Chapter six – Get some thinking done Hermione

After Harry left her standing there petrified, almost like she was in her second year after the encounter with Basilisk, she promised herself to be more careful around Ginny. It also got her thinking about her feelings in general…what was she feeling? And even more pressing thought was if what she was feeling was right, because she was now starting to be positive that she might like Ginny more than just a friend. But was it right? Hermione liked to depend on logic and sadly there was no logic in this, because logically, if she would follow stereotypes she was supposed to like boys. Problem was that she didn't really like boys…yes, for a while she taught she liked Ron, but then again, he was so different from her and they didn't anything in common except their friendship with Harry and well…Ginny. There she was again, always in Hermione's thoughts, never leaving her, not even when Hermione was studying – Ginny was always there, in the corner of Hermione's mind. This all was so illogical for Hermione that her head started to hurt a little from all of the thinking and it made her kind of sad. But as she was coming close to the Gryffindor common room, she put a brave face on, like nothing was wrong, told the password to the Fat Lady and climbed through the portrait hole into the common room. The room was half empty that night so she couldn't pretend she didn't see her friends sitting in their favourite seats by the fire. She internally sighed and went to join them even though she would rather be alone in her dorm room. When she reached them and took her usual seat, Ginny smiled at her warmly and Hermione's heart automatically skipped a beat. She internally scolded herself and hoped that her face didn't show any of her feelings. She was well aware that Harry was watching her like and eagle and trying to observe her every move. That's why she returned the smile faintly and turned her head away from Ginny as soon as possible and fixed her gaze to the fire happily burning in the fireplace. She was staring into the fireplace so lost in her thought that she didn't even realize that Ron was talking to her, so when he nudged her into her shoulder she was pretty startled but recovered quite quickly saying "What did you say Ron? I was thinking about the essay we have to write for McGonagall." After she said that she saw that Harry clearly didn't buy any of it. "Fuck, why he has to be so observant?" She thought and just a second after that she thought "Wait a minute, I am even not sure there is anything to observe so why am I panicking…but did I just curse in my head? This scared Hermione slightly and she knew that she has to spend more time pondering about this, but she also knew that she couldn't do that when Harry was around watching her so closely. So she decided to press those difficult thoughts to the back of her head for now and concentrate on what Ron was telling her about upcoming Hogsmeade weekend.

She spent the rest of the evening ignoring her confusing thoughts and talking to Ron and Harry quite pleasantly and trying to avoid any contact with Ginny except from polite response when she asked her something.

Hermione couldn't sleep that night. Thoughts of confusion about Ginny were mixed with thoughts concerning school and her brain just wouldn't turn off. When she finally fell asleep she had a dream in which she was in the library reading a book about logic in connection to love and when she looked up from the book she saw Ginny's deep hazel eyes watching her, her stunning freckled face with a sweet smile on it. The dream was so vivid that when Hermione woke up, too early in the morning, she felt so happy for a moment but the she realized what it might mean and that sank her mood immediately. She knew that she wouldn't be able to fall asleep again at this point so she dragged herself from her four poster bed and slowly headed to the bathroom. After she took a shower and brushed her teeth she grabbed one of her favourite books and went to now empty and quiet common room. She curled into the armchair by the fire and started to reading a book she read what felt like billion times but she still loved every page of it. It was her old copy of Pride and Prejudice and even though she wasn't romantic per se she liked this book very much and sometimes wished she could find a true love like Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy did in the book. After a while of reading Hermione got so immersed in the book that she didn't even hear somebody going down the stairs from the dormitories and nearly screamed when a hand touched her shoulder lightly. She looked up, completely startled, and saw Ginny's concerned look. "Sorry, Hermione, I didn't mean to scare you. What are you doing up so early?" Ginny said.

"Oh, it's ok. I just didn't hear you coming that's all. Well, I couldn't sleep…but wait a minute…how come you are up? It's unusually early for you, I know the you like to sleep late."

"I woke up earlier so I could go through some new strategies for upcoming quidditch game and maybe to catch up with my homework." Ginny said, but the hesitation at the beginning was quite obvious so Hermione wasn't sure that what Ginny said is true.

"What are you reading 'Mione?" Ginny asked rather curiously.

Hermione deep down loved the way Ginny called her. She hoped that it wasn't just because Ginny was lazy to pronounce her whole name, but she knew that reality was probably just it.

"I'm reading Pride and Prejudice, it's actually one of my favourite books. Have you ever heard of it?" Hermione asked

"No, but I've seen you read it several times already, so I'm wondering what do you like about it so much…?" Ginny asked and it looked like she really wanted to know unlike Harry and Ron.

"Well, it's a romantic story form old England where two sisters find true love after they have to defeat some obstacles first. It's a classic in a Muggle world. And I'm not really sure what I like about it so much…it just gets me every time I read it, the way they talk and the way feelings of the main protagonist, Elizabeth, are described in the book, I think that's what I like about it…and well, the happy ending of course." Hermione blushed slightly.

"That sounds really nice." Ginny said sincerely "Can I borrow it after you're done?"

"You want to read it?" Hermione asked staring at her in disbelieve.

"Of course, Why wouldn't I? My best friend likes it so I want to try it, is it so weird?" Ginny stated.

"No, Of course it isn't. I'll be happy to lend it to you, Gin." Hermione said steadily.

While they were talking Ginny sat down to the armchair next to Hermione's and made herself comfortable.

"Didn't you say that you were going to do some quidditch stuff or something?" Hermione asked.

Ginny turned red and looked away while she said something Hermione couldn't hear.

"Ginny? Did you have a nightmare?" Hermione asked softly.

Ginny was looking into the flames which were dancing in the fireplace when she said: "yes."

"That's nothing you have to be embarrassed about. Do you want to tell me what was the nightmare about?" Hermione asked carefully.

"It's ok Hermione, don't worry about me." Ginny said trying to sound tough but failing.

"You should go back to bed, it's still really early, Gin." Hermione said softly.

"No, I don't think I would be able to sleep and I like to be in your company. You know, even when you are reading and not paying attention to me I still feel little bit better than when I was alone in my bed" Ginny admitted.

Hermione was so surprised to hear that, that she just smiled at Ginny and then hurriedly returned to her book. Problem was that now when Ginny was so close and said all those nice things, Hermione wasn't able to concentrate. All kinds of thoughts swirled through her brain, one of them being that those things Ginny said might as well mean that Ginny could like her more than a friend…Hermione killed this thought before it could fully form in her brain. No it was not possible. Ginny is into boys, that's crystal clear. And if she knew how Hermione felt about her she would be disgusted, that Hermione knew for sure. Wait…what exactly was that Hermione felt? She still wasn't sure about that. She shook her head to get rid of those stupid thoughts.

"Are you alright 'Mione?" Ginny asked her. Obviously she was watching her the whole time.

"What? Oh, yeah. You know what? I have an idea. We can go to the sofa over there. I can read there and you can lie down and try to get some more sleep. Since you are not going to be alone I think it should work. Don't worry I'm not going to leave you." Hermione said it before she could think about it properly and now she was kind of regretting it, because it meant that she would be close to Ginny for several more hours and she wasn't sure she could handle it.

Ginny looked at her hesitantly but then smiled warmly and said: "That's actually pretty good idea 'Mione, thank you."

They went over to the sofa and Hermione sat at one end expecting Ginny to curl up at the other end but Ginny snuggled to Hermione's side and then laid down, resting her head on Hermione's lap.

Hermione felt sudden fluttery feeling in her stomach which made her smile. She felt little uncomfortable that she was enjoying Ginny being so close to her but she tried to persuade herself that Ginny needs this, so she shut her brain off, caressed Ginny's hair lightly and returned to her book, feeling really content for the first time after a long time.