Title: The Transition
Summary: It's Severus's birthday, and Harry wants to finally tell Severus that he is in love with him. Will Harry and Severus be able to make the transition from friends to lovers, or do they work better as friends?
Rated: T
Pairing(s): Harry Potter/Severus Snape, Ron Weasley/Hermione Granger
Genre(s): Romance, Friendship, Drama
Warning(s): Some angst
AN: So I wasn't originally planning on writing anything new because I've been working on my other Snarry story, "Hiding With You", but this fic is inspired by a dream I had last night (Yes, I'm so obsessed with Snarry that I DREAMED about them XD) and in the dream, Severus actually didn't return Harry's feelings. In pretty much all of my fics, Harry and Severus fall in love with each other, and admit their feelings, no problem. But what if Severus never thought about more than friendship with Harry before Harry admitted his feelings? And what if Harry and Severus had a more awkward transition from friends to lovers? This is what I think would happen in that scenario. Hope you guys like it! :)
Harry's PoV:
"I'm going to tell him tomorrow," Harry said to Ron and Hermione one afternoon.
His best friends exchanged an unconvinced look. They had heard this from Harry a million times before, yet Severus Snape was still unaware that Harry was head over heels in love with him. "Harry, not to discourage you or anything, but you never actually tell him how you feel," Hermione pointed out.
"I know, but tomorrow's his birthday," said Harry. "So it will be perfect. And I have the best present for him. He's going to love it."
"That's great, Harry," said Hermione.
"Good luck, mate," Ron added. "He's an even bigger idiot than I thought if he doesn't have feelings for you."
"I think he does. I just hope I read the signs right," Harry said. "It's so hard to tell, you know?"
Ron laughed. "Yeah, I know. I'm in love with Hermione, remember?"
Harry and Ron shared a good laugh over that while Hermione glared at them. "True," said Harry. "But Severus is different. He can be very secretive, and I don't know if that's because he's hiding his feelings or if he doesn't actually feel anything for me."
Hermione stared at Harry in sympathy. She was the first to know how Harry felt, because she had been the first to guess it, even before Harry himself had realized his feelings for the Potions Master. Harry had had quite a time hiding his feelings from a very observant Severus Snape. It had become too exhausting to hide it, so Harry had decided to just give in and tell him.
"Do you want us to be there with you for support?" Ron asked him.
"Thanks, mate, but no," Harry said. "I have to do this alone. Well, alone with him. You know Severus can be uncomfortable being himself around other people."
The rest of the night dragged on endlessly, and suddenly it was tomorrow. Severus's birthday.
Harry could hardly concentrate on teaching his classes, which was really bad. Severus had asked Harry to spend the evening with him, and Harry had happily agreed. At six, he walked in to Severus's private rooms with the gift he was so proud of. He could hardly wait to see Severus's face when he opened it.
"Happy birthday," Harry said, and handed him the box.
"Harry, you didn't have to get me anything," Severus said. "I simply wanted your company."
Harry's face burned, but he just laughed and said, "Are you kidding? Of course I'm going to get you something. Open it." He sat down eagerly on the couch beside Severus, grinning excitedly.
Severus pulled off the wrapping paper to find an assortment of potions ingredients. Harry had gone to a lot of trouble to find all the ingredients - he'd asked some of his coworkers what Severus wanted, and with the help of Horace Slughorn, had been able to track most of them down. He'd also managed to get Severus an advanced reader copy of the next book in his favorite series that wasn't due to come out for another three months.
Severus stared at Harry in awe. "Harry, how did you - these ingredients are extremely rare - who told you-"
"Horace helped me a bit," Harry admitted. "And some of the store owners in Diagon Alley knew you and knew what you wanted. They told me where to find the ingredients. As for the arc, I just contacted the publishing company and asked them for one."
The look on Severus's face was priceless. "I have no idea how to thank you enough," Severus said. "Harry, you don't know how much these gifts mean to me."
"I want you to be happy." Harry smiled. "So, what do you want to do this evening?"
Severus's PoV:
They spent the first part of the evening in Severus's lab, brewing potions that Severus was now able to make with the ingredients Harry had given him. The Potions Master was still in shock. He couldn't believe that Harry would go to such measures to find a gift for him. He was touched, and made a vow to find a gift equally as wonderful for Harry when his birthday arrived.
Severus did notice that Harry seemed quite nervous the whole evening. He was fidgety and much chattier than usual and became so distracted that he almost messed up one of the potions, which Severus scolded him about. In their year and a half of friendship, they hardly ever fought but they still had brief arguments occasionally.
At around eight, they retired back to Severus's rooms for wine and chess. Severus was prepared to lose to Harry, but was quite surprised when he easily won the first chess game. Harry had continued to make mistakes that normally he never made, and had downed a whole glass of wine rather quickly.
After the second chess game, which Severus had also effortlessly won, he sighed and asked, "Alright, what's bothering you?"
"What do you mean?" Those green eyes stared innocently back at him.
Severus rolled his eyes. "You've been fidgety and distracted all evening, almost messed up one of my potions and you are losing miserably at chess," he said, and Harry gave a nervous laugh. "Whatever it is, just tell me. I won't be angry. What did you do?"
"I didn't do anything," Harry said, biting his lip. Severus opened his mouth to protest, but Harry held up a hand. "But I do have to tell you something."
Perplexed, Severus said, "Harry, you know you can come to me about anything. I don't want there to be any secrets between us."
"I know, which is why I..." Harry sighed, and took a deep breath. "I..."
Severus's gaze softened. Harry looked terrified of him, the first time since they had become friends, and Severus no longer wanted that kind of a relationship between them. "Harry, whatever it is you want to tell me, I promise I will not be angry and I will listen to you. I don't want you to feel that you can't talk to me about something-"
"I'm in love with you," Harry blurted out.
Severus froze in shock. "What?"
Harry nodded, his eyes filling with tears. "I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't want to tell you but I also wasn't comfortable keeping it from you."
"How...how long?" Severus asked.
"Since the first Christmas that we were friends," Harry admitted. "When you came with me to the Weasleys for winter break. I fell in love with you some time around then. I can't pinpoint an exact moment." They were both silent for a moment before Harry went on, "I want to be with you, Severus. You are more than a coworker, and even a friend, to me. I love you."
Harry put a hand over Severus's, and the older man's breath hitched. Severus met his gaze, unable to move, as Harry leaned in to kiss him. Severus closed his eyes as their noses brushed, and a moment later he felt a pair of warm lips pressing against his. Something deep inside Severus fluttered and he pressed back firmly against Harry's lips, earning a whimper from the younger man. Harry's lips were soft and warm, and he tasted like the wine they had been drinking. The kiss was simple, lips to lips, and it lasted for a few long moments before Harry pulled away.
Severus was half relieved, half disappointed when the kiss was over. He had no time to analyze the growing warmth in his chest and the rapid beating of his heart. "I - I don't think this is a good idea," he said. He and Harry were friends, and Severus didn't want to lose his friendship if the relationship did not work out. A rush of fear overcame him at the thought of losing Harry.
Severus shook his head. "I'm sorry," he said truthfully. "I wish I could give you more...however, I think it is best if we remain friends, and nothing more."
A tear streaked down Harry's cheek and the younger man quickly wiped it away. "Oh, alright," he said. "I should probably go, I have tons of papers to grade." He stood quickly and hurried to the door. Looking back, he added, "Happy birthday Severus," and left.
Harry's PoV:
"Oh, Harry, I'm so sorry," Hermione said ten minutes later. "What happened?"
Harry had gone to her and Ron's rooms in tears. "I t-told him, and I kissed h-him, and he s-said that he thinks we s-should just b-be friends." Harry cried into Hermione's shoulder, staining her robes with tears.
"You kissed him?" Ron said in surprise. "What did he do?"
Harry lifted his head, and Hermione gave him a tissue to wipe his eyes and nose. "I thought he was kissing me back, but when we pulled away, he said he didn't want to be with me."
"That really sucks, mate." On his other side, Ron patted his shoulder. "I told you Snape was an idiot."
"Ron!" Hermione hissed. "So not helping!"
"Sorry."
Hermione rolled her eyes, and Harry sniffled. "What am I going to do?" he asked. "This was what I was afraid of. Severus and I work together, I see him every day. How can I possibly avoid him?"
"You can't," Hermione said. "If he said he wants to continue to be friends, I don't see why it should be a problem."
Harry nodded. "I guess it could be worse," he admitted. "It just hurts so much."
"It's worse not knowing," Hermione pointed out. "Trust me." She and Ron exchanged a glance and Harry managed a weak smile.
"And try to get some sleep, alright?" Ron added. "We have Quidditch coaching tomorrow morning, and you can't be falling asleep while we're teaching a dangerous sport-"
"Ron!" Hermione exclaimed again.
"Alright," Harry agreed. "I should probably go to bed. Thanks, guys." He went next door to his own rooms, and got into bed right away. Now that he was alone, the tears started again, and Harry sobbed until he fell asleep.
Severus's PoV:
Harry looked awful when he arrived to the Great Hall for breakfast. Severus tried to catch his eye - they usually sat together at the staff table, but today Harry walked right past him and plopped himself down between Horace and Hagrid, who looked quite surprised.
"Are you and Harry fighting again?" Minerva asked him as she sat down in her normal seat beside Severus.
"Something like that." Severus sighed. "Last night Harry told me that he loves me."
"Ah," Minerva said, not looking at all surprised. Severus wondered if Harry had confided in her, and felt a pang of something he realized was jealousy. "And I assume you turned him down?"
Severus nodded, taking a long drink of his coffee. He hadn't slept well at all last night. His mind kept going back to Harry's confession, and that kiss... "I don't want to mess anything up with him," Severus said. "Relationships are hard, and I would hate to lose him."
"But do you have feelings for him?" Minerva asked. "Regardless of what could or might happen between you two."
Severus thought of the warm feeling in his chest when Harry had kissed him, and his hand resting on Severus's. Did he have feelings for Harry? Before last night, Severus hadn't given it any thought. "I don't know," he admitted. "I enjoyed kissing him, but I never thought of him like that until he told me about his feelings."
"Would you want to kiss him again?" Minerva asked.
The question startled him. Severus's heart skipped a beat at the thought of kissing Harry again, and he admitted, "Yes, I would like to."
Minerva smiled. "Then I suggest you ask him to go on a date with you," she said. "Tell him you are confused about your feelings. I am sure Harry will understand."
"Alright. I will do that," Severus said. "I hope he isn't too angry with me."
"He's probably just hurting," Minerva said. "He really loves you." Severus stared at her in surprise, and Minerva smiled and turned her attention to her breakfast.
Harry's PoV:
"You wanted to see me?" That evening after dinner, Harry walked into Severus's classroom.
Severus looked up and smiled when he saw Harry. "Yes. I have been thinking a lot about last night, and the kiss..." He swallowed, and continued. "I am not exactly sure how I feel, and I have never thought about it until now. If you are still interested in me, I would like to take you out to dinner on Friday night."
Harry gawked at him. "Really? But you said you didn't want to be with me."
"I never said that," Severus pointed out. "I said I didn't think it was a good idea. But I never confirmed or denied any feelings I may have for you."
"So...you do have feelings for me then?" Harry was totally lost, but still hopeful that Severus may at least give him a chance.
"I don't know," Severus admitted. "I do know that I would like to kiss you again."
Harry blushed. "Oh," he said. "Well...good. I was worried I had violated you by kissing you without your consent. I thought maybe I'd made you uncomfortable."
"Harry, if I hadn't been alright with it, I would have stopped you," Severus pointed out. "I knew it was happening. And that is why I am asking you to have dinner with me. Perhaps I have been having feelings for you and failed to realize it."
"Ah." Harry nodded in understanding. "Well...if you decide you don't want to be more than friends, I will understand, Sev."
"Thank you. Just know that no matter what happens, I won't stop caring about you," Severus said.
Harry smiled. "I know, Sev. And I can reassure you of the same thing. I'm not going to be angry with you for how you feel or don't feel. That would be unfair."
"I'm glad we established this now," Severus said.
"Me too," said Harry, and hugged him tightly. Severus's arms wrapped around him, pulling him close against the Potions Master. Harry rested his head on Severus's chest, feeling safe and content in his friend's arms. "I can't wait for dinner, Sev."
"I am looking forward to it as well," Severus said as they pulled away from the hug.
Harry smiled and kissed Severus's cheek before leaving the Potions classroom.
AN: Hope you all liked Chapter 1! Chapter 2 will be up soon. Please review :)