A/N: In the middle of writing my smutty/dirty Jarley fanfiction, this little scenario came into my head and I decided to publish it as a one shot. However, I'd say it's the same take on their relationship as in my other fic. I'm impatient and an attention whore so I decided to get people's reactions. I didn't proofread or anything-sorry for any mistakes. Also, I realize that Johnny Frost probably died in the helicopter explosion but I decided to bring him back to life badly burned, though I never really mention that. I love his character too much to let him stay dead. But anyway, hope you enjoy this-I'm very tired so again sorry if it's bad haha. (Okay, went back and edited out the mistakes I found).

Johnny Frost leaned against the window. It was raining so hard he could feel it pounding on the glass behind him and the wind hissing by. He'd heard on the television that it was one of the worst thunderstorms in Gotham's history.

He watched and winced as Harley Quinn let out another pained wail. He and the doctor, also one of the boss's few henchwomen, were the only ones in the room besides J and Harley-the doctor there for obvious reasons, Frost there because, he could only assume, the boss was already paranoid about his heirs' well beings even though they weren't even out of the oven yet.

"Doctorrrrr, can you speed up this whole process?" J snapped, wincing as Harley squeezed his hand and shrieked again. "Give her something."

"I can't give her anything else, she's too close," the doctor said, agitated. Frost sympathized with her-she was obviously torn between doing her job and not pissing the boss off. "You've gotta keep pushing."

"They're going to tear me open!" Harley shrieked, clutching J's hand in a death grip. Even from across the room Johnny could see that her knuckles were white and the boss's hands were bruised from how hard she was holding on to them.

Frost had never seen the boss look panicked and concerned before, besides when Harley was gone those nine months. Usually he went through life with such psychotic carelessness and antipathy that it seemed impossible that he took anything seriously at all. "You heard her, baby." Harley screwed up her face and lowered her chin to her chest, groaning.

"First one's crowning," the doctor said.

Harley screamed. "Damn it, pull 'em out, you bitch!" Frost closed his eyes, trying to go to a happy place. Why do you want me here, boss?

"Almost over, baby," J breathed, and Frost saw a crazed, eager light in his eye and relief spread over his face.

Five minutes later, Harley gave one last push and shriek, and then a mewling cry echoed throughout the room. The boss was breathing heavily, still clutching Harley's hand with both of his, watching as the doctor reached out and offered the tiny, crying creature to Harley. "The girl."

Harley, all pain temporarily gone from her face and tears welling up in her eyes, reached out and practically snatched the baby from the doctor. "Oh, God. Oh, God," she said, starting to genuinely cry. For the first time to Frost, she seemed like a normal woman. "Come here, Lucy. Oh, God, puddin', look at her." Harley pressed her lips to the baby's forehead. "She's so beautiful."

J was staring down at the tiny figure, seemingly transfixed. He had the same possessive look on his face that Frost saw whenever he looked at Harley. "C'mere, Lucy. Go see your daddy," Harley said, sobbing and offering up the baby towards J. The boss slowly, cautiously reached out and took the baby girl, holding her up with both hands and staring down at her incredulously. Harley gazed up at them, an adoring look shining on her face, before she gasped and her face contorted in pain again. She whimpered and closed her eyes.

"One more time," the doctor said. "You're almost done. I can already see the head."

Harley cried out, tears coursing down her face, but this time she hardly had to do anything before Frost heard another shrill wail and Harley exhaled loudly, gasping in relief. "And the boy," the doctor said, handing him to Harley.

"JJ," she said, starting to sob again.

"I'll get the girl cleaned up, sir, if you want to hold the boy," the doctor said, voice full of trepidation.

"Be careful with her," J said warningly, reluctantly handing the baby over. Frost sincerely hoped the doctor would be careful, because she would certainly face the Joker's wrath if she wasn't.

Harley passed the boy to J. "He's so cute, puddin'," she said tearfully. "Look at his little hands and feet."

"He looks like you, kitten," the Joker said in an odd voice that Frost had never heard before. He hoped J didn't mind him bearing witness to this, though he supposed after he'd seen what the boss was like when Harley was missing, J didn't care much what Frost saw-as long as he never breathed a word of it to anyone else.

"Here you are," the doctor said, carefully placing the girl near Harley's chest. "She's hungry." Harley eagerly pulled the shoulder and top of her gown down and Frost averted his eyes until he was sure it was safe to look again.

"Yeah, you're hungry after all that work killing mommy, aren't you little Lucy?" Harley cooed. J had sat down on the edge of the bed, wrapping an arm around Harley's shoulder and watching. Harley leaned her head against him and Frost couldn't help wondering if he was actually seeing the two clowns acting like normal, mentally sound parents. It was too unbelievable and surreal after the things he had seen them do.

When the doctor brought the boy over to eat and Harley handed Lucy to the boss again, Johnny started to head towards the door behind the doctor. "Wait, Frost," he heard J say. "Come back in a couple hours and have a drink. Celebrate with me."

Johnny looked at him, surprised. "Alright. Sure the missus and you don't want the rest of the night to yourselves?"

The boss looked down at Harley. "You don't mind Johnny keeping me company for an hour or two after you go to sleep, do you kitten? You need your rest, baby."

"No, that's fine, puddin'," Harley murmured, reaching over and squeezing his arm while gazing worshipfully at the baby at her breast.

Frost nodded at the boss in acquiescence. As he turned to close the door behind him, he was shocked to see the Joker-notorious crime lord and psychopath of Gotham, arch nemesis of the Batman-lean over, baby cradled gently in one arm, and share a deep, loving kiss with Harley. Frost heard him murmur, "You did so good, honey...you made me proud." He closed the door, awestruck. He had seen the two lunatics kiss plenty of times before, but it had always been animal like, sexy and hot. Had they always been like this alone together? If they had, they had made sure to hide it from anyone else. Frost shook his head as he headed to the kitchen downstairs to get some chow. It had been a long day and it appeared he would still be on duty for a couple of hours more.

When he came back later that night, Harley was asleep. Frost could see both the exhaustion and happiness on her still face. He could also see that she was already getting her figure back. Frost had no desire to be with a crazy lady like Harley, but in some ways, the boss really was a lucky man.

The two babies were asleep in small cradles by the bed, within arm's reach of Harley, and the boss was standing over them, the possessive look still in his eyes. "Come here, Frost," he said quietly, not raising his eyes from the babies.

Frost crossed the room and stood on the other side of the cribs. Harley had put the babies in pink and blue onesies and they were as deeply asleep as their mother. They already had bright blonde hair like Harley, the boy's curly and the girl's straight. He had to admit that the babies were cute. He watched as J reached down and stroked the girl's hair, as if in a trance. Lucy, Frost reminded himself, wondering why Harley had chosen the name. He still wondered if the boss wasn't going to regret this.

"Think she's going to be daddy's little girl, Frost?" J said quietly.

"Oh yeah, boss," Johnny said. "I believe it. I think she even looks a bit like you. Has your nose."

J laughed, obviously pleased. "Do you think so?"

"Oh yeah. You made some good lookin' kids, boss."

The Joker finally raised his face to look at Frost and it was full of insane pride. "I did, didn't I?" He seemed to snap out of his daze and gave his leering, gold toothed grin. "Celebrate with me. Have a drink. Isn't that what new fathers do? You're the only one privileged enough with my trust to share this special occasion."

He fixed Frost and himself a drink and they sat down in the purple velvet armchairs, J's legs lazily spread out as he settled deep into the chair and took a long swig. He gazed at Harley. "I wasn't sure if everything was going to go as planned, Frost. Even I've never seen her like that before."

"I think it's supposed to be like that, boss," Frost said. "Your lady's tough."

J nodded slowly. "You're right. That she is." He paused and a slow grin covered his face. "Can you believe I'm a family man now, Frost?"

Johnny hesitated. "Well, boss, I gotta admit...it's a little hard to believe."

J threw his head back and gave his trademark cackle. "At least you're honest, Frost. I never would have chosen it for myself. But she wanted it...and I'd do anything for her. You saw that." He grew oddly quiet before speaking again, as if to himself. "She wanted it for a long time. And I think I'm glad she did." He was quiet again.

Frost cast around in his head for something to break the silence. He never liked the boss to stay quiet for too long. "She's going to be a good mother, boss," he finally said, hoping to God he wasn't lying and almost one hundred percent sure he was. Well, by their own abnormal standards she'd be a good one.

"That she will be," J murmured, gazing again at Harley and the babies, adoration spreading across his face. Frost took another sip of his drink and considered the bleach skinned, green haired man across from him. He wondered if the Joker and Harley could feel actual love and affection for each other and the kids or if they were just one more possession and crazy creation for them. But maybe it was possible-maybe the two monsters could love, some way, somehow.

The boss shook his head and changed the subject to business. For the next hour they sat and drank, talking about the boss's future plans. Finally, J leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees and empty glass in hand, obviously bringing their celebration to a close.

"Frost," he said, his voice growing intense. "The three of them are the most valuable things in my world now. If anything happens to them...Harley or Lucy or JJ..." He didn't finish his sentence, just looked Frost straight in the eye. Frost didn't look away. "You understand? It would kill her if anything happened to her babies. And that would kill me."

"I won't let anything happen to them, boss," Frost said quietly. "And I won't speak a word of this to anyone." He paused. "I found your girl for you. I nearly died helping you get her back. And I'll do it again if any danger comes near them. I work for you."

J stood up, looking satisfied. He didn't say anything and Frost stood up too. "Thank you Frost," J said slowly. "Thank you for celebrating with me tonight."

Johnny nodded. "You're welcome, boss." As he turned to close the door behind him, he saw J crawl into the bed beside Harley, putting one hand protectively above her head on the pillow, hand resting in her hair, and another across her body and around her arm, hugging her to him and burying his face in her shoulder.

Johnny closed the door and started down the hall towards the elevator, ready for the comfort of his own bed. Maybe...maybe that little clown family is gonna be able to love each other after all.