they were understandably shattered to hear Izaya had upped and left without a single word.

They searched for months, but even through their respective channels they found nothing. The best Shinra had found was that Namie Yagiri had boarded a plane to Hawaii, but that had served as nothing but a red herring, likely devised by Izaya to keep them off his real trail. Celty heard from a high-schooler that Izaya had entered a place known to be popular with the Awakusu the day after Psyche's birthday, and that led Shizuo to realise the other male had likely been speaking with Shiki, who Shizuo had come to know was his most common client. But tracking down Shiki had been impossible, even after speaking with other members of the Awakusu, as he had seemingly departed with Izaya and another executive without a word to anyone else.

It made Shizuo feel the severest form of dread. What if Izaya was getting himself into something dangerous, just so he could get away from Shizuo? If he or Psyche got hurt, he would never be able to forgive himself…

He didn't have the money to go traversing the world for Izaya, as much as he would have liked to. Nor did he speak a word of another language to properly communicate.

So he kept on living, alone in a cramped new apartment, without the sound of Izaya singing and Psyche's adoring coos and giggles. He lurched into a self-loathing depression, and he would have given anythingto see them again. Psyche would probably be toddling around now, speaking more words, did he even remember Daddy anymore? He hated himself for what he had done.

Celty had been a godsend. She comforted him during these times, patting his shoulder and sitting with him whenever he was lonely. Shinra was good as well, but his overly cheerful disposition was often too much for him at times. They told him he shouldn't shoulder all of the blame himself, and that Izaya had done the wrong thing by disappearing the way he did. But they didn't see, the way Izaya had reacted when Shizuo had said such awful things about their son, it had been devastating.

Heat of the moment or not, it was inexcusable.

Then, a few months later, a postcard came. It was stuck underneath his door, and when he picked it up with a muted sense of curiosity, he saw a picture of the Eiffel Tower gleaming on the front, and when he flipped to the back, he saw Izaya's perfect handwriting. It was a short, concise message, with cold wording.

Shizuo,

It read.

Your bastard child and unwanted baby mama are doing fine. If you care.

And he wasn't annoyed. He was remarkably relieved. Izaya was still angry at him, but he had the decency to let Shizuo know they were both safe.

It was more than he deserved.

Shizuo wanted to write back, to send a dozen pages of apologises and questions and pleading, but there was no return address, and even though that postcard was from France, Shizuo knew better than to think Izaya was still there. If he ever was, at all. It would be just like the crafty informant to send a postcard from a place he'd never even visited before.

That, or he'd already been and was sending the postcard delayed. And really thinking about it, who had put that postcard under the door? How did Izaya know where he was living?

He wasn't even in Tokyo, yet he still seemed to know everything.

It turned out Celty and Shinra had received the exact same postcard, but with a more hospitable message.

To Uncle Shinra and Aunty Celty

Psyche-chan loves and misses you very much.

Don't worry about us. We're fine. There's no need to come searching. We're happy and we're safe.

Regards,

Psyche-chan and Izaya Orihara

When Shizuo had read that message, he had heaved a momentous sigh of relief. They were happy. He hated the thought of the pair being miserable as they trekked the world to avoid him. But….

Jealousy. Envy. They swam in his system toxically. His baby and his boyfriend (He still refused to categorise Izaya as an ex. They were going to get back together when he manned up and returned home) were off experiencing fantastical new things, and he was stuck here, feeling their absence in a biting sting that never faded and with a heavy ache in his heart.

"We can try." Shinra had offered to Shizuo, serious for once. "If I know Izaya, he wouldn't have been able to avoid the glamour of Paris. I doubt he's still there, but if we go, we might be able to find some trace of him. A clue to as where he went next."

[We can pay for you, Shizuo.] Celty supported. [We honestly don't mind.]

And it was tempting. But although Shinra knew Izaya, Shizuo had come to understand him more in their time together. "If he doesn't want to be found, he isn't going to be." Admitting it was hard, but he kept going. "He's good at running, and if he's still with those two Awakusu, they're helping him remain hidden."

"We can still try-"

"I DON'T WANT TO TRY ANYMORE!" Shizuo shouted, thoroughly fed-up, and his eyes were feeling uncomfortably wet. "There's no goddamned point. He's not coming back, and I can't find him. You both know it's true, so please…"

Celty wrapped a companionable arm around his shoulder, and Shinra's glasses suddenly seemed a little foggy.

Celty tapped at her PDA slowly, clearly contemplating her response. [I just don't want you to give up, Shizuo. I understand if you don't want to look for them, but don't you ever give up on Psyche or Izaya.]

Shizuo took a ragged breath. "I know…" He said. "I know."

He kept living. Years passed, and he brought a nicer apartment. One big enough to comfortably host a child, and a beautiful window that overlooked the world below for a certain raven haired man. He got a postcard every couple of months, and tacked them onto the refrigerator, to gaze at hopefully every morning when he gulped down his milk.

Ikebukuro went on without Izaya. Kids concluded high school and went on to university, and The Dollars kept up their wacky antics. Shizuo had to threaten less and less people for Tom, and soon he was receiving a higher paycheck and getting much more time off. It would have been perfect for raising Psyche. But he wasn't here. And either was his mother.

Psyche would be four now. His birthday coming not that long ago. Shizuo didn't even know what he looked like, but if he hadn't changed much from his infancy, he would be just like his mother.

It used to irk him that Psyche inherited so much from Izaya, but now he realised it shouldn't matter. Why should it matter if his child inherited traits from the man Shizuo loved most in the world? That should only serve to make Shizuo love the both of them even more.

It had been so hard. But things were bound to get better, right? One day Izaya would come home, and they would be a family again. Shizuo would make sure of it. He would do anything to make it happen.

Notes:

Hello again! I intend to continue this, but would appreciate some feedback to appease my interest. I never thought I'd write something of this nature. That said, no pressure. I hope someone happened to like this. Have a nice day/night.