I paced the infirmary hall for probably the 100th time in the last 45 minutes. I had found Rose but in an even worse condition than before. My brain was still reeling from the way I found her.

Earlier today

I raced to the place I knew I'd find Rose, Mason's grave. I wasn't prepared for how I would find her. It struck me just how small Rose was she always just seemed so much larger than life, but now so broken she looked almost childlike. She was curled on the ground next to Masons memorial sobbing, I fell to the ground next to her and pulled her into my arms. I cradled her tightly. She shifted and her arm came into view and I gasped out loud. She had scratched her arm till it was raw and bleeding and there was long parallel scars along the underside. I realized that her blood was soaking into my t-shirt and tears pooled in my eyes. Dear god how much pain must one be in to hurt themselves. I stood and carried her sobbing form to the infirmary as fast as I could without jostling her. When I finally made it my panic had reached new heights.

"I need a doctor!"

I was aware of how thick my accent sounded and how loud my voice was in the quiet space but I didn't find it in me to care. Nurses were quickly around me and trying to take her from my arms.

"NO NO NO!" Roses screams echoed through the halls and pierced my heart. She trashed and clawed at the nurses while still trying to hold onto my shirt. She was still bleeding and worrying me more and more.
"Just tell me where you would take her and I will take her there!" I yelled to be heard over the commotion.

"Sir let us take her." I practically growled at the orderly and that seemed to be enough. I followed them down the hall to one of the more secluded rooms in the back and tried to lay Rose on the bed.
"Please don't leave me please!' She was screaming and panic swept through me again. This was not normal by any means.

"Roza I'm not leaving but I have to put you down ok?" My voice was soft and sweet. She clung to me sobbing hard. I released her on the bed and immediately her screaming started again.
"It's my fault it's my fault Please don't leave me!" I wanted to cry seeing my Roza so broken. Then the scratching started again. Her nails pierced her skin and my yell ripped through my throat fierce and fast.

"Roza! Help!" the orderly who was giving me space before raced forward, a needle in hand.

"What is that?" I asked the franticness in my voice obvious to even my ears.

"It's a tranquilizer she needs to stop hurting herself." I didn't like it but it was necessary. The nurse crowded in and plunged the needle into her arm. Her howling didn't stop immediately but it was starting to fade and her arms struggling against us started to slow. Her eyelids fluttered closed and her hands fell limp by her side. I sighed a breath of relief.

So here I was pacing in front of her watching her sleep. I didn't know if I even wanted her to wake up. I couldn't see her hurt herself again it would kill me. I ran through all of the possible things that Rose could have meant by it's my fault. I finally settled on Mason. I knew she had felt guilty about Mason's death but I couldn't rap my head around what could have possibly started this psychotic break; or what could have possessed her to hurt herself. My memory briefly flashed back to Vasalisa, she had hurt herself before too, she had used razors to cut into her skin much like Rose with her nails. Perhaps this was symptom of the darkness? My brain was swimming with too many unanswered questions. Alberta was on her way to figure out what the fuck was going on but now I needed to calm down. I sat down with my Roza. They had bandaged her wrist but you could find small spots of her blood seeping through in some spots. The sight was sobering and my heart fell for the thousandth time today. She was sweating heavily and her brow was furrowed as if deep in thought, I began to run my fingers through her soft fine hair and I felt her body relax. I watched her chest rise and fall with her breathing.

"moya sladkaya Roza ya nikogda ne ostavlyu tebya." I whispered in her ear.

"My sweet Roza I'll never leave you."

Alberta appeared in the door way not much later with a frenzied look in her eyes that I could relate too. I sometimes forgot that Rose was like a daughter to Alberta as the older women usually substituted for the mother Rose never had.

"Dimitri what the hell happened!" I shushed her even though it was unnecessary Rose was tranquilized and wouldn't be waking up anytime soon. I released myself from Rozas grip, not without a skeptical look from Alberta.

"She's had a mental breakdown, I found her by Masons grave screaming and clawing herself until she bled- at this Alberta took notice of her bandaged arms-

I took her here and she refused to let go of me, as soon as I put her down she began hurting herself again so it was necessary for them to tranquilize her." Alberta eyes close at the onslaught of information and emotion and she drops into the chair by the door.

"Do you have any idea what could have caused this any new development?" She asks exhaustion clear in her voice. By now we were well into the Moroi night and if it weren't for the fear and adrenaline pumping through my veins I would be exhausted too.

"I don't think anything new it could just be the late affects of Masons death, or-" I stop myself abruptly not wanting to say where my thoughts were going.

"Or what Dimitri?" Alberta asks her voice sharp.

"when Vasalisa was affected by the 'Darkness' that accompanies spirit she also hurt herself in a similar manner although it seemed much more methodical then this, I don't think... I don't think she wanted to hurt herself." The words get caught in my throat by the end, What did I know? This could not even be the first time Rose has hurt herself it could've been happening for weeks without my noticing. Again self loathing plagued my mind. What kind of mentor was I? What kind of friend was I? To let Rose suffer. I did't know if you could categorize what me and rose had as friendship. We certainly wanted more and that was unusual. At least i thought so; I had nothing to compare it to, no other
"friends".

"Dimitri." Alberta's voice drew me from my revere.

"You should go to bed get rest, you have a shift tomorrow." I felt my refusal rise in my throat before she finished her sentence.

"She needs me to be here when she wakes up." Alberta regarded me sharply, her eyes narrowing.

"yes I suppose she does." She finally said with a heavy sigh. With that she stood pushed some of Roses hair back in an uncommonly motherly gesture and stalked off. I wanted to settle on the bed next to Roza just to soothe her and give her comfort but it would be far too suspicious, so I settled for leaning back on the chair by her bed. I began stroking my fingers through her hair again and humming a soft song my mother sang me as a child. I watched the fluorescent light flicker ominously and soon let it lull me into a fitful shallow sleep.

Hey guys! I am loving this story. Sorry it took me so long to update but school has started again and I have a TON of work. I love all of your reviews! please keep reviewing and reading-Maya