DISCLAIMER: This is a (non-profit) fan based parody. DragonBall, Dragon Ball Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by Funimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release, but not GT. Let that thing die in peace. Oh, and Dragon Ball Evolution. Lost a few brain cells watching the trailer for that one.

The following is the statement of the alleged victim of the alleged attack.

VICTIM'S STATEMENT: I was walking down the hallway when Gohan shoved me against the wall and tried to punch me. The previous day I had accidentally bumped into him, spilling his soda.* In order to get away from him, I had to slide down from his grasp. He hit the wall and cursed me out and swore to get me next time. Next time was apparently during gym. He dragged me into the men's changing room and pointed a gun at me, threatening to kill me if I ever did something like that again. He then took the butt of the gun and smashed my hand with it, breaking it. When I managed to get to the nurse's office, I told them what happened and they said they would call the police, but I had to stay in the office until he was arrested.

*(NOTE BY A DOCTOR: Tests performed on Son Gohan's blood showed no trace of ever having touched a diet soda in his life; though there were traces of phenylalanine** in his system, it was naturally occurring and not synthetic in nature. The victim later admitted he took his own soda and poured it over Gohan's head in retaliation for some perceived slight or another. Tests on the traces of soda remaining in Son Gohan's clothing revealed it to be a diet soda, which prompted the testing for phenylalanine)

The following is a transcription of a brief questioning of the alleged victim on the particulars of the alleged attack (some parts censored for the safety of the parties involved). Note that this is after the student was confronted with the evidence resulting from the tests. As before, the victim's name is referred to as [Bob].

(recording starts)

Interviewer: This is Officer Johnson Fredricks of the West City Police Department, interviewing the victim regarding the events of August 28. The date today is September 15. Will you please state your name and age for the record.

Student: My name is [Bob], and I am 17 years old.

(From here on, O refers to the officer speaking and S is the student)

O: [Bob], can you please tell me why Son Gohan attacked you?

S: I poured soda over his head.

O: I see. And why did you pour the soda over his head?

S: He embarrassed me in front of a bunch of my friends (mutters something inaudible).

O: I'm sorry, son, I couldn't hear you. What was that?

S: He...(student hesitates)...I ended up being dissed by one of my enemies in school. I lost respect because he's just a little geek and he ignored me.

O: Ok. You do know that you overreacted, right?

S: Well...yeah but...he did too...

O: [Bob], you do know that he says he doesn't know what he did to upset you. He also says that he never had a gun.

S: Um...he must have hidden it somewhere, I guess.

O: Well, if he did, he hid it pretty well, because we can't find it anywhere. Kiddo, is there something you aren't telling me?

S: ...I'm kinda feeling a bit uncomfortable...Can I go home, please?

O: I suppose...[Bob], look. If there's something you haven't told us, you need to come clean. You seem to be a good kid, ok? Don't mess it up this early on in life. If there's something you need to say, you can come back up here or call the department and ask for me, alright?

S: ...ok... Thank you sir.

O: No problem, son. It was a pleasure speaking with you today.

**Phenylalanine is an amino acid that usually occurs naturally in small amounts in the body, it is found in abundance in mammalian female milk and is widely used in the food industry via the artificial sweetener aspartame (most notably in sugar-free gums and diet sodas).

Ok! Next time: we get to hear Son Gohan's side of the story. And we all know that what he says is going to be the truth (I sometimes wonder if that kid even knows what a lie is). Hope you enjoyed this! Don't forget to leave a review on your way out. Or shoot me a PM with your thoughts! Buh-bye! Oh, and for you guys who were wondering about the science: It's real, so don't get all science choppy on me XD