Disclaimer: I don't own MASH or its characters, nor do I own any lines borrowed here that you might recognise.

AN: Hey all, thought it was time for me to try out a different trope, though it'll probably be a little longer between updates on this one. Feedback is, once again, much appreciated. Hope you enjoy!

She was thoroughly unimpressed. There she was looking forward to her new posting and then she'd arrived to find this. It was her first overseas assignment as a Major, her first time as head nurse and this was the first that would use choppers to evacuate wounded as standard, but the shine had started coming off as soon as she'd met her CO. If he was any more relaxed he'd be going backwards. Sure, he was nice enough, but nice didn't count when you were in charge of a whole outfit and there were school classrooms with tighter discipline than the 4077. Just thinking about it made her blood come back up from a simmer to a boil again. Henry Blake was an imposter, a civilian in officer's clothes, a hack, and he had no respect for the army. She'd gone to him soon after arriving when some enlisted men had rolled their eyes when she demanded they salute her and he'd brushed her off. Margaret slammed her clothes into her foot locker with rage. She'd be damned if she wasn't going to use any of her many high ranking contacts to force some change around here. She knew she could count on the Generals to be discreet about what their relationship had been. She just loved men with power, and good rank signified everything. Margaret could only hope the rest of the surgeons would show more discipline than Henry. She'd seen two of them roll in on a jeep before, all neat and tidy in their Class A's. She'd introduce herself later.

Then she met them.

Margaret had walked into the mess tent with high hopes, only to find the blonde, curly haired one and the dark haired one with sparkly blue eyes sniggering over something. They were barely even in uniform, their fatigues weren't buttoned and they weren't even wearing their bars. Her nostrils flared in irritation; they hadn't even saluted her! Then they opened their mouths.

"Hey gorgeous", the blonde one said with his most charming smile.

Margaret sputtered, momentarily too aghast to speak, "That's Major to you!"

"Hey Majorly gorgeous", the dark haired one retorted with what could only be described as sarcastic smarm.

"Ugh!" Margaret spat. "You will refer to me as Major Houlihan or not at all!" and with that she turned on her heel and stormed off.

The dark haired one imitated her disgust before turning to his blonde friend. "Well she seems like fun"

"She didn't even ask our names" the blonde said to his friend with mock offense.

"No really, she does seem like fun. Fun to torment." The dark haired man said with a grin

Margaret later found out their names: Captains Pierce and McIntyre. She'd try and threaten Colonel Blake into doing something about him, or she'd go to one of her long list of friendly Generals. She sighed to herself. There was nothing like a powerful man in uniform.

Hawkeye was still reeling from being drafted and dumped over here; he could barely believe that he'd been forced into a war. Coincidentally his two least favourite things were being ordered around and war, so this whole situation was the limit. He was grateful that he'd met Trapper McIntyre on the way up here, because he'd since met two massive army prigs. One was Major Frank Burns, one of his new bunk mates, and Hawkeye wasn't sure that he'd ever instantly disliked anyone more. Burns was a self-righteous, blithering nitwit who gave off the impression of absolute inferiority. He was Hawkeye's new favourite target.

The other was Major Houlihan, the small, blonde hurricane he'd met the day before, but she gave off an entirely different impression. In all honestly she intrigued him somewhat because she had the potential to go either way. He'd come across her a few times since, seen her giving orders, telling people to get out of the way, but when he'd once made eye contact briefly with her he'd seen frustration and uncertainty in with the rage and determination. It was almost like she was trying to order herself into submission so she felt less out of control. She was complex. He liked a good mystery. He made a note to himself to stop thinking of her as small, too, because the only thing diminutive about her was her height relative to his. She was a complete pain, what with sticking to the regular army clown routine like glue. She could be incredibly entertaining, too. All you had to do was suggest something ludicrous or catch her off guard and she'd react spectacularly. The best so far had been when she was on a roll in OR, prowling around, ordering her nurses around and being unnecessarily harsh. "I have an announcement to make" he'd yelled, and all eyes had turned to him, "Major Houlihan and I are secretly married." Her eyes had gone wide and the tops of her cheeks had turned red and then purple before she'd managed to yell back "That's a lie!".

"You're a disgrace!" Frank was always just a bit too late in rushing to her 'defence'. He obviously liked her, but was equally obviously a spineless twerp.

"Pierce" Henry had admonished weakly, "Will you stop tormenting the Major?"

"Never!" Hawkeye shouted with false cheer and a wink.

"Pierce" Henry said, this time as a warning, but he didn't say any more.

A few days in and they have their first taste of what it truly means to be at war in Korea. An announcement comes in over the PA system calling all teams to the OR. The choppers fly in, the ambulances scream to a stop and suddenly it's like being in a sea of blood. All of the sessions before now pale in comparison. There are more bleeding people than any of them have ever seen, the choppers get people here that wouldn't have made it before. As they do triage outside the OR Hawkeye is dimly aware of a voice yelling out orders above it all. He eventually realises it's her again. He smiles slightly in spite of himself and shakes his head slightly. She never stopped giving orders; he wouldn't be surprised if she gave them in her sleep. He smirked to himself; he'd be surprised if she didn't give them during other bedroom activities.

When triage was done they made their way in to the scrub room to prepare for what was to come. When he got there Hawkeye was dismayed to find Frank Burns flirting with the blonde Major and her responding. Hawkeye felt irritation flare inside him. If there was one thing he knew it was that Frank Burns did not deserve the attentions of such a woman, or hell, any woman. "Oh Margaret" he heard Frank simper. So that's what her first name was; naturally then the next thing out of Hawkeye's mouth was "Hey, Major Blondie!"

She squawked in outraged shock as she turned her glare on him. The effect of her having already donned her mask made the effect even more glorious.

Hawkeye continued, "Can't you find someone better to flirt with than Major slime ball over there?"

She ripped her mask down in rage, "Go soak your head you pervert!"

Hawkeye made a kissy face at her which of course only turned her rage up a notch further.

Trapper, who'd seen the entire exchange, was guffawing loudly. "You're living dangerously, Hawk."

"Yeah well, so's she" He responded lamely.

Hawkeye sneered under his mask; In the OR Margaret had of course paired herself with Frank. This was suddenly starting to feel like a competition, but whether he was competing for her attentions for himself or just making sure the regular army clowns would stop teaming up together he wasn't sure. The thought of competing for her attentions startled Hawkeye slightly. It was totally ridiculous. There was no way he could make a grab for her and salute at the same time.

"Are you okay, doctor?"

"Huh? Oh yes, fine, fine". He'd keep that one to himself.

There were plenty of other nurses around willing to provide easier good times as distraction. He might try them out.