Wow, a different story already? That was quick. Don't worry, I'm not forgetting about my Berserk story, in fact I may even update it in the same night as I'm writing this.

But anyway this is an adoption/challenge from Spicy Pizza. I say that because it says that it's up for adoption but the actual story is written more like a challenge. Oh well, either way the idea comes from him.

No OP OC's, no muscly muscle men players who kill everything! Just me and my absolutely terrible sense of humour.

That's not really much better is it.

Crap

Blue Rose, one of only two adamantium ranked adventuring teams in the Kingdom of Re-Estize, lay bruised and battered on the forest floor, the dissolving corpses of various monsters and demi-humans around them.

"Well, this sucks", Gagaran, the gigantic warrior made her usual sarcastic comment from her position sitting against a tree. As the warrior of the group, she had taken the worst of the damage, and was bleeding lightly from several places.

Laykus, the leader of the team, used her sword, Kilyneiram, as a leaning post. "My mana's completely spent, so no healing. Anyone have potions left?"

Tina, one of the twin ninjas reached into a pouch at her hip and extracted a small bottle filled with light blue liquid.

"Give it to Gagaran, we need to be able to move". The warrior in question gratefully accepted the bottle and downed its contents. A light green energy enveloped her wounds, closing them rapidly.

Evileye sighed from behind her mask, "I told you this job was a bad idea".

"Pay's good though" Tia piped up, her twin nodding in agreement.

"We need to move, we don't have the energy or the equipment to fight more battles like this. We need somewhere to rest, are there any towns nearby?"

"None, we're in the middle of nowhere". Laykus scowled at the response.

"Crap, any ideas?"

A chorus of negatives answered her, but Evileye spoke up in the ensuing silence.

"I have one, but it's completely insane and may get you killed".

"It's better than this, so what are we waiting for? Let's hear it".

"Right, everyone around me" Blue Rose complied, heaving themselves off the ground and standing around their teammate. Evileye removed one of the thick gloves on hands, revealing a large ring set with a beautiful red stone, and engraved with a strange emblem.

"Is that a magic item? If it's for teleportation, then that's got to be worth a fortune, even for us. How did you get it?

Evileye grimaced behind her mask, "It is for teleportation, but it only teleports to one place. It was created by the person I'm hoping will be able to help us".

Without another word, she raised her fist into the air, and the ring began to glow with a bright white light. With a brilliant flash, Blue Rose was gone.

When the light faded, Blue Rose found themselves in another forest, yet the differences between their previous location and their current one were obvious. A previously absent mountain range lined the horizon, and a large clearing surrounded them.

"Soooooo, where are we?" Gagaran questioned, surveying their surroundings.

"The Great Forest of Tob" was Evileye's nonchalant response.

'WHAT! How the hell was this a good idea? We're in more danger than we were before!" Laykus exploded.

"Relax, we're here to see the person who lives here". Evileye pointed to an empty space in the centre of the clearing before pausing. "Oh, wait a second". She raised the ring once more, and with a slightly smaller flash, a log cabin shimmered into existence. It was fairly large, with two floors and a large area. The members of Blue Rose felt their jaws drop.

Evileye ignored her comrades' stupefaction and strolled up to the door, two undead the likes of which Blue Rose had never seen exploded out of the earth, their blades moving in on their comrade with lightning speed. Laykus opened her mouth to cry a warning, and Tia and Tina looked ready to burst off and help their comrade.

Yet the blades stopped before they could reach the diminutive magic caster. Evileye seemed unperturbed, and raised her hand to let the monsters see the ring. One leant forward, as if inspecting it closely, before nodding its head.

Evileye gestured to her teammates and the creature nodded again, before it and the other one returned to the holes they had burst from, the earth closing up behind them.

"Come on then, we haven't got all day". Evileye said, removing her mask and letting her voice gain its usual tone. Blue Rose worked off their shock and moved tentatively towards Evileye, watching the spot that the undead had sprung from.

"What. Was. That?" Laykus breathed out, her hands gripping her demonic sword tightly.

"It's his automated defence system, don't worry, as long as I have the ring they won't attack us".

Laykus was too tired to complain.

Evileye walked to the door and rapped her knuckles on it three times. Nothing happened for several seconds, before the door swung open to reveal a rather imposing figure in the doorway.

It was dressed in a black sable robe befitting a king, not a hermit, which seemed to suck all light from around it. It's hands were coved with bulky metal gloves, and on it's hooded face was a twisted red and green mask that seemed to be leering down at them.

"Oh, hello Landfall. Nice to see you again". The voice was deep and booming, but otherwise carried no ill intent. The man seemed completely normal, and that was what put the human members of Blue Rose on edge. Powerful creatures tended to have a battle presence, like the two undead earlier. Yet they had infinite more than this man, apparently their master had. Something didn't add up.

"I actually go by Evileye now". The magic caster responded as the man stood aside to let them into his abode. He chuckle as they filed past him in a state of shock.

"Of course you do. This is what, the third time? Your naming sense is as amazing as always". Good-natured sarcasm laced his voice. Evileye huffed, her cheeks puffing out cutely.

"The first thing you do after all this time is insult my naming sense? You have som-" Her tirade was cut off when the man placed a gauntleted hand on top of her head.

"It is good to see you, little one". He turned to the members of Blue Rose, eyeing him warily. "And you must be Blue Rose, Rigrit has told me so much about you".

Laykus raised an eyebrow, "You know that old granny?"

The man chuckled again, "Know her? I taught her".

For the second time that day, Laykus felt her jaw drop.

"I suppose some introductions are in order, please make yourselves at home, and I will get some drinks.

With that he turned and went into a small room to the side. The sound of pouring water and fire could be heard seconds later.

"Evileye, explain. Now".

Evileye sighed, setting herself down on one of the plush sofas in the room.

"This might take a while".

"So do you want the short version or the long version?"

"Let's go with the short version" Gagaran decide, the wins nodded their agreement.

"He's an immortal undead magic caster who is quite literally the most powerful thing alive".

A pause, "So if you're so friendly with him, why was this a dangerous idea? Hell, why haven't we done this after every mission?"

"Because if he decided he didn't like you guys, he could kill you with a wave of his hand and then proceed to kill the rest of humanity if you managed to annoy him enough".

Laykus paled at that, a being that could wipe out humanity single -handedly was no laughing matter. Coming from Evileye it was even worse. Evileye had been a member of the thirteen heroes, and had faced incredibly powerful demon gods. For her to think so highly of this being made him seem almost godlike.

"Did I mention I'm pretty sure he's a god?" Ok, scratch that, literally godlike.

"What?" Laykus couldn't suppress the quivering in her voice.

"He's never confirmed it, and he's dodged the question every time I've asked it, but having seen him fight, I'm pretty sure he's the God of Death".

Evileye didn't think it was possible for her teammates to get any paler. She was proven very, very wrong".

"So let me get this straight" Gagaran spoke up, her lip trembling, "We're in the home of the God of Death, who is currently next door making us tea?"

"Oh not tea, he's making potions for us". A flash of light from the adjoining room punctuated her statement, and seconds later the God of Death emerged, carrying a tray lined with small bottles filled with red liquid. Two deep blue potions were also present, albeit slightly hidden by the others.

"Sorry for the wait, here you go". He set the potions down on the small table, and Evileye made a beeline for one of the two dark blue bottles. The others however stared at him, unrestrained fear in their eyes. Tia was embracing her twin and both were shaking violently. Gagaran was also shaking, but had reached for a blue bottle with trembling hands.

"Ah, the blue potions are for the magic casters, a red potion will do you more good". Gagaran nodded mutely and instead took a red potion. Laykus' mouth was moving up and down but making no noise, giving her the look of a gaping fish.

He turned his masked face to Evileye, who had downed her first potion and was going for a red one.

"What did you tell them?"

"Oh, that you could wipe out humanity if they displeased you". She smirked.

He placed a hand on his face. "I knew I should have handled introductions, oh well. I am Momonga, a pleasure to make your acquaintance".

Laykus took this opportunity to faint. Evileye flashed him a completely innocent grin as she downed her second potion.

"Wrong potion, little one".

Evileye' eyes bulged and she made a choking noise, her throat being burned as if she had just swallowed boiling water. After briefly recovering, she scowled at the masked man.

"I would tell you to stick it up your asshole, but i'm pretty sure you don't have one".

Sounds resonated out, the first being Laykus hitting the floor, despite Tia and Tina's best efforts to keep her unconscious form upright. The second was a resounding thwack, as the all powerful undead magic caster began to repeatedly bang his head on the coffee table.

"I honestly don't even know why I try anymore, you make this too easy, Jolly Roger".

Momonga stood up, moved to the nearest wall, and began to bang his head on that instead.

For everybody who thinks i skipped the introduction and are confused, either read the summary or the next chapter. Whichever's up. All will be made clear-er.