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Goodbye Is Never Forever

Chapter Twenty-Four: Goodbye Is Never Forever

Missouri — Riverdale Hospital — 11:21 AM.

The past couple of days had been nothing like anything Dean had ever experienced before in his life, and something he never wanted to go through again for as long as he lived. They had been horrendous, terrifying, draining, and a part of him still wasn't sure how he had gotten through them with his sanity still in check. Everything that had happened since he had caught that plane home had pushed his faith to the limits, it had tested his patience and put a strain on his family like never before. Dean had seen things he never thought he would, gotten through things he never thought he could, and he had found out things he could never have imagined. The past couple of days had changed everything for both him and his family, yet a part of him couldn't help but think that maybe it had brought them all closer.

And, aside from everything, he found himself unable to hold back the smile that kept creeping up on his face. He sat on the bed beside his sister, who was much more alert than she had been before, content. She sat up, legs folded beneath her, and there was a soft smile on her face, something that he had missed. Dean had raided the vending machine in the corridor and between them they sat and watched an old horror movie on the small television the hospital room had to offer. Their parents and brother had long since retired to a motel to get some much craved sleep, but he had stayed. He wasn't going anywhere. Not until he had no choice in it.

"Just like old times, huh?" He grinned down at her, tossing up a piece of candy and catching it in his mouth.

Alison huffed a laugh, as though amused by the idea. "I think some things might have changed since the last time we did this." she offered. There was a seriousness behind her tone, one that told him she was still thinking hard about what had happened, not that he could blame her for that. It hadn't left his mind, either, and he doubted it ever would.

But all Dean did in response was shake his head at her. "Nothing too important." he countered. "You still have a lame taste in horror movies."

"Hey, night of the living dead is, and always will be, a classic." she told him, defensive. "And you love this movie, Dean. I know you do. Don't even try to deny it."

Dean rolled his eyes, and he threw a small bag of candy at her. "Shut up."

Alison rolled her eyes at him, and he couldn't help but notice that she appeared so normal, so okay, as though nothing had ever happened to her. He didn't believe it for a second, and he couldn't determine whether she was trying to convince him or herself that everything was alright. It was more than likely for his benefit, because he knew his sister, and she would never willingly sit there and tell him that she wasn't okay if she had the choice. But that was the problem. He wasn't going to be there forever, and when her act came crashing and burning down around her, when things got bad enough that she just couldn't keep it up anymore, he would be gone.

It was a hard thing to ignore that it was the last time he was going to see her for a long while. After everything that had happened between them all in the past couple of days, after everything that she had been though, everything that she had seen, he wanted to be there for her. He wanted to be there when she was released from the hospital, when she returned home to the town where everyone had believed her to be dead, where there were sympathy cards in the living room and flowers with cards that said sorry for your loss. His sister hated the attention being on her, and she was going home to a place where he knew she was going to be the girl who came back from the dead. He wanted to ensure that she was alright, because he couldn't even begin to imagine how she was going to deal with everything she had experienced, a lot of which he still didn't know about. He wanted to know, he wanted to understand every last detail, but he couldn't bring himself to ask her. He knew that she didn't want to tell him, whether she didn't want to talk about it or she didn't want him to know, he couldn't determine. But he wouldn't make her tell him, not if she wasn't ready.

Whatever the fallout was, if there was one, he wasn't going to be there to help her through it, and that hurt. More than he would admit.

"You've gone quiet." she commented, looking up at him. "What are you thinking so hard about?"

Her soft voice pulled him back from his thoughts, and he didn't miss the slight concern in her words. A smile came to his face, and he pushed back the thoughts, because it wasn't a conversation he was prepared to have just yet. "I'm trying to work out who'd be more badass on a hunt," he replied, as though there was nothing wrong. "You or mom."

Alison's brow furrowed to a frown, and he knew that she didn't believe that was what he had been thinking about, but she didn't comment. "I can't believe that mom did this." she replied simply. "I mean, she's so," She paused, as if searching for the right word. "Not violent."

"Yeah, tell me about it." he agreed, perplexed. If his sister hunting monsters had taken him by surprise, it was nothing on the confession he had heard from their mother. "Just imagine her swinging a machete through someone's neck."

"Or digging up a grave." She gave a soft laugh. "I bet dad was like you when he found out, all wide eyed and dumb looking."

Dean cracked a smile. "How long are you gonna hold that over me?" he asked, rolling his eyes. "I think it's normal for someone to be a little surprised when they see a ghost. And I'm sure ninety-nine percent of the planet would agree with me on that. We're not all crazy monster killers like you and mom, you know."

Alison smirked. "See, Dean, what have I always told you about women?"

Dean groaned, exasperated. "They're smarter and more efficient and more badass than men." he remarked, quoting the words he had heard from her a million times in the past.

"Exactly." She smiled up at him, smug. "And you see now why I've always been right about it?"

Dean shook his head at her. "I'm still not agreeing with that, and you'll never make me agree." he challenged. "You couldn't even keep me out of your laptop, Ali. You're hardly the CIA."

"But, would an employee of the CIA know how to burn a ghost or kill a vampire?" she rebuked, raising her eyebrows at him. "These are the questions you've gotta ask yourself, Dean. I was providing a national service."

Dean stared at her for a long moment. "You're so messed up, you know that?" He smiled fondly. "I've missed you, kiddo."

"Of course you have." She smirked up at him. "I'm a good sister."

Dean rolled his eyes, and he nodded. "Yeah, I'll give you that one. Just because you're in the hospital with a chunk of your head flesh missing." he remarked, and his eyes lingered on the bandage at her hairline for a moment. "That's gonna leave you a pretty badass scar, by the way. I'm impressed."

Alison laughed. "Yeah, me with my vampire hunt gone wrong scar and you with your bullet wound. We make quite the pair."

"Chicks dig scars, Ali." He smirked. "Good luck finding yourself a husband with yours."

Her eyes narrowed, and her head turned to him. "Did you just wish me good luck in finding a husband?" she pressed. "Wow."

Dean thought on her words for a moment, and he nodded. "Yeah, that was weird." he agreed. "Scratch that one, no boys. Ever."

Alison smiled at him. Things suddenly felt so familiar to her, so safe, so secure, unlike anything she had known the past couple of weeks. But it was hard to ignore how different things could have been, and it was all she had thought about since her mother's confession.

"Hey, what do you think would have happened that night, you know if mom hadn't stopped that thing from getting Sam?" she asked, her voice was quiet, far off, as though she were lost deep in her own thoughts. "I mean, imagine if we'd know about this stuff years ago, do you think we'd have grown up in the same way that mom did?"

Dean shrugged. "I don't know, Ali." he answered honestly. The same thing had been pressing on his own mind the past few hours. "I think life would've been a lot different. I can't imagine growing up in that life, hunting monsters forever." He shook his head. "I mean, is that even a life?"

Alison sighed. "I guess it is if it's all you've ever known." she offered. "Do you think that's why mom never talks about her childhood? Or her parents? I mean, we've always wondered why we never met them. Honestly, I thought they were dead."

Dean nodded. "Yeah, I know." he muttered. "But, what can you really tell your kids about your childhood if it was all monsters and hunting down demons? It's hardly something she'd tell us over dinner, is it?" He sighed lightly, shaking his head at the thought. "Kinda surprising she ended up the way she is now, you know? How do you grow up in so much evil and end up like mom?"

Alison shrugged. "Maybe she never let what she saw change her." she stated. There was something behind her comment that confused him, and suddenly he didn't recognize the look on her face. "Do you think people can change?"

Dean frowned at her, not following. "What d'ya mean?"

"Or, I mean, I guess people can change, but," She shrugged again, as though lost with her own train of thought. "Do you think people can change back?"

Dean regarded her for a long moment, saying nothing. She didn't face him, and she looked nowhere but the bed sheets at her lap. She looked hurt, upset, worried, and he knew whatever concerned her went far beyond their mother's childhood. "What's on your mind, Ali?" he asked, patient, curious, wanting to understand.

"I don't know." she admitted. "I meant what I said to mom, I meant it when I said that I wouldn't do this again, I don't want to." She paused, and he could see the fear behind her green eyes. "What if I'm still her?"

"Still who?" Dean frowned. "Are you okay?"

"I wasn't me when I was doing that job, Dean." she told him. "I was different. I lied, to everyone. I sat there and I lied to mom's face, over and over. I lied to you. I lied to Sam, and to dad. I lied to my friends. I was breaking the law, pretending to be a cop, showing up at crime scenes. I was killing people."

"They weren't people, Alison." he stopped her. "And, to be fair, I chopped off a few heads myself."

But that comment only seemed to spur her on further. "See, that's what I mean." she pressed. "I dragged you into my mess and look what happened. You're probably scarred for life. But, you know something, doing all that, I felt like someone else." She looked down from him, shaking her head as though ashamed. "I didn't like that girl."

Dean shifted slightly and moved to sit beside her, leaning up against the pillows. He gave a light sigh, considering his response. "Ali, you weren't different." he told her simply. "And you're not different now. You're the same girl you've always been. And, anything you did, mom's done it, too. She doesn't blame you for this, she doesn't judge you, and she's sure as hell not angry with you. Neither am I." She looked up to face him, and he could see there that she wasn't convinced by his words. There was nothing but guilt in her expression, and he didn't know how to make her understand. "Look, in answer to your question, yes, I do think people can change. But you shouldn't. Don't ever lose who you are, Ali."

"I can't believe what you did for me." she said softly.

"Yeah," Dean scoffed. "You and me both, sister." he quipped, but she didn't so much as crack a smile. She wasn't kidding around.

"It's not funny, Dean." she chided. "You could have been killed, or worse. And so could Sam. Look at what I put mom and dad through."

But all Dean could do was shake his head at her. "It doesn't matter, Ali." he answered honestly, as though none of it could have bothered him less. "I'd do it again, don't ever think that I wouldn't. I promised you that I'd always watch your back, and I always will. Whether that's boys or vampires or the kid at Starbucks not giving you the right change, it doesn't matter to me. Whatever happens, kiddo, I'm always gonna be here for you." He looked down to her, and she seemed to be contemplating his words carefully. "Just, tell me the truth here, are you okay? And, I mean, really?"

Alison thought on his question for a long moment, and he was so sure that she was about to lie to him, but her head gave the smallest shake, and he knew. "I don't know." she admitted. Her voice was small, afraid. "I really don't know anymore, Dean. In that place, just sitting there, waiting... I was so scared. I was so sure that I was gonna die there."

There were tears shining in her eyes, ones she was fighting with everything she had to hold back. He placed a strong arm around her shoulders and pulled her towards him for a moment. He placed a soft kiss to her forehead and rested his cheek to the top of her head. "I've got you, Ali." he told her softly. "You're gonna be fine. It's over. I promise. You're safe." The tears rolled down her cheeks, and he placed his other arm around her, pulling her closer. Her hands gripped to his t-shirt as she cried, unable to hold it back anymore. Everything that had happened over the past couple of weeks spilled out, and all he could do was sit there and hold onto her, and give her something to hold on to. "You know something, Ali, you're the best person I've ever known. I mean that. And, I know I'm gone a lot, and I know that I can't always be here for you like I should be, but I need you to believe me when I tell you that you're safe. I promise you, I'll never let anything happen to you again. I won't let anyone, or anything, hurt you."

Alison sniffled, and she pulled back from him enough to face him. "I believe you." she whispered.

Dean nodded, and he smiled down at her, because that was good enough for him at that point. Right there, he would take that. He wiped the tears from her cheeks with the back of his fingers, gently over the bruising that only seemed to have grown darker, and he sighed. "I meant what I said to you, Alison, you'll always be my best friend. No matter what, I will always have your back."

Alison nodded, and a smile came to her face. "Well, I meant what I said to you, too. Back when we were in Colorado." she said quietly. "I think we got lucky." He frowned a little, as if to ask what she meant. "You know Chloe, right?"

"Your friend?" He nodded. "What about her?"

"She has a brother. James." There was a thoughtful frown on her face as she spoke. "He's about five or six years older than her. They never speak to each other. I mean, even holidays, he'll come home for Christmas or their mom's birthday or whatever, you know when they're stuck in the same room, that's all it is to them, they're stuck with each other. And they hate it. They hate each other."

"Huh." Dean couldn't imagine it. "I didn't know that."

Alison shook her head. "Not many people do." she muttered. "She doesn't talk about him, ever. They just never got on, you know? Not every sister gets a real life vampire decapitating superhero for a brother." she quipped, and Dean gave a soft laugh. "I'm glad I got you. I don't know where I'd be now without you to save me."

Dean nodded. "I'm glad I got you, too." he replied, sincere. "Even if you are a pain in my ass, I guess I could have done a lot worse in the sister department." He thought back to what she had said, and he couldn't imagine a world where he and his sister weren't the way they were. It didn't seem real. "I hope you'd be prepared to decapitate a gang of vampires to save my life."

"Wouldn't think twice about it." she remarked. "I would destroy them."

"I don't doubt it." He chuckled. "Not for a second. If you think I'm a superhero for decapitating a few vampires, what does that make you, huh? You're a superhero yourself, Ali. I don't know why you don't see that."

"I think after this week it might be up for debate." she replied, sarcastic.

"Not to me." he muttered. "Whatever anyone else thinks about this, I still think it was all pretty damn impressive. There are people out there living their lives because of you, people who you saved. Nothing can take that away from you, and whatever happened doesn't change that."

Alison smiled a little. "You're so weirdly supportive, you know that?"

Dean snickered. "I'm proud of you, Ali." he told her. "That's never gonna change."

They sat there for a moment, saying nothing, and Dean could almost hear the thoughts churning in her mind. She glanced up at him, seeming hesitant. She didn't want to ask, but she knew that she had to. "I guess you're gonna be heading back."

Dean nodded, somewhat remorseful. "Yeah, guess so."

"I know that you say you don't care, but, for what it's worth, I am sorry that you had to come home because of me, Dean." she told him, apologetic, and he could hear the guilt behind her words. She looked down from him. "Everything that I put you through doing that stupid job. I'm sorry."

"Hey." Dean stopped her, and there was a soft frown on his face. "It's always good to be home, Alison, even under the circumstances." He smiled, and she knew that he meant what he said. "I'm just glad you're okay."

"When do you go?" she asked, her voice small, quiet.

Dean seemed reluctant for a moment, and he offered a sorrowful smile. "Tomorrow morning." he told her. "Probably before you're awake."

There was a sadness in her eyes that mirrored his perfectly. "I'm gonna miss you."

"Hey, come on, don't start that." He pushed up a smile, covering up any sadness that had showed itself. "Goodbye is never forever, Alison." he told her softly. "I think we've proved that more than once."

Alison nodded slowly, and a soft smile came to her face. "Goodbye is never forever." she agreed.

They had always promised each other that.

The End.

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