Warning: Death, grief and just overall sadness.

Chapter 2

Five years earlier

They say there is no greater pain than that of losing a child. And you along with everyone else would be inclined to automatically agree, yet what nobody tells you or actually knows is just how very true that statement really is. Your heart shattered in your chest that day and some of the largest pieces became lost in a turbulent sea of grief, agony, and denial. Sticks and stones and all that. Whoever said words can never hurt you, never had a child ripped from their arms.

When the words first hit your ears, the rest immediately became drowned out by white noise. "Are you sure?"

Was the first question out of your mouth.

"I just spoke-are you sure?" Your tone crackled under the weight of the lump already tightening around your throat because you knew; just knew deep down in your soul what the answer was going to be, yet for some masochistic reason you wanted, no, needed to hear it once more.

A grim forced confirmation from Charlie and finally reality slammed into you like a freight train. Your baby, your daughter, the person you shared a body with for nine months, nursed, raised, cooed, and coddled was gone.

Bella's face flashed behind your eyelids.

You nearly dropped the phone as your body buckled with emotional agony. "Nonono, not Bella! Please, please Oh God, not Bella."

Phil must have heard the commotion because he comes barreling into the room seemingly ready for anything though you doubt he's ready for this. "What is it? What's going on?

Grief crippling your body, you could only mumble out a meek. "She's gone."

His brow furrowed in confusion. "What?"

A burst of energy surged through you just long enough for you to lift your head."Bella's dead!" Mouth opened in a silent scream, face flushed with crippling pain. "My baby's gone."

You buried your face once more as hot tears scorched down your cheeks in heavy drops and the only word you could think of at that moment was 'why'.

Tears so many tears, sobs and questions directed both at you and from you. The couple of days that followed were nothing, but an endless cycle of torture and despair that left your whole body aching both physically and mentally still your nights remained sleepless.

How could you when your baby lie somewhere cold and alone? What kind of mother would you be if you even attempted such a thing?

Never mind the fact that every time you tried chocolate eyes so much like your own haunted every dream and a familiar child's voice from the year before pleaded with you to come find her.

"Mommy! Where are you, mommy!?"

"I'm here, baby, right here!" You run to the voice so familiar yet so vague.

"Mommy, hurry! I'm scared!"

You wake every time clutching and screaming out her name into a sweat-dampened pillow. Still, she never answers. A little girl lost, a teenager dead. It all comes back at once and on repeat, over and over again.

It wasn't until the day of the wake, surrounded by an ever-growing sea of wet faces and sorrow-filled gazes that agony finally gave way to anger. White, hot, bubbling rage surged through you like a midnight tide and with it came the nearly overwhelming malevolent need to hurt somebody; hurt them until they felt a fraction of what you did.

You attempted to stomp it down, to recage the monster inside, but try as you might the tiniest petty things began to nitpick at you mercilessly. So, to keep from harming someone or something you sat motionless front and center with hands clasped together silently fuming as you stared at the java metallic and chrome handled coffin.

...

It was ugly; this overly shiny monstrosity gleaming back at you. Charlie picked it out, of course, and God how Bella would have absolutely hated it.

Gah, Charlie, this looks like something a middle-aged creeper would drive.

Speaking of said man. Charlie was not in the room, having been in here earlier she heard him mention greeting people at the door while you remained firmly planted in the front row. When you first arrived you can't even look at him.

"I'm sorry for your loss."

Another nameless person. Another sympathetic face. Another mindless condolence. How many times has she heard that very sentence? Countless and each time it grates against your skin like sandpaper against wood grain. Taking layer upon layer off until your left raw and exposed.

Still, you smiled your faux genial smiles. Said your rehearsed lines.

The masquerade went on and on for an hour.

"Renée?"

A vaguely familiar voice calls out. You turn only to be captured the soft sable eyes of your oldest friend. They peered your own brimming with earnest sympathy and understanding. It eases the pressure of a rusted jagged chain constricting your heart. There are no words. She understood.

"She's gone, Sue. My baby's gone."

"Oh Renée," Your old best friend surged forward and pulled you into a tight embrace and it was then surrounded by the familiar soothing scent of earth, pine smoke and floral perfume you finally break down completely.

You buried yourself in her shoulder and fall. "I just want her back."

"Shh, shh," Sue gently rubbed your back.

"Please bring her back." You plead pitifully through the tightness in your throat.

It was too much. Too much to pain to have to bare. It bled from your lips to her soul.

She let out a small wail and whispered vehemently. "I'm so sorry. So, so sorry. I wish I could. God, knows I do."

All around unnoticed by the two women the rest of the funeral home breaks down in sobs at the mother's desperate plea, every person wanting to help, but none were able.

After the funeral, you fled. To where you haven't a clue. Just jumped into your vehicle and left. Winding road after winding road you traveled until by sheer coincidence you come upon a familiar sickening sight. Skid marks on pavement, snapped saplings and a freshly placed cross marks the last moments of your baby's life

You knelt in front of the wooden cross, reached out and gently caressed the plastic flowers reefing the top. Eyelids slipped closed and you breathed. Just breathed.

"I'm here, baby." You leaned forward and pressed a kiss on the center where the two pieces met. "Mommy's here. You can come back now."

But she didn't come back. She never would.

Years passed by and it still hasn't quite sunken in fully that Bella is actually gone. Everything has suffered under the weight of your grief. Your health, your emotional state, your marriage, your life. You went through days in a zombielistic haze. Others, like a robot. Still, life went on as usual. Seasons changed. People got older. It was just the way the world worked.

Well until now.

Frigid arms seemingly made of steel hold a terrified Renee in place. Earlier, deep in a beautiful warm fuzzy dream where she was running and playing in a meadow with Bella at her side Renée was awoken by a slight brush against her face.

Renée frantically scrambled off the bed and made a beeline toward the exit. She was nearly at the front door when she was captured.

"Letmego! Help! Somebody please hel-" Renée tried to scream only to be cut off by an icy cold hand.

"Shh, shh, calm down." A ghost of a breath hit her ear. "It's me 'Bella'."

Dark eyes widened to the size of saucers as Renée went limp. That voice that hauntingly familiar voice. It couldn't be. Bella died five years ago. It couldn't possibly be. This had to be a joke. Some sick twisted joke.

"Bella?" She breathed wanting to hear the voice again.

"Yeah," It answered back and the arms around her middle slackened before falling away. Renee slowly turned and her mind went blank by the uncomprehending sight before her. She blinked. Once. Twice. "Bella,"

An awkward little wave and smile so much like Charlie's. "Hi, Mom."

It was too much. The world came crashing down and everything bled black.

TBC...

AN: In Renee's dreams Bella appeared little because that's how all mothers see their children no matter their age. Always babies. Why did she break down in Sue's arms not Charlie's or Phil's? Well, people are funny like that. When my uncle died my aunt kept it together the entire time until my mom showed up and hugged her then she just broke down.

So sorry to any of you who has lost a child. I can not even imagine the pain.