Summary: Her Master was dead. Her old life as a Padawan was gone. Now as a survivor of Order 66, Padmé Amidala must find the believed to be Chosen One Anakin Skywalker if she wants to stand a chance against the new formed Empire.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, sadly. The characters belong to Lucasfilms, I'm only playing with them.
Special thanks to multifandom-bxtch, my beta reader. Thank you so much!
I - Amidala.
The ships that flew in the Coruscant sky were like shooting stars. She asked herself: could she make a wish? Probably not. She shouldn't make wishes to fake shooting stars, and not even to real ones. The only thing that could make her desires come true was the Force. There was only the Force in the end. At least, that was what she learned during all those years. Padmé looked towards the closed door where the Council were discussing her future. Well, maybe the Force couldn't help her this time.
"What you did wasn't that serious." The young Togruta announced whilst stood beside her. She was just a youngling even though she already had abilities that could make her someone's Padawan. But, Ahsoka Tano meant recklessness and impulsivity, something that Padmé was just starting to notice. Something that some Masters feared to have in an apprentice.
"I broke one of the Temple's rules, of course it is serious." Padmé scolded. She had changed the training droid shooting's velocity at Ahsoka's wish. Actually, the Togruta had said that it was Master Secura's order but, well, it wasn't, and some younger younglings started screaming in fear when the droid fired from all sides. "Someone could have been seriously injured."
"But no one is hurt. I'm fine. You are fine. The younglings are fine. So what is the problem? Honestly, the Masters are too dramatic sometimes. That wouldn't have been necessary if they realised I'm ready to take more challenges than a simple training droid." Ahsoka complained, clearly irritated with the situation. Padmé sighed. She too, before becoming Shaak Ti's Padawan, hated the initial training. Actually, she hated every kind of training. As if she wasn't supposed to be doing that, holding a lightsaber.
It just… sometimes it felt wrong. So… yeah. She could understand the young girl's frustration towards all of the training methods. Unfortunally it wasn't as if Padmé could help her. The moment she tried she got into this situation. Maybe Ahsoka needed to understand that things didn't work the way she wanted.
"One day you'll have a Master and the two of you will face the challenges you want together. Until that happens, please, don't do this kind of thing anymore. They only bring problems to both of us." Padmé said as gently as possible.
Ahsoka rolled her eyes.
"As you wish, your Majesty." she muttered, before leaving the fall with hurried footsteps. Most likely going towards the dorms. Padmé watched her with a heavy heart before sighing. Oh, how she hated that nickname.
People liked to use it when she did something wrong, usually to mock - she heard it almost every day. Before Mace Windu found her, Padmé was one of the really, really young children that trained in the art of politics on Naboo. She was only five, but everyone said that one day she could become Queen - at least that was what the Masters told her when she asked. That didn't happen of course and she couldn't even remember what her home world looked like or what her lessons taught her. She had only heard about it's beautiful meadows and waterfalls and nothing more. The Council tried their best to hide her old life from her since she was considered almost too old to start training, fearing that seeing Naboo would bring her old attachments back. They even changed her surname, never telling her the real one. She was known as "Amidala". One day, she asked her Master why they gave her that name. The only answer she got was "it is in your family's past" and nothing more, nor the meaning and why it was her family thing. And then, consumed by question she would never get the answer to, Padmé started wondering how five years old was almost "too old" to know things while the other children knew where they came from, their families, and exactly who they were.
But there was a few things she remembered. Like crying for weeks after being separated from her family and also her parents' name: Ruwee and Jobal. She tried once to search their names as Ruwee and Jobal Amidala, but didn't find anything. Sometimes she thought she once had a sister but wasn't sure, maybe it was just her imagination. If she had… she didn't remember her name. And there were ocasiacions when Padmé was fast that asleep she could see a children's bedroom full of books, the walls painted in yellow. Was it her old room? She would never know.
There was something that seemed fresh in her mind: her old dreams. Again, she was just five but that didn't mean she didn't have her preferences - things that she still loved. Things that she still wished to do but was unable to because of the Order she was now part of. Things like making speeches - she remembered talking too much that her parents told the visits that they were sorry for her behavior - and informing people that this or that was wrong for their health or mind. She remembered visinting the Theed Palace - the only place from Naboo that the details still remained in ther memory - with her father and listening to the meetings, curious.
She remembered wanting to the be a Senator.
But now she was a Jedi's Padawan and in her hand there was often a weapon - one that she
didn't know how to use that well. Padmé was really late in her training. For sure one of the most held back apprentices. Not that Shaak Ti would ever give up on her, no, never. The older Togruta acted like her mother even though she never noticed it herself. If she did, the pretended she didn't at least, because breaking the rule of attachements would be terrible to someone as devoted to the Order as she was.
"If you were as good with a lightsaber as you are with diplomacy, young one, you would be the best fighter in the Order." She had told Padmé during one of their missions during the Clone Wars. War that now seemed to be close do it's end, thankfully.
She heard the door opening and immediately adjusted her robes. Master Windu was the first to appear, giving her a sharp look under which she recoiled. He was followed by her own Master and then Yoda accompained by an apparently tired Obi-Wan Kenobi. The Great Master gave her a gentle smile and Padmé felt the hope that maybe she wasn't in that much trouble.
"Worry you need not, Padawan Amidala." Yoda said. "Solved, the problem is."
Padmé sighed with relief.
"Thank you, Master Yoda."
"Ask Plo Koon to speak with Young Tano, we will." He added.
Padmé shook her head. Damn. Ahsoka would be so furious.
"She is just a young girl…" She tried to save the young Togruta from a long speech about responsability and following the rules.
"Even young girls must follow the rules, my apprentice." Shaak Ti said. Padmé stared at ther Master dressed in dark robes. The long lukkus, the kind and calm expression that was always present. "Be thankful that you two didn't cause that much of a problem."
"That doesn't mean that what happened wasn't taken into account by the Council. The children could have been severly harmed if that droid kept functioning." Mace Windu pronounced. Padmé respected him, of course, most Jedi did. But she couldn't help but feel frustrated by every word he said. He never seemed pleased with her and honestly, she sometimes felt like he didn't take her seriously. She would never ignore his advices and wisdom, her personal feelings didn't matter when talking about being a Jedi. It was hard, but she tried to give him a look of apology.
"So we have to thank my apprentice's fast reasoning to turn it off, shouldn't we?" Shaak Ti giggled. Padmé's heart filled with gratitude for her Master in that moment, always defending her. Always taking her side. Always showing the good things Padmé did. "Now she knows what happens when following Young Tano's wishes."
"Yes, Master. I learned my lesson." Padmé tried to hide the smile that was starting to appear on her lips.
"Very well." Yoda said at last, giving her another smile. "Finished, this talk is. To our duties, we must return. Good night Master Ti, Young Amidala."
Receiving one last look of rebuke off Master Windu and a kind one from Yoda, she saw them both leaving the hall. Padmé's brown eyes went to the only Master that didn't say a word. Master Kenobi left as quickly and as silent as he appeared, his robes flitting, his exhaustion even more apparent on his walk. Padmé frowned and looked at Shaak Ti.
"What happened to him?" She asked curiously.
Shaak Ti shook her head.
"We should not worry about Master Kenobi's problems, my young Padawan." The Master began to walk in calm, steady footsteps. Padmé obviously accompained her. "I'm afraid he is not the same since his Master's death and when his apprentice left the Order… Well, there is no more heartbreaking feeling to a Jedi than the feel of being incapable of teaching."
Of course she heard that story. About the Sith Lord Master Kenobi had defeated and how powerful and clever he was, almost as Mace Windu and Master Yoda, about his Master's death during that battle that took place in her home planet. She didn't know much about the apprentice, though, Padmé always isolated herself from the others - especially other Padawans. Not that she didn't like them, no. It's just… well, she felt ashamed and they didn't really like to wait for her during little missions they had together. She was smart and intelligent - probably the best negotiator among all of them, perhaps the best in the Order - but that wasn't everything that made a Jedi a Jedi. She needed to be a fighter. And unfortunally, Padmé wasn't the best one. She wasn't even a good one. And everyone had heard about Master Kenobi's Padawan and how powerful he was. How he was a warrior that one day would become one of the best Jedi's in centuries. For the same reasons she never talked with the rest of the Padawan's group, she never met him in person. And couldn't even if she wanted, he was always on missions with Kenobi.
When he left, everyone was shocked. Padmé was curious and… well, disappointed. He clearly didn't think about his Master when he did that. Didn't he stop for a moment and think about how unfair it was to Master Kenobi to spent all of those years in teaching him just to see his student leave as if it meant nothing?
Padmé would never do that.
"I hope you do not feel that way because of me…. Incapable of teaching, I mean." Padmé said immediataly. She knew she wasn't the best, even though she tried, even though she trained and feared that her innability to become what people expected of her might make Shaak Ti question herself as her Master.
Sometimes she stared at the Senate across Coruscant and wondered how different things would have been if she was doing what she loved. If her naive dream had come true. With those thoughts, she felt as if she was making Shaak Ti waste her time on her, just as Kenobi's apprentice did with his own Master. It just wasn't fair. So, she tried to compensate in the best possible way by always being there when her Master needed her, by learning what she needed to learn, by always listening to the Togruta's words and doing what she asked of her. It was the least she could do, to thank her.
"You are what makes me most proud, Padmé. You have difficulties, of course. Everyone has. But you never stoped trying your best. Today's situation examplifies that! I mean, you could have lied but no, you said it was your fault, you even defended Young Tano's recklessness. Even Mace Windu didn''t say bad things… well, not as many as he could." Shaak Ti laughed and the apprentice did as well. The Togruta placed a hand at Padmé's shoulder, staring at her with a kind expression. "The Force wanted you here and it knows exactly what should be done. Trust it and trust yourself."
To listen to those words was easier than following them. But Padmé just nodded in silence and they returned their calm pace, walking by the library and the training room. They talked a little about everything but specially about when Padmé's trails would take place. Shaak Ti believed that they would happen someday soon. Padmé doubted that.
"This war should be considered as your trial. I've lost count of the times you helped me with the negotiations." The Togruta said, clearly displeased. Maybe she even tried to share that idea with the Council. Padmé knew the results even without asking.
"Well, I bet they take the fighting part of it into consideration and you know as much as I do how good I am at that." She said sarcastically, snorting. They stopped before a huge window. Now, what illuminated the grand capital was the appartments' lights, clubs and other estabilishements of the city. With a worried expression, the Padawan looked at her Master. "I… I just don't want you to feel responsible if they don't happen soon, Master, you are the best teacher I could ever have. What is coming is the result of my own actions."
Shaak Ti smilled.
"I'll remember that just so you can feel better the taste of your own victory when it comes, my friend." She was always so optimistic. Padmé knew that discussing with the woman beside her was wasting her time. After all, Shaak Ti knew more fallacies and arguments than many politicians arond the galaxy.
Returning to look at the view, Padmé frowned when she noticed ships landing near the Temple. Figures in the distance started to come out of them, all with armors and blasters. After many missions besides them, she knew who they were.
"Clones?" She inquired, confused. "What are they doing here?"
"Some of them will go with some Masters during their missions tomorrow. Besides, the streets need more protection. According to the Chanceller, civillians and Jedis must be protected if there is a chance of a fight here in Coruscant." The Togruta explained with a calm voice.
"We don't need protection and last time I checked, we were responsible for maintaining peace. This is ridiculous." She didn't want to look at her Master at that moment, so, she left her stare fixed on the clone troopers that were arriving and walked in different directions in separated groups. "Palpatine is taking control of the whole Senate and now he wants to control us. That is what this means."
"You are seeing too much where there is nothing at all." Shaak Ti almost rolled her eyes. Because she looking at the troopersin the moment, Padmé didn't notice it.
"I think it is you that is seeing nothing when there is too much to see, Master." Padmé kept her voice controlled. Those were personal feelings, her beliefs. She couldn't ignore them. "Palpatine has control over the Senate and no one talks about it. No one sees how wrong that is. No one does anything. We are becoming exactly what he wants to destroy."
"You speak about democracy." Shaak Ti pointed out. Padmé didn't respond so she continued. "Yet, the Chanceller is there because of it. Don't tell me you have lost faith in the Republic."
"Never. I just… I just don't trust Palpatine." She finally spitted it out. "And none of his actions made me believe that I should. This war would have ended by now if he had invested in diplomatic solutions instead of creating an army. He basically declared the war and now we are all suffering because of it. We see our… friends, brothers, dying by our side during our missions, Master." She closed her eyes. Yes, she still could see them. Could still feel helpless about helping them. Once again, Padmé felt that it wasn't her place. If whe was somewhere else she could have helped, she could have saved them by now. But no, right here is where she was, she was powerless. "I've heard Bail Organa mention that the Senate gave Palpatine more powers. He was as displeased as I am."
"Bail Organa is a Senator. You are a Jedi. Mind your place, Padmé." Shaak Ti was serious and her tone harsh. It wasn't personal, but it hurt nonetheless. It was a reminder that she didn't have anyone to discuss these things with. Even if she and Shaak were extremely close they were also extremely different. "It isn't in politics." She had heard that milions times before. This time it was different since the situation was another. The Jedi were in question here as well. It made Padmé frustated that they didn't win they were loosing their influence, their power and their numbers. "It is about time you left your childish dreams behind you. It is the only way you can go ahead."
Padmé wanted to ask if that was what the Force wanted her to do but she already knew the answer she would receive. That she needed to medidate and let time take it's road. That the Force was not an open book full of knowledge in front of you. You needed to unravel its mysteries, its codes.
Then, another thing came into her mind. Her Master's words about missions. Suddenly, she was afraid. So afraid.
"Master, has a mission been designated to you?" She tried to hide the dread she felt with that thought. She tried, but failed. Shaak Ti noticed.
"I'm travelling to Corellia tomorrow morning." The woman said lowing her head to try to hide her expression. Padmé was shaking her head. That war, now close to its end, was getting worse and worse. With Dooku's death by the hand of Master Plo Koon and Mundi, the Separatists were furious and the Republicans eager to end with who was left. "Master Kenobi is going to the Utapau System where we believe Grivious is hiding. With his death, this war will finally end. Yoda is going to…"
"Let me go with you." Padmé pratically begged, interrupting her Master. She could hear the Force screaming at her, telling her that this was a bad ideia, that something terrible was coming. Not only to her Master but to her as well. Something will go wrong and destroy them both. It was sudden, this Force warning, but powerful. Extremely powerful. "You will need every help possible."
"The clones are going with me, Padmé." Shaak Ti said still not looking at her.
"They are not your apprentices, I am. My place is at your side protecting you. You can't expect me to let you go to a planet full of smugglers and thiefs. If we are going to end our jobs in this war, we must do it together." Her voice was almost strident. Why was she so afraid? Why did she feel like the clones wouldn't be able to protect Shaak? Why the Force was in turmoil and her Master, that always seemed to be one with it, didn't seem to hear those warnings? Padmé knew that she needed to go. She just knew. The woman that basically raised her was denying her protection and that was unbelievable because, probably for the first time, it would be necessary.
"Your place is here, at the Temple. I feel it Padmé, you will as well." The gentle fingers of the Togruta were Padmé's face, carresing her cheeks. The brunette shook her head, closing her eyes. The Force! It was telling her the same thing as before, nothing had changed. The same message that danger was coming to both of them. Why couldn't the other feel it too? "We have been separated before and this time won't be different. Do not fear for me, young Padawan, do not fear at all. Trust the Force."
I'm doing exactly that and it is telling me to fear tomorrow, because you will be in danger and I won't be by your side. So, what should I do? The younger women thought, confused, feeling in the dark.
Padmé closed her eyes in hopes of finding the truth in those lines, a landscape, a color, any message. She could not see anything but the feeling of dread and fear that was still inside. Maybe she was wrong and there was nothing to fear. Perhaps her Master was really right and her place was in the temple, waiting for news. She tried to smile but ended up giving a forced one. Shaak Ti putted her hands inside her robes.
"At least let me say that you should rest, Master." The words were controlled, hard, unemotional. "After all, you have a long journey tomorrow."
Padmé turned and walked toward her bedroom, ignoring the cry of her name by Shaak Ti. She felt somewhat betrayed and totally disgusted by the situation and her Master's choice. If her Master had not noticed her internal storm, her Padawan, so really nothing could be done. Shaak Ti will not change her mind. As an apprentice, Padmé should be at her side. There should be a discussion about it. It was practically a law of the Jedi.
She entered her chambers. She locked the door. Padmé did not want her Master visiting to reinforce the importance of her being left behind. She really would not change her thought's about it. Shaak Ti had to be protected even being an amazing fighter and Force user. As a Padawan, this service was up to her and not some clones.
Padmé heard a series of beeps. Turning, she saw the familiar astromech droid coming towards her. R2D2 seemed to notice her distress and she smilled. Oh, her little friend. Always wanting to know what happened.
"I'm okay, little guy. I promise." She said rouching beside it and stroking the metal as if he was a pet. He mas more than that. He was her only company since she was five years old, when the Queen at the time gave it to her as a gift for being the first Force sensitive child discovered in the planet. "I'm just… tired."
More beeps.
"Yes, you can rest too. Go ahead. " The brunette laughed. The astromech rolled to the other side of her small and simple bedroom, turning off after a small beep of 'goodnight'. Padmé sighed and layed on her bed, closing her eyes, trying to turn her thoughts off.
Her sleep was turbulent.
In her dream, she was in the Council room. The Masters were all sitted in their chairs, studying someone that was in the middle. Padmé looked towards and noticed it was a child, a little girl with brown curls and light brown eyes as well. She was dressed in a yellow small dress, colorful ribbons in her hair, a shy smile in her lips. Shaak Ti was the only one smilling back.
The scene changed and Padmé didn't dream of Togruta as she had imagined, but with sand. A vast sea of dark sand. A humanoid figure, lost, crying for help. Padmé tried to run to it. This person needed water! She had water with her, she could help him or her and make all the difference. Padmé could save a life.
A red lightning bolt struck right in front or her, making her fly back. She looked around looking for the person who needed her help. The desert now looked black and white and what before had little life now had no life at all. The person was gone and Padmé cried. She cried for taking so long. She cried because she didn't make it. Then something appeared in front of her. Huge. Tall.
Using a mask.
Artificial respiration was all she heard before the red lightning came back, this time in her direction.
She awoke alarmed, panting. Padmé rubbed her eyes, trying not to think of red flashes and the dark sand. Honestly, what strange dream was that? The young woman looked around the simple room: gray, a low bed and three available Jedis garments hanging on hooks behind the door. There was a clock on the wall, made of wood. A watch that would be wrong because it certainly was not so late in the morning.
Or was it?
She stood up and running putted the first pair of boots she saw, tying the fastest garments as she could. Padmé began her way through the halls at high speed. Needed to get on track before the ships went away. Needed to wish luck to her Master. Padmé needed to show that she was not as upset as before, that she wasn't really mad at Shaak Ti. Just needed to say good luck to the Togruta.
All she saw when she arrived there were two small ships. Looking around, she could not find a sign of Shaak Ti. Padmé ran her hands through her hair in frustration. It was not possible. She spotted a red-haired and bearded man walking towards one of the spacecrafts. He had his head down, staring at something he carried in his hands.
"Master Kenobi!" She screamed, running towards him. "Master Kenobi!".
He stopped, turning to face her. Obi-Wan had green eyes incredibly kind and somehow sad. Padmé knew him to be a person somewhat entertaining and generous, even though she never really talked to him.
"Yes? Do you need something?" He asked with a frown, studying her figure as if trying to recognize who she was.
Padmé cleared her throat.
"I was wondering where Master Ti would be?" She asked nervously. Padmé even tried to hide how much she was terrified by the idea of Shaak being gone thinking that Padmé was mad at her. It would be heartbreaking. She did not know how long the master would be out, anyway. "I mean, she certainly…"
"I'm afraid to say that the Master Ti's ship already took off, my dear." His voice was full of sympathy. When he saw Padme's face become sad, Obi-Wan putted a hand on her shoulder. "You are her Padawan, aren't you? Amidala? She told me a lot about you."
"Not many spetacular things, I'm afraid."
"Oh! Quite the opposite. Extremely spectacular things." The Master laughed and Padmé allowed herself a smile. She desolated inside but did not want to be disrespectful to him. After all, it was the kindness she needed at the time. "Do not worry. I'm sure she knows you wish her the best of luck. Certainly Master Ti understands."
"I wish I had just said that personally." Padmé simply said in a sigh. She looked at him and forced a smile. "Thanks anyway, Master Kenobi. And at the circumstances, I wish a good mission for you."
Obi-Wan smiled.
"Thank you, Amidala. Thank you very much." He looked over his shoulder, seeing the clones waiting in front of the ship. He took a long breath. "May the Force be with all of us after all."
Padmé just nodded silently. These were the words that Shaak Ti deserved to hear before leaving. "May the Force be with you, Master." Yes, it was what needed to be said. She felt even worse. She was the worst apprentice in the world at that moment. As Padmé watched Obi-Wan go, she could not help but notice that what he carried was a braid. A braid looked like the one that she wore. A Padawan braid.