DISCLAIMER: I don't own Harry Potter. Only the plot is my own.

A/N: Some of the supernatural elements in this story are inspired by The Wait written by pelespen, who writes brilliant Sirius/Hermione stories. That's where the similarities end though. [I was - still probably am - clueless about Celtic folklore, and this idea would not have happened if I hadn't read that story. Although it's on temporary, hiatus, do check it out. :)]This is primarily going to be a Marauder's Era story. Some things may not make sense initially, because there is a time for everything.

On an another note, I have major laptop problems so I'm mostly writing this longhand, which means updates will be slow. I didn't want to post this story at all until I'd written 10 chapters at least, but I've written only some of it. However, it's all a bit disorganized at the moment, and I'm procrastinating, so I decided that I will start posting now, if only to hold myself accountable. I will try to post every fortnight at least, but if I don't... well, life is hectic, and I'd rather not compromise on the plot so bear with me till I update! Happy reading! ^_^

PROLOGUE PART I - SIRIUS

James and Lily were laughing as he let Harry ride on his back as Padfoot. Suddenly, their laughter twisted and turned into rage unlike any he had ever seen on either of their faces.

"You killed us!" James yelled.

He choked and fell on his knees. "I- I didn't know… Please… Prongs!"

"It's too late now" Lily said coldly.

Two bolts of green light hit them both in the chest one after the other.

Cold.

Dark.

Alone.

Sirius woke up in a cold sweat. Eerie silence greeted him. The darkness threatened to swallow him; the shadows seemed to mock him. He was alone. He was lonely. But he wouldn't cry, no matter how much he wanted to. He didn't deserve that release.

He made his way to the kitchen and opened the last bottle of Ogden's finest on the shelf. 'Must ask Moony to buy some more.'

He settled himself on the table with nothing but the dim fire and his whiskey for company. This had become a nightly ritual. He had accepted his sleeplessness. It was his punishment.

"Sirius" Remus greeted as he stepped out of the Floo. He paused upon seeing the slumped figure on the kitchen table.

"Couldn't sleep?" he asked gently.

Sirius grunted.

"Sirius…"

Concern.

"You know that you can talk to me"

Concern that he didn't deserve. He felt the hand on his shoulder and it took all his power not to jump into his friend's embrace and allow him say it wasn't his fault.

But he couldn't. It was his fault. He couldn't talk to Remus about it. Couldn't let it be okay. It wasn't okay. Not from Remus.

Remus who was his best friend other than James. Moony who was his brother, a fellow marauder. Moony… whom he had not trusted. Moony, whom he had chosen Peter over.

But if not Moony then who?

No one.

He was resigned to his loneliness. He deserved it.

"I came to tell you that Hermione will be coming a week earlier than the Weasleys. Her parents are going overseas for a conference."

He grunted again in acknowledgment.

"Hello Hermione."

"Hello Sirius."

"The Weasleys will be here only next week. I'm afraid you're not going to have any company until then."

If she noticed that he had not volunteered himself as company, she didn't comment. Instead she smiled brightly and followed him to the room she was to share with Ginny, one floor above his own.

He gave her free reign of the library, which he assumed was enough to make up for any lack of company. He was mostly right.

She spent all her time in the library and in her room, and he cooped himself up in his room, only coming out for meals and to tend to Buckbeak.

They spoke only during meals. They respected each others' space. It worked.

He saw James and Lily's accusing faces again. This time, Harry was there too. He looked at him with hate and disgust.

"You're the reason my parents are dead! You're the reason I grew up abused by the Dursleys! You deserve to be in Azkaban."

"No! Wait – Harry!" He reached out but found himself unable to move as Harry turned and walked away.

The darkness closed in on him from all sides. He curled into himself and whimpered.

Just when he thought he could no longer breathe, a sudden calm washed over him, pulling him away from the darkness.

He felt a soft hand gently stroke his hair back rhythmically, while another wiped his brow with a warm cloth.

"Shh… You're safe now. Go back to sleep."

It must be a faery, he decided as he listened to a soft tune being hummed and was lulled back to sleep.

He didn't dream again that night.

When he woke up, he was sure it had been a dream. A dream. That, in itself, was a change from his regular nightmares. Nevertheless, he felt lighter than he had in days as he went down to breakfast.

He was still lost in his thoughts when Hermione interrupted him.

"Could you pass me the salt, please?"

He froze. Her voice sounded almost like… 'Nah… I was completely hammered last night after all.'

He chuckled as he passed her the salt. She raised an eyebrow in confusion. He shrugged it off.

'There's no way.'

The rat. He escaped. But he couldn't go after him. He needed to distract Moony. He fought with the wolf, but his weakened state was no match.

He whimpered as the wolf slashed him and casually threw him aside. He tried to get up and felt himself falling down into an endless abyss.

Dementors. All around him.

Cold.

Dark.

Alone.

He couldn't breathe. He couldn't move. He saw Harry trying to make him get up, but he couldn't even speak. He resigned himself to his fate. He felt the dementor in his face as something came undone from the very core of his being.

He screamed. He could no longer hold on.

"SIRIUS!"

He jolted awake, panting; gasping for breath. He hardly noticed his shivers until a warm blanket was wrapped snugly around his shoulders, making him jump at the contact. She rubbed his shoulders, trying to bring some heat back.

It worked. He found himself leaving the coldness of his mind and welcoming the warm, human contact. His exhaustion almost put him to sleep as he lay back down and turned his back to her.

He missed the contact already.

"Thank you. You can go now." He said, without looking at her. He was afraid to look at her; afraid to look into her eyes and find pity there.

He felt her linger for a few more minutes before the soft click of the door announced her exit.

He was alone again. Only the shadows in the dark kept him company.

He avoided her the next day. He didn't even show up for meals; he had Kreacher bring them to his room instead. He made sure to be in a different part of the house than her at all times. But the day waned, the night came, and along with it, his nightmares.

"You were supposed to protect him Padfoot." James accused.

"We trusted you."Lily added.

"You left me all alone Padfoot" Moony shook his head in despair as he faded away from him.

It was the same dream – nightmare – every night. James and Lily accused him; sometimes the older Harry joined them. He would then be made to watch as they died, without being able to do anything to help. He would see Moony accuse him of leaving him alone; of not trusting him. And then the dementors came.

Cold.

Dark.

Alone.

'It's enough', he decided, willing himself to be consumed the darkness this time.

Instead, he felt himself being pulled into a warm embrace as a gentle voice shushed him. His sleep was gone and, with it, his release.

This time, he already knew it was her. He pushed her aside roughly and swung his legs down the other side of the bed. He had his head in his hands and his back to her. There was silence. He thought she had left, until he felt her hand press down on his shoulder. He shrugged it off and looked at her with the darkest glare he could muster.

"Leave me alone! I don't need your help!" he shouted.

She flinched but remained standing. She looked at him with an unreadable expression.

How could he tell her? How could he tell her the real reason he didn't want her help? That there was a selfish part of him he hated to acknowledge that wanted his daily nightmares to continue? He wanted the nightmares to continue because no matter how painful they were, he got to see his best mate again. He would accept James and Lily's accusations and hate a million times over, if only he could take it all back. If only he could see them one more time.

Pathetic. How could he tell her that?

"Sirius… let me help you." She said, quietly; firmly.

"Didn't you hear what I just said?!" he yelled, standing up and towering over her. "I don't need your help and I don't want your sodding pity!"

She looked taken aback. But it was his turn to get startled as her previously unreadable expression clouded into one of anger.

"You think I pity you?!" she asked incredulously. "Well, flash news! The world doesn't revolve around you Sirius! Yes, you've had an awful life – more horrible than most, I admit – but that does not give you the right to behave as if the rest of us have been living on rainbows all this time! Think about Harry – abused by the Dursleys before coming to the magical world, only to bloody fight Voldemort year after year! Think about Remus – he couldn't keep a single job for more than a month because this prejudiced society won't give him the same rights as another human being!"

He flinched at the examples she used and angrily interrupted, "Yes! I know it's my fault! It's completely my fault! I should have been there for Harry and Remus instead of running off after Pettigrew for revenge. Or better yet, I should have trusted Remus."

He sat back down on the bed, pulling his hair. "I should have trusted Remus." He repeated in a broken whisper.

She kneeled down and gently pried his fingers away, holding his hand between hers. "I'm not blaming you. None of it is your fault and you didn't deserve any of the bad things that happened to you." She pressed her fingers to his mouth before he could interrupt. "The point is, Sirius, most of us have not had easy lives. But do you see anybody else complaining or drowning themselves in self-loathe? It's nobody's fault but You-Know-Who's! If you feel responsible, fix it. Help us win this war. Help us finish him once and for all. Harry needs you Sirius."

"Harry needs you." She repeated cupping his face with her hands.

"Harry needs you Padfoot."

"You're his family."

"You're his Godfather."

"If anything happens to you, he'll have no family left."

"If anything happens to us, you'll be the only family he has left."

How could he have forgotten? Those words spoken so long ago now forced him to face reality. His vision blurred as he tried to focus back on Hermione's face.

"Let me help you."

Warm tears streaked down his cheeks. Soon, the tears changed into gut-wrenching sobs that had him convulsing with their intensity. Hermione stood up and sat on the bed. She pulled his shaking form onto her lap and held him close.

She didn't say anything. He pushed his face against her stomach to hide his mangled moans. She held him tighter.

After fifteen years, Sirius Black cried.

And Hermione Granger held him.

The next day he expected the pity that hadn't shown itself the previous day. It never came. This boosted his confidence enough to join her in the library after lunch.

She was leaning on one arm of the large couch, a blanket covering her feet. He picked up a random book from the shelf and nervously approached her.

When she noticed him, she smiled brightly and lifted the blanket in offering. His nervousness faded away immediately and he took the other end of the couch, getting his feet under the blanket.

They both read their books in silence, but the silence was welcome. Something had changed.

By the time the Weasleys came over, Sirius was quite a different man compared to how he had been a mere week ago. Most of the time, he was glad to have the dark and silent house filled with so many people, so much chatter and laughter. Sometimes, he missed the comfortable silences he had shared with Hermione.

His nightmares had gotten better but they were not gone – he doubted they would ever be. On those nights, he would always wake up to her soft hands stroking his hair and wiping his cold sweat with a warm cloth. She would always stay and lull him back to sleep. They would never speak about it in the mornings.

He once asked her how she always knew when to come.

Her hand paused mid-stroke in his hair. He turned around in her lap to see her expression.

She looked away. "You scream in your sleep" she said after a few minutes, going back to stroking his hair.

He never questioned why nobody else heard them.

He never told her that he warded his room with silencing charms every night.

The day Harry arrived was the happiest he had been in a long time. Sometimes, it felt like he had gotten James back. A very selfish part of him hoped Harry would be expelled at his trial, and come live with him.

When everyone else celebrated the success of Harry's trial, he found himself wandering off to a corner, a glass of firewhiskey in hand.

He felt her hand squeeze his discretely. He couldn't look at her. He knew she knew what he was thinking, and he was ashamed of himself.

"We'll come back during Christmas."

He couldn't wait for Christmas.

The empty house still felt oppressive; the shadows in the dark ever-present. His nightmares once more haunted him, with no one to help keep them at bay.

But now he had something to look forward to. Now he had someone who knew, to write to him every other day.

He even spent more time with Moony and the older Weasleys now. He reconnected with Andromeda's family. And as December approached, anyone could notice an extra gait in his step as he busied himself with arranging a huge Christmas tree and all the decorations imaginable.

Christmas couldn't come soon enough.

When Christmas did come though, the mood around the house was sombre due to Mr. Weasley's attack. He was even more worried when he found out that Harry was the one who had alerted them because of a dream. He tried his best to assuage Harry's self-doubt, without giving away the Order's secret.

And yet, the selfish part of him once again reared its head upon having the house full again and he couldn't help but feel a little happy. Moreover, his nightmares were once more kept at bay now that she was back.

Once Mr. Weasley was out of danger and everyone relaxed into holiday mode, there was no one happier than him. He spent all his time singing Christmas carols at the top of his voice, whilst decorating the house.

It was Christmas Eve. Fred and George had dared her to steal his wand and she had successfully done so. However, her getaway had not been so successful. He was currently chasing her all over the house and he had almost caught up to her when she was about to enter the kitchen. Suddenly, she stopped.

"Caught you now!" he said, grinning. Too late, he realized that they were stuck at the entrance.

He watched her bite her lips nervously and glance upwards. He followed her gaze and spotted the mistletoe hanging above them. He looked back at her to see her cheeks flushed a bright red as she looked at him worriedly.

He smiled in reassurance and felt his heart skip a beat as she smiled back in relief. He bent his head slowly, their hearts beating wildly all the while, until his lips finally met hers in a gentle kiss. It was the gentlest kiss he had ever experienced and yet, it seemed to burn his very soul. Her cheeks felt on fire as his hands caressed them. After what seemed like an eternity, but must have been mere moments, he felt the cold loss of her warm lips. She looked at him with a mixture of confusion and surprise, and he was sure his expression mirrored hers.

"Sirius!"

They both jumped at the interruption. She took the opportunity to bolt out the door as he shook himself and turned around to greet Remus, who was standing next to the Floo with a wary expression on his face. He glanced upwards to point the mistletoe and Remus' shoulders sagged in relief.

"Who on Earth would put up charmed mistletoe in the headquarters?" Remus asked with a grin.

"Who else? Must have been the twins." Sirius answered. "Come on, everyone else' already here."

As he led Remus back to the front parlour, his mind wandered back to the kiss. What was that?

The next time they saw each other, both of them avoided the topic, though a tell-tale blush could be seen on both their cheeks. They never spoke of the kiss again that winter.

When they finally left for King's Cross, Hermione hugged him tight.

"Don't do anything reckless" she whispered in his ear. He chuckled as he let go.

"Take care of yourself Sirius." She impulsively leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. "I'll see you soon!"

Sirius burst into the Death Chamber with the rest of the order. The air was thick with static magic and spells firing about. His breath caught in his throat as his eyes fell on Hermione who lay slumped against the wall, her abdomen bleeding out. He watched Tonks take over Ginny's fight which let the redhead tend to Hermione. He wanted to check on her but he couldn't let Harry fight his deranged cousin alone. He swallowed hard and went to take over Harry's fight near the veil.

He felt something tug deep inside his being as the fight against Bellatrix went on. They were evenly matched and neither was letting up; neither taunts nor spells. The whole fight started feeling surreal to him. Adrenaline, he reckoned. He felt high and fought in an almost out of body experience.

"Is that all you've got?!" he taunted, as another red spell whizzed past his ear.

Bellatrix paused and smirked wickedly. "AVADA KEDAVRA!"

The green light hit him before he could even register what had happened. He closed his eyes, still smirking, and fell back into the darkness.

"Sirius!"

"Sirius!"

His body felt like lead and he couldn't move a muscle. But something told him that he had to respond to that voice.

After three failed tries, he opened his eyes on the fourth try. And blinked. His vision was blurry. All he could see was a mass of hair.

"You're safe now."

'Hermione…?' He blacked out before he could reply.

It was Christmas before Harry and the others knew. When they stepped through the door and saw Sirius, Harry couldn't believe his eyes. When Sirius hugged him, he wouldn't let go.

When Harry had finally calmed down enough to let the others greet Sirius, Hermione stepped forward and hugged him close.

"Don't do something so reckless ever again!" she whispered, her voice thick with tears. "I'm glad you're back."

Every time he spoke to her, he waited for the questions that never came. It was so unlike her that it unnerved him. He felt like he was forgetting something important. He didn't find out what it was until late on Christmas Eve.

Everyone else had long gone to bed. He had finally convinced Remus to join him for a nightcap, using Christmas as an excuse. Remus, too exhausted by whatever mission he was on for the Order, didn't protest too much and soon, one drink turned into many and Sirius had a drunk werewolf on his hands. Eventually, the conversation turned to the trio and Sirius voiced his nagging thought.

"You know, I can't believe Hermione hasn't questioned me even once about the Veil." He frowned.

Remus snorted. "Why would she need to?"

Sirius looked at him sharply. "What do you mean?"

Remus slumped down on the table and slurred, "She… saved… after all…" He promptly fell unconscious.

Sirius felt a cold grip his heart as everything made sense all at once. It was obvious now that he thought about it.

"Why?"

Hermione jumped in surprise and spilled some of the water in her glass. "Sirius. Have you been here all night?" she asked, sipping her water.

Sirius got up from where he'd been sitting at the kitchen table. He had long put Moony to bed, and everybody else was still asleep.

"Why?" he repeated, walking towards her.

"Why what?" she asked, subconsciously taking a step back.

"Why did you do it?"

She frowned. "I don't know what you're talking about." She turned around to place the empty glass on the counter.

Sirius placed his arms on either side of her, effectively caging her in. "Remus told me" he whispered.

She stiffened.

"Look at me Hermione"

She squared her shoulders and turned around slowly, surprised by his proximity. But she held her ground and stared right back into his eyes.

"Why did you do it?" he repeated softly.

"I still don't know what you're talking about…" she mumbled, looking away.

He scoffed. "Don't lie Hermione. It doesn't become you."

She sighed in resignation and looked at him fiercely. "Of course I couldn't not do it when I knew there was a way! What's wrong with you?!"

"Yes, but why did you do it?"

She crossed her arms defensively. "The rest of them would have messed it up."

"That's not true. You could have asked Remus!"

He sighed when she refused to answer and cupped her cheek, forcing her to look at him. "What you did was incredibly reckless – and I don't even know exactly how you did it – but I want to know why. Tell me the truth Hermione."

He saw a myriad of emotions flicker across her face as she bit her lip indecisively. She glanced up in surprise and before he could see what it was, she looked at him determinedly and kissed him.

He was taken by surprise, but he recovered quickly and pulled her closer to him with one hand tangled in her hair and the other secure around her waist. She responded by looping her arms around his neck and subconsciously massaging his scalp. He groaned and deepened the kiss, feeling goosebumps on his skin as she moaned in response.

After a long time, they pulled apart breathlessly, both looking dishevelled. As she hid her face in the crook of his neck, he wrapped his arms around her protectively and never wanted to let her leave. But to his utter disappointment, she pulled away and gently caressed his cheek. Her eyes were bright – too bright – and her trembling smile was a little bittersweet, but they screamed out all that was never said in words.

As he reached out to hold her again, she drew back and shook her head, running out of the room.

He swallowed hard and clenched his fists as he stopped himself from following her. He looked up belatedly with blurry eyes.

Mistletoe.

The Order reached Hogwarts as soon as they got the distress call. When they reached the grounds, they could see the Dark Mark in the sky. Sirius' heart clenched with dread as he bolted towards the sounds of the battle inside the castle.

He split up from the other Order members as they each took over the students' fights, and fought his way through to the Gryffindor tower. Part way there, he heard the unmistakeable cackle of Bellatrix's laughter coming from the corridor around the turn.

Hermione was engaged in a fight with Dolohov while Bellatrix stood behind, cackling madly with her wand in hand. Sirius was confused as to why she wasn't attacking, but he was distracted by another masked death eater coming out of nowhere and engaging him in battle.

He managed to stun the death eater after a few rounds of spells and looked up just in time to see Hermione being disarmed and thrown back. His attention was momentarily diverted when he noticed that Dolohov retreated behind Bellatrix instead of attacking. However, all colour drained from his face when his mad cousin raised her wand and five black stones zoomed towards Hermione, surrounding her. As Bellatrix started waving her wand in complicated motions, he knew what he had to do.

"I'm sorry Harry, Hermione." He steeled himself and shouted, "STUPEFY!"

Hermione looked at him in shock as the spell hit her, throwing her against the wall. Wasting no time, Sirius rushed to the spot she had been in just moments ago, just as the five stones started glowing white.

Bellatrix looked surprised at the change of events, but soon enough, her surprised turned into sadistic glee as she said the incantation to finish the spell.

"Exilium in tempus perditus!"

The last thing he saw was Hermione's horrified expression, before the white light consumed him and he knew no more.

A/N: Hope you liked it! Let me know!