Yami soshite Hikari Ch. 7 - "Junsuina Seiai"

By Shawna

"Is something wrong, Kizuna?"

Yugi was sitting with Kizuna at the table in her apartment, going over math equations. It had now been nearly a week since he had stayed the night at her house. Everything had been fine, they had been studying, when Kizuna had suddenly looked at Yugi as if seeing him for the first time and now she looked like she was about to cry. The worst part of it was that this was not the first time something just like this had occurred in the past week. Yugi could not understand what he had done to upset Kizuna so much, that just looking at him made her want to burst into tears.

Is she acting like that again? Yami said, sounding exasperated. I think she hates you, Yugi.

These words hurt Yugi, suddenly and thoroughly. She doesn't hate me, Yami! He said violently.

Oh, okay then. She cries over people she likes.

Of course, Yami knew quite well what was wrong with Kizuna, but he would obviously say nothing of this to Yugi. Meanwhile, a tear had appeared in the corner of Kizuna's eye and stuck there, and now it was glimmering like a jewel, making itself obvious. Yugi instantly felt bad, felt the need to comfort Kizuna but he did not know what to say because it seemed that he was the reason she was crying.

"Kizuna," he began weakly, rising slowly from his chair and going to her. Before he even really knew what he was going to do, he was on his knees in front of her, taking her hands.

"Kizuna, if you would just tell me what was wrong, I promise you I would do everything I could to make you feel better. I care about you, Kizuna," he stumbled a bit over these words, feeling as though he should have said he loved her, "And I want to see you happy."

For a moment, Kizuna stared down at him, and it seemed she wanted to say something to him, or even to just grab him and hold him, but then her eyes filled with water and she burst into whole-hearted tears and Yugi felt guilty and powerless to stop her apparent suffering.

Let me talk to her, Yami said, continuing in his exasperated tone. I think I know a bit more about women than you do, Yugi. I'll get her to stop crying.

Yugi allowed himself to be pushed back, to fall into the back of Yami's mind. As had become usual, Yami sealed him away entirely, not letting him see or hear what was going on. This made Yugi suspicious, it always did. After he got home he was going to ask Yami why he felt it necessary to stop Yugi from being aware of anything that took place between him, Yami, and Kizuna.

"Kizuna," Yami said firmly. "We've had this discussion before. Don't cry in front of Yugi."

Kizuna looked up at Yami with her eyes swimming. "I can't! I just look at him and I see... I see everything I've ever wanted and I just want to hold him or talk to him or something... I can't just keep him at arm's length like you want me to!"

Yami blinked and averted his gaze from Kizuna's eyes. "You have to," he said softly. "Or I'll tell him what you've been doing. I'll tell him that you've betrayed him."

Kizuna's eyes went wide, horrified. "You-You wouldn't tell him that! I know you wouldn't, because you've betrayed him, too!"

Yami started, his eyes returning to her face. "What do you mean? I haven't betrayed him."

"You have!" She choked through her fresh wave of tears. "You knew he liked me...so you took me for yourself. Selfish, selfish..." Here she broke off, unable to continue, breaking down. Yami's face was set hard, his jaw to the side. He looked angry.

"You think so, do you?" He said through clenched teeth. He rose from his place on the floor, having stayed in the position Yugi had put him in, on his knees before Kizuna. "You don't know anything about my relationship with Yugi! In fact, you really don't know anything about Yugi at all!"

Kizuna's mouth fell open and now she, too, looked angry. "I do!" She said, springing up from her chair. "I've spent a lot of time with him!"

"Not nearly as much as I have!" Yami said resolutely, knowing she could not argue with him on this point.

"That doesn't matter!" Kizuna cried. "You-You're a boy, and so is Yugi! I'm a girl, boys like girls, Yugi likes me!"

Yami laughed outright. "How naive," he said. "To think that life always works perfectly black and white like your little world has been painted."

Kizuna was nearly shaking with rage now. "It doesn't matter what you think! I knew Yugi wanted me, he went for me because I encouraged him to!"

"Because you were whoring yourself at him!" Yami said angrily. "He's young, he's easily excited. He didn't really want you, he just got overwhelmed."

Kizuna slapped Yami across the face, hard, the sound echoing in the tiny apartment. For a moment after this happened, neither of them moved and the only sound was their heavy breathing. Then, slowly, Yami turned back to face Kizuna and the next thing they both knew, their lips crashed together, their tongues warred, their hands tore at one another's clothing. Lust ran hard through Yami's veins as he pushed Kizuna back, against the kitchen counter, right in front of the sink. He lifted her easily onto the counter, her skirt already pushed up and her panties dangling from one of her ankles, and thrust into her. She screamed, beating her fists against his chest.

"No," she panted. "No, no, no." Her words came in time with his thrusts. One of her hands was around his neck, her nails dug in as usual, and the other was behind her, on the faucet, supporting her weight because she was leaning back a bit. Yami closed his eyes, knowing that the lust had already taken over him, and that he hated Kizuna, hated and loved her and wanted to break her. He could feel these same emotions coming from her, it was pounding inside of her mind: I hate him, I hate him, oh god, I hate him and I want him to fuck me senseless.

He gave her what she wanted and hated.

"Yami, why do you shut me away when you talk to Kizuna?"

It was several hours later, and Yami was sitting with Yugi in his bedroom. Yami turned to Yugi at this question, wondering what he would tell the boy.

"Because its not stuff you need to hear," he said simply.

Yugi did not seem satisfied with this answer, and rightly so. "What do you mean, why not? Kizuna is my friend, I have a right to know why she's so upset all the time. I want to know what you say to her."

"I told you, it's not stuff you need to know," Yami repeated, sounding a bit exasperated with Yugi's questioning. He sighed.

Yugi became angry in a white-hot flash. "Don't sigh like that at me! It's not your body, Yami, and I have a right to know what you do with it and what you say to the people I know! I don't want you to-"

Yami cut him off by pressing his lips to the younger boy's. Yugi's eyes went wide and then he pushed Yami back, hard.

"What's with you, Yami?" He asked, wiping the back of his hand across his mouth. "You're acting weird lately, and you keep kissing on me and I'm not encouraging you, am I? Can't you take hint?"

Now it was Yami's turn to be wide-eyed. "Wha... What do you mean?" He asked incredulously. "Don't you... Don't you want me? Don't you like it?"

"No, Yami, no!" Yugi said angrily, turning his back to Yami and laying down on his bed. "I don't like it! I'm sick of you touching me all the time, always trying to nail me. I'm not ready for that, I don't want it, and I want you to leave me alone now!"

Yugi jammed his eyes shut and Yami stood in the middle of the room, staring at Yugi's back, feeling as though he had just been dunked in ice water. Yugi had just told him that he did not want him, did not like it when he touched him. He did not like it, he did not want him.

Nothing mattered suddenly. Yami looked around the room, feeling out of place in it now. Nothing seemed right. He retreated gladly into the puzzle, into the labyrinth, needing to be alone to think. Yugi did not want him; that could not be true, could it? Perhaps Yugi was just angry at him for shutting him away, he was just angry, he did not mean all of the things that he had said. That was it, he was just angry.

"Kizuna was angry today," Yami said to himself. "And she meant everything she said to me."

Thinking of Kizuna made him feel even worse. It had felt good to have a woman, it had driven him crazy with lust, but now even those feelings were waning, and he knew that Kizuna was starting to be less affected by lust as well. One or two more times like the ones they had been having and they would be burned out of each other. He would have no release for the tension that Yugi built in him, and he would not have a way of tying Kizuna to him and making her too ashamed to touch Yugi. An image of Yugi thrusting into a spread-eagled, sweaty and moaning Kizuna filled his mind without his volition and Yami clenched his fist, bashing it into the stone wall beside him. The image would not leave him, he could see it clearly, they were in Kizuna's bed and she was wrapping her arms around Yugi and saying his name like she had never done for Yami, and Yugi was going slow and they were in perfect time with each other. Yami pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes, growling in frustration as he was unable to banish the image, but merely change it, and now he could see Kizuna and Yugi in the shower, and they were shy and awkward and Yugi was beautiful, naked and shining in the steam from the shower, but the person touching him was Kizuna, not him, Yami, but Kizuna, a girl who did not deserve the perfection and innocence that Yugi embodied. Picturing Yugi like this made the now all too familiar tension return to Yami, and he growled again, angrily, wanting nothing more than to jump on Yugi as he was lying in his bed, to take him forcefully. But of course, Yami would never do this. He loved Yugi, as bad as it was to admit that now, it was true. He loved Yugi and he wanted to make love to him, but Yugi was unwilling, he had said that he did not want Yami.

Yami took his hands off his face and left the puzzle. He approached Yugi, now asleep, slowly, and placed his hand on his forehead. How he wanted that face below him, wanted those lips to lovingly form his name. But that would not happen.

Yami took control of their body and locked the still sleeping Yugi in the puzzle. He was tense now, all his nerves on end, and decided to go to Kizuna's. He would give her another hard fucking and then he would be able to sleep.

The hard fucking made Kizuna tired, but Yami was awake for the rest of the night, worrying that the images that plagued him for not his imagination, but actually the future.

*To Be Continued*