Sorry for the wait, been hectic busy at work with an event I was organizing and running but it's finished now so updates should be more frequent.

Last chapter – Dimitri was heading to Rose after Eddie and Christian told him she was planning on going back to the caves.

Song for Chapter 31 – One step closer by Linkin Park

I cannot take this anymore
Saying everything I've said before
All these words they make no sense
I find bliss in ignorance
Less I hear the less you'll say
You'll find that out anyway

Just like before...

Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to breathe
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
I'm about to break

R POV

I don't allow myself to wallow in my self-pity too long before the irrational anger returns full force.

I wipe crossly at the tears blurring my vision before I unzip my gym bag and dig to the bottom. As my fingers find what I'm looking for they curl instinctively around the cool spirit infused steel and my body starts humming in anticipation at killing the fuckers that caused Mason's demise.

I take my hoodie out of the bag and pull it over my head, hiding my weapon in the pocket before tying my hair back.

My thoughts flicker briefly to Eddie and Christian and my anger surges again. How can they not want to avenge Mason? How can they not see that this is the right thing to do?

I shake my head, clearing them from my mind. I need to focus. Focus. After staring at the invisible boundary for a few seconds, I take a deep breath and step forward...only to be yanked back against a chest I know damn well.

I spin and shove away from him.

"Rose, what are you doing?" he asks cautiously.

"What are you doing here? How did you know where to find me?" I ask, my body trembling and ready to get back to the task at hand.

"I'm on patrol," he says as he takes a step closer to me, but I step back and he stops his advance.

"Well, this is actually working out in a good way," I muse as I glance back to the wards, reworking my plan in my head. Yes, this is actually perfect. I look back at him expectantly. "The two of us can take care of this much quicker than if I were alone. You up for a little challenge?"

"What exactly is it you're planning on doing, Rose?" he asks and I don't miss the slight edge to his oh so heavenly gruff voice.

"I'm going back, Dimitri. To finish what we started. I can't...knowing there are still Strigoi up there...I can't do nothing."

"I can't let you do that," he says, his voice now eerily calm. Like the eye of a storm.

"It's not your choice to make," I retort. "Fuck, why can't anyone just support me for once? Is that too much to ask?"

His eyes flash anger and before I comprehend he's right in front of me, the warmth of his godly body radiating against mine.

"Don't try and guilt trip me, Rose. You know damn well I'd do anything for you, but this is insane and against every single fucking rule of the Academy. As a Guardian, I cannot allow this."

I laugh at him sarcastically. I try with every single ounce of self-preservation to curb the burning rage inside of me, but it's no use...it's taken over.

I am no longer its master, I am its slave.

Don't! Don't say it, Rose. Please, oh God, please don't say it.

"Yeah, well, as a Guardian you shouldn't be fucking a student either."

Cold heartless bitch, that's what you are.

He takes a step back from me, visibly recoils as if I've slapped him. The look of utter shock on his face makes my chest ache.

Take it back! Please, take it back before it's too late!

"Dimitri...I..."

Approaching footsteps cut my apology short and Dimitri turns to the source just as Eddie and Christian round the corner.

"Thank God," Eddie says when he sees me. "You're still here."

I frown at him and Christian as my brain slowly but surely connect the dots.

My plea for Dimitri's forgiveness is instantly forgotten as the demon rears its ugly head inside my chest again.

I look back at Dimitri. "You lied to me," I say softly as I move further away from him. "You weren't on patrol. You were guarding Lissa tonight."

No one says anything. Deathly silence surrounds us as they watch my every move, my every expression.

I fix Eddie in my glare. "You...you rat me out." It's not a question. It's a statement and I don't need a verbal confirmation; the guilt on his face tells me everything I need to know. "I can't believe you would do that to me."

Hurt mingles with annoyance in my voice and I can't do anything else right now but stare at him as his betrayal scratches at my heart.

"Rose, it's not like that..."

Wrong words.

"That's exactly what it is!" I hiss as I step closer to him. "I trusted you, Eddie. I thought you were my friend."

His own anger surfaces then at my words and then its him stepping closer to me.

"It's because I'm your friend that I couldn't keep quiet," he seethes. "Did you expect me to just let you run off and get yourself killed?"

"I expected you to come with me!" I shout as I shove him hard enough to move him two steps back.

I see Dimitri closing in on me from the side but before I can turn my attention to him, Eddie speaks up.

"Stay out of this, Belikov. This is between me and Rose. Just two old friends having a tiff," he says all cocky as he steps closer again.

"You want to end up like Mason?" he asks as he stares at me.

"Don't you fucking dare say his name," I say as we start circling each other like we do when we're sparring. "You don't get to talk about him if you can't even see that we have to finish this for him."

"Oh, Rose," he chuckles darkly and I want to plant my fist in his face so badly my hands are itching. "Do you think this is what Mason would have wanted? Because if you truly believe that, then you didn't know him at all."

That's it. That's all I needed to feel the ire snap inside. It's no longer on a leash, its running wild. I attack him without hesitation. This is not sparring. I don't want to play with Eddie, I want to hurt him.

He blocks three of my advances before I get a shot into his side and he grunts as he shoves me back hard enough to stumble.

"Is this what you want? To fight me? I'm not the enemy here, Rose."

He doesn't wait for me this time. Instead, he attacks and I'm totally caught off guard because I was certain he was just deflecting. It never crossed my mind that he would attack me. He rams his full body weight into me and I sprawl backwards, the breath knocked from my lungs as I hit the ground. Before I know it he's straddling me, his hands bound around my wrists that he holds above my head. I struggle in vain and a slight panic tears at the anger I can't get a grip on.

"Or maybe you want to go up there and end up like Mason?"

I struggle again at his words and I'm pissed as hell when I feel tears prick behind my eyelids. "Fuck you, Eddie," I pant as I try to catch my breath under his weight.

"You wanna turn Strigoi too?"

"Eddie, that's enough, man," I hear Christian warn but Eddie doesn't relent and he doesn't break eye contact with me.

"No, Christian, she needs to hear this. Answer me, Rose," he says heatedly as he looms over me. "Is that what you want? Do you want to put us in the same situation you were when you had no choice but to kill Mason?"

I feel the anger seep from my pores into the ground underneath my aching body as my chest constricts with unbridled agony as his words chip away at my heart. I turn my head to the side as the first tears roll down my cheeks. But he's not finished. I feel him grip both my wrists in his one hand and then he's gripping my chin, forcing me to look at him as my insides start to crumble.

"You know if you go up there that's a possibility. Look at yourself. You're barely holding on because of what happened. Even when you're smiling I see the guilt in your eyes. It's eating you alive, Rose. You're slipping away before our very eyes and there's nothing we can do to stop it. Do you know how that fucking feels? Is that what you want for me? For Dimitri? Can you imagine what it would do to him if he had to be the one to kill you?"

A sob escapes me before I can rein it in. Because he's right. He's do damn right. I know exactly what it would do to Dimitri because I know what it would do to me. I can't live without him; and he can't live without me.

Eddie's glare softens to the one I love as the anger ebbs from his handsome face.

"Don't push us away, Rose," he whispers hoarsely, his voice filled with sadness for me. "Mason is gone. Forever. I'm begging you, as a friend and as someone who loves you so very much, please don't cause us to lose you too."

His urgent plea coupled with the fearful and pain filled look in his eye pushes me over the edge and I start crying uncontrollably. He immediately lets go of my chin and pulls me up and against him as he sits back. His arms wraps around me as I drop my head to his chest and I let the tears flow, my sobs embarrassingly loud as it disturbs the silence of the darkness that surrounds us.

"I can't...I...I miss him...so much," I gasp against him as I try to take deep breaths to calm the desolation of Mason's absence.

His hold on me tightens at my words. "I know...I know," he soothes. "I miss him too."

And I know if anyone misses Mason as much as me, it's Eddie. They were best friends. He knows about that void inside of me because he carries its emptiness too.

I manage to get my emotions under control then and Eddie lets me go when I push against him slightly. I get up and turn my back on them as I wipe my face with the sleeves of my hoodie. I wrap my arms around my waist as I stare out into the darkness beyond the wards, contemplating Eddie's words.

"I'm going to head back and let Lissa know Rose is safe," Christian says behind me after a while.

"Yeah, I'll go with you," Eddie says in a tired voice.

I hear them leave and suddenly I'm acutely aware of Dimitri's presence. I'm too ashamed to look at him, my earlier words echoing in my head.

But he surprises me when he steps up behind me and turns me to face him. His left arm curls around my waist as he pulls me flush against him, his right hand gently cupping my face.

"You okay?" he asks softly, his accent caressing my skin and filling my senses.

"Dimitri. What I said earlier...you know I didn't mean it," I say as I look up at him. "Please tell me you know I didn't mean it." My voice is desperate and fragile.

"I know," he lulls. "Don't think about that now."

"I can't lose you," I whisper. "I don't know what's wrong with me. This anger, it's scaring me," I admit and I know he sees the panic in my eyes at my confession. "It's like it takes over and no matter how hard I try, I can't get a grip on it."

I can hear the panic rise as I speak, I can feel it trying to push me under. Dimitri must see it too because suddenly his mouth is on mine, hot and needy and filled with love and fear and godliness. I melt against him as his tongue slides against mine languidly, erasing every single emotion inside of me until there is nothing left but the bursting at the seams love I feel for him.

When he ends the kiss he leans his forehead against mine, our eyes locked and our bodies melded.

"We'll figure this out together, Roza," he breathes and as I keep his gaze I know he means it. "I'm not going anywhere. You…me…us…this right here…this is our strength."

And in that moment, in the belief he has in the words he speaks, I regain some of my faith that everything will be okay.

So…how was Eddie? So love him right now!

Let me know.

xo