You've got to make up your mind and make it soon
Is there room in your life
For one more trip to the moon?
Is there room in your life
For one more? -The Cure

Part 3

Gai grimaced a little at Obito's death threat, but did not attempt to further defend Kakashi.

Wise move, Obito thought.

There was a tense silence as Obito fumed, and Gai watched him warily out the corner of one eye until Obito noticed how uncomfortable he was making the other man.

Well this wouldn't do. Obito knew that he had a filthy temper (the sleepless red-eye flight was hardly helping with his control) but he generally prided himself on not taking out his feelings on the undeserving. Kakashi was dead meat, but it was not

Obito counted to twenty, and then breathed out slowly.

"Sorry," he said. "I promise I won't actually kill him. It's not a good look if a private security consultant like me gets implicated in a murder before I even show up for the first day at work," he joked.

Epiphany dawned in Gai's eyes. "Oh! You are Obito Uchiha."

Obito blinked. "Uh, yeah?"

How the hell did he figure that out? Obito felt himself tense up, ready to deal with… well he didn't know what, but it wasn't like his family were well-liked, what with their general attitude to anyone not Uchiha (and even then Obito, who even if he wasn't decidedly one of the black sheep of the family couldn't say that they were exactly warm and friendly).

Gai turned and beamed at him. "Perhaps it is difficult to recognise me, but we were in the same class."

Oh okay. False alarm. Obito let himself relax a little.

Same class… so, Konoha Academy, obviously, but…

But the only Gai Obito could remember from the Konoha Academy was…

No fucking way.

"Holy shit, Maito Gai? You're Maito Gai?"

Obito compared the image in his head of the slightly sullen and weedy teenager to the Bruce Lee double he was riding with, and boggled.

Gai nodded, his smile rueful.

"Damn," Obito marvelled. "While I was out getting hit by the ugly stick, you apparently found the Fountain of Sex Appeal. Good for you, man," he blurted out.

And then froze.

He just said that. Out loud. With his mouth.

So he was apparently at no-filters level of tired.

That would have been good to know a minute ago so he could have pre-emptively thrown himself from the car.

Fuck.

Obito was so busy freaking out over his fucking big mouth oh shit why that it took him a moment to realise that the car was pulling over.

Oh shit, maybe Gai was about to throw him out of the car. Obito really hoped not. The complete scuppering of the real-people ship he really wanted to launch would be bad enough, but it would be awkward trying to figure out where the hell he was based on memories that were out of date by more than a decade.

The car came to a stop, and Gai switched off the engine.

Obito put one hand on the button of his seatbelt, ready to quickly release himself in case this should turn south.

Gai turned to stare at him, studying Obito intensely.

"I am told that I am somewhat oblivious about these things, but tell me, was that a line?"

Was that hope dawning in those brown eyes? Or was that just what Obito hoped to be seeing?

Fuck it. Obito had probably already put his foot in it, might as well commit.

"Yup," Obito said, tone purposefully casual. "I have eyes, Gai. You're hot as hell. But if you're not into that, or well," there was no point ignoring the obvious, "into me, then I only mean that as a compliment."

Gai cocked his head.

"So I take it you would be Not Adverse to me asking if I could take you out for Coffee?"

Huh. That wasn't a homophobic response. That was the opposite of a homophobic response. That was Gai asking Obito if he could… That was a date.

Well how about that.

I've been off the plane for less than an hour, and I have a date. How is this my life.

Obito opened his mouth to respond with an enthusiastic "yes!" but instead yawned.

He changed what he wanted to say for something that (tragically) was a bit more realistic.

"Raincheck? I think I need to sleep for like, a day first. Then well," Obito snorted. "I have your number, and I have a fifty/fifty chance of guessing correctly which side of Bakashi's place you live."

Gai beamed.

"Mine is the Home with the Lotus Pond and the Green Door. Indeed we shall, as you say, Raincheck."

Gai turned away and opened the car door. "By the way, you will be Happy to know that we have Arrived."

Huh. So it wasn't just a dramatic pullover. Funny.

Obito gracelessly scrambled from the car, just in time to witness Gai hoisting his orange suitcase onto one shoulder like it was a bag of feathers.

Obito stored away the image for later perusal. At length. That display of strength was giving him all sorts of ideas that he was tragically far too exhausted to explore right this minute. Soon he vowed to himself. If there was any justice in the universe, then sometime in the very near future Obito would be making himself a sensory map of those muscles with his tongue.

Obito followed Gai to the front door of a small townhouse, stepping over some chewed-up dog toys that were lying on the steps. Gai put down Obito's suitcase, and rang the doorbell.

"It was Very Nice Meeting You," he said, eyes sparkling. "Please, Call Me Soon."

He turned as if to leave, but Obito's hand acted of its own accord and grabbed him by the front of his leotard.

What the hell, hand, Obito thought, staring at his own offending appendage. Well yeah, he actually didn't want Gai to leave, but on the other hand (hur hur), this was maybe not the most chill way he could be showing it.

He's going to think I'm a gigantic freak.

A large, warm, heavily callused hand settled over his.

Obito bit the inside of his cheek, half prepared for a rejection, but instead, Gai's other hand gently tipped his head up so that they had eye contact.

To Obito's surprise, Gai's expression wasn't skeeved out, it was, dare he say it, fond.

"Get some sleep, then call me," he said, reiterating his earlier words.

Obito nodded dumbly, but his hand refused to cooperate with the whole letting the nice guy (ha ha, geddit? Oh Kami Obito needed sleep he was starting to get delirious) go plan. He licked his lips, and didn't miss how Gai's pupils widened at the sight.

Oh, I can work with this.

Gai leaned forward slightly, being a total gentleman by telegraphing his intent and giving Obito all the time in the world to refuse. "Would it be Forward of me to Request if I could-"

Too much talking. Obito decided to shut Gai up with his mouth.

Oh. Oh. This might have been the best plan Obito had had all day.

Because damn, even taken a little by surprise, Gai kissed like he wanted to gently take Obito to pieces until Obito screamed for more.

Yup, Obito thought hazily as his toes curled in his sandals and his ability to stand started to get a little iffy due to his knees apparently being made out of overcooked noodles. He was going to crash, and soon, but as soon he woke up, he was going to call this man and then climb this man like a tree.

How convenient that he apparently lived next door to Obito's Worst Best Friend Ever.

Speaking of said asshole...

Vaguely Obito registered that the front door was opening, but he was too busy enjoying the fact that Gai kissed like a particularly enthusiastic sex demon, and was unperturbed by the fact that Obito had grabbed a handful of his well-sculpted ass.

Best. Plan. Ever.

"Hey there so you– sweet Kami my eyes!" Kakashi shrieked.

Obito was not even remotely sorry.

A/N: that moment when you're checking how tall characters are because you have never seen them standing next to each other and you're *pretty sure* which one is taller but you're not 100% sure.

Also, I maybe had a bit too much fun writing this one. I regret nothing.