A Second Chance

"Angry, and half in love with her, and tremendously sorry, I turned away." - F. Scott Fitzgerald

His favorite book was The Great Gatsby; it had been since he first read it in high school and he had read it many times since then. It had literally changed his life. He was never the same after he read it. The inspiration he drew from the words on the page stayed with him all through his life.

In some ways he identified with Jay Gatsby, as in the fact that he too had reinvented himself. If Gatsby could do it, well then so could he, and he did. But Gatsby was a tragic hero and even though Daryl was not, they had things in common.

Daryl had grown up dirt poor in this very town, won an academic scholarship, a free ride to Georgia State University and never looked back. He went away and made something of himself.

He made a life that was better than he was given, but like Gatsby, he didn't get the girl. Instead, he felt banished to a bachelor's life, forever staring at the green light at the end of the dock and wondering what could have been. Was it envy? Most certainly, because she had married someone else.

Her name was Carol, not Daisy but that didn't matter at all, she was the one that got away. I wish I had done everything on earth with you.

He tried not to think of that quote, it made him long for things he would never have. She loved that quote and they had spent hours and hours discussing it when they were young.

Daryl didn't want to think of it.

Except when he read the book, which was usually once a year, and usually in the winter time. Then he let the words fall all over him and permeate his skin and soul. It was cathartic and gave him strength. He wasn't the weak willed kid he used to be, he was a man.

The book reminded him of her, of course. They had read it in English class together, sophomore year and it just stuck with him. The book stuck hard and fast.

Carol always sat next to him in every class they had together and standing in the door way of the classroom reminded him of her all over again.

This was the high school he went to, and now he was the American Lit teacher. His mother was sick, and Merle had called him back, and so he came. He got the job quickly and settled in well among the other teachers. He was well liked by the students and they excelled in his classes, and it was enough. It gave him purpose.

His days were spent teaching this generation the wonders of F. Scott Fitzgerald and JD Salinger with a side of Steinbeck. His nights helping his mother when she needed and walking the streets of his old neighborhood. Sometimes he would go shoot pool with Merle at the local bar or meet Rick Grimes for a beer or two. The spent time catching up, talking about old times and marveling at the fact that they were forty now.

Forty, and alone. Rick was divorced from Lori almost ten years and Daryl had never married. He compared every girl he ever met to her and no one measured up, no one ever would. They had lost touch long ago and no one around town knew where she was anymore.

But he thought about her, because of the book and because of his heart. She held it and that would never change, no fight or misunderstanding would stop it and he had regrets.

Angry and half in love with her, and tremendously sorry, I turned away.

They had fought over her decision not to follow him to Georgia Tech, but to go to The Philadelphia Art Institute. Carol went to the school that offered her a scholarship. She was a painter and the last he heard she was doing graphic layout for comic books and had married a fellow artist. He hoped she was happy.

Tremendously sorry.

Life was simpler here than it had been in Delaware, where he had finally landed after college. His home had been Wilmington, the biggest city and he taught English Lit there too. He didn't miss it though as he got older he longed for the slower pace of his old hometown and then his mother got cancer. It was a no brainer and even though she was now in remission, he stayed. The inner city wasn't for him anymore, he wasn't in the club scene, like he had been in his twenties and thirties. There was never much appeal in that life for him anyway.

A quiet life was better now. His days predictable, his nights grading student papers or spent with his mother, brother or Rick. He lived in a little house, not far from his mother's with a green porch light. He just couldn't resist that. Green was the color of envy of course, and he and Jay Gatsby knew all about that.

It was snowing that Saturday, a rarity for Georgia indeed and he walked to his corner coffee shop with the book on his arm. It snowed in Delaware often and he was used to it. He sat at the same table by the window, sipping his coffee and reading his book.

Daryl knew all of the regulars and the wait staff too, they liked him because he was a good tipper and kept to himself. He watched the snow fall and the people walking by, not many dared to brave the weather in these parts.

It was a quiet day for the coffee shop and he sat and read in contentment as people came and went brushing snow off of them.

The bell on the door jingled and he looked over as usual and caught a glimpse of red hair, curly red hair. A woman in a green dress and black boots had come in and the woman carried an artist's portfolio. His heart skipped as he stared at her back trying to catch his breath.

It couldn't be her.

Then she turned her head slightly and he knew. Before he could stop himself the words were out of his mouth. But sometimes it was best that way. To say something before the moment was lost forever. Before the person walked away, and out of your life again.

"Carol."

She turned and her eyes fell upon him. The portfolio slipped out of her hand and onto the floor. She hadn't seen him in twenty-one years, but she knew his face and he knew hers.

"Daryl." She whispered and he was out of his chair and picking up her portfolio for her. He led her back to his table, stashed her portfolio next to his briefcase.

"Come sit, what are you doing here?" He asked, pulling a chair out for her and helping her out of her coat. She had on a pretty green dress and it brought out the golden highlights in her hair. Green was his favorite color after all.

She smiled across the table at him and eyes the dog-eared book, with the blue cover. Of course he was reading that book and it warmed her chilled body. Some things never changed, and somethings changed forever, but his love of that book was a constant.

She hoped for some other things not to have changed.

"Moved here Daryl, I inherited my Aunt's home and I needed a place to live." She explained as she took off her gloves and he noticed, she did not have a wedding ring on. Her finger looked as if a wedding ring hadn't been there for a long time.

"I can't believe it's you." He said trying to contain his excitement. Had fate brought her back to him, was there a chance? The one person he never expected to ever be sitting across from him, was sitting across from him.

"What about you Daryl?" Carol asked. "I thought you wanted to get out of this town."

"I did." He looked across at her beautiful blue eyes, the ones he loved so much. "But it called me back."

And it had called her back too. Carol looked over at the falling snow, heavier now. She couldn't remember it ever snowing this way here before. It was beautiful, like the eyes of the man looking at her. Her best friend all those years ago, the first man she ever loved.

"Are you teaching? I know you always wanted to." She asked sipping her coffee.

He nodded. "At our old school, Carol, American Lit."

She didn't answer, but her face grew into a wide grin. He had always loved her smile. It warmed him on the coldest of days in the past and to see it now made him catch his breath.

"I start there Monday, I'm the new Art teacher." She said beaming then her face relaxed, then she decided to just say what was on her mind. "I was hoping to run into you. I was going to go ask Merle if you were in town or how to find you if you weren't. I saw he owns the garage on fifth street, Dixon's…"

"Fuel and tow." He laughed. But why would she be looking for him. He didn't dare hope that she had missed him. "But why?"

"Why?" She asked.

"Why were you looking for me?" He asked looking right at her, he had gotten so much better at eye contact through the years. There was a time when he couldn't look anyone in the eye, not even her. But that was a long time ago.

Now he looked right at her and she noticed it.

"Daryl. We left things so unfinished. I know we were young but I've always thought about you and hoped you were doing well."

There, it was out. She had played this conversation a million times in her head and there was none of that awkward silence that she expected.

"I've been ok." But just ok, because you weren't here.

"I wasn't, but I am now and this move came along at the best time." She said happily. "It's a new start."

That was how life was, it always gave you just what you needed exactly when you needed it. It might come to you late, but it always came and that was better than never at all.

"I'm so sorry Carol." He said softly.

"Oh, no don't be. I divorced him and it cured my depression and fibromyalgia." She giggled. Then she lifted her cup to his. "To a new start."

He grinned and lifted his cup. "I'll drink to that."