No. Absolutely fucking no. He refuses.

It's been a few hours since the Sabaody fiasco where Straw Hat Luffy showed up in a bang -more like a hole in a ceiling- and left a disaster behind him -being pissed off marines and freed slaves-, bringing and taking his trouble-making crew with him.

Law's first impression of the teen was reckless, given that he caused enough trouble that Law was able to join in without being the sole-target of the Marines' ire. It didn't make much of a difference, considering the marines began placing the blame on all three of them.

All in all, it was an eventful day.

In more ways than one.

Nobody was really specific on the 'whatever your soul mate first says to you will be tattooed on your body for life' thing. They didn't explain that if your soul mate is someone who fucking declares something to everyone listening and not listening -the world included- then it counts if you hear it.

Law double-checks his upper arm in his bathroom's mirror for the he-doesn't-know-what time. Considering that Shachi's knocked a couple of times, he must've been in here for more than twenty minutes.

He stares at the black ink with narrowed eyes. He refuses.

Someone, presumably Shachi, knocks again.

"Uh, Captain... you okay in there?" It's Penguin.

"Yes, fine." Law replies through gritted teeth. That stupid, little, fucking shit-

"Are you sure?"

"Positive!" He bites out.

A quick muttered 'Sorry Captain!' follows. Shit, he feels sorta bad about that. Looking at the declaration staring back at him mockingly, Law decides to deal with his crew later.

He'll cut it off. He can do that, he's the Surgeon Of Death for fuck's sake.

Law mutters a quick room, pulling back his sleeve with his teeth while the blue light ripples around him and his other hand wraps around his Nodachi's hilt. He studies it for a few seconds, angling the blade before smirking and slicing precisely. The flesh containing the words slide off, finger rotating to remove the ink and reattaching the severed skin.

The blue light fades, and Law smirks after his skin remains unchanged.

His smirk quickly fades a second later when the words reappear like they never disappeared, mocking him.

Law lets his sleeve fall from his mouth, gritting his teeth. He refuses to be that- that brat's fucking advertiser! Or, people can't be that fucking stupid (he wishes; but people have always proven him wrong), that someone mistakes him for Straw Hat Luffy. He doesn't know which is worse, people thinking he's Straw Hat's follower, or advertiser.

Worst of all, people realizing that Straw Hat Luffy -the rubber mad man to some, a rubbery brat to others- is his soulmate. Trafalgar Law's, the Surgeon Of Death's – whose known for cruelty, being a medical genius, and an intelligent weirdo to others- soul mate.

Not platonic unless Straw Hat is asexual or aromantic; however, the latter is very unlikely considering the whole romantic soul mate thing. So if Straw Hat is asexual, he's still his romantic 'we're supposed to be lovers and love each other in every time period' soul mate, though Law knows it isn't always that simple.

No, Straw Hat Luffy is his romantic soul mate. What an embarrassment.

Not that the brat's not attractive, the opposite really- fuck! No, no. Law's not doing this. No. He's not considering it. Fucking no.

He growls and repeats the process a few more times, not even reattaching anything at all, and there it is, reappearing in perfect black ink like he's stuck with it forever, or like it's a part of his being or something. Which, rhetorically speaking, it is.

It pisses him off.

Law scowls, quickly formulating a new plan and throwing open the bathroom door, stalking past his fellow crew mates who say nothing, only stare with wide eyes and mouths agape.

It's coming the fuck off.

Passing by the bathroom mirror, the words are still perfectly carved into his tan skin: I'm Monkey D. Luffy! I'm gonna be the Pirate King!

If Law had taken the time to notice.

...

...

...

After their captain disappears around the corner, Shachi breaks the silence first.

"Was that?" he asks hesitantly, glancing at their newest crew member who shrugs.

"Yep," Penguin replies, wide eyes blinking before he turns to his fellow red-haired crew mate with a shit-eating grin, his eyes flicking to the halls a few of their other crew mates are cowering behind to escape their captain's wrath.

Many of them noticed their captain's foul mood, and how he stalked to the nearest bathroom aboard. While the foul mood isn't unheard of, no, their captain's sometimes a naturally grumpy man, but seeking out the first bathroom is a first, considering their captain has his own bedroom and bathroom.

Some bet it was the food the islands many vendors were selling, some said he held in his pee too long, hell, some even thought it was sexual frustration! They hadn't visited a good brothel or islander bar in a while, it was possible. Some bet, and were either excited or sulking that their captain found another soul mate nakama, which didn't make much sense, since their only new member of the week was Jean Bart, and captain seemed laid-back at the former slave joining the crew. While others bet it was due to their captain finding his soul mate, question was, to the ones who bet this, who was unlucky enough to be in a romantic unending cycle with their captain? By the way their captain was acting, some guessed Eustass Kid, others, Straw Hat Luffy.

"Pay up guys'!"

A chorus of groans and cheers follows.

Penguin was one of the many (who actually pitched in) guessed right.

"Heh, I never thought it would be Straw Hat." Shachi admits, scratching the back of his neck with sweat running down the side of his face.

Jean Bart remains silent, watching his other crew mate collect money in gusto before he grins slightly, merely a twitch of the lips before it's gone.

"Fate is a strange mistress, Shachi."

"Agreed."


A/N:

Beta'd by: psychotriton

Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece

If you don't mind, please leave me what you thought of Advertising (And How Law Hates It)!