He knows it is one of those days the minute he wakes up.

He feels as if he is gazing at the world around him through a haze. The colors around him are dull and he feels as if he can hardly breathe as he looks around himself.

He closes his eyes and forces himself to count to ten, praying to whatever being existed that he was just overreacting and that the haze would be gone once he opened his eyes once again.

He opens his eyes and his heart drops.

It is still there.

A sigh escapes his mouth at this, but he still drags himself out of his bed.

Life does not stop after all, even for this damn haze surrounding him.

He forces himself out of his pajamas and into his work suit, wincing as the tight material comes on.

He wonders if he can get away with wearing his comfortable and loose pajamas, but he quickly disregards the idea.

He knew that Kirigiri would never tolerate such behavior. Besides, if he even managed to get past her in such an outfit, there would be no doubt that his boyfriend would make a snarky comment on it.

On a normal day, he would be able to laugh it off, knowing that he meant no harm and that his boyfriend was being his normal, sarcastic self.

Today, however, he is not sure if he could deal with such a comment.

He scoffs at his behavior as he heads down to his kitchen, hating every second he is forced to endure the presence of this never ending fog.

In an attempt to disperse it, he checks his cell phone, hoping to see if anything actually good was awaiting him there.

But of course, all he has is hate messages from Touko for dating Byakuya, Hagakure begging him to ask Byakuya for a loan to give him, and Kirigiri simply saying that he was going to run late for work that day if he did not get out of bed.

He groans at this and pockets the phone, though he wishes he could just throw it at a wall.

He wishes that there was a text from Aoi or Byakuya, but he knew that Aoi was on a mission at the moment for the Future Foundation and less likely to text him, while his boyfriend prefered to just call him if something was needed.

The thought does not help his mood.

He mindlessly shuffles through his refrigerator, curious to see if there was anything in there that he could eat for breakfast. Sadly though, he soon realizes that he was out of food and would have to settle for cafeteria food from the Future Foundation as well as go shopping that afternoon before he went home.

Just great.

He entertains the thought of just going to Byakuya's home that afternoon instead, knowing that his mood would surely lighten up when he was with him and he would not have to do anything but curl up next to his boyfriend and sleep off this haze. In fact, his lips form a smile at the thought, his first real smile of the day.

His hand is halfway to his phone to call and ask him before it freezes.

Wait…

No, he could not do that.

There was no way that Byakuya would allow such a thing. Surely he had more important things to do than deal with his own issues. He was higher up in Future Foundation after all.

It probably would just come off as clingy or annoying if he tried asking him to do such a thing.

No, the right thing to do was just suck it up and deal with it.

He sighed at the thought and swore that the haze around him seemed to get heavier as he did so.

This day was really not going to get any better, was it?

He glanced at the clock once more and felt himself pale.

He was over an hour late for work.

He quickly grabbed his briefcase and his suit jacket, panic overcoming him as he practically ran out the door of his house.

He was so screwed.

He could already see what would happen as soon as he made it to the office.

Kyoko would give him an unamused look and scold him for sleeping in for the tenth time that month. Byakuya would be standing nearby while rolling his eyes and ask him if he even bothered to be on time anymore.

Then there were the rest of his colleagues.

They would eye him from the sidelines, faceless in a sea of black and white suits. Still, their words would fill the air around him the minute Kyoko and Byakuya were gone.

"Oh, look who finally decided to show up."

"Try to be on time next time, alright?"

"Honestly, how can you be the Ultimate hope when you can not even get to an office on time?"

The last phrase haunts him the most.

The Ultimate Hope.

What a joke that was.

How could he of all people be considered the Ultimate Hope? All he had done was use reason to murder people he had once held so dear to him.

He feels his panicked strides slow down at the thought.

He.. He had murdered them… ?

No.. no! It was Junko's fault! It was her plan all along after all!

But… He was the one who set it all off right? He had been the fool who had let Sayaka stay in his room, allowing her to start the murder plot that had kickstarted the entire disaster. If he had just been a little more smarter and cautious, then the murder plot would not have occurred and they could have found a way to defeat Junko together, before turning on themselves like animals.

So in a way.. That meant that he was the one who caused everyone to die.

The thought makes him want to throw up.

He slowly comes to a stop beside the Future Foundations building, his heart pounding and his hands shaking.

He.. He did it… He killed his friends.

His eyes begin to water as all of their face appear before him in his mind.

Sayaka.. Mukuro… Leon.. Chihiro… Mondo… Kiyotaka… Hifumi... Celestia… Sakura…

Their deaths were all his fault.

He barely bites back the scream filling his throat as the haze around him only grows stronger.

What right did he, their murderer, have to be living right now?

They.. They had so much going for them when they died.

They were young people with impressive talents and dreams as high as the sky.

And him? He was just the poor sucker who was roped in under the false pretense that he was equal to them.

He did not deserve to live, not if it meant that they had to die in his place for him to live.

He fell to his knees, tears streaming down his face as grief filled him. He barely notices that the haze that surrounded him previously was now began to engulf him entirely.

His fault.. His fault…

It was all his fault.

Then he hears it.

"Yo.. Is anyone here? I swore I just heard something man…"

He freezes as he heard Hagakure's confused voice fill the air around him.

He could not be seen like this! If Hagakure saw him this upset, he would surely tell Kyoko and Byakuya, leading to them actually trying to help him.

He did not deserve their pity, did not deserve their help.

It was his fault that they had suffered so much in the first place after all

Quickly, he wipes his face and bites back his pain, before getting up and walking toward his former classmate with a fake smile.

"Hey Yasuhiro! It's just me, I overslept a bit again."

His friend looks up from his position by the Future Foundation entrance, clearly on guard duty for the day. He grins at him, cheerfully waving a hand at him.

"Hey Naegins! Nice to see you! Better get in there quick, otherwise, Kyoko and Byakuya will have your tail!" he joked.

He smiled back at his friend, his heart aching as he did so.

He did not deserve to be treated in such a nice manner from his former classmate.

Why could Hagakure not see him as the murderer he was?

Still, he forced himself into the building, wincing a bit as he spotted the duo waiting for him in the lobby.

He felt his smile weaken and his heartbeat quicken at the sight of the Former Ultimate Detective and the Former Ultimate Affluent Progeny.

Kyoko… Byakuya…

Surely they would eventually realize what he truly was on the inside.

Maybe they already had.

He can feel his hands begin to shake slightly at the thought.

Were they pretending to be his friend, and in Byakuya's case, his boyfriend? Were they just luring him into a trap of friendship and love, only to betray him in the worse way in a case of revenge for their fellow students?

He would not blame them if they were planning that though.

It was only what he deserved,

Still, he makes his fake smile stronger, if only to keep up his illusion of happiness.

"Sorry guys! I accidentally slept through my alarm again." he admitted sheepishly.

Byakuya rolls his eyes at this.

"That much is obvious." he snapped.

Kirigiri sends Byakuya a slight glare at that as his heart aches at the annoyance in the heir's words.

Was that all he was to Byakuya, an annoyance?

He can feel his heart break at the thought, but somehow, he is pleased by the thought as well.

At least he was on the path to see the second murderer who had fallen for him.

Speaking of murderers, he soon notices Toko hiding behind a nearby pillar, sending him a dark glare.

She seems to notice his gaze though, as her glare somehow becomes darker upon seeing him.

"B-bastard! H-how could a l-lazy person such as you be with Master Byakuya and not me!" she demanded.

Byakuya now turns to send a glare at her, but he has to admit she makes a fair point.

He really did not deserve to be with someone like Byakuya.

Byakuya had his entire life in front of him. He was clever, cunning, intelligent, not to mention down right gorgeous. He could whatever and whoever he wanted in life, yet he chose to degrade himself to someone like him.

It honestly was not a fair trade.

"Enough of this nonsense. Let's just get to work. We have wasted enough time today." Kyoko suddenly announces, giving all three of them strict looks.

Byakuya scoffs at this, but abides, turning on his heel and walking toward his office.

"Come on Naegi. I have some paperwork that needs to be filled out." he orders, not bothering to wait for him.

"C-coming!" he says quickly, racing to follow him as his thoughts darkened once more.

Naegi. Never Makoto.

That was the one honor that even Byakuya deemed too good for him.

He did not even deserve to be called by his first name.

Sure, they had been dating for about a year if you counted the time before the Tragedy, but never had Byakuya allowed him to call him by his first name. He was only allowed to in his thoughts.

On a good day, this would hurt him. But today, it only made sense.

He notes that Kyoko gives him a strange look as he passes her, but he pushes the thought away.

He did not deserve to even entertain the notion that she cared about him.

After all, he was nothing.

Nothing but a murderer.

I apologize so badly you guys! I haven't been on much since my degree is hell and i didn't realize what had happened when this initially went up. Hopefully this is much more better.