This is a Romanogers story that was made for godgirl13. If anyone else would like to send me a request for a one-shot or one-shots or a story then please go ahead and post it in the reviews or PM me. Thank you and please enjoy!
Natasha POV
I was sitting peacefully in the small, abandoned apartment that I was hiding in, hiding because I was unsure about returning to the Avengers, whether it was the right decision for me. The apartment was nothing special, but it was clean and undisturbed. Well...undisturbed until Steve came bursting through the door.
I hadn't seen him in about three weeks, ever since the battle happened. I hated for lying to Steve about what side I was really on, but I had to find out what Stark's play was and stop them both from killing each other. Bucky didn't deserve to be hurt. He was Steve's friend and was brainwashed by HYDRA. I had a similar experience, so, to be honest, I didn't blame him at all for any of his killings
It didn't matter now. The accords had been abolished and everyone was living back at the Avengers Tower. It had gone back to the way it used to be with the exception of me not being there. I needed some time to breathe and think about what had happened. I wasn't helping myself by buying a newspaper everyday, because the Avengers were all that was published. I saw Steve's face in one image, a photo of him and Tony together, hands clapped on each other's shoulders like nothing had changed. Maybe I wasn't that important to him in the first place?
My mind went back to when I met him in the church. I opened the church door and walked towards him, trying not to run up to him and bury him in my arms from the sad expression on his face.
"When I came out of the ice, I thought everyone I had known was gone. When I found out she was alive, I was just lucky to have her." he said, sounding the most fragile that I had seen him since Bucky's return in DC. I felt so sorry for Steve. I knew that he loved her in 1945, but I also knew that he had moved on, dating a couple of people over the years, mainly one's that I had set him up with. He always told me that they weren't right for him, which made me wonder what kind of person he was interested in. Would I be his type?
As soon as we were assigned missions together as partners, Clint going home to see his family most of the time, I kept my distance by constantly setting him up with people. I didn't want to be compromised. I liked Steve, perhaps more than I should've, but he would never be interested in a girl like me.
"She had your back too." I replied, smiling at him, but he was too busy looking at the floor, thoughts flowing through his head.
"Who else signed it?" For a moment, I actually forgot about the accords, but then remembered how much he must hate me for agreeing with Stark, not that I actually did. I had to play both sides and I desperately wanted to tell him my plan, but for it to work, no one had to know.
I explained to him about who was signing it, watching him closely to find any signs that he still thought I was his friend. "I'm off to Vienna for the signing of the Accords. There is plenty of room on the jet." I told him, hoping that he would come with me. He looked back at the ground, sighing, and every time he did it, he was slipping further and further away from me. I told myself it was a good thing, fooling him into thinking I was on Stark's side, but my mind was begging me to tell him the truth. Steve didn't deserve more lies from me...but I had to lie...to keep him safe. I slowly stepped closer towards him, his blue eyes finally taking notice and locking with mine. "Just because it's the path of least resistance doesn't mean it's the wrong path."
I was lying through my teeth. I had to convince him that I was on Stark's team, so my plan would work if things got too rough. I was itching to comfort him more, to hold him in my arms and make all of his worries disappear. "Staying together is more important that how we stay together."
"What have we given up to do it?" he asked. I desperately wanted to scream in his face that I was on his side, but took a breath and stopped myself. "I'm sorry, Nat. I can't sign it." Part of me was relieved, knowing that he was secretly fighting on the good side, but then I knew he would never think of me in the same way again.
"I know." I told him, honestly, knowing that he wouldn't have changed his mind, no matter who persuaded him. I smiled at him, pretending to look disappointed that he wasn't coming with me. He needed to fight for the Avengers freedom.
He stared at me for a few seconds, my heart beating faster the longer he did, and asked "Well, what are you doing here?" I took a moment to compose myself before answering his question with the only bit of honesty that this conversation possessed.
"I didn't want you to be alone." I admitted, my words coming out in much more of a blur than I intended them to be. He stared at me, face blank, but I could always read emotions better than anyone. His eyes were beginning to form tears on their surfaces and I reached forward, wrapping my arms around him in a tight hug, stroking his back. His hands touched my back and I had to stop myself from smiling at how good it felt. He buried his face into my shoulder, the breaths on my neck not helping me to calm down. I eventually had to let go, walking out with him to our cars and then parting ways.
I missed him, immensely, which added to the list of reasons of why I needed to stay away. Unfortunately, he was the one sent to recruit me to rejoin the Avengers. I was lying on the sofa, dressed in a tank top and shorts, when I heard a knock at my door. I immediately grabbed the gun underneath my sofa, pointing it as I quickly walked up to the door and looked through the peephole. However, I hadn't used it before and only now realised that it was smudged, which meant I could only recognise the outline of the person outside. I could tell is that it was one person, male, but I couldn't make out any other features.
I placed my hand on the door handle and threw open the door, grabbing the person's arm and pulling them into the room, shoving the tip of the pistol up against their throat. I ran my eyes of the person's features, continually going back to their eyes, the colour different to any other.
"Steve…" I whispered, the words almost getting caught in my throat. How could he be here? I could've sworn no one had seen me over the five days that I had been away. I kept the gun targeted on his throat as I shut the door with my foot, unsure whether to trust him or not.
"Nat, are you okay?" he asked and I looked at him, confused. He had come here to ask me if I was okay. Not 'Nat, take the gun away from my neck' or 'Why the hell did you leave Nat?', but 'Nat, are you okay?'. I couldn't understand Rogers sometimes.
"I'm…" I struggled to find a word. Thinking about it, I wasn't okay. I was lonely, but then not wanting to be around anyone, my feelings being ridiculously contradictory. It irritated the hell out of me, but he wouldn't want to hear all that. "...coping…" I supplied simply and withdrew the gun from his neck, knowing that he wouldn't be here as a threat if he was asking how I was. Rogers was a guy who got straight down to business - no lies. The complete opposite of me. I was confused why we got along so well.
He looked around the room, his eyes scanning over the place that I had been living in. "Nat...please come home. This place looks like a pigsty." It wasn't like the luxury of the Avengers Tower at all. The water didn't work, no electricity, but I made do. It wasn't the worst place that I had stayed in, so I was at peace.
"I don't have a home." I told him stoically, walking over to my couch and sitting on it, turning away from him. I was extremely indecisive about going back to the Avengers, torn between giving back into emotion and staying as the real Black Widow.
"I think you're wrong." he said, walking past and sitting next to me on the sofa. He faced me, casually putting his arm up against the back of it, which gave me a perfect view of his sculpted body. I had to force myself to not stare and keep my concentration on his face. "You have a place with us."
"I'm don't know whether going back to the Avengers in the best thing for me." I shrugged and sighed. "I can't decide."
He pulled his lips into a straight line and looked directly into my eyes, capturing me in his gaze. "Well until then...you have a place with me."
His words made me gasp quietly and I cursed myself for doing so, knowing that his super hearing would pick it up easily. It wasn't that I didn't care about Rogers, it was that I cared too much. I wasn't sure whether I meant that much to him. He never made a move on me, so I guessed not. When we were undercover and I kissed him, he did kiss me back, but it was purely for effect. Just for effect. "I don't want to go back…" I told him honestly, needing another day to relax before going back to the Avenger life. "I'll be there tomorrow."
He nodded and hesitated to get up, deciding to stay on the couch and ask "Do you want me to stay here?" His cheeks were slightly flushed and he had a nervous look in his eyes. "I don't mind...I just...I thought you might be lonely." No matter how much I retained my persona, Steve would always see through it. It wasn't clear whether he knew I liked him or not, but I guessed not as he hadn't done anything about it.
I nodded and stood up. "I'll make you up a bed." He smiled softly and thanked me, offering to help me set up his bed. I let him, knowing that he wouldn't take now for an answer.
After setting up his bed, we had dinner, which was only a sandwich, because there was no electricity in the house. He slept on a bed next to mine, no room anywhere else to put a couple of sheets down in the form of a bed. I was lying down, eyes locked on the ceiling as I heard Steve's breaths from beside me. I analysed his breathing pattern and discovered that he also wasn't asleep yet. "Steve?" I called, hoping that he wouldn't mind talking to me this late.
"Yeah?" he replied. I heard him shuffle and I turned my body to face his, to find out that he had done the same. Our faces were about a metre apart, but I felt so close to him.
"Do you forgive me for pretending to be on Stark's side?" It was something that had been bothering me the whole night, him too probably. I needed to know that I was forgiven. He frowned at me and I panicked that I had said the wrong thing. Of course he hadn't forgiven me...I probably made him hate me. My heart rate rose in my chest and my breathing was becoming more and more laboured.
"Why wouldn't I forgive you?" he asked. I stared at him, confused by his reaction. I thought he would be angry. "You were on my side and I knew you were doing the right thing." he said, reaching out his hand to touch my one that was laying on top of the covers. My body flinched at the feeling and I had to stop myself from hugging him again like I did after the funeral. Steve's touch made me feel like an addict really - I always wanted more of it. Maybe it was the righteousness surging through his veins that made me want to be a good person?
"I'm glad you've forgiven me." I said, feeling a tear make it's way down my cheek. I didn't even realise it had until I felt Steve's soft finger brush it away. He shuffled closer and put his arms around me, telling me that it was okay. At first I was worried, being that close to someone was something I hadn't done in a long time, but after a few seconds I relaxed into his hold, actually enjoying it.
"Don't worry about it. Of course I forgive you." he said and placed a small kiss into my hair as I lay on his chest, my arms tightly weaved around his hips. It was like I was resting against a really comfortable rock of muscle. The only reason why I dismissed the urge to question the kiss on the forehead was because I was so tired. We stayed like that, me crying into his chest as he stroked my hair gently and ran his hands soothingly up and down my back. It kept me awake for a while, the feeling of his fingers on me distracting my brain from sleep, but, after a while, I felt myself getting more and more tired. Soon enough, I was asleep in his arms.
We didn't speak of that night ever again after that. I woke up, sneakily got out of his arms and went to the kitchen without a second thought, focusing on making some breakfast, which was only some bread and butter. I noticed my reflection and saw that my hair was ruffled from sleep and eyes were puffy from tears. Attractive look, Romanoff I thought to myself, moving away from the image of myself. When Steve woke up, we both completely ignored the fact that we have slept together last night...not in that way, but imagine if that did ha-STOP IT!
2 weeks later
I woke up, opening my eye lids as I blinked awake at the usual time of 4:45. I was in the Avengers Tower. I had to tell myself that every time I woke up, because I wasn't quite used to it yet, even after spending the past year there. I preferred it in New York where you were high up above the city and people seemed so far away. It was selfish, but I liked the Avengers in their little group. The new, smaller version of the tower felt more confined and it made me feel uncomfortable. If you didn't come out for a few days, people would notice, but Steve would notice much quicker than everyone else. Steve would always check if I was okay and, to be honest, I was more than happy with him checking up one me. But he only did that during the day or before I went to sleep if I hadn't left.
Ever since I became an Avenger, we met up every morning at 5. Without fail. I found it quite sweet that he was a voice I could always talk to, knowing that no one else would be awake. Well...apart from Vision, but he was always in his room until about 6am. He was so comforting and I stopped myself at the door each morning, wondering whether it would be a good idea to see him as my feelings were...strong towards him in a way that I didn't think he realised. But I always ended up going to the kitchen, no matter how much the back of my mind protested.
Even though 4:45 seemed early to a lot of people for me it was usual. In the Red Room, they would let us sleep at 9 and wake up at 4 to get as much training in each day as we could. Over the years, the time went from 4 to 4:30 and slowly edged it's way to 5am, but when I woke from a nightmare at 4:45 and accidentally bumped into Steve at 5, my body ended up waking up at 4:45 every morning after that. I guess it knew what I needed. I needed Steve.
"Hey." I said, walking into the kitchen. Steve's eyes drew up to meet mine and the look drew me closer to him, forcing me to sit in the empty chair that was waiting for me as it did every morning at 5. He slid me over the usual coffee that he made me as he took a sip of his own. Sometimes we had nightmares, but sometimes we just couldn't sleep, but it was still every single morning without fail. It was one small thing that the both of us shared. I thought that it was the same as any other, but I soon found out later that day that it wasn't. He smiled peacefully at me and replied.
"Hi Tasha." The nickname played havoc with my insides, butterflies floating around in my stomach, making me squirm in my seat. It wasn't that same as when Clint or Tony or Thor said it. He had a certain softness to his voice that made my knees weak and my lungs feel deprived of oxygen.
"What's the plan for today? Gym? Recruit training?" People who worked with the Avengers planned timetables every day, changing our schedules daily for when they suited us. He gave me a smile that I recognised as nervous and scratched the back of his neck.
"About that...um…" His eyes fell to where his hands were folded in his lap. I furrowed my eyebrows at his confusing reaction. What was his plan? "I was wondering whether you wanted to go out for lunch with me?" he asked, blurting out the words in one big rush that made me go back over them. Go out? For lunch? With Steve? Was he...asking me out on a date? I couldn't really tell.
Steve was a kind man, the kindest, who would do anything for his team mates, including going out with them socially, but never alone with someone I had noticed, unless it was Sam. I was an exception it seemed. Was I somehow special? I couldn't see how I was. Perhaps I was thinking too much into it. I bit my lip in an attempt to refocus myself, but it made his gaze flutter to my lips, which made me more turned on than I already was. I felt so hopeless. He looked back up at my eyes, but the tension didn't budge, a silence that was comfortable, yet uncomfortable, surrounding us. I felt...confused, but I had one thing clear in my mind. I wanted to go to lunch with Steve.
"Sure." I said, breaking the silence that could've been somewhere between two seconds and two minutes, but the worried expression on Steve's face suggested that it was somewhere closer to two minutes. As soon as I answered, his face changed from surprised to a small amount of happiness that he tried to fight down, but his smile was practically beaming.
"Great. Er...should I meet you here at 1?" he asked, a small blush took over his features. I felt like I couldn't talk. My face felt as if it were on fire, the blood pumping round my body at an extraordinary rate. I could see that Steve was feeling nervous, his hands twitching together in their grip, which made me feel a little more comfort.
"Sounds…" I tried to think of a word, but all I could think of was fantastic. It seemed a bit too eager of a word seeing as I was unsure as to whether it was a date or not. "Good." I added quickly, hoping that he didn't notice the gap I put between the two words.
He smiled at me again, a smile that nearly reached those old eyes of his. They were so beautifully blue. I often found myself getting lost in them during briefing talks with the Avengers, losing my concentration as soon as I did. I always have to ask Clint about the parts of the discussions I had missed. Hawkeye had found out two months ago, his attentive eye picking up on the attention I had been showing Steve without me even realising it. 'Dilated pupils' and 'an arm going closer to him each time he's near' where the two things that Clint noticed first, not even aware of my actions. Hill and Laura knew too, only because Clint begged me to tell them. Apparently the stress of keeping the secret was too much for him...like it wasn't too much for me!
"Apart from that, I'm going to go to the gym and train the recruits at three o'clock. Besides that, I'm free." he said, hopping out of his chair when the toaster beeped to signify it was ready. A huge benefit of being back in the tower was the food. Being on the run didn't exactly give me chance to make 5 star meals. I saw Steve get out the peanut butter and spread it across his toast like he always did. I wrinkled my nose in disgust at the sight, not liking peanut butter very much. As I thought about it, I never did ask Steve why he loved it so much.
"Steve?"
"Hmm?" he asked, taking a bit out of the toast.
"Why do you have peanut butter every morning with your toast? Why not change it?" I asked and he stared at the toast for a few seconds. I could nearly see the memories playing over his eyes and wondered whether it was a wise decision to ask or not, my mind easing when he answered.
"My mother used to make it for me every morning. We used to sit in the kitchen and read the newspaper together as we waited for dad to get up." he said, smiling to himself. He chuckled and shook his head, angling it at me. "He always slept in, every morning, nearly getting sacked endless times, but his work never fired him - he was a special guy." His eyes glassed over for a second before returning to their usual warmth.
"Tell me more about them…" I said, admitting to myself that I sounded mystified at Steve revealing what his family was like. He went over details that I already knew, but I didn't mind. I could tell that he was lost in his memories, so I never interrupted him, just took in the new information that he told me. His mother and father shared the same favourite colour of red, whereas Bucky preferred the colour of green. I already knew Steve's favourite colour was blue and the longer I looked at his eyes, the more it became my favourite colour too.
We stopped talking about his memories when Clint came into the room, saying good morning to us as he wiggled his eyebrows at me behind Cap's back. I gave him a look that screamed twenty different death threats and he smirked at me, turning around to find his coffee. Clint had to have a cup of coffee every hour to stop himself getting grumpy, which often made missions with him a nightmare, though we never usually got missions anymore. Clint was spending more time with his family, which I didn't mind, but I still missed him. It made me appreciate the moments of his company.
"So, what happened with you and Cap?" he asked, making me mentally take back the statement about appreciating his company.
"Nothing." I said, shrugging though I smiled at Clint, a suspicious eyebrow cocking on his face.
"Bullshit, Widow. I came into the room and you suddenly stopped talking, so spill." he said, bringing his drink up to his lips and taking a sip. Forgetting that it was boiling hot, he turned and quickly spluttered his coffee back into the sink. I laughed as he choked on his drink, filling up a glass of water to cool his tongue. He sadly looked down at the coffee in the sink, a upset pout growing on his lips. "Such a waste." he muttered and came back to sit next to me, setting his coffee and water down on the table. "Will you tell me about you and Steve now?"
"Fine." I said, knowing that he would get the information out of me later. Also, I completed trusted him, knowing that he wouldn't go blabbing to anyone else about my updated relationship with Captain Rogers, though I was unsure whether it really was updated or not. "He...asked me out for lunch."
I tried to refrain from smiling as a large grin sprouted on Clint's face, his eyes filling with excitement. "You're going on a date with him!?" he asked, a little higher than his usual tone and with more volume. I went wide eyed and immediately clamped my palm over his mouth, hushing him as I placed a finger over my lips.
"Do you want to wake up the facility?" I whisper-shouted. I didn't want anything to be said too loudly, not wanting people to hear what we were talking about, but it was more to do with the fact that it was five o'clock in the morning.
As I pulled my hand away from his mouth, I realised that the grin still hadn't left Clint's face. "You're going on a date with Captain America?" he asked, for the second time, and I appreciated the lower volume he used. "I can't believe this."
"I don't even know if it is a date." I said, sulkily putting my head on the table. I felt Clint place his hand on my shoulder and I pulled my head up to look at him, his lips in a smaller smile than before and it felt like he was going to give me a serious talk.
"Listen…" he began. Here we go - serious talk. "Steve only has eyes for you. You are completely and utterly mad if you don't realise that. You don't see the way he looks at you when you aren't looking. He looks at you like you're the only person on the planet, the same way I look at Laura."
As soon as the words 'Laura' left his lips, I thought about the children that I couldn't bear, the family I couldn't give Steve. Of course, I wasn't thinking that we would ever get that serious yet, but it still played at the forefront of my mind. "I can't…" I said, looking up at Clint for help to finish my sentence, but he didn't seem to have an idea of where I was going with the sentence. "I can't have ch..children, remember?" At that, Clint's face dropped all traces of happiness, a sympathetic expression morphing on his face. "He'll want that at some point. What's the point in dating him now when I will just have to dump him later?" I don't think I could deal with breaking Steve's heart.
"He won't care about that and you know that he won't." Part of me did believe Clint, Steve was a nice guy and would probably see reason, caring too much about his partner to worry about not having children with them. But I couldn't be sure.
"What if it does matter to him?" I asked Clint, hoping that his relationship with Laura would give him some insight into this.
He sighed and his small smile returned to his face. "See how the date goes, if he makes a move, you can tell him, but if you think it's too early, then tell him when things start to get serious. Does that sound like a plan?"
12:58 that day (Approximately seven hours later)
I was waiting in my room, dressed in black jeans and a grey, short sleeved casual shirt that didn't really show off any curves. Steve knew what I looked like and I didn't want to draw any attention to myself, grabbing a baseball cap to hide my hair in. I slipped my phone and money into my back jean pockets and observed my make-up free face in the mirror, deciding that no make-up was the route for least disaster on the date...I mean on the lunch...out….thing….that may or may not be a date. Who knew?
I looked like my normal self as I usually didn't wear make-up around the tower. I had swapped my training gear for some casual clothes, deciding that it probably wasn't a good idea to go out to lunch wearing a sports bra and shorts, whether it was a date or not. I heard the elevator doors open from outside the room and someone call my name.
I was pleasantly unsurprised to see Steve standing there, also dressed in casual clothes, smiling at me as he drunk in my appearance. "You look gorgeous." he said firmly, sounding more confident than I thought he would. I always expected Steve to be rubbish at that kind of thing, the kiss I gave him while we were on the escalator making him more nervous than I had ever seen him. I met his blue, peaceful eyes as my heart beat faster and faster, feeling overwhelmed with the simple compliment.
"Thanks." I replied as my brain accepted that this was indeed a date. We took to lift down to the car park, mindless babble filling the silence. I felt nervous as we talked, worrying that we were going to run out of conversation, though me and Steve never usually did. There was always something to talk about when you were an Avenger.
We arrived at the restaurant, an old burger diner that he said used to be open when he was a child. "It used to have a different name this place." he said, observing it all, smiling to himself as he thought back to the 40's. I started reading over the menus, happy that they didn't charge you extra for cheesy chips when you had it added with your burger.
"What was it?" I asked, trying to stop myself from asking what I wanted to. 'Do you like me as more than a friend?' or 'Do you think about me in ways that you think you shouldn't?' or 'Do you want me to be your girlfriend?' were just a few of the various examples.
"Bertie's Burgers." he said, his eyes flitting round the room with such pride. The name rang a bell and I soon remembered why. "My dad used to take me here-"
"One sunday of each month." I finished, nodding. His attention drew to me instantly and the confused expression across his face was so cute. I wanted to wrap my arms tightly around him and squeeze him tightly, but that was inappropriate. I wanted to touch his skin, but that was inappropriate. I wanted to kiss his lips that I imagined being so soft, but that was totally inappropriate. The question 'Do you like me?' was so simple to ask, but I couldn't find the courage to. The thought of rejection felt too heartbreaking.
"How do you know that?" he asked, curiously. I almost laughed at him, settling for an amused smirk in the end.
"I do listen to when you talk you know." I smiled and picked up my strawberry smoothies, slurping some more of it down before placing it back on the table. I looked up and saw that Steve was still staring at me, a small smile gracing his face. I felt myself blush under his watching gaze. I tried to stop the smile that was itching itself onto my face take over, my teeth threatening to show, but I couldn't help myself. His smile was infectious, in a good way.
"Do I really talk a lot? I'm s-sorry if I do…I mean if I have in the past..." he said, flustered as he spoke. He was apologising for talking too much? I rolled my eyes and played with the layer of froth that was sitting on the top of my drink.
"I welcome your little talks. They...always manage to make...make me smile…" I admitted sheepishly, keeping my eyes on my drink, rather than him. His look seemed to be too much for me to handle at the moment. If I kept my eyes on him for too long, I knew I would ruin our friendship by running into it too soon. I wanted to let him make the first move.
"Steve!" someone said from beside the booth we were sitting. A man, I guessed 43 years of age, was standing there with a pad in one hand, a pen in the other.
"Gregory." Steve greeted with a smile. It was obvious that Steve knew the waiter and didn't see him as a threat, so I removed my hand from where it was hovering over the knife hidden in the top of my jeans. 'Gregory' glanced over at me and raised an eyebrow quizzically, a small smile on his face.
"Are you going to introduce me to your friend?" he asked, Steve laughing lightly at his question, why I did not know.
"Greg, this lady here is one Natasha Romanoff." Steve said, with a glint in his eyes. Gregory's eyebrow went up in recognition and he smiled, offering his hand to me.
"The famous Natasha Romanoff…" he said as I shook his hand back. I glared suspiciously over at Steve in an expression that asked 'What have you told him?' Steve shrugged, but his mischievous smile told me that he said much more than either of them were going to admit. "It's a pleasure."
"Really? I wonder what Steve has said…" I replied, looking back at Gregory as our hands disjointed.
"Nothing bad I assure you." he said, flicking his eyes to Steve in a look I couldn't see from where I was sitting, but whatever the look meant made a red blush start on Steve's face. It made me seriously wonder what they had talked about. "Anyway," he said, changing into a more vibrant mood. "What would you like?"
"I'll just take my usual please." he said and I now knew why Steve didn't need a menu. He was a regular, someone that all the people in the restaurant must've known. Steve was one of those guys that everybody knows and everybody likes. I didn't envy him, but I noticed how different we were in that respect.
"And for you, miss?" he asked, directing himself at me once he had asked Steve, not needing to write it down. I guessed that he would just remember the man's order. I glanced at the menu for a second and decided.
"The Captain America Special with cheesy chips please." I said, making sure to be polite to the man.
"And to drink?"
"Hmm…" I said, looking over the choices. "What's the Black Widow drink?" I asked, trying to keep my face straight as I saw Steve sniggering to himself after I asked. I had to find out.
"It has a blackberry type flavour and is mixed with blackberries and alcohol, which shouldn't work, but strangely does." he said, smiling back at me.
"I think I'll have to try that then." I replied, placing the menu back in it's holder as he finished writing down the order.
"Fantastic. It should be ready in ten minutes." he said and left us to it, not before smiling at Steve before he scurried into the kitchen to deliver the order. They was very busy, so much so that almost every seat was taken up, and I couldn't imagine it actually arriving in ten minutes later, but it did, being there forty seconds before even. I learned how to count in my head as a child in the Red Room. It was a useful skill and it meant you didn't have to bother with stop watches. People usually assumed it would be distracting, at the forefront of your mind, but it hardly bothered me, going off in the back of my mind without me taking much notice to it.
The burger was huge and, even though I had a small stomach, it took a lot to make me full. I smiled when I smelled the drink, the wonderful scent of blackberry filling my nostrils. I took my straw, sipped a small amount and hummed in appreciation when I felt it's soft sting on my tongue. The alcohol blending with the blackberry was an unusual combination, but perfect. I closed my eyes, letting the sensation wash over me, and then opened them watching Steve as he lifted his burger to his lips and took a large bite out of it. It was only then that I noticed he had two large burgers rather than one. I didn't question it, the super soldier serum answering my queries for me. I hadn't even looked down at my burger yet, immediately getting distracted by the drink when it was placed in front of me, but when I did, I saw that the bun beautifully polished and the burger looked so scrumptious it made my mouth water.
I picked it up, taking care not to spill the juice over me as I leaned over the plate, and took a bite. I had never been so glad that someone had invited me out to lunch, because I never knew it could be that delicious. I swallowed the bite I took and looked up at Steve who was already half way through the first one and had finished half of his drink. "This is the best burger I've ever had." I told him taking another bite joyfully.
Steve stared at me for a moment, his eyes glancing over the features of my face as his lips pulled up into a smile that I couldn't describe in any other word than content. "I'm glad." he said and for a second it was quiet, complete silence. It felt like no one else in the room was talking, because he was only concerned for me. He always put me first, wanting to make me happy, and I felt tears form in my eyes at that very thought. Steve had always fought for my happiness and I had never repaid him.
"Tasha, you okay?" He frowned at me and shuffled to my side, putting his arm around my shoulder, igniting fireworks up my arms as I kept my tears in my eyes.
"Yeah." I whispered to him quietly, resting my head on his shoulder as a tear slid down my face in betrayal. "I just…"
"Do you want to leave or…" he said. I could hear the obvious disappointment in his voice and I suddenly dismissed that idea from his mind, placing my hand on his shoulder. I mainly did it to keep me from falling off the chair and onto the ground more than anything, but I selfishly wanted the comfort of feeling his body too. He slipped his arm round my waist to hold me closer and I there was no longer the risk of falling on the floor. I just wanted him close.
"No, don't leave...you just…" I took in a big breath as I composed myself, preparing to admit how I truly felt. "You make me happy."
Alarm bells were going off in my head as I realised that I had admitted my affection for him, wishing that I could've taken the information back, weave it out of his mind. Perhaps I could ask Wanda for a favour and she could make him forget the traces of those words being spoken. The hands on his shoulder was like a clamp, pushing down against the shirt that the soldier was wearing. I was frozen in his arms, not wanting to accept that I liked him...a lot. I kept my face buried in his chest as I tried to tune in to how he was feeling. His arms were a little tighter around me once I spoke and I immediately worried that I had said something that would ruin us.
"You make me happy too..." he whispered, sliding his hand up my arm and slithering his fingers delicately into my hair, a sigh coming from my lips as he did. I could've stayed like that forever, but...unfortunately it didn't last. We stayed together, wrapped in each other's embrace until the food came. Our eyes were both shut, locked in our own little worlds. The waiter's coughing brought our attention to him and we looked at each other, blushing. We moved away from each other like a fire burned between us. I made a small patch of tears across the top of his shirt and cringed at the sight. As we ate, it made me sad that we had been so close only moments ago to be torn apart like that. I pushed past it, trying to maintain a conversation that stopped me from thinking about us...which was difficult seeing as the distraction of my thoughts was the person I was talking to. Very problematic.
Steve excused himself to go to the toilet and I sneakily payed Gregory, knowing that Steve would insist on it. I handed over my card and he placed it in the machine, smiling up at me briefly. "You must be very special to him, Miss."
I raised an eyebrow at the man. "How come?"
I typed my number into the machine and looked up at the man, a mischievous smirk on his face as he took the card machine back. "The whole five years that he's come in here..." he said, looking around lovingly at his restaurant. It seemed to be his life. His eyes went back to me and I saw the amusement glow in them. "He has never brought anyone." He nodded his head. "Until next time, Miss Romanoff." he said, bowing his head and leaving me with those thoughts.
I looked at the door that Gregory left through, replaying the words in my head. "Never brought anyone..." I whispered to myself, staring intently at the door, so intently that I missed Steve's return, surprised when I heard his soft voice asking if I was ready to leave.
Turning to him, I smiled, putting Gregory's comment aside for now. "Sure."
2 weeks later
"So what are we going to do about this, huh?" Maria asked me, cocking her head to the side as I looked up at her. We were staying at Barton's for a couple of days. We missed him a lot, especially me. He brought me into S.H.I.E.L.D, changed my life...I wouldn't be me without him. This was our first night here and we had one more to go.
"Do about what?" I asked her, looking round at the girls who had an excitement about them all.
"You know, you and Steve? What are we going to do about it?" Maria asked again. All the girls had their heads turned to me, eyes so eager for answers that they practically bulged out of their heads. We decided to have a girl's night in mine and Maria's room, a choice I was quickly regretting. All four of us took up the entirety of my bed, it being a very tight squeeze indeed.
"There's nothing to it." I replied sharply, looking back down at the book that I was trying to read. I couldn't keep track of the opening, I had forgotten the name of the book itself and I was only five pages in, even though it had been an hour.
"Oh give over!" Pepper scolded, chucking and hitting me with the paper she had finished reading earlier. I glared at her and she gave a glare back, her glare obviously not being as good as mine. "I've been watching you two for the past week. Don't tell me there isn't anything going on behind closed doors."
"Yeah, after what happened at the diner place, I thought you two would've been up to something..." Laura said, looking at me with a smile as she wiggled her eyebrows.
"You three. Honestly." I sighed, rolling my eyes, but they kept talking.
"Aren't you going to do something about it though?" Pepper asked and I noted the serious tone in her voice. She wanted answers. They all did. To be honest, it was my duty to give them the truth. I pushed my book together and chucked it on the side, knowing that I wasn't going to finish it any time soon. I faced them and breathed out before telling them that we still met up every morning, but he hadn't said anything about it.
"You have to make the first move with him, I think. Anyone else agree?" Maria asked and I saw Pepper and Laura nod.
"See that's what I would think, but he was the one who made the first move and asked me out to dinner with him, taking me to a diner that only Steve has taken one other person to, that person being me." I explained, causing them to 'awww'. Not the reaction I wanted, but it did make my heart flutter a little.
"Yeah..." Laura said, contemplating the idea. "He is very old fashioned after all. You don't want to make him feel bad for not asking you first."
"Oh stop it." Pepper replied, lightly laughing to show that she wasn't actually angry at Laura. "This is the twenty first century. He's been here for five years, so he should be fine with the idea of you asking him to date you."
Laura shrugged and smiled. "The woman does have a point." I nodded and pouted, thinking about the idea in my head. Surely he wouldn't say no? He asked me to the diner, not the other way around. I told myself to go with it and ask him out if he felt like it.
The next day
"Aunty Nat?" A quiet, sweet voice came from behind me that I knew was Barton's daughter. She was so beautiful and funny that I wanted to take her home to the tower with me as a reminder of Clint. She seemed much neater than Clint. I had no idea how Laura put up with him.
"Yes love?" I asked, turning round to face her and crouching down. I was in a white leotard and small tutu, a pair of pink ballet shoes on my feet. I felt more comfortable in a dance uniform than my Widow costume or my casual clothes. It was a way for me to be free.
"Can you teach me something?" she asked, shyly, her hands knotting together in front of her. I looked around the empty room and wooden floors, knowing that she was sensible and old enough not to do anything stupid. She had never seen my angry side, but she was the type of child that would really analyse people, which is why I knew she realised I had one and never crossed the line with me. She reminded me of a younger version of myself.
"I'll teach you a few steps before your tea, okay?" I asked and she nodded, happily, hugging my leg. I felt my heart swell and had to hold onto the bar a little tighter so that I didn't fall over. I taught her a few tendus and the basics of a pirouette, not being overly amazing at it, but still impressive for her age, before I heard Clint warn that tea was in five minutes.
I crouched down to her level again. "I'm going to dance on my own for a while if that's okay, sweetie." I told her, the nickname falling from my lips out of habit. "Why don't you go and get ready for tea?" She shook her head and crossed her arms. God, I do not want a tantrum with her. I had heard about them from Clint. "Why not?"
"I want to watch you dance." she argued, face becoming contorted slightly and I sighed, knowing that it was best to let the child get her way.
"Okay, but one dance and then we'll go for tea, alright?" She nodded, happily, and went to sit down by the mirrors.
"Is he going to watch too?" she asked as I went over to the music player. I was confused for a moment before I followed her gaze to Steve who was standing in the doorway, arm resting on the door frame that showed off his glorious set of muscles beautifully.
"Can I? I haven't seen you dance." He slowly walked a few steps into the room, realising that this was something that was private of mine. I felt nervous at the thought of Steve seeing me dance. The only people who had were the Red Room, the Bartons and a few close friends from S.H.I.E.L.D who came in at the wrong time, but never Steve, because he always gave me warning by knocking.
"Okay." I answered, cursing myself for letting him stay. He came and sat by Clint's daughter, the child curling up to Steve sweetly as he spoke to her softly. I selected a calm, piece of piano music to dance to and pressed the play button, knowing that I would have time to get to the starting position before the music started.
I shut my eyes and waited, letting the stresses and the image of Steve go from my mind. When I was dancing, I was solely focused on dance. As the music started, I let it roll over me, my body flowing to the sounds. There was something about ballet that would let my mind rest, the serenity of it focusing me. The mix of precision and control and freedom forming a beautiful art of dance that my life was based upon. My moves in the battlefield were sometimes just as balletic as the ballet formations I did. I kept my focus off of Steve and on the mirror, watching my every step as I gracefully danced around the room, ending with a set of six slow pirouettes. I finished with my right leg extended as I leaned on my left, pointing my hand downwards towards my right foot.
I heard clapping come from where my 'audience' were sitting and I stood up, walking over to stop the music from playing another track. I turned back to them and both smiled at me, Lila's smile being excitable and fascinated whereas Steve's was a little softer. "That was amazing, Aunty Nat!" she said, excitedly and hugged my leg again.
"Thank you, sweetie. Now how about you pop up for tea and i'll see you in a minute, okay?" I suggested and she nodded, quickly running out of the room. "Be careful!" I shouted, but she was already gone. I only asked her to leave so that I could build up the courage to talk to Steve about dating him. It was now or never...
"That was beautiful, Nat. I can't believe how incredible you are." Steve said, exasperated and looking proudly at me. I felt a blush form on my cheeks and I shrugged, hoping that he wasn't noticing.
"You're too kind." I replied and he smiled, looking at the room.
"Does Barton do ballet as a hobbie too?" Steve had an amused smile on his face that made me imagine what Barton would look like in a tutu. That would have to happen one day! I laughed as we walked slowly towards the door. It was a 30 metres away, which was small compared to the rest of the house. It was like Narnia - you could get very lost if you didn't know your way and even if you did, getting lost was still a possibility.
"No, Clint had this room made after my first few visits." Barton was always so kind to me and it made me think about how I didn't really appreciate him properly.
"Barton is too kind for his own good." Steve chuckled and just his laugh made me want to reach out and kiss him.
"Steve." I said, surprising even myself at the abruptness of my tone. He turned his head as we slowly down, stopping to look at each other in the middle of the room. I was short, looking up at him as he practically towered over me, and wearing a tutu. The two of us must've looked ridiculous.
"Nat...what is it?" he asked, furrowing his eyebrows with concern. God, he cared so much, too much, and I felt all of my emotions swirling around and around in my body, taking over my head. I felt like I was losing control, Steve sucking it all in with his attractive masculinity. He was completely clouding my brain, mind, body, soul, heart, everything. And I was hopeless to stop it. But I was hopeless without him. I was hopeless without our morning chats and our sparring sessions and our rooftop talks for when either of us were feeling down. I couldn't live without him and I wanted him to know that, I wanted him to see that...for me to show him how much he meant.
In a sudden leap of passion, I forced my lips against his, shutting my eyes tightly, my placing themselves against his chest as he wove an arm around my waist to stop himself from falling backwards. I knew I was being overpowering, but I didn't care. The need to kiss him was taking over my life and I had to fulfil my needs somehow. His lips were soft and I couldn't quite put my finger on how they tasted, but I knew they were sweet. And he was warm, so warm, like a radiator, and if made me feel so comfortable against him. I could feel his heart racing against my palms before the kiss ended. A whole one second of kiss had sparked a fire inside of me and I wanted nothing more than to be re-attached to his lips. But there was one thing in my mind stopping me - he didn't kiss me back.
When I opened my eyes, my hands were still against his chest, but I could see his eyes were shut, a shocked look on his face. "Steve?" I asked, so scared that I did something that he really didn't want. When he opened his eyes, they were half-lidded, a look of lust controlling them as he panted heavily. Suddenly, I was pulled forward by the arm that was still around my back, a squeak escaping my lips at the unexpected gesture. The pressure of his lips against my was perfect, like two forces that were made to align with each other.
I moaned as soon as he began, a constant stream of them escaping me as his hands wrapped more around my waist and his lips pushed hard against mine. Living dangerously, as I always did, I swept my tongue across his soft lips, which pulled a groan out of him. It was probably the hottest thing I had ever witnessed and I had to tense my stomach muscles to stop myself from taking him in the studio right then. All I wanted was to hear his groan and it was as sweet as I thought it would be. We pulled away from each other, our heavy breaths the only sound in the room, my hands on either side of his neck and his planted firmly on my waist.
"Tash...Tasha..." he said, breathlessly, his shoulders moving up and down from the passionate kisses we had shared.
"Will you be my boyfriend?" I felt the words sound a little stupid coming out of my mouth, the feeling that a twelve year old girl should be saying that words instead, but I couldn't think of anything else, my brain scrambling to find any sense of logic in my mind.
He let out of a breathy laugh and kissed my lips in one long slow kiss that tingled right the way through my body. It felt like every nerve was buzzing and I couldn't have been happier. He pulled away and answered my question with a grin on his face. "Yes."
This was a cute little thing that I have been working on for weeks. To be honest, I might develop this into a story if it gains enough interest, but for now here is your one shot for Wednesday. As I always say when my work runs over to the Thursday, it's Wednesday somewhere in the world. Thank you and please review, favourite and follow. Also, if there were any mistakes then I would appreciate it if you could point them out. Cheers!