Credit goes to trash-with-pride for the image cover.

Compliant with Bleach up until the final two epilogue chapters, though this fic will include elements of the epilogue and the novel We Do Knot Always Love You and features background IH and RR.

blizzard blues

i.

"Shirou-chan," Momo says, entering his office with a confused look on her face. "Why is everyone asking me about your older brother?"

Toushirou lets out a deep sigh.

He always knew this day would come.

Still, that didn't mean he had hoped, foolishly, that it never would.

His ideal scenario would be that the incident would have been forgotten by now, even though he waited for someone to mention it, even though he wished for everyone to dismiss it as nonsense.

Frankly, he's surprised it took a year.

(Over a year, in fact. One year and seven months, to be precise.)

And now his life would never be the same again.

It had started harmlessly enough, he supposed, casting his mind back. He'd been suspicious of the lack of questions by Abarai and Kuchiki afterwards when he'd returned to his original form, but relieved that they hadn't said anything at the same time. They had been busy with the Quincy War and the aftermath, that he supposed that it made sense that the two Vice-Captains hadn't said anything yet. In fact, he had intended to correct them himself on their mistaken assumption, after his embarrassment of going along with it had faded, but by then too much time had passed that he felt it was awkward to bring it up.

Besides, it's not like letting them believe he had an older brother did any harm, right? That's how he rationalized it, at least.

Months went by, and there was nothing. No mention of an older Hitsugaya brother. No rumours, no whispers, nothing. He had begun to relax, after a year, figuring he could finally lower his guard and put it all behind him, and of course, in perfect irony, that's when gossip about his older brother resurfaced, and the questions began.

A question that Momo is asking at this very moment.

He can see this escalating very quickly if he doesn't put a stop to it now while he has the chance. Because if this gets out of hand…

It'll only be a matter of time before Matsumoto will gather wind of this, her ears sharp and constantly listening for the next piece of juicy information. Whatever her intentions may be, if it concerns his 'brother', Toushirou is certain that the situation will only worsen.

If he was lucky.

"You don't have an older brother," Momo states pointedly, when the silence drags on and on and Toushirou is too distracted by dreading what Matsumoto might scheme up to answer her. Momo regards him carefully, head tilting to the side. Speculating. "Unless —"

"No," Toushirou interrupts, his heart beating in panicked frenzy, desperate to not let Momo finish her thought.

Momo stares at him, and he raises his hand, silently asking her not to speak or jump to conclusions just yet. Not until he calms down. Not until he relaxes again. Not until he's certain his mind won't get carried away by irrationality.

"Of course I don't, Momo," Toushirou says, a little exasperated, curtailing his own train of thoughts. He curls his hands on top of his desk, exhaling. "You would have known about him if I had."

"I thought so," Momo murmurs, shoulders lowering into quiet relief. It only lasts a moment, though, because then she looks at him again, eyes wide and quizzical. "So why is everyone saying that you have one?"

"It doesn't matter," Toushirou says, shaking his head, not wanting to go into the specifics. Not here, at least. Knowing Momo, she'd probably laugh when he told her the reason. "Just continue to act as if you don't know what they're talking about."

Maybe that way, if they tried hard enough, his brother would be forgotten once more and never talked about again.

"Shirou-chan," Momo says, staring at him, like she doesn't know what to say. He doesn't back down, though, staring right back, and eventually, Momo sighs. Somewhat hesitantly, Momo eventually nods. "Alright, your secret is safe with me."

Before Toushirou even has the chance to breathe, to be grateful —

"Secret?" Matsumoto says, robin egg eyes bright and intrigued. Her lips are upturned as she gleefully interrupts their private moment, and saunters to the sofa to make herself comfortable.

Toushirou wished that he had the sense to have fled his office, with Momo in hand, the second he realized where this conversation was going. Before something like this inevitably happened.

Too late.

"What secret?"

"Nothing that concerns you," Toushirou rebukes sharply, frowning at his Vice-Captain. Usually that tactic worked. At least, it did on a good day.

"If you say so," Matsumoto obliges, easily, raising both hands up as a gesture of defeat.

That was far too easy, Toushirou thinks, instantly suspicious of his Vice-Captain, but too busy to shoot a meaningful look at Momo, who is currently trying her best to conceal a smile behind her hand, to even suspect what underhanded thing Matsumoto might come up with.

With an angelic expression, and sounding oh-so-innocent, Matsumoto asks, casually, "Does this have anything to do with your hotter and sexier older brother, Captain?"

Momo bursts into laughter.

Toushirou ignores his traitorous childhood friend, bristling instead.

"Who told you that?"

There are three people who know the existence of his 'older brother', and Toushirou is fairly certain that he can narrow it down to one particular person —

"Renji did," Matsumoto cheerfully answers, looking at them both triumphantly, while Momo gasps for air and Toushirou tries very hard to avoid thoughts about how he should like to murder Abarai Renji.

It's an attempt that lasts two seconds.

I'll freeze his feet, Toushirou decides, nails digging deep into the meat of his palm; determined to keep his face expressionless. Then slowly work up his ankles.

The downside, Toushirou realizes belatedly, is that Captain Kuchiki might possibly miss his Vice-Captain. And certainly, Vice-Captain Kuchiki would most definitely miss him.

And yet, Captain Kuchiki might understand, Toushirou thinks to himself in vain. Might sympathize, in fact. Might even think that Abarai deserved punishment for being a meddling busybody and stirring up trouble for no reason.

"I see," Toushirou says, non-committal, still musing on how he should enact his revenge. It would be Abarai out of the three who revealed the existence of his… 'older brother'.

Toushirou would hardly call himself a friend of Kuchiki Byakuya, but it's quite easy to imagine that the Sixth Division Captain would consider it beneath him to indulge such rumours. As for the other Kuchiki, it seemed likely to Toushirou that she would emulate her older brother's behaviour, but then again, Kuchiki Rukia and Abarai Renji are quite the pair.

Not to mention that it was in fact Kuchiki Rukia that was the special snowflake to jump to that conclusion.

If the air becomes colder, both Momo and Matsumoto refrain from commenting.

"He told me last night when we went out for drinks," Matsumoto adds helpfully, suppling Toushirou with information that only worsens his mood.

Wonderful, Toushirou thinks, dryly, as the pieces slowly fall into place. Even better.

"Shirou-chan," Momo admits in a quiet voice, straightening her shoulders, trying very hard not to laugh. "Abarai-kun was the one asking me about… him, as well."

To start with the feet would be too merciful, Toushirou decides swiftly. Too kind.

Since Matsumoto knew, it was only a matter of time before the rest of the Shinigami Women's Association would be informed. As Kusajishi and Unohana were gone, the role of President had been given to Matsumoto, the role of Supervisor had been given to Soifon, and Ise had remained Vice-President.

Whenever their next meeting was, that was when true havoc would begin.

"Oh," Toushirou says, a sour taste in his mouth, as he stares resolutely at his unfinished paperwork. He wills himself to unclench his hands.

"So?" Matsumoto prompts, excitedly looking at them both, her auburn hair swishing past her shoulders as she turns to stare at them with a buoyant grin. "When am I going to meet him?"

"You're not," Toushirou states curtly. "Because —"

He doesn't exist.

Somehow, he can't bring himself to actually say the words out loud.

Matsumoto raises an eyebrow. Intrigued. "Because, Captain?"

"They, uh," Momo clears her throat, and Toushirou discreetly sends her a thankful look as she comes up with an excuse while Matsumoto focuses all her attention on Momo with eager eyes. "They don't get on."

A simple excuse, but effective nonetheless.

"Never have," Toushirou contributes gruffly, aware at how Matsumoto's gaze bores into him. He slams his hand on his desk, ending the subject once and for all. "I don't like to talk about him. Now, get back to work, the both of you!"

Now that he has, with the aid of Momo, inadvertently validated his older brother's existence, he supposes it's natural that things gets worse instead of better.

No matter how grumpily he states that it's a lost cause, and his brother has long since left Soul Society, the Shinigami Women's Association are on the lookout for him, trying to glean details from the five people who have actually met the older Hitsugaya.

Momo is surprisingly good at being evasive whereas Abarai and Kuchiki, thankfully, have barely anything to contribute, having only met the older Hitsugaya brother once.

Kuchiki Byakuya says nothing, but his stony glare says everything.

He goes and visits Karakura Town to escape and have an afternoon of peace and quiet.

Just for a little while, so he can cool his head.

He goes to his favourite hill, and sits upon the grass.

"Hey, Toushirou," Karin grins, eyes lighting up the second she notices him. Crooked teeth and all. She lifts her hand and waves, and already reflectively, he's grinning back.

It's sad how refreshing it is — to be seen for himself instead of being interrogated for his mysterious older brother. He's not good at being put on the spot, forced to make up conceivable sounding excuses and still remain vague about everything.

Karin, though, looks at him, and sees only Toushirou.

"How have you been?"

"Good," Toushirou answers bluntly, stuffing his hands into his pocket. He tries to stop feeling so disgruntled, but it's not easy, even if Karin is beside him. Somehow, she's always had the ability to make him feel at ease. "Felt like a change of scenery."

"Ah, okay," Karin nods, understandingly, placing her arms behind her head. She says nothing for a moment, as if waiting for him to have the chance to elaborate, before she inquires. "Things pretty hectic over there still?"

Kurosaki Ichigo might not have told Karin everything about the Quincy War, but he told her enough, Toushirou hopes. Kurosaki Isshin too — even after enough time has passed, it's still mind blowing to realize that Karin is his former Captain's daughter. It was bad enough when he found out that she was Kurosaki Ichigo's sister; it was almost a horrifying nightmare to be informed by the very man himself sporting a huge grin on his face that both those brats were his children.

It's a shock to discover that his former Captain is alive, that his former Captain married a Quincy, that he has spawned offspring, but then, knowing how eccentric and unpredictable his former Captain was, Toushirou wonders if he really should be surprised after all. He wonders what this means for both Karin and Yuzu, who, along with Kurosaki, is part shinigami, part Quincy, and part Fullbringer. But maybe that part only matters if their powers activate.

Toushirou can never bring himself to ask Karin if she'd become a Quincy if given the chance. If she'd prefer to protect people by way of arrow instead of sword; if she'd prefer to wear white instead of black.

If Karin has thoughts on the matter, then she hasn't confided in him.

He supposes it doesn't matter, given how resigned she was taking up her brother's mantle when he lost his powers. Toushirou remembers her saying that it was her turn to protect her brother, but that didn't mean she liked it.

Anyway.

People approach Toushirou far more often these days, much to his displeasure. Nine times out of ten, it's a not-so-unexpected question about his older brother. He's tried everything — from glaring, to frowning, to scowling — nothing dissuades them from summoning up their courage and questioning him. Sometimes they're not even questions, just amazed statements.

("I heard he had an eight pack, Captain! That he was shredded!"

"Get out of my sight.")

"In a manner of speaking," Toushirou says slowly, not wanting to explain the entire ridiculous debacle that is driving him slowly but surely insane.

Why bother to explain? It's stupid, humiliating and unexpectedly convoluted. It would be a hassle to explain the situation he'd spent a year grateful that he'd manage to avoid, all because Abarai Renji had kept his mouth shut, and now, to have to talk about a foolhardy goose chase that a particular group of people who don't properly understand the circumstances… it's just ridiculous to even try to explain. Where would he even start?

How does he even begin to admit that he's somehow managed to mislead the whole of Seireitei into thinking that he actually has an older brother, and only four people including himself know that is not true?

Even if he put it like that — in such a simple and concise way — he has no doubt that Karin would only laugh.

Maybe Karin would laugh and tease him and make him feel better about it, but at the moment, he's so sick and tired about the whole debacle that he doesn't want to think about it at all.

That's not why he's in Karakura Town right now.

And Karin —

One of the many things that Toushirou appreciates about Karin is that she's always known how to make him forget his worries for a little while. Even if she doesn't know what the problem is, there's just something about her that he's found comforting.

"Hm," Karin says, peering at him like Momo occasionally does, mouth pursed but not saying anything else. Her hands fall to her side, and she shrugs, letting the issue go. Apropos of nothing, she says. "Did you know that Orihime confessed to Ichi-nii?"

"Wait, really?" Toushirou blinks owlishly, his mouth falling open. He hadn't been expecting that.

He'd known that Inoue harboured feelings for Kurosaki, of course, just like he'd known about Abarai's feelings for Kuchiki Rukia — it's common knowledge, after all — and he's fairly certain that Matsumoto and Momo had reminded him about it on more than one occasion.

He simply hadn't cared.

Since Momo and Abarai were good friends, when the time came and Abarai Renji and Kuchiki Rukia had finally started dating, Toushirou, by proxy of being Momo's friend, was among the first to know. That had been two years ago.

To be honest, he's surprised that Matsumoto hadn't said anything. Maybe she had, though, and he hadn't paid attention. Or he had, but was preoccupied by other things.

"Yeah," Karin nods, sincere. She smiles, and looks up at the clear blue sky. When she speaks again, her voice is soft. "About time, you know?"

"I suppose," Toushirou wrinkles his nose. He doesn't really have an opinion on it — it was Inoue's business on how she chose to act on her feelings, and if it made her happy, then as her friend and former roommate, he's happy for her.

He exhales, letting all the air leave his lungs. He wouldn't call himself curious, certainly never as overtly as Matsumoto would be when he told her, if she didn't know already, but he'll permit himself to ask.

Toushirou nudges her, and meets her gaze once more. "What did Kurosaki say?"

"He said yes, of course!" Karin says, and laughs. "About time too, you know. I was convinced they were going to dance around each other forever and nothing short of a miracle would get one of them to confess."

"Oh?" Toushirou blinks. "They already saved the world together. What could top that?"

"See, that lacks romanticism. And Ichi-nii is a huge romantic, even if he'd never admit it," Karin notes, furrowing her brow, thinking. "No, I think it would have be more grand a gesture — something like a wedding, maybe. If he saw one of his friends getting married, that I think, might have pushed him to make a move. But even then I don't know if he'd have worked up the nerve to do it."

"Good thing Inoue did it instead, then," Toushirou deadpans, and Karin beams blindingly.

"Yeah," Karin says, and her grin fades. "It's weird to think that once upon a time I thought was he going to end up with someone else."

"Let me guess," Toushirou says, "Kuchiki?"

"Yup," Karin nods, "Though that only lasted for about thirty seconds, really. I mean, I was eleven, what did I know?"

"You've changed so much since then," Toushirou teases, unable to keep a smirk off his face.

"Shut up," Karin snickers along with him. "Look, it's just. I found it suspicious. She lived in Ichi-nii's cupboard when they first met! His cupboard!"

"I didn't know that," Toushirou says, frowning. "I'd find that pretty suspicious too."

"Yeah, it's not really something they talk about… I don't even think that they know I know about that either," Karin's cheeks reddens, and she rubs her neck nervously. The Kurosaki family is full of secrets even now it seems. "But I thought she seemed familiar, and later, things clicked into place. It wasn't that hard to figure out that's where she'd been living. Anyway, that's kind of off topic. What was I trying to say again?"

"You were talking about Kuchiki living in Kurosaki's cupboard."

"Right! That was it! A fifteen year old boy riddled with hormones has a pretty girl in his cupboard and nothing happened between them?" Karin says, almost outraged, that somehow he's reminded of his former Captain and his penchant for scandal. "I mean, come on."

"I think I heard a few rumours about them in school," Toushirou notes, thinking back. He can't be too sure of that, though. Something about a window, maybe?

"Probably, but I don't think those rumours were quite as bad as the ones that happened when Rukia first arrived," Karin says. "Definitely not the same kind of speculation."

"What about Inoue?" Toushirou asks, curious despite himself. "Were there any rumours about Inoue and Kurosaki?"

"Some, sure. They got a lot closer throughout high school, and neither of them were particularly subtle about their feelings, so I'm sure someone noticed," Karin flashes a grin. "I know I had some fun teasing Ichigo about Orihime. He got riled up so easily, it was the best!"

"You're such a brat," Toushirou snorts.

"Guilty as charged," Karin agrees easily, unperturbed. "But seriously, when I realized that Ichi-nii is… gentler when Orihime around, that's when I kind of knew they had something special going on."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, there's something about Orihime that makes Ichi-nii… the person he used to be," Karin admits, struggling to find the words. "He wasn't always such a grouchy person, Toushirou, not when Kaa-chan was alive, and I don't remember those days too well, but I've seen the photos. Bits and pieces of memory remain. We were all… so much happier back then. And, Ichi-nii used to be really happy, and losing Kaa-chan changed everything. But Orihime… there's something that lets Ichi-nii be happy once again. Like he doesn't have to guard himself against her. That sounds silly, doesn't it?"

"No, not at all," Toushirou assures her.

"The first time I heard Ichi-nii call Orihime by her first name, well, it had been a long time since I had seen him be that happy. And when Orihime called Ichi-nii by his first name? Well, he could hardly believe it either," Karin says, and it seems to Toushirou that there's a bit of a romantic side to her after all. "They make a really cute couple, actually."

"Good," Toushirou says, for lack of anything else to say. Good for them. "How long have they been dating?"

"Since last year," Karin says, genuinely pleased. "It's nice to see Ichi-nii smile all the time."

"Oh."

"Yeah. So, what'll it be?" Karin asks, changing subject abruptly, and Toushirou catches her sly smile before it flits away and disappears. She tilts her head, dark locks of hair slanting past her shoulders as a result, and she looks at him, playful before she elaborates. "Soccer, Tekken, or food? I'm feeling generous today, so the choice is yours."

"You call that generous?" Toushirou deadpans, glancing at her in disbelief. Smirks. "That's just things you want to do."

"You got a better idea?" Karin grins, and it's stupidly infectious.

"Good point," Toushirou concedes, hesitating for only a moment. "I could eat. Then defeat you in soccer."

"Is that trash talking I hear?" Karin banters, arching her brow, laughter clearly in her voice, delighted that their competitive natures strike again. "You're going to have to do better than that."

"Oh, I haven't even started, Kurosaki," Toushirou drawls, and Karin laughs, offering her hand to help him up.

It is, Toushirou is satisfied to say, an afternoon well spent.

At least until he gets back to Soul Society and gets bombarded by a whole new slew of questions.

Instantly, he goes to the person responsible.

"What do you mean," Toushirou asks slowly, narrowing his eyes and folding his arms across his chest. He's not angry. No. Not really. He's frustrated and trying to keep his patience and he is remaining calm as he speaks through gritted teeth. But he is certainly not angry. "That my brother's name is Juushirou?"

He is furious.

"Um, well," Momo squeaks, uncomfortable, her round cheeks colouring pink as she fumbles for an explanation that Toushirou has yet to hear. She giggles awkwardly, and then stutters into nervous silence. A panicked expression temporarily flickers over her features before her shoulders rise and her hands clench and she rabbits out her reasoning. "I had to call him something, right, Shirou-chan? I couldn't just call him Shirou-kun, could I?"

Silence.

"You did, didn't you," Toushirou states flatly, not even bothering to phrase it as a question.

Momo wilts, and slowly nods.

"… it would have been too confusing to keep saying 'Captain Hitsugaya' and 'Captain Hitsugaya's brother'," Momo admits in whisper, colour suffusing into dark red.

When has Momo ever called Toushirou 'Captain Hitsugaya' except for when he reminds her to?

Toushirou sighs, fury faltering. "Of course it would."

"It just slipped out, and you know what it's like — once it's out, you can't take it back," Momo admits, before burying her head in her hands. Muffled, she continues, "I'm sorry, Shirou-chan."

"Don't be," Toushirou relents, softening his gaze when Momo looks up and he smiles gently at her, anger abated. Deciding to take pity on her, he continues. "It's probably for the best you named him, people were bound to get confused about which Hitsugaya brother they were talking about sooner or later."

The amount of times confusion has been caused because someone had forgotten to specify which Kotetsu sister they were referring to was too many to count. Though it could be easily fixed by asking which Division the Kotetsu sister was from — currently either Third or Fourth — although rumour had it that the younger Kotetsu sister had set her sights on becoming the Vice-Captain in the Fourth Division, when the older Kotetsu sister was already the Captain of that Division, was bound to make it more confusing in the future, whenever that came to pass.

The Kuchiki siblings were a less extreme example of this, easier to differentiate for most part, with some occasional slipups, with amusing results.

There was a reason Toushirou often assigned siblings their full name instead of referring to them by just their surname in his internal monologues.

"Still," Momo hums, lashes casting shadows on the curve of her cheeks. "You wouldn't have named him Juushirou."

"No," Toushirou remarks, icily. "Obviously."

"Is that why you didn't get along with Captain Ukitake?" Matsumoto asks, eyes wide, springing the oh-so-predictable question the second she sees him. "Because he shared the same name as your hotter and sexier older brother?"

"Please, Matsumoto," Toushirou rolls his eyes, dismissive. He wishes Momo had chosen a different name. But it's too late now. Muttering under his breath, he adds, "I'm not that petty."

The reason that Toushirou didn't like the late Captain Ukitake was because he had constantly given him sweets each chance he got — not because he happened to be the namesake of his older brother, who was, unbeknownst to a select few, completely imaginary.

There's a difference.

When Ukitake wasn't handing out sweets for Toushirou to awkwardly but resignedly accept, he felt it was fair to say that they were generally quite amicable to each other. Toushirou may have never voiced his discomfort in admitting that he didn't like sweets, but he did his best to maintain a polite and professional working relationship with him.

(He had thought that after Ukitake passed away, it would be the end of being given sweets.

As it turns out, Kyouraku had taken it upon himself to carry on his friend's old hobby — which of course meant that it was Ise Nanao who dropped by his office instead, armed with a bag of sweets and copious amount of paperwork.

With a sigh, and face flushed with embarrassment, he let Ise in, and offered her a place to sit, and dump the candy in the candy corner. Together in harmonious silence, they were able to complete their paperwork.

In an odd twist of fate, it was a surprising improvement.)

"I respected Captain Ukitake very much," Toushirou states firmly, crossing his arms.

"Mmhm," Matsumoto hums, unimpressed.

Something about her reaction rubs him the wrong way, and as he stares at her, growing red faced, he can't help but raise his voice and shout:

"I got along with Ukitake just fine, I tell you!"

"Whatever you say, Captain," Matsumoto singsongs, and Toushirou suppresses a groan.

It's useless to try and convince her. Toushirou knows. There's no point in attempting some sort of dissuasion. But he still has to fight the urge to give it a go, pride smarting from her insolence. Time and time again has shown that it'll only end in failure, and by then he'll be irritated beyond belief at how stubborn Matsumoto was being, refusing to listen to any reasonable explanation.

And then she'll innocently smile at him, like she was oblivious to causing him any sort of misery in the first place, and his headache will only worsen at the sight.