SpongeBob, wake up!

I ripped myself from sleep, looking around frantically, trying to see who called my name.

"SpongeBob!" someone shouted again. I could recognize that it was Mr. Krabs' voice.

Oh shit, I forgot, I was at the Krusty Krab, wasn't I? I quickly glanced at my watch. Neptune, 2 in the morning. Please let my shift be over.

I got up, using all of my energy to walk over to Mr. Krabs, who was leaning against the door to his office. He looked pissed beyond belief. I wasn't looking forward to whatever scolding I was about to get.

"What's up Mr. K?" I managed to ask before letting out a loud yawn, unable to contain myself. Mr. Krabs looked annoyed at this. Hey, I couldn't help it.

"Boy, I'm not happy." Mr. Krabs stated with a loud voice. "Not happy at all!"

"Why?"

Mr. Krabs had an annoyed look on his face, as if just my being there was an irritation to him. He shook his head, letting out some tsk tsk tsk's. "I'm not happy because…" he paused for a second, and then all shades of annoyance left his face as he said, "You haven't told me what we're doing for me birthday tomorrow!" Mr. Krabs started chuckling wholeheartedly.

At first I thought he was joking, and all I could muster up for a reply was, "Mr. Krabs, can I go home now?" As much as I loved the Krusty Krab, the night shift was always a pain in the ass. Mr. Krabs stopped laughing.

"Boy! Did you forget about my birthday?" he exclaimed.

"It's not that I forgot, it's that I didn't know. When have we ever celebrated your birthday before?"

"Er, yeah, you know, I guess yer right," Mr. Krabs started, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. "But, you know, I was thinking that this time it would be different. We could get a group together and have a real humdinger of a night, me boyo!"

"I mean, I'll see what everyone's up to tomorrow night. But what about the Krusty Krab?" I responded.

"Oh, don't ya worry about that! Tomorrow, we're all taking the day off!"

I couldn't complain with that. If it meant that I could sleep in tomorrow, I would take Mr. Krabs to the Great Barrier Reef if he'd asked me. I couldn't even remember the last time I had a day off. I knew Squidward would be ecstatic with this news.

"Alright bucko, yer free to go. See ya tomorrow night! I can hardly contain meself!" Mr. Krabs exclaimed, laughing excitedly. I chuckled to myself and left the restaurant, starting the long walk home. I was so tired I could barely move, but the thought of having tomorrow off put me in great spirits. I slept like a log that night.

The next morning, or afternoon, or whatever it was, I woke up and still felt obscenely tired. I chuckled to myself, saying "I'm ready" and hoisting myself out of bed. When I was brushing my teeth, I got a call on my shell-phone. It was Mr. Krabs.

"Hi Mr. K," I answered. "What's up?"

"Hey boyo! I tried calling you a few times already, but you must've been asleep. Well, I was just checkin' to make sure that we were still on for a crazy time tonight!"

I let out a laugh and replied, "Well, maybe not too crazy, we wouldn't want Patrick to tear up the city." Mr. Krabs thought that was exceptionally funny.

"Hey! Don't forget to bring Squidward! I think he'd appreciate the quality time."

"Well, I'll try. He usually just likes to keep to himself, but I'll check and see if he wants to go. I'll see you tonight Mr. K. Meet us at Fancy! at 7 o' clock tonight."

"Oh, fancy!" Mr. Krabs said, and I hung up. I let out a sigh. Hopefully everyone is free tonight. I wouldn't want to show up by myself for the "big" celebration. That would be awkward.

When I finished getting ready, I walked over to Squidward's house. I knocked on his door, but there was no answer. I knew he was in there, because I could hear him playing his shitty clarinet. I knocked louder a second time.

I heard a frustrated grumble and angry stomping towards the door. The door swung open, and a furious Squidward was standing in front of me. "SpongeBob you barnacle head! It is three in the afternoon, this is when I practice my clarinet! Now kindly go away!" Squidward tried to slam the door in my face, but I put my foot in the doorway, keeping it from closing.

"I just came to ask if you wanted to get dinner to celebrate Mr. Krabs' birthday tonight. He'd really appreciate it," I said.

Squidward let out a sarcastic chuckle. "And why in Neptune's name would I do that? Have dinner with a few shell-for-brains? I'd rather be stung by a jellyfish – no, two jellyfish!"

"Suit yourself Squidward. I guess you'll be spending your day off eating microwaved urchin-soup while Mr. Krabs and I go to Fancy! tonight." I started to walk away, knowing full well that Squidward wouldn't pass up such fine dining.

"Fancy!, you mean, the Fancy!"

"Yeah Squid, the restaurant in a ship. In a bottle." I replied smugly.

"Oh, well, uh, why didn't you say so? I'd be delighted to accompany you fellows tonight, and for such a special occasion, I'll wear my finest suit!" Squidward exclaimed excitedly, slamming the door and running upstairs to find out what he was going to wear.

I shouted up to his upstairs window, "Alright, meet us there at 7 o' clock!" and walked over to Patrick's house. I knocked on the hard rock exterior. Doing that always made my knuckles hurt like a bitch. The rock lifted up, revealing Patrick stuck to its underside. "Hey SpongeBob!" he exclaimed excitedly.

"Hey Pat! Do you wanna go get dinner tonight with Mr. Krabs? It's his birthday."

"Oh. Well, uh, will there be food?"

"Uh, yeah Pat. That's what I meant by dinner. We're going to that fancy restaurant on the other side of town."

"Ooooh, a fancy restaurant for a bunch of fancy people! I love being fancy!" Patrick exclaimed excitedly.

"Well, in that case, meet us there at 7 o' clock tonight. And for the love of Neptune Patrick, please try to look presentable."

"I always do, my good man," he replied in his best fancy tone, and the rock slammed back down. Now all I needed to ask was Sandy, and the gang would all be there.

After a ten minute walk, I arrived at Sandy's. I put on my glass helmet and drained the water from the airlock, and made my way inside. Sandy was sitting at her picnic table, admiring the ecosystem of her tree-dome.

"Isn't it beautiful SpongeBob? The flowers blooming, the butterflies, the grass. Spring is finally here," she said with a contented sigh. I didn't even know what spring was, so I didn't comment on it. I looked at Sandy as nonchalantly as I could. She was looking at the tree, but I was enjoying a view of my own. I always found it hard to ignore her choice of fashion. A bikini doesn't leave much to the imagination, and I always found her to be attractive. Well, attractive for a mammal.

I cut to the chase. "Hey, me and the guys are meeting Mr. Krabs at that fancy restaurant tonight at 7 if you wanna come. It's his birthday." After a pause, I added, "I'd really like for you to be there."

Sandy spun around, a big grin on her face. "Well I'd love to SpongeBob! You always know how to treat a girl."

I didn't know how to respond to this, and to be honest I didn't know what she was talking about. I've never had a girlfriend in my life. "Well, uh, good. See you tonight then." I spun around and headed out the door without saying another word. As I took my helmet off, I buried my face in my hands, letting out an embarrassed sigh. Why did I make that so fucking awkward? I headed back to my house and started to get ready.

We all converged at the restaurant a bit earlier than we planned. Apparently no one wanted to be fashionably late, especially Patrick, who showed up at five wondering where the hell everyone was. He was dressed like he always was, not taking my advice. Squidward was wearing a shockingly expensive looking tuxedo, and Mr. Krabs and I wore button-downed shirts. We honestly should've dressed a little fancier, but to me, comfort was key. I looked over to Sandy, who looked stunning in her beautiful purple dress. I quickly glanced away when she caught my gaze.

Mr. Krabs looked giddy with excitement. "Well, shall we?" he said as he held the door open for everyone. As we took our seats, my head started pounding with a headache. I excused myself to the bathroom. I took out the painkillers from my pocket and started munching on a few. I threw some water on my face, letting out a sigh. This was going to be a long night.