xxii.

May rolls by and then one morning Karin wakes up with a start and realizes that she's eighteen.

"Happy birthday me," Karin murmurs quietly, staring at the ceiling before rolling to her side — and it's all too easy to imagine her twin besides her. "Us."

She's gotten used to waking up alone, but today is different.

Today, Karin cannot escape that ache of sadness. The feeling had dulled as Karin accustomed herself to life in Rukongai, though there were still some days where it rang stronger than others, but this is the one day that Karin cannot ignore the fact that Yuzu remains in the world of the living, while she does not.

A typical birthday of theirs began by Yuzu being the first to wake, always excited to celebrate and enjoy the day as much as she could, while Karin, being lazier about these kinds of things, namely, waking up, preferred to sleep for a few minutes more.

Karin's desire to sleep, sadly, was no match to Yuzu's persistence.

(Also her use of puppy eyes. Karin didn't even have to see them, but the power of Yuzu's puppy eyes alone was truly incredible. Yuzu might not have much spiritual power in comparison to her siblings, but she had the strongest puppy eyes that Karin had ever known.)

Yuzu's not here, however.

Karin knows that there's a red phone in her drawer, and by some miracle it's not ringing, but —

… wait.

Yuzu's not here.

And just like that, her sadness morphs into something similar to satisfaction.

(Just a little bit.)

Karin's still thinking with dozy thoughts and the inviting embrace of soft sheets that entice her to close her eyes once again and sleep some more.

She's the birthday girl. She can do whatever she wants.

Ah, to hell with it, Karin decides, drowsily, and dives headfirst into dreaming.

Birthday girl wants to sleep some more? Birthday girl gets to sleep some more.

"I knew it! I knew it! I just knew this would happen!"

"Shh," Karin mumbles, trying to furrow deep into comfort of her duvet. And to think, she had been enjoying a perfectly lovely lie-in. "Sleeping."

All in all, it's a very nice start to the day.

A foot stomp.

"Ka! Rin! Chan!"

"Who's Karin-chan?" Karin asks, burying herself deeper so that her words come out as an incomprehensible mess as she trembles delicately between slumber and consciousness. After all, she must be dreaming if she's hearing that voice. "Not me."

"You always do this!" Karin can hear the pout — never mind the blatantly apparent whine in her voice — seconds before a truly monstrous act occurs.

Suddenly, cruelly, and completely uncalled for, her duvet is snatched! No, ripped! No, kidnapped!

Yes.

Kidnapped!

Somebody horrendous kidnaps Karin's duvet from her unsuspecting grasp, and the rush of cold air is a heinous wake up call.

"Oh, come on!" Karin shrieks, wide awake and unforgiving because for the first time in forever she gets to wake up late. "It's my birthday! Don't I deserve — Y-Yuzu?"

Her mouth falls open, words crashing into silence and instantly forgotten.

"Finally!" Yuzu says, a twinkle in her eyes, the duvet in her hands. "I was beginning to think that you'd never wake up."

"Well, I am dead," Karin points out, brain not quite catching up with being awake just yet.

"Karin-chan!"

Yuzu lets go of the duvet in shock, and Karin watches with mournful eyes as it becomes comfortable with the floor.

Karin's eyes flick back up to meet Yuzu's gaze.

She's only a little bit regretful of what she said, but crankiness, unfortunately, wins out.

"Couldn't resist, sorry," Karin quips dryly, flashing a smirk, much to Yuzu's annoyance. Suddenly more awake, Karin's crankiness is quick to change into something a lot more cheerful, and so she opens her arms wide. "Happy birthday, Yu-chan!"

Yuzu practically launches herself into Karin's embrace, clinging tight.

"Happy birthday, Karin-chan!" Yuzu says, bright and joyful, and this is the Yuzu that Karin remembers that starts their day with the most jubilant smile ever. She draws back, clearly already planned their schedule for the day, and calculating the setback that is Karin's laziness with how much time they have left. "Now let's go! Breakfast time!"

"Really?" Karin groans, whining only a little bit. "I can't have five more minutes?"

"Nope!" Yuzu shakes her head and picks up the duvet, ready to place it on the bed the moment Karin leaves it. "Birthday girl's wish. We're having breakfast!"

Karin wonders why she's even surprised.

Even being dead, Yuzu won't let that stop her from getting her way.

"It's my birthday too," Karin rolls her eyes, exaggerating a sigh, but relenting nevertheless, complying with getting out of bed. "I could counteract that wish, you know."

"You could, except you know that I know best," Yuzu gleefully beams, completely unfazed by Karin's grouchiness, as they walk towards the dining room. "And I know that you like to eat more than you like to sleep."

"Hm, touché," Karin concedes, pulling up a chair. Her stomach rumbles. "Alright, I am feeling kinda hungry. What did you have in mind for breakfast, birthday girl?"

"Your favourite, Karin-chan," Yuzu says, as Shiruganehiko and Koganehiko come through with trays. "Pancakes!"

Pancakes are a pretty great start to the day, actually.

"Are Ichi-nii and Goat Face coming later?" Karin asks, after she's finished devouring her share. Pancakes are just the best.

"Um, well," Yuzu hesitates, cheeks turning pink, much to Karin's astonishment. She fidgets slightly. "I was kind of hoping that we could… go to them?"

Karin blinks.

"Say again?"

Out of all the things Yuzu could have said, Karin would have never have predicted that.

"Just for today!" Yuzu is quick to add, hands flailing a little. "We sneak you out, then we sneak you back in, nobody is going to notice a thing!"

"Yuzu…"

"You used to sneak into Soul Society all the time!" Yuzu points out, and before Karin can get a word in, adds with a rush: "To see Ran-chan!"

"Yeah, I know I did," Karin isn't going to contradict her, but discomfort twists in her stomach, thinking back. At the same time… she had a Soul Society Ticket at the time and felt she should use it. Because, well, she had friends in the Tenth Division—and if they weren't going to visit her because they got too bogged down with their jobs, why shouldn't she go and visit them instead? But in the present, Karin feels reluctant to go along with Yuzu's suggestion, feeling like she's ignoring a rather important detail… "But I was also alive back then."

"So what?" Yuzu flatly says, unimpressed. "You don't think it goes both ways?"

"I mean," Karin hesitates.

Hollows cross over from one realm to the other — although strictly speaking, it was Arrancars that did that, while Hollows were usually transformed human spirits remained in the living realm from the start. Something like that, at least, Karin's fairly certain. She had it explained to her when she helped protect Karakura Town when Ichigo could not, but the exact details had faded over time.

Spirits like her, at least, didn't return to the world of the living. They didn't have the means. Didn't know how to cross over without the use of the Ticket.

The ones that did — like Rangiku or Renji or Rukia — were shinigami, and used the Senkaimon.

But then again, shinigami were still spirits. They weren't any different to anyone who lived in Rukongai, technically speaking. Right? And shinigami who escaped from Soul Society to live in the mortal realm — Urahara, Hiyori, her father — they were fine. Didn't suffer any ill effects for living there. They used a gigai sometimes, to be seen by most people, sure, but otherwise?

"Huh."

"See?" Yuzu says, sensing that she'd won her twin sister over. "What do you think, Kuukaku-san?"

"You want to spend your birthday in the mortal realm?" Kuukaku asks, pouring maple over her pancake. "I say go for it, Karin. But come back for dinner, alright?"

"We gotta make you a cake!" Ganjuu says excitedly, his mouth full, trying to swallow his food down. "Shiba Clan style!"

"Really?" Karin asks, touched.

"Hell yeah!" Ganjuu nods. "They're the best! But we can't make it while you're still here!"

"Alright then," Karin laughs, cheered by the thought. "Give me twenty minutes, and Yuzu and I will set off."

"Fuck! I forgot how much I hated the dangai!" Karin complains through huffs of air, completely out of breath, Yuzu panting besides her. For whatever reason, the Soul Ticket might grant them passage from one realm to the next, but they still had to run like hell to get there. It wasn't fair, but Karin had learnt that a lot of things about Soul Society weren't. "It never gets any easier, huh."

"Speak for yourself, I've had plenty of practise," Yuzu teases, though she's still struggling to regain her breath as well. "I've even thought about joining the running team just to improve my stamina."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yup," Yuzu sticks out her tongue. "Although, I've been thinking, Karin-chan. You could become a shinigami. It might help out in situations like these.

"Oh, please," Karin rolls her eyes, seeing straight though Yuzu's none too subtle hinting. "I'm not that desperate."

"No?" Curiosity flickers in Yuzu's expression.

"No," Karin shakes her head.

They haven't really talked about this before. Karin's not sure she wants to either.

At least, not today.

She's been thinking about it, though. Considering it — and her alternatives.

After all, both Kuukaku and Ganjuu have lived a lifetime without joining Gotei Thirteen, and have been doing alright. Honestly, they might never consider going down that path.

If they don't have to be shinigami, why should Karin be?

And besides, Yuzu and Ichigo are plenty spry — it's selfish of Karin, she knows, but having access to the Senkaimon wouldn't be that beneficial.

Not as much as they'd want it to be, at least.

"I mean, think about it," Karin sighs. "Even if I did become a shinigami, that doesn't mean I'd be able to see you every day. Who knows, maybe they'd try to discourage it because shinigami shouldn't dwell on their past life. Or something."

Karin's not that naïve.

Even if she is the sister of Kurosaki Ichigo, something that has definitely given her some perks to the afterlife, she's definitely picked up on a couple of things whenever she hung out in the Tenth Division. She knows a lot of people don't remember their past life in the mortal realm, but she wouldn't be surprised if something like that was actively disapproved for those who did.

In fact, Karin's pretty sure that the only reason she's been able to continue talking to her family in the afterlife is because of Ichigo.

"You wouldn't have to visit every day," Yuzu pouts. "Maybe every weekend?"

"I don't want to make promises I can't keep," Karin shakes her head, knowing that Yuzu was only voicing wishful thinking — thoughts that she herself finds herself expressing from time to time. As it is, Karin's been lucky with the connections that Ichigo had made, and was able to make use of. "But I'm always a phone call away, you know? Nothing is going to change that."

"I know," Yuzu says, sighing, unable to hide her disappointment, and Karin wishes that she could say something impossible and make it true, make her sister smile once more.

The only thing that might work is if Karin took a page out of Hiyori's book and ditch Soul Society as quick as she can.

(Karin knows that it's not quite how that story goes, but sometimes when Hiyori grumbles and rants about those days, if Hiyori admitted that the thought had crossed her mind before Soul Society decided to cast them out, Karin wouldn't have been surprised. Then again, it's always been hard to tell how much Hiyori liked anything, since she riles up easily and can find something to irk her, no matter how small that nit-pick might be.)

Even if Karin did become a shinigami and sneak away to live the rest of her life in the mortal realm — it might not be the best thing to try and do that quite so soon after graduations.

"No, I know," Yuzu laments softly, and despite everything, manages a smile like she knows she's being silly and can't help it. "I can dream, though."

"Mm," Karin says, noncommittal, looking away and preferring to take a few steps forward and look at familiar surroundings. "Karakura Town hasn't changed a bit."

And yet, she's missed it so much.

"It's only been a few months, Karin-chan," Yuzu tells her gently, beginning to reach out to her and then deciding against it. "It won't have changed that quickly."

"Still."

A few months.

It feels… well, it feels longer than that, somehow.

"Do you want to go Urahara's shop?" Yuzu asks, unsure. Her brows furrow. "We could get you a gigai?"

"It's probably better that we don't," Karin closes her eyes and tries to get accustomed to the sound of the streets and cars and people chattering.

It's so noisy here — not that life in Rukongai is silent, exactly, but it's a different sort of chaos and rhythm to be found.

She'd missed the noise more than she realized. It's so easy to take it for granted when she was alive. But now Karin can't help but listen to the sounds. The hustle and bustle of everyday life. Music blaring from car stereos. People arguing on their phones. Tyres skidding because the driver is going too fast. The jingle of a door opening from a convenience store.

What a weird thing to appreciate in its absence.

Still, Karin is tempted by Yuzu's offer. Who knows? Maybe Urahara might be willing to give her a discount, even now.

Thing is, Karakura Town is a small place and if she stumbles across her old friends — how would she explain it to them? That she's only back for the day, and only because it's her birthday, and she's still dead despite being back in Karakura Town — no.

Karin had wanted to keep the spiritual side of her separate from her friends, and even if the two worlds had overlapped from time to time, she never confided in them that ghosts were real and she could see them.

"If we did, I'd probably have to grab a hoodie and hope that would be the perfect disguise," Karin deadpans, amused by the thought. It worked for superheroes, she supposes, why wouldn't it work for her? "I'll just… y'know. Be a ghost."

"I'll protect you from any Hollows, Karin-chan," Yuzu sweetly promises her, leaning forward, arms behind her back. "If Ichi-nii hasn't got to them first!"

Karin laughs. Places a hand over her heart.

"My hero."

They go to Hiyori's.

"Buzz-buzz," Karin teases, unable to stop herself from grinning when she spots her friend.

"What's that?" Hiyori says, snapping her head up, and putting a hand to her ear. "Has someone stupid turned up?"

"I wouldn't know, Hiyori. The only stupid person I see is you," Karin counters, folding her arms over her chest. When Karin catches the faintest hint of a smile, she continues. "Told ya I'd be back before you know it."

"Shit, did you go rogue already?" Hiyori smirks, teeth poking out, impressed despite herself. "Soul Society must really be more incompetent than I thought if you're here. Well. That, or you really are exploiting your connection to your brother."

"Who can say?" Karin agrees easily, glibly staying vague, knowing that'll annoy her.

Hiyori glares at her, wanting more of a rise. That's always been their way. Hiyori throws out caustic commentary as easily as breathing, and Karin's always been pretty good at neatly sidestepping them, never taking them as personally as she might from someone else. Well. Most times. Other times, Karin gives in, snaps back, and shouting matches ensue.

Karin raises her eyebrow, refusing to be the first to break.

It works: Hiyori huffs, and just like that, victory is hers.

"You haven't changed, Karin," Hiyori remarks at last, rolling her eyes.

"Aw," Karin says, because from Hiyori that's practically mushy. "I've missed you too."

They don't spend long at Hiyori's; making their stop short but sweet, but it was still good to catch up, in Karin's opinion.

Next is home.

"Are you okay?" Yuzu asks softly, watching her carefully. "It's okay if you need to take a moment."

"I'm good," Karin affirms, meeting her twin sister's gaze. Her heart beats a little rapidly, but it's only because she's been away for so long — she isn't nervous, really. Home will always be home. Karin knows that. "Open the door, Yuzu, or I'll just pass through it."

"You will do no such thing!" Yuzu gasps, admonishingly. "You have better manners than that!"

"If you don't stop being so slow —" Karin begins, teasing, and stops as she hears the door click as Yuzu turns the key and the door swings open. "There we go, nothing like a bit of motivational speaking."

"Uh huh," Yuzu says, dryly, displeased by Karin's 'motivational speech'. "Well, welcome back."

"I'm home," Karin says, softly, and passes through the threshold.

It's good to know that their house is the same as ever, only —

"Holy shit!"

"What?"

"Is that…" Karin blinks, stunned at what she's seeing. "Is that a shrine of me?"

It makes sense, of course, that there would be a shrine at her house. She did die. She is dead. But —

But it's still a shock to her system.

"Of course, dearest daughter!" Her father's familiar voice booms through the house and Karin wonders what direction he'll come from. With Goat Face, it's always been hard to tell. His voice is just that loud and Karin's pretty sure that in the four months that she's been dead, he had installed speakers in every single room so his true location was a mystery. "Did you think that just because we can visit you and talk to you on the phone that we weren't going to have a shrine of you and pray to you every single day?"

Karin turns to Yuzu.

"Every day?"

"Every day," Isshin confirms, appearing out of thin air with a flourish.

"Oh."

Karin finds herself getting a little misty-eyed by that, the air knocked out of her. Words are difficult to come by, somehow, turning to lumps in her throat.

"Oh, my dearest wife, if only you could see Karin-chan now!"

And just like that, awe turns into annoyance.

"Will you quit it, old man!" Karin says, temper flaring and kicking him on pure instinct.

… well.

Tries to.

Much to her dismay, her foot passes right through him.

"What the?" Karin blinks, momentarily confused before reality sets in and she recalls exactly why the last time kicked him it was a successful hit.

Because they were in Soul Society at the time.

"Oh for goodness sake," Karin rolls her eyes, and places her hands on her hips, annoyed at him, at herself, at everything. "Forgot I was a ghost."

A stupid ghost that died by choking on a pretzel.

Muscle memory is the worst.

"Masaki," Goat Face says, hands clasped and close to his chest, completely unaffected by Karin's dour reaction. "See how feisty out daughter remains even in as a spirit!"

"On second thought," Karin murmurs, and turns to Yuzu with a frown. "Maybe I should have gotten a gigai after all."

Yuzu merely laughs and it's like how it's always been.

"I'll make a quick phone call," Yuzu says, and Karin raises an eyebrow.

"Using the opportunity for a chance to talk to Jinta?" Karin teases, entertained by how Yuzu's cheeks turn rosy. Gotcha.

"That's just a bonus!"

Electricity is the best.

As much as Karin has enjoyed living in the feudal era of the afterlife, nothing beats modern day technology.

Turns out that a gigai was needed in order to play Tekken, after all.

Ichigo and Orihime come round later.

"Karin!" Ichigo says, happy but taken aback by her appearance. "What are you doing here?"

"I missed playing videogames," Karin deadpans. "You interested in playing a few matches?"

"Don't mind if I do," Ichigo says, sitting down beside her. He nudges her gently. "I was going to visit you in Soul Society later today anyway. You didn't have to come here."

"I wanted to," Karin says, sideways glancing at Yuzu with a knowing look.

Yuzu beams in response.

"Birthday girl's wish," Yuzu says, in a self-congratulating tone.

"Right," Ichigo drawls. He looks at Karin, archly asking. "Puppy eyes?"

"No, but I'm pretty sure it was a close thing," Karin says, lightly. "I was dithering about coming back to Karakura Town, but you know what it's like when Yuzu has to have her way. It's hard to refuse her."

"Hey!"

"It always has been," Ichigo notes sombrely, and Yuzu's face is getting redder and redder.

"Remember what dinner used to be like?" Karin deadpans, looking at Ichigo with a meaningful expression.

"How can I forget?" Ichigo grimaces, shuddering at the memory, and only Karin can see his grin.

Meanwhile steam is practically about to burst from Yuzu's ears.

"I'm sure that's not true, Yuzu-chan!" Orihime says, pacifyingly and Yuzu crosses her arms and glares at her sarcastic siblings.

"It isn't!"

It's like nothing has changed.

What a weird family they are — and yet, Karin can't begrudge them for it.

Actually, she's rather fond of them. Yeah, they're a weird bunch, but then again, they've always been weird even before her brother became an unsung hero and saved the world with his friends.

A ghost in the Kurosaki household is a pretty standard sight, after all.

"Thought you'd never come back," Kuukaku remarks dryly, waiting for them at the entrance of her house. "You took your sweet time."

"Didn't know I had to be back by a certain hour," Karin replies in a flat tone. There's Kuukaku's rule that they should be back before nine to have dinner, but it's seven at the most. "We usually eat later than this."

"Come to think about it, I didn't really get round to explaining Shiba Clan birthdays, did I?" Ganjuu says, hitting his forehead with the palm of his hand. "That's on me."

"Nay, nephew, it is on me," Isshin steps in, grandly and with gesticulation. "I did my best to hurry them, but they would not listen."

"Uncle Isshin!"

"… that's not even the slightest bit true," Ichigo grumbles, something which both Ganjuu and Kuukaku gleefully ignore.

"Kids can be so ungrateful, Uncle," Kuukaku says, shaking her head. "I do my best to do right by Karin-chan, but sometimes, it's a real challenge."

"Hey!"

"You're doing the best you can, niece," Isshin nods, seriously. "I'd expect nothing less."

"Uncle!"

Obnoxiousness runs in the Shiba Clan family. Karin's lucky that she and her siblings did not inherit that gene.

"They're not usually like this," Karin swears to Ichigo and Yuzu, embarrassed by her old man's antics. If they were, she probably would have preferred to live far, far away. "Goat Face just brings it out of them, somehow."

"Sometimes, Karin, I think back to that time when I didn't know that I was related to those two," Ichigo says, grim understanding on his face. "I was happier back then, not knowing."

"Ignorance isn't bliss, Ichigo-kun," Orihime says softly, touching his arm.

"Hmm," Ichigo looks at her, gracing a smile, expression softening as he then watches their overdramatic side of the family. "Not always, no. But I think it is in this case, Orihime."

Three sharp and succinct claps cut through the commotion.

"Cake's done!" Koganehiko says, once he's gained everyone's attention. "Seems like you guys arrived just in the nick of time."

Cake and fireworks is a pretty great way to end the day, Karin has to admit.

Koganehiko and Shiruganehiko are excellent cooks — Karin knows this whenever they decide to hold a feast — but she had greatly underestimated their birthday cake abilities because they truly exceed her expectations.

It's a deliciously creamy cake with that just melts in her mouth.

As for the fireworks?

Well.

Kuukaku knows how to put on a show, pulling out all the stops.

Bright and dazzling and radiant, the fireworks explode prettily in the sky — Karin and Yuzu's favourite colours splayed across the skies.

Red shimmers, orange glitters, pink flickers.

On and on the show goes — a symphony of explosions in the sky, whizzing and popping, set alight in resplendence, and Karin doesn't want to blink in fear of missing anything.

Somehow, and Karin will never understand what kind of witchcraft Kuukaku uses — Clyde exists in the sky — a smattering of white gold light sparkling in the night sky, as if he is a constellation, belonging with all the rest of the stars that shine.

And then it ends in a flourish of purple — Happy Birthday Karin And Yuzu — before the words fade away.

"Wow," Karin says, having fallen into silence once more. Her mouth moves but words do not come. "That was…"

"… incredible," Yuzu finishes, and Karin nods. There really is no other word to describe it.

"Professional firecracker," Kuukaku grins, pointing at herself with her thumb, and it's the perfect end to a perfect day.

AN. I know this is a bit of a filler chapter, but I wanted to write a happy chapter since the last chapter was a bit depressing. I know it's not a great chapter, and I feel it's a little rusty, since I've been hemming and hawing where I want this story to go next - I've got rough ideas, but I've always found it difficult to figure exactly what happens next - but this story is going somewhere, hopefully!

Anyway, thank you so much for the lovely reviews. They never fail to brighten my day.