What Could Have Been.

As Narcissa Malfoy neé Black stood in the Forbidden Forrest she watched a young man walk to his fate and her master struck him down. She hadn't expected the Dark Lord to fall as the boy did. When her Lord instructed her to check the boy to ensure he was indeed dead she felt remorse. This could so easily have been her child. Once when she was young and naïve, full of the confidence of youth, young enough to think you know better than your own parents she was a girl with a plan.

Once in Hogwarts there were four boys, these four were think as thieves and at times where almost as criminal. Proud Gryffindors they were, James Potter, the leader, handsome, charismatic and utterly charming. Sirius Black her cousin, thought to be a traitor to his own blood, as handsome as Potter with roguish appeal, Remus Lupin the quiet one, ragged looking but with a certain something that made him mysterious and finally Peter Pettigrew, neither handsome nor charming, perhaps best described as a hanger-on. Narcissa Black had been captivated by their leader, the dashing young Potter. She was proud of her heritage, proud to be in the noble house of Salazar Slytherin but there were times that she wished she was anywhere else, that way she could talk to Potter without causing an incident. She watched from afar as her cousin and Potter gallivanted around causing mayhem and chaos wishing he would stop and notice her. She was the year behind them in school but that shouldn't matter, what is one year when witches and wizards live for a hundred? She watched as Potter pursued Lilly Evans, a mudblood, undeserving of Potter's affections. Narcissa was a Slytherin she thought to herself, she was cunning and ambitious, all she needed was a plan.

Her plan was presented in a form to her parents and uncle, the head of House Black. She phrased her plan as an attempt to reunite Sirius with his family, it was known that he had run off to live with the Potters and his mother wished to disown him. Where Potter went Sirius followed, if Potter came to the Blacks then Sirius would come home. Potter's mother was a Black so their line was pure enough for her family. She had a plan, she knew if her uncle wanted his son back there was motive, with Potter's mother a Black and the Potter family having been around for quite a while they knew to respect the name Black, there was no way they would turn down an offer of marriage. Narcissa just had to play the reluctant damsel willing to do anything for family.

Narcissa thought she was brilliant, she knew she was thought to be the prettiest of the Black sisters and in her mind there was no way Potter could turn her down. In her plan she forgot one little detail. Her parents were more cunning than her, tempered by life with the cynicism age brings they saw right threw her plans. It was a little over a month after she suggested her plans that her morning Potter gazing was interrupted by a letter from home informing her of her betrothal to a Lucius Malfoy. She remembered him from her first two years of Hogwarts, the blonde ponce had cared more for his hair than she had her own, unlike her scruffy rogue he was the proper pureblood. From that moment on Narcissa Black had a sneer on her face, she sneered at her pathetic husband. The Malfoys were rich, undoubtedly so, but they were French upstarts, their blood may be pure but they had no heritage her betrothal would be the best thing to ever happen to them, it would lend them legitimacy if the Blacks were known to approve of them. That sneer never left her face as she cursed her stupidity, her husband, her son, her life in general. When she heard Potter married the mudblood straight out of school she wept but alas she was already trapped.

Lucius brought the Dark Lord into their lives, Bella was instantly awed by the man's power but Narcissa's sneer was directed at the Dark Lord, how was this the champion for blood, this thing was barely human. When she heard Potter's child had bested her Lord she was relieved until she heard her James had died. The last of the pure Potters gone, another line ended for good. How she wished young Harry was her own, though Draco was her child she and she loved him unconditionally like any parent should he was far too much like his father, too much of a reminder of what she had lost. Perhaps if he had the dark hair of the Blacks she could think of him more as Potter's, maybe then she wouldn't have left him to be raised by the house-elves and his mind ruined by his father. One can love without caring after all. The boy had Black blood in his veins yet Lucius made him some spoilt brat who lorded his Malfoy blood over all. If he was a Black he wouldn't have to tell everyone he was better, he just would be. She was better than his father, that was why Draco was an only child, an obligation she fulfilled but she had no intention of letting the blonde ponce in her bed ever again.

When she first met the Potter spawn at the quidditch world cup it was like staring at a clone of James, albeit an even scrawnier version. The eyes though, they existed to mock her, they were without a doubt captivating, she could understand why James would love those eyes but to her they were a reminder of everything that mudblood and her family took from her. The boy seemed nice enough and she could only wish Draco was that pleasant.

Her love of James Potter and her maternal affection for Draco was what led her to lie to the Dark Lord that night in the Forbidden Forest, she hoped that one day if she earned a place in the afterlife she could have her own copy of James Potter maybe then she could stop sneering and start smiling even if the Dark Lord killed her now she could die knowing she tried.