"Jou, this is indefensible. You have officially lost your mind."

The lanky blonde tried not to falter as he stared upwards into his boyfriend's serious face. Well, his 'more-serious' face- Seto Kaiba rarely looked gleeful and relaxed.

The light-haired duelist tried to placate the obviously upset CEO. "Awright, I know I made a rash decision..."

"No, a rash decision was when you paid over $100 for that 'rare card' you found online without checking its authenticity first. This is a felony."

"What?!" The chestnut-eyed teen seemed shocked by the revelation. He glanced downwards at the squirming bundle of blankets in his arms and shook his head. "Nah, that can't be right!"

"You kidnapped an infant! How does this in any way strike you as being less-than-illegal?!"

"I wasn't tryin' to hurt him!" Jou protested. "I was savin' him! I toldja, the dude looked dead and the girl wasn't much better!"

"You called an ambulance, I hope?"

"Yeah, the second I left! But I couldn' just leave him there with a strung-out ma and some dead guy, right?!"

Seto Kaiba groaned and rubbed his temples with one hand. He knew his beau could be impetuous, at best... but this really took the cake. He glanced out the window, noticing that the mansion grounds were currently empty (save for the usual security guards). "Fine. We need to get your story set before the police arrive. I asked for Officer Tanuko, as he's generally discrete." The billionaire glanced back at the other teen and sighed. "So let's see... earlier today you went back to your old neighborhood to 'visit a friend', when you heard some crying from a nearby window. You then entered a crappy apartment- without permission- and found two junkies with an emaciated child in a ragged old crib."

Jou nodded, the bundle now starting to make faint noises. "Yeah, an' you shoulda seen the joint! I may not always have lived in a mansion, but that place could kill a city health inspector wit' just one look! The wallpaper was all moldy an' peelin'; an' the floor was covered in dirty needles and used-"

Seto held up one palm. "I get the picture, Jou. Just try to keep your statements brief- don't forget, Officer Tanuko will have to write down everything you say."

"Oh, right... well, it was a filthy, disgusting mess that stunk to high Heaven. So I saw the kid, an' I could tell no-one was gonna be able ta take care of him for a long time..."

Seto raised one eyebrow, starting to see some semblance of his boyfriend's disjointed reasoning. "And you assumed he would be in mortal danger if left there." The blonde nodded eagerly as the infant started to softly cry. "I see. While your actions were foolish, they were well-intended. But next time, call the police first- or myself, if you have any other doubts."

"Okay." Jou sighed as he glanced downwards at the swaddled baby. "I think I heard the front door open and close- Roland should be back by now, right?"

Seto nodded, his thoughts racing as he planned his next move. "Yes, I only asked him to pick up a few items. The police can handle the rest."

Jou let out a chuckle as he gently rocked the orphan in his arms. "Aw, you're making a softy outta my guy, little dude! You've got him donating to charity!"

The grim look returned as Seto flatly retorted: "I already donate to several charities- including your misguided internet shopping."

The blonde gave another laugh, when he heard a strange noise. The two heavy doors to Seto Kaiba's home office weren't fully closed, and he could see Mokuba peering in at the trio. Before anyone could say anything, Mokuba let out a strangled gasp and took off running down the hall.

Jou looked bewildered as he glanced at his quieter partner. "Er, what was tha' about?"

"I'm not sure, but I'm going to handle it right now." The taller man started towards the door. "I'll check on Mokuba, while you go downstairs and get the supplies from Roland. He basically helped me raise Mokuba, so he should be able to help you with everything."

"Yes, my captain!" Jou gave a mock salute with one hand before heading towards the main level of the mansion. Seto rolled his eyes before stalking down the hall in the opposite direction.

"Mokuba?"

The door to his little brother's room was only partly open, but when Seto didn't get a response he slowly opened it.

Mokuba was lying on his queen-sized bed, his hair and face hidden beneath one of his luxury pillows- a sure sign that something was wrong. Seto felt a growing apprehension as he approached his distressed sibling.

"Mokuba?" But the covered boy didn't budge. "Mokie? What's wrong?"

It was hard to make out the pre-teen's voice from beneath the silken pillow, but Seto could hear enough.

"It's not fair!" The black-haired boy suddenly sobbed out. His voice sounded plaintive and strained. "You never said you wanted kids, and now you and Jou are adopting a baby?! You never even told me!"

"Wait, Mokuba-"

"No, it's not fair!" The youth repeated again, his voice cracking slightly. "You both barely hang out with me now- and soon you and Jou will never have any time for me ever again!" He wailed miserably into the mattress.

"Oh, Mokuba..." The older teen sighed as he attempted to figure out how to explain the entire ordeal. "You misunderstood. We're not bringing home a baby- Jou found the child while he was visiting his old home."

"He... he found it?!" Mokuba finally slid his head out from under the pillow so he could stare at his big brother in disbelief. "Seto, people don't just leave babies lying around!"

The CEO struggled to tactfully explain the situation. "Jou's old neighborhood's location isn't exactly the best place in Domino... believe it or not, some people really do things like that- particularly when they're drunk or high."

Mokuba's mouth formed a small 'o' shape as he took in the disturbing information. "Wow... so is the baby homeless?"

"Temporarily. I've asked Officer Tanuko to help find a foster home for the infant- he should be arriving any moment now. In the meantime, Roland offered to fetch some basic supplies to keep him comfortable. He should be downstairs with Jou and the child now."

"Oh..." A look of embarrassment dawned on Mokuba's face as he realized his assumption wasn't the reality. "I-I'm sorry, Seto... I just saw Jou with a baby, and I thought..."

Seto's expression went flat yet again. "Mokuba, Jou is the last person on Earth I would trust with an infant. I love him; but he's entirely too scatterbrained and distracted to care for a baby. I also have no desire to try and rear a screaming little gremlin, with the hope of it somehow turning into something resembling a decent human being."

Mokuba barely hid a grin as he teasingly replied, "I'm gonna tell Jou you said that!"

"Feel free. We've discussed this before, and neither of us wants to adopt- and as you stated before, we really don't 'have the time.'"

"..." The pale tween glanced away guiltily. "I didn't mean it."

"There's no need to apologize- you bring up a good point. I've been busier than ever lately, what with the new duel disk design being so far behind schedule; and you know Jou's still finishing up his online degree." Seto gave his sibling a meaningful glance. "We'll be very busy for a few more weeks; but afterwards, what do think of us all taking a nice, long vacation? You and Jou can decide the destination."

The look of elation on the Capmon champion's face was so exuberant that Seto was hardly surprised by the enthusiastic hug that followed.

"Heck yeah!"

Meanwhile, Officer Tanuko was downstairs, getting Jou's statements. A secondary officer was currently holding the small child, carefully feeding it the bottled formula Roland had bought. Once Jou was finished recounting his tale, Officer Tanuko nodded and his college prepared to place the infant in a car seat.

"Everything you said checks out- we sent over a car twenty minutes ago after a neighbor reported the crying. We don't usually do wellness checks in that area without solid evidence, but the old lady sounded pretty concerned."

"Everything alright?" Seto added as he strolled down the lavish steps of the front hall.

The officer nodded while Jou went over to say 'goodbye' to the baby. "Mr. Katsuya was correct- as far as we can tell, the male O.D.'ed sometime within the last 48 hours; but the female (who we believe may be the mother) is alive and currently at Domino General. She'll be checked into a nearby rehab facility as soon as she's stable." The patrolman glanced around before lowering his voice to a whisper. "We're not exactly supposed to share information on an active case... but I don't think that kid would've made it if it wasn't for Jou's intervening. That was a very lucky coincidence for both the mother and the child."

"Hm..." Seto glanced thoughtfully at the kind-hearted blonde, who was currently making the tiny baby laugh by making silly noises and pulling various faces. "...indeed."

As soon as as everyone was finished with their various well-wishes, the officers took the tiny bundle and made their way back to their squad car. Officer Tanuko had just left when Mokuba finally came down the stairs. His grey eyes watched as the two patrol cars made it down the long driveway and passed through the already-opened gates. "Wow... that was a pretty big deal, huh?"

Jou wiped a single happy tear from his own cheek. "Yeah... I'm glad the little guy's gonna go to a good home. Tanuko said they already got a foster family in mind, so he should be all set."

"So, you're not adopting a baby, then?" Mokuba added hopefully.

Jou gave a wide grin as he shook his head at his unofficial 'little brother'. "Nah, not at all." He gave an overly-dramatic sigh and slumped over on a nearby sofa couch. "Besides, I'm already exhausted, an' I didn't even have the lil' guy for more than three hours!"

Seto had just turned to walk back upstairs when he muttered, "besides, why on Earth would we ever adopt a small child when we've got you?"

The shortest member of the family instantly took offense and loudly called after his sibling: "Set-o! I'm almost a teenager- I'm not a small child anymore!"

"Perhaps," the billionaire smirked while still stalking away, "but I wasn't talking about you."

Realization dawned on the reclining blonde as soon as Mokuba started snickering, leading Jou to loudly yelp out: "Hey!"