*Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise.

*'A Matter of Perspective' Summary: Raph and Donnie get in way over their heads during a trip to the junkyard. Will the two of them ever make it home again?

*Author's Notes: Just in time for the holidays, I've returned with a brand new 'Shell Shot' and this one has a little bit of everything: humor, drama, feels, sarcasm, suspense, and most importantly, our two favorite middle brothers. I've been working on this story for months now, so I really, really hope everyone likes how it turned out.

Thanks so much for reading!

CJ

A Matter of Perspective

Okay, in all likelihood, we're not going to survive the night, so I want to state, for the record, this is totally my hotheaded brother's fault. I would also like to point out that the words 'I told you so' should be carved into my tombstone, in great big, bold letters for all to see. Raphael's tombstone, on the other hand, should just have the word 'meathead' inscribed across it. A fitting tribute to the idiot brother who just got us both killed.

That's right!

Killed!

I can't believe this is it…

After all those death-defying missions fighting off alien robots and homicidal ninja warriors, this is how it's all going to end? At the hands of two utterly incompetent buffoons.

It's humiliating.

Really, really humiliating.

Now, you're probably asking yourself, 'How did they get into this mess in the first place?'

Good question.

Please, allow me to briefly recap the events leading up to our imminent deaths…

It was a typical night at the lair. Leo and Raph were at each other's throats, as usual. Mikey was too distracted by his own toes to notice, also as usual. I was innocently hidden away inside my lab, doing my best to pretend I was an only child. Something I do far more often than I probably should.

Alas, my two older brothers' bickering was growing too loud to ignore, so I decided it would be the perfect time to venture topside to do some much-needed junkyard browsing. I had a wish list a mile long that I was all too eager to get started on. Getting away from my brothers for a while was just an added bonus.

Mind made up, I grabbed my bo-staff and headed towards the exit with visions of auto parts and computer components dancing in my head. Little did I know, my budding illusions were about to be dashed by a certain turtle whose nickname rhymes with geo.

Seconds after leaving the sanctity of my lab, things started to go due south…

"Where do you think you're going?"

I stopped just short of the lair's turnstiles and slowly spun around to see Leonardo scowling at me. To tell you the truth, I didn't think anyone would even notice me leaving. They normally don't, too caught up in their own little worlds to detect my presence.

"Up to the surface to look for new struts for the Shellraiser." My tone had been slightly condescending, as if Leo should've known the answer to his question. Of course I would be going up to the surface to look for parts. What else would I be doing? Well, other than maybe going to see April…

Heh-heh.

"By yourself?"

Naturally, the first thing that popped into my head was sarcastic, and I've got to admit, for a fleeting moment, I was half-tempted to go with it. But surely the line, 'No, I'm meeting up with the entire New York Philharmonic' would've earned me a scathing reminder on the importance of being respectful. I, instead, opted to tone down my answer to a more socially acceptable reply. Or at least one that wouldn't make my already agitated oldest brother break out into a lecture.

"Yeah."

It was short and sweet, but it soon became evident it was not the answer Leo was searching for. His face crinkled up like he'd just gotten a whiff of one of Mikey's strange culinary concoctions and he placed his hands on his hips, Captain Ryan-style.

So much for avoiding a lecture…

"Not with the Foot running around rampant in streets, you're not."

Again, my thoughts turned to the sarcastic side, but I somehow managed to restrain myself once more.

"But I always go up to the junkyard on my own! Why's this any different?"

"It isn't. I just think we need to start exercising more caution is all. There's no sense in taking any unnecessary risks, even if it's just a routine trip to the junkyard. I think Raph should go with you."

"What?! Why?!" My immediate older brother and I barked out these same two words in near-perfect unison, equally appalled by Leonardo's suggestion.

What a horrible idea!

"You can't possibly be serious, Leo! Searching for parts requires a certain amount of patience, and you and I both know Raph isn't exactly patient when it comes to… well, anything."

"It's true. I can't be expected to go trudging around some crappy old junkyard with Doctor Dorkenstein here. You're gonna have to find yourself a different babysitter, Fearless."

"No! I'm not! You're going with Donnie. That's my final decision."

"Is that supposed to be some kind of a threat?" For the umpteenth time this week, Raph got up Leo's face as though a challenge had been issued and he was rising to the occasion.

Naturally, Leo stood his ground, not about to back down. It was the age-old battle of egos. A war neither brother intended to lose.

"It's supposed to be an order. I am still the leader of this team." Player the 'leader' card was the verbal equivalent of going right for the throat.

Raphael, however, has always preferred hitting below the belt, in a manner of speaking.

"Actually, I'm pretty sure you're still the lame– "

"Okay! Okay!" I was quick to cut Raph off mid-insult before my impressionable baby brother heard something he shouldn't.

Besides, arguing with Leo on this was useless. His mind was obviously made up, and as he had already so aptly pointed out, he's the leader. Failure to recognize this title generally results in a long-winded lecture from Master Splinter, which is ten times worse than a Leo lecture.

In short, it was far less painful to simply accept our fate…

And so, I did.

"Well, Raph, I think it's time we get going. We gotta get there before all the good parts are taken." All I received in response to my witty comment was a growl and a homicidal glare courtesy of my temperamental big brother.

Thank Darwin looks can't actually kill…

After letting out another irritable growl, Raph stomped past me and straight through a turnstile, never even bothering to look back to see the smug expression on our oldest brother's face or to give Mikey a dirty look when he said, "Have fun picking through junk while Leo and I watch TV!"

"No, Mikey. You're going to clean your room. It's a disaster area."

"Ah, man! If I would've known you were gonna make me do that, I would've volunteered to go with Donnie!"

I couldn't help but to smirk over Mikey's whiny response, but the disgusted frown never left Raph's face, almost as if it was frozen in place.

I knew right then and there it was going to be a looooooooong night.

So, let me start off by saying this is totally Leo's fault. Maybe if he wasn't such an arrogant jerk all the time, Donnie and I wouldn't be tied up in the back of some smelly old van on our way to who the heck knows where.

This is so freaking embarrassing…

My kid brother and I are highly trained ninjas, for cripes' sake, yet here we are, captured by a couple of idiots whose combined IQ is less than Casey's jersey number. And all because Fearless went and forced me to go with my brainiac brother to the stupid junkyard.

Worst. Trip. Ever.

So help me, if we somehow manage to live through this, I'm going to crack Leo's shell into tiny little pieces and shove them up his… nose.

Not only did he get us turtlenapped, but he got me shot.

SHOT!

Let's rewind a bit so I can fill in a few of the gory details…

Okay, from the moment we arrived at the junkyard, I thought I was going to die of boredom. I'm not kidding. I actually contemplated stabbing myself with a sai just to put an end to my misery. My kid brother is such a hopeless nerd, it's painful to watch. In all honesty, you get him near a pile of junk and he's like a kid in a toy store, going on and on about this and that. Granted, I can normally tune him and his big, fancy, dictionary words out, but there are times you just can't ignore the sound of his voice. Especially when he gets all hyper about something. It's like fingernails on a chalkboard.

"This! Is! Awesome! Do you know how hard it is to find one of these babies with the carbon filaments still intact, let alone two? We really hit the jackpot tonight. And to think, I was going to skip this part of the junkyard because I searched it last week."

"It blows the mind." Of course, my little brother was too caught up in his own excitement to realize that I was completely mocking him.

And we call him the genius of the family…

"Well, it just goes to show you, it pays to leave no stone unturned. Or in this case, no pile unturned."

Donnie chuckled a bit at his comment, but I didn't. Even if I would've been in a good mood, I still wouldn't have found it the least bit funny. My brainiac brother is great at a lot of things, but clearly, making jokes is not one of those things.

Some people just aren't cut out for comedy…

Flashing a scowl at my brother, I brushed past him and headed towards the next mountain of garbage in hopes of speeding up the process. The sooner he did his thing, the sooner we could go home.

"Raph, what are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing, genius? I'm trying to hurry things up so we can get this over with."

"But you can't just go waltzing around wherever you like. You need to be stealthy about it." While Donnie spoke these words, he kept ducked behind a pile of rubbish as if to prove his point. I swear, sometimes, he acts like he's scared of his own shadow.

Throwing caution to the wind, I boldly stepped out under the glow of an overhead light and folded my arms across my chest to prove my own point.

"Why? There's nobody here but us." My voice seemed to echo throughout the junkyard as I said this, which apparently got Donnie's mask all up in a twist.

"You don't know that, Raph!"

"Who else would be dumb enough to come out here in the middle of the night?" This question immediately struck a nerve with my genius brother. He stomped towards me with his fists clenched at his sides.

"I never asked you to come with, you know?"

"Yeah, I know! Believe me I know, 'cause I never would've said yes to this!"

"Fine! I'll be sure to never ask you, then!"

"Good!"

"Good!"

Normally, after winning an argument with one of my brothers, I feel a certain sense of pride, but one look at the hurt expression on Donnie's face had me feeling a little guilty. I was about to say something, when I heard the unmistakable sound of a gunshot firing into the air.

Then, a gravelly voice rang out.

"Who are you and what're ya doin' on my property?"

I spun around to see a scraggly-looking human standing some fifty feet away, aiming the barrel of what looked to be a rifle towards my brother and I.

Ah, shell.

This was not good.

Donnie and I might be highly trained ninjas, but we sure as heck aren't bulletproof.

"I'm a really good shot, so you'd best start talkin'!"

Always the pacifist, Donnie instantly put his hands up in the air and tried to reason with the guy. "Please, sir. We don't want any trouble."

As Donnie stepped forward, the man choked up on his gun, readying to fire again. This time, in our direction. "Don't you move or I'll shoot!"

"Okay. Okay." I heard the fear in my brother's voice as he stared helplessly at the weapon pointed at us.

"Are ya some kind of aliens here to invade the planet?"

This ridiculous assumption immediately got me all worked up.

Most things do…

"Aliens?!"

"Yeah. You know? Little green men. I bet the government'd pay a whole lotta dough to get their hands on you two."

"What would aliens be doing in a dump like this, you moron?"

I'm not sure who was more offended by my comment: the creep with the gun or my little brother.

"Raph!"

I just shrugged my shoulders in response to Donnie howling my name. My brother then did his best to try to smooth things over.

"We're very, very sorry, sir. I assure you this is a fine, respectable establishment. And we certainly didn't mean to trespass on your property. There's no need for violence or alerting the government. We'll just be on our way and let you go about your business."

"You ain't goin' anywhere, freaks!"

Hearing my least favorite f-bomb instantly brought my blood to a rapid boil.

"What did you call us?" As I growled out the words, I reached for my sais, readying to take the lowlife human down.

"Raph! Guy with a rifle! Remember?" Donnie's high-pitched reminder did nothing to dissuade me. With a flick of my wrists, I twirl my sais around several rotations just for show. I couldn't help but grin as I watched the steel blades gleam in the junkyard lights above us.

Oozing with overconfidence, I boldly pointed a sai straight ahead. A threatening gesture meant to call the human's bluff. "Relax. He's not gonna shoot us. He doesn't have – "

The earsplitting crack of a rifle sounded out once more and the instantaneous sharp pain in my left arm informed me that I had grossly underestimated the crazy guy.

Should've seen that one coming.

Definitely not my smartest move ever…

"OWWWW!" Dropping to my knees, I wrapped a hand around my wounded bicep. The bullet had only grazed me, but it still hurt like shell.

"Raph!" Just as Donnie started rushing to my side, another noise sounded out. This one much quieter than a rifle, but still sinister and frightening. I looked over at my kid brother to see a small dart sticking out of the side of his neck. Donnie was quick to swat it away like it was nothing, but I could see the poorly hidden panic in his eyes. I peered over his shoulder to spy a second gunman stooped behind an old, beater car. In his hands, he held what I could only assume was a tranquilizer gun. A powerful one, no doubt, because within a matter of seconds of being shot, Donnie's whole body began to droop.

"Donnie!"

"I – I'm okay. L – Let me take a l – look at your arm."

"It's fine. Just a little nick." I quickly brushed off the attention, more concerned about my brother, who looked to be on the verge of collapsing.

Relief washed over Donnie's face for a moment before the color started to drain away from his skin. His eyes rolled back in his head and he suddenly pitched forward.

Ignoring the pain in my arm, I reached out and caught Donnie just in time to stop him from doing a faceplant into the ground. His body was totally limp in my grasp, out cold, which made my blood boil once again.

I let out a mighty roar, fully intent on avenging my unconscious brother, when I, too, was shot with that darn tranquilizer gun. Despite my best efforts not to fall victim to the same fate as Donnie, I couldn't fight off the potent effects of the drug coursing through my system. Less than a minute after being sedated, I toppled to the ground, clinging to my unresponsive brother for dear life. Trying desperately to protect him, even as I passed out.

I'm not proud to admit this wasn't my first time regaining consciousness in the back of some van. Nor was it the second. It's actually getting to be a rather unsettling trend…

It was, however, the first time I've woken up alone with Raph in the back of some van. Not a pleasant experience by any means. When yelling in my ear slit didn't succeed in getting me to open my eyes, he resorted to kicking me in the leg. I've got the contusions to prove it. Although Raph still claims the bruises came from our kidnappers.

Riiiiiiiight…

After coming to, I soon discovered that my ankles were bound together and both my wrists were securely tied behind my back. A quick once-over of Raph revealed that he, too, was tied up. He was also bleeding, but not at an alarming rate. Thankfully, he appeared to be right about the bullet just nicking him. Still, it's never a good thing to see your brother lying there bleeding.

"You okay, Raph?"

"Just peachy." The growl in my brother's voice was strangely comforting. Almost like Raph isn't Raph without the distinct bark in his tone. "I wonder where these jerks are taking us."

"Probably to some top-secret government facility where their leading scientists will conduct all kinds of painful experiments and examinations before dissecting our bodies for research purposes."

Even in the scant lighting of the back of the van, I could see that Raph was glaring at me with those fierce green eyes of his. Clearly, he wasn't thrilled by my answer.

"What? You asked!"

I gave my shoulders a slight shrug and blinked at Raph as though I was the picture of innocence. After all, the only thing I had done was speak the truth…

"So, what do we do now, brainiac?"

It never fails. Every time we get into any kind of trouble, my brothers expect me to have all the answers just because I'm the 'smart' one. Well, that doesn't make me an escape artist.

"How should I know?"

"You're the genius!"

"Yeah, and you're the shell for brains who got us into this predicament!"

"Don't pin this on me! Leo's the one who forced me to go with you!" One advantage of being tied up was that Raph couldn't angrily shove his finger into my chest while trying to make a point (pun intended). Our plastrons provide additional protection from all sorts of things, but Raph's finger jabs still stung.

My temperamental brother had to settle for glaring at me, again, but I was quick to glare right back.

"I don't recall him forcing you out into open where you got spotted by humans! You did that all on your own!"

Raph emitted a resentful 'hmph' at this, and then, went silent, which brings us to present time.

At least ten minutes have passed without a word at this point. Just a lot of snorting and grunting as we both vainly attempt to wriggle free from our binds. It seems like the more we move, the tighter the ropes get. Our kidnappers didn't appear to be the sharpest knives in the block, but they obviously know how to tie a decent knot.

Lucky us…

The sound of someone laying on their horn behind us cuts through the silence between Raph and I and my mood suddenly softens. If this is indeed the last night of my life, I certainly don't want to spend it bickering with my older brother. Once this van stops, I may never see him again.

"Raph… " There's an unmistakable quiver in my voice that makes me stop my sentence short.

"Don't you dare say it, brainiac!"

"Say what?"

"That we're not gonna make it."

"That's not what I was gonna say."

"You were thinking it. I know you were."

"It is a very distinct possibility, Raph."

"You think I don't know that?" I can hear the frustration in Raph's tone, but there's something else there. Something I don't usually hear coming from my hotheaded brother. It's almost childlike.

He's scared.

Oh my Galileo! Big, bad Raphie is scared.

Actually, come to think of it, so am I…

"If they are bringing us to a government facility, we'll most likely be separated as soon as we arrive, so we don't have much – "

"I told you not to say it!"

"I know, but I just want you tell you that – "

"Donnie – "

"Let me finish, Raph." My brother squirms in his binds with newfound vigor, but he soon realizes that he's literally a captive audience. Despite being the stubbornest turtle I've ever met, he seems to resign to his fate and allows me to continue on without interruption. "I know we aren't all that close anymore and all we ever seem to do is argue. That's totally my fault. I don't exactly make it easy to hang out with me. What with being a hopeless nerd and all. I'm sorry for that. I truly am. I wish we wouldn't have drifted so far apart. I should've tried harder, but I guess I just always assumed there'd be more time. I should've been a better brother."

"Ya done?"

"Yeah. I – I think so."

"Okay, my turn. For starters, you don't have to apologize, because it isn't your fault. It's mine. I'm the one who should've been a better brother. I was always picking on you or being mean to you or ignoring you because you were off doing your 'Donnie' thing. The truth is, me not hanging out with you had nothing to do with you being a nerd. It's because I didn't think I was smart enough to be around you."

"Raph, that isn't – "

"Let me finish, Donnie." Regardless of the grim circumstances, having my own words thrown back at me brings a crooked smile to my face. I soon realize I'm not the only one who's smiling. I can see a little smirk playing on my big brother's lips.

"I'm sorry for constantly arguing with you and pushing you away all this time, little brother. And I'm sorry for getting us into this mess. Me and my big mouth. If we somehow figure a way out of this, I promise to be nicer to you."

"And I promise to be less nerdy for you."

"You can still be a nerd, Donnie boy. Just dumben things down a few notches. Deal?"

"Deal!"

Almost as if on cue, the van pulls to stop and I realize with sudden, gut-wrenching dread that my brother and I may never get the chance to make good on our promises.

Curse you, turtle luck!

I hear the driver and passenger doors slam shut followed by the obvious sound of footsteps outside of the van. Then, there's a muffled conversation I can't quite make out. No doubt in my mind, the two guys are gushing over how much money they're going to get for catching us.

Glancing over at my kid brother, I see his eyes are as wide as can be, clearly frightened by the prospect of being chopped up like a lab specimen. Seems kind of ironic, the 'sciencey' guy's demise is about to come at the hands of a bunch of scientists.

You know what they say about karma?

It sucks.

As Donnie's big brother, I feel this weird need to comfort him, but I've never been all that good at cheering people up.

I much prefer beating people up…

But for my brother's sake, I give the whole consoling thing the old ninja try.

"Hey! It could be worse."

Donnie's face goes from scared to offended in less than a heartbeat. "We're about to be dismembered. How could it possibly be worse?"

"We could've been captured by the Kraang or Casey could be here with us."

"You've got a point."

The door to the back of the van is suddenly pulled open and there stand our two captors, sneering at us in the moonlight pouring down from above. With a conspiratorial wink, the one who shot me reaches inside the van, grabs hold of Donnie's ankles, and starts yanking him forward.

"Raph!"

"Leave him alone, you ugly piece of crap!"

"Who you callin' ugly, freak?"

The other human seizes Donnie's legs as well, and together, the two guys roughly drag my brother out of the van. Watching them manhandle Donnie has me pretty much beside myself with anger. Nobody hurts my brothers but me.

NOBODY!

"Get your hands off him!"

Donnie suddenly goes silent which gets me even more fired up. Seconds later, the two men are standing over me, but I'm not about to go down without a fight. Flopping around like a fish out of water, I kick at the men as best I can with my legs still tied. Kind of like I did to get Donnie to finally wake up. I land a couple of good hits before they manage to get a hold of me. They then none-too-gently haul me out of the van and drop me down on the ground next to Donnie, who's just staring straight ahead in slack-jawed disbelief.

I look up to see what Donnie's gawking at. Or should I say what he's not gawking at?

This isn't a government facility. Not even close.

These two pathetic imbeciles just drove us out to some rickety old shack that looks like a good huff and puff will blow it right down.

Are you kidding me?

Realizing we're a safe distance from any guys in lab coats with circular saws, I'm suddenly feeling a whole lot bolder. I'm also feeling a whole lot crankier. "Where the shell are we?"

"Shut up!"

Apparently, I'm not the only one who's cranky… Once again, there's a gun being pointed in my general direction and I'm struck by a nauseating sense of déjà vu. This just isn't my night.

"I still don't think it's a good idea to bring 'em here, Mort. Now they've seen where we live."

"Wait! You actually live in this hole?" I'm not exaggerating right now. This place makes the sewers look like a five-star hotel.

"Raph! What did you just say about your big mouth? Do you want to get shot again?"

"Yeah, freak! Listen to your friend here. He's obviously the smart one."

"You have no idea, buddy." I can't help but smirk as I say this, but my brainiac brother doesn't seem all that amused. He's too busy staring at the barrel of the gun still aimed at me.

"So, what are you gonna do with us?"

The bigger of the two men (aka 'Mort') laughs at Donnie's timid question, showing off why dental hygiene is so very important. I swear, this guy's got less teeth than Casey, and that's saying a lot.

"We're gonna sell you on Ebay to the highest bidder."

"Ebay? You stupid, ugly – " Donnie cuts me off mid-insult, again, by howling my name into my ear.

My brothers are always stifling my creativity…

"What? Do they actually think they can list us on Ebay? What's the item description gonna be? Two giant, talking turtles, new without tags? What are you gonna charge for shipping?"

"Shut up!"

With a smirk still plastered on my face, I arrogantly point out, "You already said that."

I wind up regretting this comment when the guy moves his gun and aims it directly at Donnie.

"If you don't shut your mouth, I'm gonna shoot your friend here."

I don't know who gulps louder at this threat: me or Donnie.

Nice going, Raph. Way to make things worse.

It's one thing to have a gun pointed at me, but seeing it pointed at my kid brother… I swear I can hear my heart pounding inside my chest.

For fear of them hurting Donnie, I bite my tongue, but I can't stop myself from glaring at the guy, which only makes him laugh, yet again.

"Ha! Not so brave now, are we?"

Though I really want to throat punch the dude, I simply growl in response. I can't risk my brother's life for the temporary satisfaction of hitting someone.

"Let's get 'em inside, Mort, before someone sees us."

The smaller of the two men seems to be a bit on the paranoid side. I'm not sure if it's because he's still freaked out over us being talking turtles or maybe it's because kidnapping just isn't his thing. Either way, he keeps glancing over his shoulders, like we're being watched or something.

I must not be the only one who notices this, because I can suddenly see that knowing look in my genius brother's eyes. The one he gets whenever he has a plan.

It's about darn time!

Much to my dismay, my brain temporarily went into sleep mode the moment this 'Mort' guy pointed his weapon at us again. But the good news is I think my cerebrum is finally starting to come around, despite the fact that I'm now the one in the line of fire.

Thanks a lot, Raph!

My brother and I are going to have a serious talk when we get home.

"If you don't shut your mouth, I'm gonna shoot your friend here."

Strike that!

IF we get home…

"Ha! Not so brave now, are we?"

My hotheaded brother looks like he's itching to hit the guy, but luckily for me, he somehow manages to resist temptation.

Well, who would've thought?

Maybe Raph really is capable of containing his temper…

But for how long?

I've got to think of something and I've got to think of it quick, before Raph's lack of diplomacy gets us both murdered.

"Let's get 'em inside, Mort, before someone sees us."

That's when the proverbial light bulb finally goes off in my head.

"You know, even if you take us inside, it's not going to stop them from finding us." I make sure to place heavy emphasis on the word 'them' and narrow my eyes into slits so as to raise suspicion.

Just as I thought, the more anxious of the two men seems to panic over my rather cryptic comment.

"Wh – What do you mean 'them?'"

Lowering my voice to a near-whisper, as if I'm worried someone else might be listening in on our conversation, I deliver the news the two men have been wanting to hear.

"The truth is, we are aliens from another planet. We didn't want to tell you before because we were trying to protect you."

"I knew it! I just knew it!" While the larger of the two men boasted about his being right – based on his presumably low IQ, I'm guessing it doesn't happen a whole lot – the other human's eyes just about double in size.

"Wait a sec. What were you trying to protect us from?"

"From the others of our kind. They'll be coming for us any moment now, and I can guarantee you, they won't be happy when they see how we've been treated."

"How… How are they gonna find you here?" The smaller man's wide eyes scan the skies, no doubt in search of a flying saucer or giant mothership hovering above us while the larger man starts to look around nervously, finger on the trigger of his rifle, readying to take out any incoming extraterrestrials.

Oh, Donatello, you truly are a genius. Someone really ought to erect a statue after you.

These two are totally falling for it, hook, line, and sinker.

In the meantime, my older brother remains uncharacteristically silent, watching on in awe as I continue to work my magic.

"Advanced alien technology. You humans still have our communication devices on you, do you not?"

Exchanging wary glances with his counterpart, the smaller of the two men reaches deep into his coat pocket and pulls out two still intact shell-shaped objects.

Ah, my precious T-phones. I've never been happier to see them.

I have to stop a devious grin from spreading across my face over the predictability of it all. I need to stay in character here, but it's kind of hard not laugh out loud over just how dimwitted these guys are.

And yet, we were still dumb enough to let them capture us…

That's beside the point.

Focus, Donatello. Focus.

"You mean these weird-looking thingies?"

"Yes. With those devices, our ship will be led right here. It's only a matter of time."

"Not if we destroy 'em first."

The smaller man lifts up the phones, I'm guessing fully intent on throwing them to the ground and stomping on them, but I calmly foil his plan.

"I'm afraid that won't work. Even if you smash the devices into bits, the others will still be able to track the remnants of the communicators. But I know how to deactivate the tracking mechanisms."

Like a true thespian, I speak in the most sympathetic of tones, doing my best to sound as though I feel sorry for these two boneheads, but the bigger of the two men doesn't seem all that convinced by my brilliant performance.

"And why would you wanna help us after what we did to you?"

An excellent question, indeed, but I anticipated something along this line and I don't miss a beat with my answer.

"Because my comrade and I aren't like the rest of our kind. We don't wish to see you disintegrated over a simple misunderstanding."

"Dis – Disintegrated?" The color instantly fades from the smaller man's cheeks as he peers down at us. I can see the horror scrolled across his face, as clear as though it was written in black, permanent marker, proving once again that the mere thought of disintegration strikes fear into the hearts of everyone.

Go figure…

"Yes. When our crew arrives on Earth, they will see no other option than to vaporize you. You already know too much and will have to be eradicated."

These ominous words have both men shaking in their boots. I can almost hear their teeth chattering.

"S – So what do we do?"

"I just need you to untie me so I can disable the signal before it's too late."

This humble request makes the larger guy jumpy, and without warning, he and his gun edge several inches closer to me.

All of a sudden, I'm feeling a lot less brave, but I don't let it show.

I can't allow these guys to see any form of weakness. Not if this plan's going to work.

Please, oh please, let this plan work!

"How do we know you're not tricking us just so you can send a distress call to your alien buddies?"

Another excellent question, but fortunately, it's one I also anticipated.

"You don't, but can you afford to risk it? The others may already be on their way. Time is of the essence here. Tick tock." I lay the confidence on extra thick. So much so, I sound more like Leo than myself. I then break out the big, innocent eyes, just like my baby brother always does when he's trying to get his way. I'm hoping by using a clever combination of my oldest and youngest brothers' proven persuasive techniques, I'll be able to sway these two humans into seeing my line of thinking.

Several long-drawn-out moments of silence pass before the smaller man places our T-phones back inside his coat pocket and moves towards my wrists. He then starts to undo the knot.

I can almost taste sweet victory when the gun-toting man shakes his head in disapproval, still not a hundred percent sold on the idea of untying me. "Are you sure about this, Willy?"

"N – Not really… But I am sure I don't wanna die. I don't think we have any other choice but to trust him."

Willy definitely seems like he's the nicer of the two guys. Too bad he's a terrible judge of character.

As soon as my hands are free, I make my move and hope on all that is good in this world that I don't get my brother and I killed in the process.

Two and a half seconds!

Two! And! A! Half! Freaking! Seconds!

That's exactly how much time passes from the moment Donnie is untied to the moment the two men are lying on the ground, twitching at our feet.

Sweet mother of mutation…

I knew Donnie was a genius, but THIS? This is a whole 'nother side of my brother. A just plain scary side.

I kind of like it.

While I stare dumbfounded at my little brother's seemingly impossible accomplishment, he's already loosening the rope binding my wrists together. Once my hands are untied, I quickly unfasten the rope around my ankles and push myself up to my feet so I'm standing beside Donnie, whose all-white eyes are glaring down at the two guys he just incapacitated. He then bends down and pulls our T-phones out of the smaller human's jacket pocket, presumably to turn on the GPS function and figure out where the heck we are.

Ugh! I'm really hoping we're not too far from home. It's already been a long, stinking night. I'm certainly not in the mood to do any sightseeing right now.

After Donnie's done checking our location, we walk towards the van and conveniently find our weapons leaning against the front seat. Without a word, Donnie hands me my sais before sliding his bo-staff in back into its holster. It's clear by my brother's swift and stealthy actions that he's raring to go. His words soon confirm as much.

"Okay. Let's get out of here before these bozos snap out of it."

I nod and follow my brother's lead for a while, impatiently waiting for him to say something – anything – about what he just did, but he seems to be too fixated on getting back to the lair.

A couple of minutes pass before I finally can't take the awkward silence anymore.

"So, are we gonna talk about what just happened?" My voice comes out more amazed than I'd meant it to sound.

Sure, I'm totally impressed by how easily Donnie took those guys down, but he doesn't need to know that.

"What about it?" Though Donnie tries to act like it was no big deal, there's an overly smug look on his face he can't seem to hide. One that tells me he's just as impressed by what happened as I am.

"What you did back there… with the pressure points thing. When did you learn to do that?" Again, my voice betrays me, sounding more overwhelmed than underwhelmed like I'd intended. If I keep going on and on the way I am, my brother's going to get a big head over all this.

We certainly don't want that.

Painting a purposeful grimace across my face, I watch on as Donnie shrugs his shoulders, once again trying to downplay what happened. What gives? I thought for sure he'd be tooting his horn about saving the day by now. Instead he just spouts off some crap about Splinter.

"We were raised and trained by a grand master of Ninjutsu. Why shouldn't I know how to do that?"

My brother makes a valid point… even if it's not the point I was expecting him to make.

"True." I pause for a moment, before adding, "Well, it was pretty cool, even if it was a little anticlimactic." Now it's my turn to downplay the situation, and at long last, I'm able to do it in true deadpan fashion.

It's good to be the snarky one.

Not surprisingly, my condescending comment finally gets a rise out of Donnie.

"Anticlimactic? It was awesome and you know it! You're just jealous because you didn't get play the hero."

Ah, and there's the bragging I'd been dreading this whole time. I knew it was bound to come out, sooner or later. I mean, you don't do what Donnie just did and not have it go straight to your ego.

Of course, I'm quick to take Donnie down a peg or two.

What are big brothers for?

"Ha! I could've taken those guys down in half the time you did."

"But you didn't."

"I didn't want to steal your thunder."

"Just admit it. If it weren't for me, we'd be toast."

"Hey, I had a plan. I just wanted to give you a fighting chance."

"Yeah, right. What kind of a plan?"

"You know, you're being awfully cocky for a guy who just took down two bumbling idiots."

"Two bumbling idiots you couldn't take down yourself."

"Oh, please. I had it all under control."

"Sure you did. That's why I had to rescue you."

And so, we argue the whole way home, as usual. But you know what? I wouldn't have it any other way.

There's obviously some kind of moral to the story here, but in all honesty, I'm just too tired to care.

Once we get back to the lair, I'm going to drag my sorry shell to my room and fall face-first onto my bed. If all goes according to plan, I'll mercifully pass out just before Leo steps foot inside my room to give me some epic lecture about the importance of being responsible. It would've been a complete waste of breath anyway.

We all know the truth now.

Like I said before…

This whole thing was totally Leo's fault.

The End

*Additional Author's Notes: Oh, I love the middle brothers with all my heart. Their constant bickering and sass bring me such joy. Who's with me?

I'm dedicating this story to my amazing readers, followers, and friends. You are all wonderful and very-much appreciated. I hope every one of you has the happiest of new years. And to those of you who celebrate the holiday season, I wish you all the merriest of times. I hope this story brought everyone some much-needed cheer.

As always, please take a few moments to favorite, follow, like, reblog, review and/or comment on this story if you're enjoying my 'Shell Shots.' I would love to hear from everyone, even if it's just a quick little 'hello.' Thank you all so much for reading and for making my 2019 bright. *huge hugs* ;) CJ