Enjoy. Edit: 10/14: Okay guys. It's officially a story. No promises if you like it because I had an idea of how I wanted it to go, then it went another way so... yeah, sorry :p More notes at the end of the chapter.
You were busy typing away at the computer, putting the finishing details in your report when you heard a hesitant knock at your at your cubical. You swiveled your chair, your eyes resting upon a stout reptilian monster, which was fiddling with her fingers, looking down nervously.
You smiled patiently, "You know Alphys, I won't finish this report if you keep bugging me." You gave her a playful wink.
"o..oh… I-I-I'm s-so sor- sorry."
"Hey, chill." You chuckled, "I'm just messing with you. What's up?"
"O-oh, r-r-right, ha-ahahaha…" She breathed, looking down. "W-well, um, I was, th-th-thinking, that, well… tonight, m-m-maybe, you could come o-over?"
You raised an eyebrow. This wasn't your first time coming over to their home, so, you didn't understand why she was being so weird about it.
"Sure, what time?"
"uh, r-r-right, um, s-s-s-seven?"
"Ok, cool. Want me to bring anything?"
"n-n-n-n-no, w-w-w-we're good." She looked over her shoulder quickly. "I have to get back to work, bye!" She turned suddenly, scurrying away. Her behavior suspicious, to say the least.
"Come, Watson, come! The game is afoot. Not a word! Into your clothes and come!" You leaned down whispering to the stuffed cow sitting at your desk, speaking with a soft British accent. With a small chuckle, you turned back to your computer screen, and resumed your task at hand.
You parked your car in front of Alphys' and Undyne's house. There were several cars parked up and down the street, and their driveway was packed. Ah, a party. Hm, but what's the occasion?
You climbed out, shut the door, and clicked the lock button on your key fob. Your boots clicked against the pavement, and you sucked in a breath of brisk cold air, bracing yourself for the people inside.
It's not that you had trouble navigating crowds. You were uncomfortable in such busy environments, and it was hard to have fun when your attention was being pulled in so many directions. It only made it more difficult when the only people you probably knew would be the hosts, and therefore too busy you contend with you, leaving you to fend for yourself.
You opened the door, current pop music becoming much louder. The lighting was dim, perfect for dancing and chilling, and you could hear people talking and laughing.
Your eyes scanned the room, searching for any familiar face. Across the room, your eyes locked with a skeleton monster, with dark eye sockets, and small pinpricks of lights, giving the appearance of where he was looking. He wore a huge grin, and you wondered briefly if it always stayed fixed like that.
You consciously smiled, and looked down and away. Man, it was always awkward whenever your eyes locked with someone. You found it caused less hostility if you smiled before looking away, given the fact that you had a few altercations in your past by not doing so. You blamed your resting bitch face.
"Hey, you made it!" You heard Undyne, then she locked her arm around your neck in a head lock and dragged you toward the kitchen.
"Dude, what the heck?" you started hitting her arm, and kicking as she dragged you away.
"C'mon nerd. You gotta hit me harder than that!" She guffawed loudly.
"Undyne, let her go." Alphys said softly.
"Oh, yeah. Ha-ha, right." She let go, and you straightened your black jacket, giving her a wary look. "So, yeah. Beer?" She said it as a question, but had already popped the cap off the beer and put it in your hands.
"Light right?" You asked taking a sip, and not bothering to read the label. Alphys nodded. "Good, cause I'm a lightweight." You paused drinking to watch their faces.
Alphys shook her head and Undyne face palmed while muttering. You chuckled to yourself, sipping your beer.
"Nerd!" Undyne hissed. "Let's introduce you to our friends! It's about time!" She yelled, punching her fist into the palm of her hand.
"Wait!" You held up your hand, and began chugging your drink. "Liquid courage." You said polishing off your beer, and tossing it into the trashcan before grabbing another, and popping the cap off.
"Actually…" Undyne paused thoughtfully. You froze. Undyne never paused thoughtfully… never… "Wanna make a bet?"
Your ears perked up. "I'm listening."
"You said that you like to flirt, right nerd?"
You nodded cautiously, "Where are you going with this?"
"How about you flirt with one guy here, and if you can get him to go on a date with you, you win." She grinned wide, almost sinisterly.
"Yeah… and?"
"Winner gets fifty bucks."
"Challenge accepted! Name the victim." You came up beside her, slinging your arm around her waist. You would've done her shoulders, but she was really tall, and you were not.
She scanned the room before chuckling. You released her, and stood beside her, turning yourself sideways to the room, to allow you to casually scout without being obvious. "Skeleton, blue hoodie." She said uncharacteristically quiet, and, you couldn't quiet place the tone in her voice, but it definitely had an air of mischief.
You blushed slightly. You hadn't actually flirted with a monster before, but you were always open to new experiences.
Your eyes slid to the right, and there you saw him, leaning against the wall, acting aloof. Ah, okay, the 'too cool' type. Or maybe too lazy… or maybe both.
"B-b-begin, w-when, you're r-r-ready." Alphys cheered standing across from you.
"Heh," You pulled out your phone, opened up google. Cheesy pick up lines.
You dropped something! What? (Points to ground) Your standards. Nope.
You look like my mom. Yeah, not that one.
You wanna know what's big? (Pause) My house weirdo. Ok… guy pick up lines won't work.
Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you everyone else disappears. Awww… nope!
(Take a photo of him) I want to show my mom what my next boyfriend looks like. Woah… just woah… like… no…
Wait.. That made you remember a pick up line you felt forever ago. Like 10 years ago, but man, it was a classic. Yes. You took a deep breath, and a big swallow of your drink.
"I'm a beast." You muttered confidently, and looked over toward the skeletal wall flower. "I'm a boss." You nodded, and started over, fighting the urge to topple over. Okay, maybe downing a beer in less than five minutes was more than you could handle. You technically weren't a lightweight… you were a featherweight.
You stopped in front of him, standing close to him but not too close to be creepy, noting that you , only an inch or so on the skeleton monster. His arms were folded across his chest, and his eyes were closed, which you thought was peculiar, given his face being a skull.
"Hey," you try to sound casual. Ha! Who are you kidding, you are casual.
He opened one eye, "hey."
"Nice hoodie. What's it made out of?" You ask, giving it a brief glance.
He opened his other eye, his smile faltering for a moment. Ah, so his smile is malleable.
"uh, cotton i guess." He shrugged. Man, he was so cool. Chill, yes, very chill.
"May I?"
His smile returned, "sure."
You gently rubbed your hand on it. "Mhmm, yes I thought so." You nodded. He quirked a brow. "This is made out of boyfriend material." Your eyes met his, a small smirk dancing on your lips.
"Tibia honest, I think you're telling a fibula." His smile grew wider, which you didn't think was possible.
Your eyes grew wide, your GABA flooded brain catching up to punderful retort. A small and delighted chuckle escaped. "Throw me a bone here." You leaned in next to where you assumed an ear would be if he had one, hand still resting on his chest. "I'll give it to you straight. Undyne made me a bet that I could get a date here, I'd win fifty bucks. Now, I don't make bets I don't win. So, help me out. You and me leave here, go grab some real food, have some bad laughs, and we both walk away 25 dollars richer."
You pulled back, trying to read his face. He gave Undyne and Alphys a side-long glance before looking back at you.
Your world was unsteady, and defiantly you took another sip of your beer. "I'll give you bit to mull it over." You wink. "I'll be the wall flower on the other side of the house." You turned to step away, when you felt his hand secure around your arm.
"hey." You kept your body still turned away, you looked at him. "i'll throw you a bone. let's go." He walked past you, still holding your arm.
YASSSS! Suck it Undyne! "Cool, so where do you want to eat?" Man, some food would be great to lessen the dizzying effect of the alcohol. You made a move to take another sip and realized your beer was empty. Two down? Hoo boy, you're in trouble.
"i know a place." You heard the skeleton shrug. "by the way, i'm sans, sans the skeleton." The sound lessened as you both stepped through the threshold of the house. "you drive?"
You fished out keys, and handed them to him. You could feel him smirking. "Yeah, yeah, light beer, light weight. I get the irony." You muttered sullenly, was it really that obvious you were inebriated?
The short answer was yes.
He opened the door to your Dodge Charger, and you crawled in like a baby bear. He helped get you seated, and closed the door, walking around the front the car. You pulled on the seat belt, and fumbled with the buckle, but it would slip out of your grasp.
You could feel him watching you, and hear amused snickers. Once he was satisfied, he leaned over, pressing himself into you, and reached for your buckle.
Your heart jumped and butterflies danced in your stomach. A small unaffected part of your brain yelled that he did that on purpose, and the drunk part of your brain said, 'well duh'. Sans was totally hitting on you… right? He snapped your buckle,
'there we go, pal. nice, and tight.'
"That's what she said," you slurred, and he laughed.
You sat across from him, and a plate of delicious burgers and fries sat, their tempting and sinful smell wafting across your senses. It wasn't your cheat day, but here you were cheating. Undyne was going to kill you, but y'know what? This date was her idea, and who could say no to a bar burger and fries.
"I know a ton of jokes." The skeleton across from you, moved so charmingly. It was as if he was trying to woo you. He would subtly touch your hand when you least expected it, and give these calculated and smoky glances at certain pauses in the conversation. "A skele-ton" He winked. You laughed.
Truthfully, the jokes were the best, but there was that ever burning attraction. And when the feeling would start to subside, he would 'casually' rub your boot with his slipper.
You knew it was on purpose because of the constant eye contact, and at one point you tucked your ankles together and he still 'brushed' it. 'oh oops'.
"I bet you could tell me a femur." You sighed, giving him a coy smile, finishing the fry in-between your fingers, then picked up the hamburger. "I missed you." You whispered to the burger.
"You serenade always your food before you eat it?"
"Only on Tuesdays." You quipped automatically. After realizing what you said you blushed. "I mean, I'm on a strict diet for health reasons and I only get two cheat meals a week, but this date makes it three, and I am not sorry." You bit the burger. It felt so good to have a mouth full of meat. That's what she said!
You choked at the sudden thought, and Sans sat up, staring alert and worried. You choked back the food, and blushed.
"you ok?"
You nodded, half tempted to tell him what you were thinking, but then you didn't want to turn this into a lewd experience. Also, how incredibly uncool is it to choke while on a date… answer, incredibly.
"i mean, i'm no skeleton worth getting choked up for." He smiled casually, giving you a wink.
Did he just berate himself?
"I'm just a bonehead." He knocked himself on the skull.
"Ha-ha, yeah. I bet it all just goes right through you." You joked cautiously.
His grin widened, "now you get it."
This wasn't funny… You understood comedy did involve some self-depreciation, but… "I don't know… I mean, you can't be a complete bonehead if you have funny bone, right?" You smiled coyly. He blinked, a small blue tinge coloring his cheeks, before resting his chin on his hand, elbow resting on the table, completely recovered.
"I have a bar joke for you." You leaned forward, licking your lips. "you interested?"
"babe, i'm always up for a good bar joke." Your eyes widened a bit at the nickname, then resumed their flirty look.
"Comic Sans, Helvetica, and Times New Romans walk into a bar. 'Get out' shouts the barman. 'We don't serve your type here!' " He grinned really big, and chuckled softly.
"i like it. i've got one for you. a rabbi, a priest, and a lutheran minister walk into a bar. the bartender looks up and says, 'is this some kind of joke?' You started cracking up, and sighed after you were finished laughing.
"I have to remember that one."
Your meal concluded, and you reached into your purse to pay for your meal when Sans held up his hand.
"s'ok, i got it. grillbz, put it on my tab!" He waved at the flaming fire elemental, dressed in a nice bartender outfit, his sleeves rolled up past his forearms. You heard Grillby crackle, while wiping a glass clean.
"Thank you very much Sans, I'll get tip then." You pulled out a twenty, laying it on the table, and exiting the booth. He raised a brow at you, obviously surprised, and followed you out.
"you usually tip so well?" You felt like it was a loaded question.
"Usually, yes." You grinned mischievously, the main effects of the alcohol from earlier abated, but there were some lingering effects. "Hip check." You bumped the skeleton with your hip, sending him stumbling. He whirled around giving you the most peculiar look. "Don't be so nosy… well.. I mean…" You started laughing, realizing he didn't have nose.
He chuckled softly, rubbing the area where a nose would be if he were human. "guess you don't need a nose to be nosy, huh?"
"Guess not," You sighed happily, noticing a smudge of ketchup on the side of Sans grin. "Hey, you got…" You pointed to your face. Sans rubbed the opposite side of his face. "No, other side." He rubbed, but missed it. "No.. it's… ah," You stepped forward, your thumb wiping the ketchup away.
That's when you realized, how close you were standing, how tense it felt being this close, that Sans was resting his hands on your lower back, staring soulfully into your eyes. His thumbs were moving up and down in a comforting and teasing motion. You swallowed, and your breath felt caught in your chest.
"hey," his eyes were half lidded, and warm breath, that tingled with magic, tickled your neck.
"Hay is for horses." You replied weakly, your hands resting on his chest. He chuckled softly. You leaned your weight into him ever so slightly, your arms slowly moving to drape over his shoulders, closing the few inches between you. You closed your eyes, leaning forward so faintly.
He met you, his face meeting your so forcefully, and demanding. You stumbled back, never breaking contact, and he picked you up easily, pushing you into your car, his hands groping you while holding you up. You let out a ragged breath, before meeting his kisses again.
You didn't quite understand how he could kiss, or how he made it feel so good, but your body was humming, some of it his magic, and some of it your hormones raging wild. Your hands raked across his skull and the back of his hoodie. You could feel his spine and ribs through his shirt, and truthfully you didn't understand how he could be so attractive, or how that turned you on, but it did, and you were.
You never had even thought of a monster romantically before, but damn, he had something about him that just drew you in, like a moth to a flame.
"Not… here…" You got out between kisses.
"your place?"
"Sure."
Yes, he was definitely a flame, and you were the moth.
You came through the front door, a tangle of human and monster, passionate kisses, while trying to work off your jacket and his hoodie. He made a move for your pants, but you 'tsked' him, waved your finger and went back to kissing.
His hands roamed, and it was peculiar, although they were bone, they didn't creep you out. They were warm, and the way the magic that coursed through his fingers felt touching your skin was addicting. They were probably the only thing you didn't stop; and explore they did, all over on your neglected body.
He fell onto the couch, bringing you with him. You straddled him, your hands exploring, curiosity, and lust pulsing through you.
He broke the kiss, leaning back smugly. "first time with a skeleton?" He couldn't help with tease. There were only two skeleton monsters, and there was no way Pap's beat him to the punch. Plus, you were just so cute how you moaned when he let his magic vibrate a little stronger.
"First monster." You were breathing heavily, wrought with desire, but holding yourself back. "I… I like the way your magic feels." You blushed, but too far in to be anything but transparent.
His grin widened. "sweetheart, you wanna see what my magic can do?" The lust and implication of what he was implying was heavy in the atmosphere between you two.
You smiled widened, and leaned in for another lengthy kiss, his hands affectionately stroking your back. You broke the kiss, your eyes dancing mischievously. "Perhaps another time." You climbed off of him, and walked toward your bedroom, pulling your shirt off.
He turned to stare at you, eyes bewildered, and smile anything but mirthful. He watched through your open bedroom door, you slide out of your pants, so teasingly, he thought, wait, she's wearing a thong? His eyes widened, and a choked grumble escaped his mouth watching you slip into some loose shorts and put on a big sweater. He let out a ragged breath, his eyes reflecting his frustration.
You walked out, giving him a playful smile. "Would you like anything? Tea? ketchup? A cold shower?"
Sans hated to admit it, but he never wanted to jump a human so bad before, and he had been through a few, but the way you stood there so casually, how toned your legs were in those short shorts, how the sweater left so much to his imagination, but remembering feeling your curves helped him to remember.
"ketchup." He found himself saying, surprised that he was still here. Since nothing was going to happen, he had no idea why he was staying.
You nodded and heading for the kitchen. He followed you, casually leaning over the bar counter, enjoying the view of you bending over. "way to deny a guy a trip to the bone-zone. ya wanna reconsider?"
You smiled, rolling your eyes, pulling the ketchup out of the fridge. You pushed it into his chest, and leaned into him again, realizing without your boots, Sans had at least a inch on you. "I don't do one night stands."
He let out a breath of frustration, and laughed bitterly. He uncapped the ketchup, and downed the contents in a matter of seconds.
You watched expectantly, and took the empty bottle from him, discarding it. "i'll take that cold shower now." That surprised you. You thought by now he would've dashed. Every other make out session you had, did.
"Um, sure. Bathroom's this way." He followed you, eye lights roaming your body. He noticed your room was messy with clothes scattered, and a empty mug sitting on your night stand. Your mattress, it appeared to be a queen size, although had clean sheets, was obviously unmade.
In the bathroom you pulled out a towel and wash cloth. "I have spare toothbrushes, incase you, I dunno, use one." You shrugged, unapologetically, pulling out an unopened one. "Do you need clothes?"
"s'ok. i'll be fine."
When he was finished, he came out in his clothes from earlier, and sat himself next to you on the couch. You were watching The Office on Netflix. You held out the controller to your PS4. "You wanna watch something else?"
"nah, this looks ok."
You nodded, and pulled your knees to your chest. He looked over, noticing a wistful expression on your face, forcing yourself to be engrossed in the show. Blue tinted his cheeks feeling like he was intruding on a private moment. He turned to watch the show and before he realized it, he had fell asleep.
When you felt yourself starting to nod off, you got off the couch, and grabbed a throw blanket, carefully tucking Sans in.
Deep inside you felt a floodgate of emotions barely being contained. You couldn't quite explain, but Sans pulled on that delicate barricade keeping these emotions back. Emotions you hadn't felt in years. Something you ached for… yearned for. You blinked back tears, and headed toward your bed. Undyne would be here in a few hours, and you were not looking forward to that.
"Hey nerd! Wake up!" You groaned, Undyne stood at the side of your bed, hands braced on her hips.
"No… can't I just skip leg day?" You whined pathetically. You didn't sleep well, emotions turbulent, and your mind restless. It had been almost 10 years since you felt like that; raging hormones and lust.
"Do you think this is a joke?" Undyne yelled, picking you up and carrying you out of the room, before setting you down in the hallway "Nyyyaaagggg, you're going to make leg day your bitch!"
"Yeah" you replied doing a tired fist pump. "Lemme grab breakfast." You shuffled into the kitchen grabbing your glass jar of pre-made overnight oats.
"So," Undyne purred, her usual pre-morning workout vigor disappearing suddenly. "I see your date is still here."
"Yeah." You agreed.
"How far did he get?"
"Second base."
"Ha! Denied yourself a visit to the bone-zone?"
"Undyne!" You whispered blushing. "It's been like two years since… I got laid. I'm not gonna just go at it with the first person willing to bend me over."
"Oh, he wasn't the first from what I hear." The fish monster snickered. "But anyway, good on my bet. Here's fifty bucks. Let's go. Those squats are going to squat themselves."
You groaned, lacing up your workout shoes. "I hate leg day." You approached Sans setting the money and a note under his phone.
Sans laid there, opening his eyes when he head the door click shut, taking in what he heard. He had no idea that you were work-out buddies with Undyne. That you knew her on a personal level. That you haven't gotten laid in two years!? The last thought really shocked him, I mean, with a body like that? It was practically untouched. He growled, sitting up and rubbing his skull with his hands. Undyne set him up.
"Hey nerd! Papyrus told me you broke up with your girlfriend. You okay?"
Sans gave her a stiff look. "what girlfriend?" He didn't have girlfriends.
"Pap said that there was this girl you had over at night-" She paused as his face gave it away. "Dude, do you only have one night stands?"
"its easier. you know me, a real lazy bone. anyway, y'know how it is with humans. the novelty of going to the bonezone with a skeleton, but i'm not boyfriend material." He wasn't upset. He wasn't seeking intimacy, and it was a matter of fact. There was more excitement… You meet, screw like animals, catch your breath and then head out. It was perfectly exciting, no strings attached He was using these women… but they wanted him to use them, just like how they were using him. It was mutual. It was normal. 'it's revolting' a voice in his mind said quietly.
Undyne had a curious glint in her eye. "How easy is it for you to sack a girl?"
Sans shrugged, knowing full well that he didn't have any difficulty getting anyone. If any girl approached him with intentions, all it took were some sweet words, bad jokes, and a little bit of magic and they would be screaming his name.
The fish monster grinned wickedly, "Wanna make a bet?" She continued hang up lighting for the party that they were going to be hosting in a few hours.
Sans looked over at her lazily, and shrugged.
"Next girl that comes on to you, bet you can't get her to the bone zone!"
"nope."
"What if I sweeten the deal. I'll pay you fifty bucks?"
"nope."
She growled, and forced herself to be composed. "I'll pay your tab at Grillby's"
"welp, what kind of skeleton would I be to let that offer pass through me? ok."
Sans looked forward, his jaw set. He noticed the paper you placed under his phone, with the fifty dollars.
Good morning Sans,
I hope you slept well.
Sorry(kind of) about not meeting your expectations :P
If you ever consider doing something more
than a tryst, hit me up. I enjoyed your
Sansational company… but seriously
p.s. I love puns if you haven't noticed
xxx-xxxx
He threw himself back on the couch and laughed.
There you have it. Let me know if you like it or not. My first published undertake fanfic. Edit 10/14 : Thanks for the reviews guys. I want to change the title of the story but I'm not sure to what. Give your suggestions, and please review. Thanks again!