Chapter 1

David reflected that it was just as well that the OWL candidates were confined to the castle for revision over Easter; otherwise the latest game devised by Lilith might just be construed by the Ministry to be muggle baiting at best, and dark magic at worst.

It had begun with an impromptu and much truncated performance of 'Tosca' in the style of Status Quo, and had led to the challenging of those prepared to join in to sing one work or another in the style of some entirely disparate work. That Gilbert and Sullivan in the style of Queen almost worked was worrying; but the elegiac opera of Callinus Strainz in the style of Celestina Warbeck could definitely be classed as scary. And Bohemian Rhapsody in the style of ABBA had to be heard to be believed.

And not in a good way.

Still, it kept them from going into hysteria over exams. There was something more healthy about the fairly reasonable hysterical outburst over a refusal to sing Weird Sisters numbers in the style of country and western. Especially as it was only Lavender Spikenard having the hysterics, which was no real difference to usual.

Music was on the minds of the Musical Marauders in Durmstrang as well.

"I don't know what you fourth years are doing, spending the holidays in the castle, getting under the feet of those of us who have real work to do," complained Kunegunda Sternkessel. "You think you're so clever with your music, why don't you do something patriotic like write a school quidditch song?"

"You are a poor prune, Kunegunda," said Sigismund, scornfully. "How much more patriotic can we get than what we are doing in the castle?"

"Well what are you doing?" the girl demanded.

They stared.

"Blind, deaf, daft and idiotic," said Corneliu. "Has it escaped your attention that the Kaiserin asked us to sort out the third task for her, because nobody knows mazes like we do, and nobody knows the musical and art magic to operate traps in them like us?"

Kunegunda goggled.

"I don't believe the Kaiserin would get little kids like you to do that," she said, scornfully.

"Calling the lie on us, Kunegunda? Them's fighting words," said Sigismund. "Are you really asking to duel me?"

Kunegunda paled.

"I apologise, Toth," she said stiffly. "It seemed odd."

"Maybe it seemed odd to you that we also saved your sorry arse along with the rest when the school had to be evacuated over the dragon's heart fumes incident," said Sigismund, coldly. "If I'd known you didn't believe in our warming charms and protective spells I'd have asked you to leave our maze and do your own best to survive outside in a nightdress in the middle of winter in the snow."

"I … Well, you seem to know about mazes," said Kunegunda, crossly. "But a quidditch song would be nice."

"Oh, we have that in hand," said Zoltan, airily.

Zoltan was rounded on when the Musical Marauders had got rid of Kunegunda.

"We 'have that in hand' in what respect?" demanded Beremud.

"I was going to steal a muggle song and just remove the word 'panzer' which is a muggle military thing, and put in 'bessen', 'broom' instead," said Zoltan. "It's a stirring tune and words."

"Sing," said Sigismund.

Zoltan sang.

"Ob's stürmt oder schneit,
Ob die Sonne uns lacht,
Der Tag glühend heiss
Oder eiskalt die Nacht.
Bestaubt sind die Gesichter,
Doch froh ist unser Sinn,
Ja, unser Sinn;
Es braust unser Bessen
Im Sturmwind dahin."1

"It's pretty good," said Sigismund. "Sing it over a few times, brother, and we'll soon pick it up."

Zoltan did so, and by the third repetition, the others had joined in.

They liked it so much they marched into supper singing it. The were followed by the feral desk, marching as well as it might, and thumping its lid in time.

"I take it we have a new quidditch anthem," said Agata Bacso, who had become used to sudden music in the school. "You may copy out the words once each so that a copy is available to each year, and the sixth will have to share a copy, and we shall learn that before the next quidditch match. A pity that quidditch is curtailed for the duration of the Triwizard."

"Nothing to stop the school singing it to support us for the Triwizard, Madam Bacso," said Zyrillis, rising and bowing. "Indeed, I think that the Triwizard team should arrive in formation on brooms, if Madam Schwefel will help us with the geomancy required, singing it. It's a nice psychological advantage."

"Almost a declaration of war, but I like it," said Agata. "The pests and I will have travelled ahead to set up the maze, so they may stay to see your arrival."

Sigismund rose to bow, and click his heels punctiliously to thank her for this concession.

The exams would take place before they did their bit, a new rule which had been so much appreciated by previous years' contestants when it had been introduced to permit Jade Snape to be old enough to have had her 17th birthday before the end of the competition, and one that had been argued into becoming a new tradition.

Meanwhile, Valda was not at school for the holidays, but she was busy. She was meeting her half siblings and Fraulein Braun, the mother of three of them, as all of them had been invited to stay with Adelard. Adelard had his own house, which was not large by the standard of his own family, but which seemed palatial to Fraulein Braun, an undistinguished witch of undistinguished family, who had considered being mistress to Herr Schutztab to be a step up. Schutztab's cruelty had changed her mind, and she lived under Adelard's protection now, in a quiet wizarding street in Berlin. Adelard had invited her, her children, his sister-in-law and her children, and Valda's other half-sibling, Konrad, who was one eighth goblin. As Fraulein Braun had no idea that one of the children at the Easter house party was Valda's other half brother, she did not shrink from Konrad, whose goblin features were barely noticeable. He was of an age with Fraulein Braun's youngest child, Sigeric, and both were toddlers. Adelard's idea was to make sure they were best of friends before troubling either with the news that they were related, and introduced Valda's old goblin nurse, who had Konrad in her care, as a family retainer to help with the little ones. Swentha, the nurse, helped out happily with the Loënzahn children as well, and the impression that Konrad was one of Stephanie Loënzahn's children was not one that Adelard went out of his way to discourage. Now he was officially a Marauder, it behoved him to fight racism, and Adelard was nothing if not thorough.

Valda had made her peace with Swentha, who had been well aware that Valda's father had been playing away and probably sought someone who could give him legitimate sons as well.

There was a briefly uncomfortable moment when Fraulein Trudi Braun tried to give orders to Wennie, now an unofficial scholar at Durmstrang, and Wennie told her,

"You are not my family, and you do not give me orders. If you ask nicely I will help you, because I like to please Valda and she wants her siblings to be happy. But you are not to give orders to any of the elves."

Trudi Braun had been furious; elves were about the only beings she had the chance to look down on, and being sneered at for not being of an elf-owning class was not something she could easily stomach. It may be said that the other elves that Valda had freed also sneered, even more openly than Wennie.

"What about us?" asked Dorothea, the oldest of Trudi's children.

"Since Valda has freed us all, we are not subject to orders, Miss Dorothea, but we will take courteously phrased requests as something close," said Wennie.

Dorothea digested this.

"I don't know anything about elves," she said.

"Then it is time you learned, Miss Dorothea, because the cursing of elves was a subtle curse of humans too," said Wennie, earnestly.

"How?" asked Dorothea.

"Herr Adelard is better at explaining," said Wennie.

"You're doing just fine, Wennie," said Adelard.

Wennie sighed. She had a feeling he was going to say something like that.

"Long ago, some wicked members of the fey, who are mostly dark creatures, put a curse in humans to make their magic fail sometimes, so squibs were made, and while wizards were worrying about this, offered them slaves. The slaves were a tribe of fey who didn't want to interfere with humans, who the high fey wanted to punish; and they made us have these silly little shapes, and to be cursed to obey. Some people recently broke the part of the curse that used to make us punish ourselves for even thinking disloyal thoughts, which means the high fey can't feed on our pain to make them stronger any more."

"You mean that ordering elves to punish themselves made dark creatures stronger?" asked Trudi, sharply. She had been considering ordering Wennie to punish herself.

"That's right, Fraulein Braun," said Adelard. "Fey are not all dark, but the ones who made that curse are very dark indeed. In former times, they were called demons. The lesser members of such are dementors and the like."

Trudi paled. She had heard of dementors, and if they were lesser fey, the high fey must be very nasty!

"I see," said Dorothea. "Then it is wise for elves to be free and not to obey."

"Yes," agreed Wennie.

"You'll do," said Valda, who had been assessing Dorothea. "Are you looking forward to going to school?"

"Yes, but I'm a bit scared," said Dorothea. "But I want to learn. I don't want to be someone's servant, or do piece work for a tailor, I want to know things."

"I'll fix you up to fag for someone decent, like Bronislava Frolika," said Valda. "Who you fag for is important; it's who can take care of you and do you good."

"But that is not a German name; can non-Germans be as good for me?" asked Dorothea.

"That's one of the silly attitudes of Odessa we need to stamp out," said Valda. "Besides, Broni is a Marauder, and Marauders are the works. They are leaders in the school, and if you ask me she has every chance of being head girl or deputy head when she is in the upper sixth. It will be her and Sigismund I bet."

"I wouldn't put money against that," said Adelard. "Zyrillis will be head boy in the coming year, I suspect, and probably Wencelada as deputy. Why one of the Musical Marauders, not one of Leva, Sofie or Elfleda, Valda?"

"Because I know the Musical Marauders better than the Jade Fag Marauders," said Valda, "And though they are only going to be in the fifth, fags are supposed to help out people who are doing exams, and if Dorothea wants to learn more about everything, do you know a group of Marauders who do more learning? Didn't they start studying both music in magic and art in magic in their spare time? And they are teaching Wennie and me to do art and pattern magic. And if Dorothea aspires to Maraud, they can show her more than anyone."

"What is this Marauding?" asked Dorothea, shyly. "It sounds a bit … loud."

"Marauders can be, but they can be quietly stubborn too," said Valda, with the convinced air of the converted. "I am now a Marauder. It is to stand up as a group against bullies, and look after the weak and oppressed and fight dark wizards. It's a lifetime commitment, not a gang, and you are as brothers and sisters to each other. Well, except the ones who marry each other," she flushed slightly, glancing at Adelard.

"I thought a low-born like me was going to be one of the weak and oppressed," said Dorothea.

"Not if you get your retaliation in, not quite first, but as soon as possible," said Valda. "Elimitza Theodrakis will be in your year, and her brother is a Marauder in the group I belong to, so I hope he will persuade her to Maraud, and you can work together."

"The sister of one of the Prince Peak Marauders has chosen Durmstrang too," said Adelard. "Falk Kesselring is friendly with the Ferret's brother-in-law and his ward too, and being horsy went to Prince Peak, but I hear the Kaiserin – that's the Headmistress, Frau Bacsó to you, young Dorothea – is starting stables."

"I think she reckons the distraction will be less than people riding the feral desk," chuckled Valda, her eyes sparkling with the recollection of the 'gymkhana'.

"I wish I'd been there to see it," said Adelard. "Anyway, Heloise Kesselring will be starting too, and I bet she's up for Marauding. Herr Von Kesselring doesn't bring his children up not to do their duty, and Ritter is teaching in the Free School."

"Goodness, are the Kesselrings planning on infiltrating every school, then?" asked Valda. Adelard laughed.

"Oh, I am glad you found your sense of humour, Valda!" he said. "I think that's what Snapes do, but then, Ritter is very close to Jade."

"I don't know who any of these people are," said Dorothea.

"Don't worry; you will," said Adelard. "Jade, or the Baronin Nefrita Von und zu Strang und Luytens is one of the people who makes Germany work. The Ferret, or Herzog Eduard Von Frettchen, who is a governor of Durmstrang and the Free School, is another."

"Does he then consider goblins worth educating?" asked Trudi, who had been listening, and who had been thoroughly ticked off by Adelard for rejecting the care of Konrad.

As she had Konrad and her younger son, Sigeric, on her lap, it made a mockery of her attitudes, had she but known it.

"Yes, he does; the ward who is a friend of Falk Kesselring, whose grandfather is on the Council, is a goblin," said Adelard. "Surely you have seen how well gobins have performed in the Triwizard; it is easy to say that goblins could pass exams by learning by rote, but you can't learn by rote a way to succeed in even completing the tasks at the Triwizard. Trust me, I might manage to beat the Hellibore boy, and possibly the lad from the London school, and give the Beauxbatons boy a run for his money, but I couldn't compete with Zajala Malfoy-Tobak, or Yrdl Breuer."

"What about Hallow?" asked Valda.

"Oh, Hallow is better than she looks, a little bird told me," said Adelard. "She dislikes Pony-boy as much as anyone else does. I do hope he goes to the French gaol for a very long time. Vanishing someone is foul," and he smiled at Wennie.

"And worse for a squib," squeaked Wennie.

Dorthea sighed. Her new guardian, who said he was going to be her brother-in-law, knew so many very important people. It was good, of course, but it was also a little scary!

Valda smiled at her sister.

"It'll be fine," she told her. "Just make sure you're ready to stand for fair play for everyone, and you won't go wrong."

Dorothea smiled back, a little tremulously, and nodded.

The four Gardiner kids sat open mouthed in their father's dining room as he addressed them, shocked to the core.

"And I have no intention of letting you go to some stupid school in the godforsaken wilds of Scotland. I've enrolled you all in the local school, which has enough security to stop your mother trying to kidnap you."

The four Gardiner children stared at each other aghast.

"In England, we go to a Public School, which is a kind of private school, not state education," Adam tried to keep his temper. "It's run by governors, and Lucius is one of them."

"And what has your mother been up to, to afford to send you to private school? I don't want my children to be laughed at for being the children of someone sleeping about with her stuck up and feeble-looking employer just to get into a private school."

"You take that back! It's the perks of Lucius' employees to have their kids go to the school. We get a much better education there than in your stupid local school, so you can't use the argument that you have our welfare in mind."

"Don't take that tone with me! How can anyone take seriously a school recommended by a man with a poncey name like Lucius?" sneered their father. "My mind is made up, and it's no good whining about it."

"You can't do this," said Andy. "Mom has custody of us."

"Possession is nine tenths of the law," Roger shrugged. "Go to your rooms; I don't want to hear another word."

Ace was the first to apparate in to Adam's room, with a faint 'tic'.

"Amy Charlotte, they'll break your wand!" Adam was fearful.

"Don't be a poor prune; this was why we were blooded," said Ace.

"I thought it was so other people could find us," said Adam.

"Well, yes, but also we can use elf-style apparation so it doesn't register," said Ace, patiently. "And you in with Lils and Sextus!"

"Dad makes my brain switch off," admitted Adam. Quickly he pulsed the other two, and they apparated in, Amanda stumbling, and Andy sitting down on the bed rather quickly. Adam looked hard at Ace. She shrugged.

"Of course I've been practising, for just such an emergency," she said.

"I don't think I can apparate clear to England," said Andy.

"Nor me," said Adam. "We need… oh."

A selection of Snapes and Sol deMalfoy turned up, making three elves amongst them with Sevvy and Iris as well as Sol.

"We Snapes do apparating best," said Iris, "so we hit the Malfoys and sundries and they are chanting up a circle to land in."

"And we'll chant up the circle to, as it were, push," said Richard.

"And nobody has yet put up a muffliatus spell or locked the door," said Lilith.

"No wands," said Adam. "Oh, I suppose it wouldn't show if we cast wandlessly."

"Where have your brains gone wandering, you baboon?" asked Lilith.

"I find them difficult put in gear when our father is haranguing," admitted Adam. "Amy Charlotte will tell you, I've been so busy not following my inclinations to turn him into a fluffy white rabbit that I can't think straight."

"Not very original, but as he breeds like a rabbit, or at least collects stepchildren like one, and his brains aren't much better, I suppose it's reasonable," said Lilith.

"And how many children does your father have?" asked Andy.

"Heaps," said Lilith equably. "All right, that was unduly snide, but we have established fairly succinctly on previous occasions that the sperm bank who used to be married to your mother is a seriously inadequate parent, terminally moronic and about as much use as a hat full of doxy droppings."

"I love her descent from erudite and prolixic description to the coarse," murmured Adam.

"Brain returning to full function; that was almost worthy of Sextus," approved Lilith. "Red Five, standing by."

"Red Three, standing by," said Adam, obediently, taking the hand of Amanda on one side and Ace on the other. The circle chanted, and with a smooth transition that was in no way like side-along apparating, they merged with the landscape of a wet bank holiday weekend outside Malfoy Manor, in a circle of other Marauders and supporters.

"Well, get a move on," said Gennar. "Lilith spends all her time talking at people, which is why you took so long, and Dad has hidden hundreds of chocolate eggs in the garden, and if you want to find any, you'd better get looking."

It was a little anticlimactic, but Adam for one preferred anticlimactic to dramatic.

1 In rain, storm or snow or in sun's laughing light,
In day's scorching heat or in bitter cold night,
Our faces covered with the dust
But hearts with joy are filled (Yes, joy are filled),
Our brooms just like whirlwinds advance in the field.

this was the translation I liked best for keeping the spirit of the song, thanks to ccc31807. Iif you want direct translations and don't know the tune, google Panzerleid. It's the one from 'Battle of the Bulge'.