"And then she said - you won't believe this, Dorcas - she said that since Frank's her only child and she has no daughter to pass it down to, I have to wear this dress that's been in her family for over 10 centuries. That thing is probably older than Merlin himself. There's at least 10 charms on it just to hold the fabric together!"

Guinevere glances across the table to exchange a look with Lily. Her best friend shares a similar exhaustion behind her eyes.

Alice has been complaining about her wedding plans for at least half an hour.

Even Dorcas, who shares Alice's frustration about Augusta Longbottom's ridiculous demands, is rubbing at her temples.

"Alice, you wouldn't have this problem if you just put your foot down," she insists.

Alice looks pale at the idea of standing up to her imposing future mother-in-law.

"I want to live to see my own wedding, thanks Dorcas."

Dorcas leans back in her chair and lets out a sigh of frustration, running a hand through her dark locks.

"Marls, grab me a firewhiskey before I lose it."

Marlene rushes off to the kitchen, most likely sensing that Dorcas is far from joking.

For the past two weeks, Guinevere has been all but living in Dorcas and Marlene's flat. She and Sirius are in a bit of a standoff; he spends his time at James and Lily's place, while she spends her time here.

At least James and Lily won't have to worry about having a baby anytime soon. Guinevere and Sirius are making absolutely sure that neither of them have any free time to make one.

"Have two weddings," Lily suggests. "A big one for Frank's mum, and then a private one just for you and Frank."

Alice raises an eyebrow.

"I barely have time for one wedding, Lils."

Guinevere isn't sure if Alice is referring to the fact that she's constantly doing the Order's bidding, or the fact that she could die at any moment. Either way, she's right. As it is, they're all going to have trouble finding a day when they're all available to attend the ceremony.

Marlene chooses that moment to walk back into the living room, holding a half empty glass of firewhiskey. She hands it to Dorcas, who takes it with a huff of relief.

"Does all this really matter?" Marlene asks.

The rest of the girls all give her a sideways glance. All except Dorcas, who is too busy pouring the bottle directly into her mouth.

"It's my wedding, Marlene," Alice states.

"A wedding is just one moment in time. Whether you wear a dress or a rubbish bin, you're gonna be spending the rest of your life with Frank. Isn't that all that you should care about? Your future together?"

Guinevere swallows hard.

She and Sirius aren't even engaged, but she feels the words having an effect on her as well. That's Marlene's specialty, being able to make her friends think.

Alice looks down at the floor. A faint blush flashes across her cheeks.

"I guess the dress isn't super important…"

Lily reaches across the table and places a comforting hand on Alice's wrist.

"Marlene's right. I mean, just look at my wedding. It wasn't exactly what I dreamed of as a kid, but it got the job done."

What that job was, Guinevere still isn't exactly sure of. The idea of marriage, especially during a war, is mystifying to her. It seems frivolous. Why waste precious time gaining a piece of paper legally binding you to someone else? Especially when they could die at any moment? Why not wait until the war ends?

But when she looks at Lily and sees how she glows with joy every time James walks into a room, she begins to question herself.

So maybe Lily and Alice are the exceptions, but Guinevere will sure as hell never marry during this war. No matter how long it lasts.

"Whatever you wear, you're gonna light up the entire room with your smile when you set eyes on Frank," Marlene teases, earning a sly smile from Alice.

A knock on the door causes the girls to freeze in their seats.

They've all heard stories of Death Eaters asking for entrance into unsuspecting peoples' homes, only to pounce on them the minute they open the door. It's like a game to them, seeing their faces fall when they realize who's really at the door.

Dorcas is the first to spring into action. She snatches her wand off the table and gives the rest of the girls a pointed look. The message is clear: they are to stay quiet and let her handle this herself.

Guinevere's lips set into a grim line and clutches at her own wand like it's her only lifeline.

Dorcas moves swiftly and silently up to the door, holding her wand out in front of her. The girls all hold their breath as she looks through the peephole.

As soon as she peeks through the other side, her shoulders slump in relief. It's a sign that the rest of them can relax as well. It's not a Death Eater at the door.

"James Potter, you scared the shit out of me!" Dorcas hisses as she opens the door.

Guinevere peers over Dorcas's shoulder and sees the mop of shaggy black hair that is unmistakably James Potter. She's not sure whether to be relieved that it's only James, or ready to blast him into oblivion for scaring her.

"Sorry, sorry! Now can you please put down your bloody wand? You're making me nervous."

Shooting him one last glare, she shoves her wand into her pocket and steps aside to let him in.

James marches right up to Lily and grabs her by the hand.

"Lils, I finally managed to get Sirius to leave. Now I would like some alone time with my wife before he decides to come back."

Lily rolls her eyes, but allows him to pull her out of her seat. She looks around the table, silently asking their permission. Guinevere doesn't think she should have to seek their approval first. She's a newlywed who was barely been able to spend time with her new husband since they married.

But that's Lily, never wanting to accidentally hurt their feelings.

"You guys mind if I…?"

"Go shag your husband?" Alice finishes for her. "No, not at all. You haven't had nearly enough time alone since you married."

"I appreciate your blessing," James replies with a wink.

That earns him a jab to the side from Lily.

"The next time I see you all better be at Alice's wedding!" she says, gathering her purse. "Otherwise I'll just have to ordain it myself in my living room."

Guinevere snorts. She can just picture it now; Alice walking down the short carpet from the bedroom to the living room in a cheap white dress while her friends throw rice out of the box at her. Oh, Augusta Longbottom would just love that.

The second the door clicks shut behind James and Lily, Dorcas leans across the table towards Guinevere, raising an eyebrow.

"You gonna go home now too or should we just move into a bigger flat to accommodate you?"

Heat flares in her cheeks. She's not sure whether to be embarrassed or angry. Sure, she's at their flat more often than not recently, but she thought they understood. She'd rather sleep on their kitchen floor than have to go home and deal with the stifling silence between her and Sirius.

"If I'm bothering you that much, you could have just —,"

"That's not what I meant and you know it," Dorcas interrupts. "You can't hide from Sirius forever. You're gonna have to go home eventually."

Logically, Guinevere knows she can't hide out with her friends for much longer. But that irrational little voice in the back of her head asks her, would it really be that bad to just move from couch to couch for the rest of her life?

"I just don't feel comfortable with that right now," Guinevere replies tightly. "Sirius and I both need time away from each other to… think."

Alice slips a sympathetic hand onto her shoulder.

"Guin, I think you've done a little too much thinking."

Guinevere gives Alice a hard glare.

"Says the girl who spent the last hour complaining about a dress."

Alice's hand leaves her shoulder as if she's just been slapped. The second Guinevere sees her friend's hurt expression, guilt floods her.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean that," she groans, resting her head in her hands. Alice gives her a small, pitying smile.

"You know, you're always so quick to apologize for everything. Why won't you extend the same courtesy to Sirius?"

"Because she's trying to destroy her own relationship, that's why," Dorcas cuts in.

Guinevere goes red in the face at the accusation.

"Did it ever occur to either of you that maybe Sirius is the one in the wrong here?" she asks sardonically.

The words taste bitter on her tongue. She feels like a petulant little girl in a dumb little fight with her first boyfriend. But she's not a child and this isn't a small tif. It's not fair to place all the blame on Sirius. She thought she was better than that.

"I think you both have some blame to share," Marlene cuts in, mirroring Guinevere's own thoughts. "You've both been avoiding each other. Now one of you has to be the bigger person and end it."

Guinevere was ashamed to admit, she didn't want to be the bigger person. So much has been asked of her already. Why should she have to do this as well?

"Maybe it's better this way," she says, her voice tight. "If we're going to stop speaking for weeks after every row, then maybe we should just—,"

"If you finish that sentence, so help me, I'll break my chair over your back," Dorcas threatens.

Guinevere purses her lips, feeling an outrage she knows she has no right to be feeling. She wants to be annoyed at her friends for being overly invested in her love life and telling her what she should and should not do. But wasn't it her who took their advice to get together with him in the first place?

"You can't keep pulling this self-sacrificing rubbish every time things get a little hard," Dorcas continues. "I know you think Sirius would be safer without you, but he's a bloody adult who can make his own decisions about who he wants to date, and he decided on you."

Dorcas is right; for some insane reason, Sirius decided he wants to date her. Her, a muggleborn witch with no sense of adventure or any fortune to speak of. Not like him.

"If you really care for someone, shouldn't you make sacrifices for them?" Guinevere asks, feeling herself grasping at straws. "What if breaking up with Sirius is, like, my ultimate sacrifice to keep him safe? I mean, what if—,"

"GUIN!"

Guinevere blinks at Marlene's sudden outburst.

When she's angered her quiet friend, she knows she's done something very wrong.

"That's selfish!" she insists, her pale cheeks turning a bright red. "You're not sacrificing anything for him. You're doing it for yourself, because you're still as scared as you were before you started dating. Do you think you're the only one who's scared, Guinevere?"

Guinevere flinches at Marlene's use of her full name. She can't remember the last time any of her friends have called her anything but 'Guin'.

"I'm scared too. But I can't let that stop me from being happy! I'm a pureblood dating a half-blood and I'm scared every damn day—,"

"Marls!" Dorcas growls warningly.

Guinevere stares at Dorcas. Then at Marlene. Then back to Dorcas. Then back to Marlene.

Marlene is a pureblood… She says she's dating a half-blood… Dorcas is trying to get her to shut up… Dorcas is a half-blood…

The dots connect before her eyes.

"You guys… are dating…?"

Dorcas and Marlene exchange a look that Guinevere can't seem to interpret. It's strange, not being able to understand their silent discussion. They've all been friends for so long that they don't always need words to convey their thoughts. But this nonverbal conversation Dorcas and Marlene are having…

It's all the confirmation Guinevere needs.

"Since when?" she sputters.

Marlene blushes and rubs the back of her neck.

"Only a few months," she admits.

"Everything's been so crazy lately we just didn't know when to tell you all," Dorcas cuts in. "And we didn't know if the rest of you would think it was weird for us to be dating within our own friend group. And…"

She trails off, and it hits Guinevere that this is the first time she's ever seen Dorcas at a loss for words.

Dorcas and Marlene have always been the closest out of all the girls. Even Guinevere and Lily, who met within the first week of their first year, didn't have nearly the same bond as them. Dorcas, ever the hot-head, is instantly calmed by just a single touch from Marlene. And Marlene, sweet and quiet and cautious, comes alive in Dorcas's presence.

How Guinevere couldn't see it before, she has no idea.

"You two are… perfect for each other."

Both Marlene and Dorcas are visibly relieved at the news. Guinevere feels her heart clench at that.

Did they really think she wouldn't take the news well?

"Thanks, Guin," Marlene breathes. "That means a lot to both of us."

Dorcas just gives her a sly grin.

"Now do you see why I want you out of our flat so bad?"

Guinevere rolls her eyes. She's only known about their relationship for a few minutes and they're already worse than Lily and James.

But Dorcas does have a point, she should leave. When is the last time she's been in her flat for anything other than grabbing a change of clothes?

And she still hasn't unpacked that last bloody box.

Marlene was right when she said Guinevere was just scared and selfish. Destroying her relationship with Sirius is a desperate attempt to lessen the guilt should she ever be the reason he gets hurt.

Or worse.

It's cowardly and she knows it.

"Dorcas… You're right."

Dorcas raises an eyebrow.

"About what exactly."

"About me trying to sabotage my own relationship," she admits. "I tried to do it before we even started dating and I'm still doing it now. I've been such a pathetic, spineless git!"

Marlene laughs and reaches across the table to place her hand atop Guinevere's.

"I wouldn't go that far, Guin. You were scared. Everybody gets scared. What matters is overcoming it."

Guinevere gives her friend a toothy smile, and her soul feels lighter than it's been in a very long time.

"You know, mates, I think I'm gonna go back home. I have a box I want to unpack…"

It's just beginning to rain when Guinevere apparates to the park nearby her flat. The soft pitter patter of raindrops gaining in intensity promise a bigger storm to come.

By the time she reaches her door, her clothes are completely soaked.

Droplets of water slip from her hair, dripping down her forehead and getting caught in her thick eyelashes. With bleary eyes she tries to put her key in the door. After a few failed attempts, she finally manages to shove it in the keyhole and cautiously open the door.

She's greeted by a wand being shoved in her face.

It annoys her rather than alarms her. She can easily recognize her boyfriend's wand.

Sirius lets out an annoyed huff when he realizes it's only Guinevere and shoves his wand into his belt.

"Could you have been any louder?" he hisses. "And why are you dripping water all over the floor.

She shrugs, feeling a grin tug at her lips.

"It was raining so I decided to wash myself in the middle of the street. Save us some money on the water bill."

The teasing response seems to throw him off guard. Their only interactions these past few weeks have been terse at best. At worst, she's been downright rude to him. It's something she bitterly regrets.

What was this argument even about?

"Well…" Sirius begins. He clears his throat uncomfortably, and Guinevere has to squash down the urge to run back to Marlene and Dorcas.

That's her fear talking, and she refuses to let herself be controlled by it. Again.

"I was just about to head over to Peter's. I don't know when I'll be back. There's stuff to make sandwiches and some crisps in the pantry."

His clipped tone makes Guinevere flinch. It sounds as if they're merely roommates instead of a couple.

He turns away from her, his eyes focused on his jacket that is laying on the couch that she has told him multiple times not to lay his clothes on-

As soon as he takes a step away from her, she grabs him by the sleeve.

"Please don't go."

Even Guinevere is shocked by her own words. Her voice is nothing more than a whisper, her words far more vulnerable than she has ever been comfortable with being. She almost wishes she could take it back, but there's no way to grab the words from the air and stuff them back down her throat.

Sirius's expression flashes from shocked to confused to saddened in the span of a few seconds. His gaze flitters from the floor to the kitchen to his sleeve, trying to look at anything but her eyes.

"Guin…"

"I'm so sorry," she croaks. "I've been so caught up worrying up accidentally getting you hurt that I ended up hurting you myself. I haven't put nearly the amount of effort into this relationship that you have, and I am so, so sorry."

She watches as he glances from her hand to her face and then back again. His expression is completely unreadable. If he were to reject her, she feels as though her heart would break.

Slowly, he turns his body to face her, taking her hand in his.

"There's nothing to apologize for, Guin," he murmurs.

A shaky, relief-filled laugh escapes her throat.

He's touching her. He hasn't touched her in weeks.

She didn't realize how much she missed it.

"I have a lot to apologize for, Sirius."

He gives her a smile; one of those wide smiles full of mischief that she missed so much.

"Then we both have a lot to apologize for. Now come on, let's not stand here and argue about who's to blame. I can think of a few more… enjoyable ways we could show each other how sorry we are."

Guinevere laughs at the wolfish grin on his face and doesn't waste one more second before jumping into his arms. He immediately grips her by her thighs to keep her upright while she wraps her arms around his neck, kissing him for the first time in a long time. Her wet clothes stick to his, soaking them, but neither of them give it much notice. They're too wrapped up in each other.

Not breaking the kiss for a second, Sirius begins to lead them backwards into their bedroom.

That box can wait for just a little while longer…